Bowser, Wario, and the WWF

By Ratfink

It was a dark and stormy morning, but by night, it cleared up. Wario walked out of his castle, and saw that his enitre treasure garden was gone. "@#%$^," yelled Wario. Of course, Wario was pissed off, with money and treasure being his only true love. Wario put on his hat, and started out of his castle to look for his treasure, all until...

     OOPS! Wario forgot that he must stay off of his left foot because Mario ran it over in Mario Kart 64 (Wario's foot is in a cast also). So wario said, "Well, I gotta get my treasure somehow, and also beat down that damn Mario for crushing my foot. Aha!"

     Wario got on the phone and called Bowser. "What do you want?" demanded Bowser. "Don't wory, it's a me, Wario!" said Wario. "Oh anyways, what do you want?" "Well, Mairo sorta ran over my foot, and someone stole all my treasure. I can't go out and find it, so I actually have to EARN it back, and hurt Mario at the same time. And you hate Mario as much as I do..." "I have an idea! Let me put you on hold."

     Wario was put on hold, and just to piss Wario off, Bowser put the Super Mario Theme Song on the phone in the background while Wario was on hold. Bowser came back on the phone in about 15 minutes.

     "I just talked with Vince McMahon from the WWF. I demanded a gauntlet match for WrestleMania 16." said Bowser. "Did he say yes?" said Wario. "Of course not, but after I sent a Magikoopa to put a spell on him, he said yeah, and he'll pay us $1 billion for the match." "Excellent! Now, who's gonna be in this gauntlet against Mario?" "Who else? The Koopalings!" "Oh Bowser, those damn kids were dominated by Mario back in the early 90's!" "Yeah, but they were only seven year olds, then." "You have a point there. Anyways, lets start training those kids!" "Alright then." Bowser and Wario started training the Koopalings for the gauntlet.

     Meanwhile, back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario was spending a little "time" with Peach in her castle, until the doorbell rang. After a short delay, Mario answered the door to see only an envelope at the stoop. He opened it and it said:

     Yo, Mario! You're going to be fighting a gauntlet at WrestleMania 16, or else! -Bowser and Wario

     "I'm not going! Are you, Peach? Peach? PEACH?!?" Peach wasn't there. A note was left on the floor where she was standing which said,

     Now you're going! -Bowser and Wario Deja vu! Well, Mario's next quest to save the princess will be in the squared circle, then!

     After months of training, the day of WrestleMania 16 came. And Mario was in the locker room chatting with Stone Cold Steve Austin until all the lights went out. When they came on, Mario was a bloody mess on the floor. Mario just took a 1-Up mushroom from his locker and he was ok.

     "The following match is the main event no holds barred gauntlet match!" Announced Howard Finkel. "Now entering, with a combined weight of 1,500 pounds, out guest commentators, King Bowser Koopa and Wario!" There was no room at the announce table for Bowser and Wario, so Bowser just spit enough fire to burn Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler to a crisp. Now, there was room.

     The SMB Theme came on. "Now entering the ring, standing at 5' 10" and weighing 200 pounds, Mario!" Mario came in to lots of pop and cheering. Mario got into the ring and watied for his first challenge. First in was Larry Koopa. After dodging his spin attack a few times, Mario got Larry into a Brainbuster, then powerbombed him. He covered him for the 3 count. Too easy. Next out was Morton Koopa Jr. Mario jumped over him when he tried to do a spear, and clotheslined him off the ropes. Mario ascended to the top turnbuckle, and tried to moonsault onto Morton, but Morton moved aside and Mario plummeted to the ground. Morton picked up Mario and piledrivered him. Morton went for the pin, but Mario reversed it into a small package and pinned Morton.

