Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"! It's the show that makes all the Super Smash Stadium spinoffs look good! Now here's your host, the Great Saiyaman!
(We open to the set. Voice and Saiyaman are already there as fake applause plays.)
Saiyaman: Hello everyone and welcome to...hey, why are we using canned applause this time?
Voice: Look around you.
(Saiyaman looks around to find no one is in the audience.)
Saiyaman: What the heck? Where is everyone?
Voice: They heard something and left.
Saiyaman: What?! There was a whole crowd of ten this time! What could have they heard that would make everyone get up and leave?
(Suddenly, a random guy comes running out.)
Guy: Please, please, oddly-dressed sir, you've got to help me!
Saiyaman: What's the problem?
Guy: All I said was "You know, X-Box may not be all bad if it's so popular", and now there's an angry mob chasing me with pitchforks and torches!
Saiyaman: Oh geez....Go hide over there! (Points to the broom closet.)
Guy: Thank you, sir!
Voice: You realize we're dead men if anyone finds out about this.
Saiyaman: Relax, Voice. I'm a superhero doing his job. They can't blame me for that.
(The guy hides in the closet, just as an angry mob bearing pitchforks and torches runs in.)
Guy in group: Have you seen a X-Box supporter run in here?
Saiyaman:(lying) Yeah, blasted the dude to bits. Say, since he's gone,
why not stay and watch the show?
Note from GG: He won't be riding the Flying Nimbus anytime soon.
Crowd: Okay! (Gets into the stands.)
Saiyaman: Now, can we continue? So, welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", where people get fifteen minutes of fame by trying out for the dream position of SP-ship. We're running behind, so let's just bring out the contestant, Incardine!
(Incardine walks to real appluase and sits in the guest chair.)
Incardine: Nice show.
Saiyaman: Thank you. You know the rules?
Incardine: Yes, or I wouldn't have sent in that application.
Saiyaman: Ouch, your logic hurts my noggin.
Voice: For those who don't know, I'll explain. Contestants are tested on Knowledge, Creativity, and fighting and don't get anything.
Saiyaman: Wait, Voice. The prize today is an ice fishing kit! (Pulls it out.)
Incardine: That's...just...a rusty saw...
Voice: I'm worried about this show.
Saiyaman: The other half...(Pulls out a decent fishing rod.)
Incardine: Hey, that's not a bad rod.
Voice: This doesn't look good, Saiyaman.
Note from GG: I have to agree with the Voice.
Saiyaman: Later, Voice. Tell us a little about yourself.
Incardine: Well, I'm the ruler of a castle in the middle of millions of dimensions that I can access at any time.
Saiyaman: Cool. Well, let's get started and play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!
(Lights dim and dramatic music plays.)
Incardine: Oh, nice.
Saiyaman: Thank you. As usual, we'll start with Knowledge! Ready?
Voice: Too bad, we're starting anyway!
Saiyaman: How many fingers am I holding up?
Incardine: What kind of a question is that? Ok, three.
Voice: What is Mario's last name?
Saiyaman: What's Voice's real name?
Voice: Hey, that's unfair!
Saiyaman: You tried to expose my secret identity last episode! Don't give my any of that...
Incardine: Um, guys? The show?
Saiyaman: Fine, that question doesn't count. What names has VGW gone under working at the Stadium?
Incardine: VGW, VGWarrior, and Dark Horse.
Voice: Who won Match 57?
Saiyaman: What happened to the old message board.
Incardine: Knight blew it up.
Saiyaman: You passed, man. Now for you to creativly solve this problem. There's a light bulb in the next room, but you have three switches in front of you, labeled one, two and three. Two of them are duds, but you don't know which ones. Looking into the room with the bulb once, how can you tell which switch turns on the light?
(Incardine thinks for a moment. I mean, you'd have to, these aren't easy.)
Incardine: Flip switch one on then off, then flip switch two and look.
Saiyaman: How would that prove the correct switch?
Incardine: If the light is on, it's switch two. If the bulb is off and feels cold, it's switch three since it was never flipped. If the bulb is off and feels warm, it's switch one because it was on recently.