     Next out was Wendy O. Koopa. Mario had second thoughts about this one, because Mairo wouldn't beat on a girl. Well, he decided a koopa is a koopa, and went after Wendy. She threw out a poison candy ring which hit Mario. She then DDT'd Mario and went to chock him with a candy ring, but Mario recovered, and dropkicked Wendy, sending the candy ring into her mouth. She was choking on it, and submitted to Mario. Next up was Iggy Koopaa. He came in very quickly and ascended to the top turnbuckle and hit Mario with a shooting star press. Ouch. Iggy picked up the dazed Mario, and spinebustered him. Mario is aching now, and gets picked up again. Mario comes to, and runs up to Lenny and pulls of a hurracarana. Mario then pins Iggy.

     Next out, Roy Koopa. Roy comes in, and puts Mario in a bear hug. Mario can barely breathe, but wiggles out of the bear hug. He runs off the ropes and clotheslines Roy. He pickes up Roy, and tries to Piledrive him, but Roy reverses it to a back body drop. Roy is lating on the ground, and Mario ascends to the top turnbuckle again. Roy gets up, and Mario does a top rope hurracarana to Roy! But it's reversed to a powerbomb, causeing great pain to Mario. Roy goes for the pin, but gets a 2 count. Mario dropkicks Roy, and his sunglasses fall off. While he bends over to pick them up, Mario pulls off a crucifix and pins Roy.

     Next out is Lemmy Koopa, coming in bouncing on a ball. Comes in and throws it at Mairo. It bounces off his head (like that really hurts) and Lemmy goes to sidewalk slam Mario. Mario is on the ground and looks like he's hurting. Lemmy gets him up and hits a low blow to Mario. While Mario is hunched over, Lemmy hits a famouser. Mario is down. Lemmy goes for the pin, but Mario miraculously kicks out. Mario sees the ball in the corner, and jumps onto it, bouncing off real high. Mario comes down, and hits Lemmy with an unexpected kamikaze headbutt! Mario goes for the pin, and gets the fall on Lemmy. Next and last out is Ludwig von Koopa. Being probably the oldest Koopaling, he is more like an adult koopa. Proving this, he spits a blast of fire at Mario's face! Ouch! Mairo is lying in the corner in terrible pain, or is he? He's getting a fireflower out of his gym bag in the corner, and now Mario changes into his white and red outfit! Fire Mario shoots about 10 fireballs at Ludwig, and goes for his finisher, the Mario Master-he jumps up when Ludwig jumps, and hits him with a spinning facebuster! Amazing! Mario goes for the pin and the crowd yells all at once, 1-2-3! Mario wins!

     But not so fast, Bowser runs into the ring, and hits Mario with a chair. Wario runs in and drags Mario out of the ring to the Spanish announce table, and powerbombs Mario right through it! Bowser follows with several fire blasts to Mario! Bowser holds Mario up to the steel ring steps and Wario hits Mairo with his patented body slam charge! After numerous hits and bumps to Mario with the ring bell, chairs, the steel steps, the announce tables, more chairs, a baseball bat, a hockey stick, still more chairs, the Tiatan Tron, a bag of popcorn, and even more chairs, Mario is left laying in the ring, while Bowser and Wario climb to two of the top turnbuckles, setting up for a double splash. All of the sudden, over the sound speakers, the sound of breaking glass is heard, and Stone Cold Steve Austin is headed for the ring, in dismay, Bowser and Wario stare at Austin, forgetting about Mario, who is coming back to consciousness int he ring. As Austin approaches, Mario gets up, and runs off the ropes in the ring, knocking Wario and Bowser off the turnbuckles and landing them back in the ring! Austin enters the ring, and hits both Bowser and Wario with Stone Cold Stunners!!!!!!!!!!!! Stone cold leaves the ring for a second, but comes back with a giant bulldozer, and hauls away both Wario and Bowser! Finally, back in the ring, Austin and Mario celebrate with a couple of Stevewisers (Beers). Peach comes down the entrance ramp, and kisses Mario and Austin. She also has a couple of Stevewisers. She and Mario go back home, and wish goodbye and good luck to Austin.

     NOW THAT'S HOW MARIO TRAINED FOR SUPER SMASH BROS.!!!!!!! The End

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