Saiyaman: I'm getting the word from the judges...they want nachos...
Note from GG: So do I.
Saiyaman: and you pass. On to the Battle!
(Incardine leaves for the arena.)
Voice: You all know how this works. The guys must win all three battles with only two lives and no items.
Saiyaman: Here are his B moves...
B-Normal: Charged Ice Beam (Samus' B-Normal attack, but held further out
in front while charging, and it fires as a beam rather than a sphere)
B-Smash: Ice storm (Like Sheik's needle throw, but it charges a little faster and the individual Ice needles are visible)
B-Up: Double Shockwave: Incardine launches up a fair distance (about as much as Ness' second jump) with a shockwave below him, then sends one stright up (not slowing him down) Niether deals out TOO much damage, but they send the opponent in the opposite direction a little... VERY frustrating at times.
B-Down: Ice Barrier. A wall forms in front of Incardine, blocking movement and attacks for about five seconds, or until it takes 25 damage. He can charge it to make it last longer. If used in the air, it drops quickly and deals out average damage on landing, but shatters immedaitely.
Saiyaman: This could be a chilling battle! (Laughs.)
Voice: You're an idiot.
Saiyaman: And you're a coward for hiding in your booth up there.
Saiyaman: Again, no dead foes were chosen, so the arena is Final Destination. May I remind contestants that dead people can be selected. Here are the fighters.
Round 1: Luigi
Round 2: Ness
Round 3: Link
Voice: Incardine's battle initals are IN. Incardine teleports in an ice crystal and Luigi has jumped out of his warp pipe, so let's begin!
***Begin Corny Intro***
Note from GG: MOVIE SIGN!
Voice: Ladies and gentlemen, children who snuck in...
Saiyaman: Super Smash Stadium brings you...
Voice: THE INVISIBLE VOICE, VOICE!
Saiyaman: THE DBZ HERO, THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!
Saiyaman: Ha ha ha... For the forty in attendence...
Voice: And for the seventy watching worldwide...
Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME! (Copyright Saiyaman 2002.)
***End Corny Intro***
Voice: Incardine is charging the Charged Ice Beam!
Saiyaman: Luigi rushes toward Incardine and throws some fireballs!
Voice: Incardine stops charging and rolls under the fireballs, but is hit by the last one.
Saiyaman: Incardine then throws Luigi to the left and follows up with an Ice Storm!
Voice: Incardine sets up the Ice Barrier to buy him time to finish charging the Charged Ice Beam!
Saiyaman: JUST as he finishes charging, the Barrier breaks and Luigi gets him with the Luigi Cyclone!
Voice: Incardine throws Luigi again and shoots him with the fully charged Charged Ice Beam! Let's check the stats...
IN: 24% L: 45%
Saiyaman: Luigi throws out the Green Missile, but Incardine dodges and responds by dropping an Ice Barrier on Luigi's head!
Luigi: That-a hurts...
Voice: Incardine follows up with a low smash and a couple of punches.
Saiyaman: It's really looking bad for Luigi! Incardine throws Luigi again and fires the Ice Storm!
Voice: Luigi fires a couple fireballs, but Incardine jumps over them and gets Luigi with a Meteor Smash
Sephiroth: Meteor is smashing? Where?
Saiyaman: Wrong meteor, you idiot. Get lost. (Throws Sephiroth out of the studio.)
Voice: We need better security. Curses, we've missed a lot of fighting!
IN: 30% L: 105%
Saiyaman: It's the end! Incardine throws Luigi off, but Luigi trying to come back with the Green Missile! A Charged Ice Beam stops him however! Luigi's out!
Voice: No time for a break, however, as Ness has just appeared on the right side of the arena and is charing the PK Flash!
Saiyaman: An Ice Storm stops Ness from charging!
Voice: Ness fires off the PK Thunder, but Incardine shoots him with a weak Charged Ice Beam!
Saiyaman: Incardine is using another Ice Storm, but Ness is ready with the PSI Magnet, which heals all his damage!!
IN: 30% N: 0%
Voice: Incardine is rushing into battle and gets Ness with a punch! He follows up with a throw, then hits Ness in mid-air!
Saiyaman: Ness lands and uses the PK Fire!
Voice: Incardine is trapped in the flames! Ness smacks him with his smash attack sending him flying over the edge!
Saiyaman: Incardine returns with a double jump and hits Ness with the Double Shockwave!
Voice: As he lands, Incardine throws some rapid punches and kicks Ness away! He follows Ness and drops an Ice Barrier!
Saiyaman: As Ness gets up from that last attack, Incardine throws him down and hits him with Double Shockwave! What a comeback!
IN: 51% N: 68%
Voice: Ness refuses to give up, hitting Incardine as he comes down!
Saiyaman: Incardine hits Ness up with a upward smash, then hits him in mid-air with the Meteor Smash! Ness is knocked back while Incardine charges up the Charged Ice Beam!
Voice: Ness rolls back up as Incardine fires the Charged Ice Beam at full power! Ness can't dodge in time and is sent flying out!
Saiyaman: Link leaps into action now, but Incardine is ready with a flurry of punching and kicking! Link's damage builds up fast, but he rolls out of it and uses the Boomerang!
Voice: It connects and Incardine is knocked down! He gets back up and uses the Ice Barrier!
Saiyaman: Link goes about to breaking the barrier, but Incardine used it as a trap! He grabs Link as soon as the barrier is broken, smacks him a few times and throws him to the right!
IN: 60% L: 37%
Voice: Incardine throws out the Ice Storm on Link for a couple good hits, but Link fires a arrow at him in retaliation!
Saiyaman: Incardine starts charging the Charged Ice Beam, but Link throws a bomb!
Voice: Incardine simply rolled away to dodge that.
Saiyaman: Link dashes in with his sword, but Incardine jumps and dodges, using Double Shockwave on Link as he passed overhead!
Voice: Link is really ticked off now! He uses the Spinning Sword Attack on Incardine!
Saiyaman: Incardine simply uses being knocked back to finish charging the Charged Ice Beam!
IN: 72% L: 53%
Voice: Link throws the Boomerang, but Incardine jumps over it!
Saiyaman: Incardine rushes at Link and hits him with a kick, then throws him up!
Voice: Link retaliates with a downard stab!
Saiyaman: Incardine fires the Charged Ice Beam at Link, sending him flying over to the left!
Voice: Incardine uses the Ice Storm to prevent Link from coming back! He's the winner!
THE WINNER IS...INCARDINE!
Incardine: W00T! PH33R MI M4D SKILLZ!
Saiyaman: Another person leaves satisfied. Well, tune in next time for...
Guy in Closet: Can I come out now? (Peeks out of closet.)
Guy in Crowd: The evil X-Box fan! Traitor, you harbor the enemy!
Saiyaman: No, no, he just has an opinion, that's all! You can't kill him for...
Crowd: GET THEM! (Rushes at stage.)
Saiyaman: AAHHHHH! RUN FOR MY LIFE! Turbo Speed!
(Saiyaman zips out with his Turbo Speed technique, while the X-Box fan runs away with the crowd after both of them, leaving just Voice and Incardine.)
Guy: (In distance) I just said it MAY not be all bad!! I still prefer Nintendo!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Saiyaman: (In distance) RUN AWAY! Wait, I can fly! FLY AWAY! (Flies off,
though still being chased.)
Note from GG: First, Capt. Ginyu. Now, Capt. Churro. If he starts imitating Capt. Falcon, I'll quit this gig
Voice: Guess we'd better wrap up the show now.
Incardine: What about my ice fishing kit?
Voice: It's in the mail. Again, I'll review how to apply...
(The rules appear on the blue screen.)
If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required.You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.
Voice: You think he'll be back by next episode?
Incardine: If those people catch him, I wouldn't bet on seeing him ever again.
Voice: Well, thanks for joining us on "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"! I'm the Voice, saying good-bye.
Incardine: Adios, amigos!