Match #94

The Question:

The Fighters: Wario vs. Bowser vs. Ganondorf vs. Tron
The Arena: Peach's Castle
Item Ratio: Very Low
Time Limit: Five Minutes

Saiyaman: Hello, everyone! Know what time it is?

175: Oh yeah, time for me to change my socks.

Saiyaman: Oh, thank you so much for jamming that image into my brain.

175: My pleasure. Now, let's go to today's backstory. (Inserts the tape.)

(On the tape, we see the cafe where Wario is talking to Bowser.)

Wario: I'm-a telling you, Bowser, your wealth has-a nothing on me! I'm the richer one!

Bowser: Bah, watch your mouth, lard breath! When Peach is mine, I'll have the whole Mushroom Kingdom and more wealth than you can ever imagine!

(Tron walks up to them.)

Tron: Please, you two aren't that great! As an experienced pirate, I think I know more about the acquisition of wealth than you do.

(Ganondorf, sitting nearby, leans over.)

Ganondorf: I doubt that. I've seen your track record, Tron, and you lose more wealth than anyone else due to your own ineptitude. As the leader of a gang of thieves, I know how to acquire money!

Bowser: You lair! You don't even rob anyone!

Tron: I only lose that money because it goes to making robots!

Ganondorf: The ones you keep letting get blown up?

Wario: Bah, I get more dough in one day than-a the rest of you can get in a lifetime!

Bowser: How about we settle this way we always do around here?

Tron: Sounds fine to me. I'll see you all in the arena!

Ganondorf: I can't expect any of you to put up a challenge, but I'm in.

(Thus, the tape ends.)

175: And there we go. The match is a Coin Battle five minutes in length. Our arena choice is Peach's Castle and the item ratio is very low.

Saiyaman: Say, didn't you get any greedy characters to help commentate this match like I asked you to?

175: The only one I could think of was Scrooge McDuck. Do you know how many hoops I'd have to jump through just to get him to do a match? Also, we used all the greedy fighters for the match.

Saiyaman: Good point. Wait, what about Waluigi?

175: ...oops.

Saiyaman: Just as well. I'm not really sure he'd want to do a match anyways. C'mon, let's get this match going. Ladies and gentlemen...

175: Boys and girls...

Saiyaman: Money-grubbers of all ages...

175: SSS brings you free with your popcorn...




175: Now, for the fourty-nine thousand in attendance...

Saiyaman: And for the two-hundred fifteen thousand watching worldwide...


Saiyaman: I wish. The combats quickly pair off with Bowser and Wario attacking each other with Tron and Gannondorf going at it! Wario seems to have the early advantage with his Super Jump Punch while Ganondorf and Tron are evenly matched!

175: Bowser, refusing to be out-muscled by Wario, grabs him and throws him downward, sending Wario skyward, but landing on Bowser with a Butt Stomp! On the other half of the field, Tron slams Ganondorf with her Bonne Strike!

Saiyaman: Coins are going everywhich way now and the contestants are scampering to pick them up! While Ganondorf is grabbing some coins, he obtains some more by getting Tron with his Wizard's Foot!

175: Bowser lets loose with his Fire Breath, frying Wario up against the castle tower and sending coins right to him! Too bad his fire power just ran out, leaving Wario to Smash him off the edge!

Saiyaman: Bowser comes back with the Whirling Fortress and slashes at Wario as Tron leaps over to attack them with Ganondorf in hot pursuit! Tron succeeds in gathering several of the coins dropped by Wario!

175: A red button appears on the ground, revealing three red boxes in the air! Tron smacks the closest one to reveal nothing, but Ganondorf, who took the one in the middle on the castle's top, has received a Ray Gun!

Saiyaman: Wario launches an upward Smash against both Bowser and Tron, but Ganondorf leaps down from the castle top and zaps Wario with the Ray Gun! Wario is pushed back while Bowser and Tron gather the coins knocked out of them!

W: 68%C59 Bw: 59%C51 TB: 62%C74 Gn: 54%C48 4:17

175: Wario smashes through all three of them with his Body Slam, but Ganondorf retaliates with his Wizard's Foot! Bowser slashes Wario and Ganondorf with his Koopa Claw while Tron tries her Activate!, which fails!

Saiyaman: Bowser wheels around and Smashes Tron as Wario hits Ganondorf while they're in mid-air! Ganondorf lands on part of the castle tower while Wario is attacked by Bowser's up-Smash!

175: Tron uses a running attack on Bowser and starts to smack him, only to be interrupted by Wario and his mid-air kick! Tron makes her way out with the Kubon Copter, scoring some coins from Bowser!

Saiyaman: Taking advantage of their being distracted, Ganondorf leaps down and preps a Warlock Punch! With Wario distracted by Bowser, the move connects and Wario is KOed, losing half his coin count!

175: As Wario's coins fall into the pit, Bowser slices Ganondorf with his Whirling Fortress attack, which also knocks Tron out of a Bonne Strike! He gathers up the dropped coins as Wario returns on the platform!

Saiyaman: Wario drops in on everyone with a Butt Slam, but it's time to beat feet as a Bullet Bill comes in at a 45-degree angle to the castle! In a sneaky trick, Bowser Smashes Tron off the edge before he leaves, allowing Tron to get caught the explosion and get KOed off the top of the arena!

175: Wario and Ganondorf are fighting again with Ganondorf using his Ray Gun to keep Wario at bay, but the Ray Gun just ran out of ammo, so Ganondorf chucks it at Wario, who shields and uses his Dragon Hat!

Saiyaman: Tron comes back on the revival platform while Bowser attempts his Bowser Bomb on Wario, only to have it dodged! Ganondorf uses his Gerudo Dragon on Bowser with Wario coming in with a running attack!

W: 18%D1C28 Bw: 104%C84 TB: 0%D1C51 Gn: 91%C62 3:18

175: Tron starts attacking the other fighters with some strong punches, using her temporary invincibility to grab the loose coins with no problems! Bowser manages to sneak away from her attack while her invincibility wears off, then burns them all with his Fire Breath!

Saiyaman: Ganondorf leaps out of the flames and attacks Bowser with his Wizard's Foot, knocking him out of the attack! Taking his chance, Wario wheels around and uses a Smash attack on Tron!

175: Bowser unleashes his low Smash on Ganondorf, knocking him into the sky, then follows up with a leaping attack! As that happens, Tron successfully uses his Activate! move on Wario, using the stun time to attack with her Bonne Strike!

Saiyaman: The leaping attack from Bowser knocks Ganondorf onto the castle tower where Bowser gets him with a Whirling Fortress, followed by an upward Smash that KOs Ganondorf! Meanwhile, Wario regains his ability to move, grabs Tron and starts punching her!

175: Bowser leaps over to Wario and Tron and attemps a Bowser Bomb, but Wario throws Tron away in time to dodge himself! Tron then uses her Smash attack on Bowser, knocking him over the edge and KOing him!

Saiyaman: Ganondorf returns on the revival platform as Tron grabs Wario and slams him into the ground! Ganondorf leaps down and slams Tron with his Gerudo Dragon attack, giving Wario time to use his Super Jump Punch on Tron!

175: Ganondorf just ran out of invincibility time, so Tron clobbers him with a running attack followed by a Rocket Punch! Ganondorf punches her back, but both fail to notice that Wario is collecting the coins that they're dropping!

Saiyaman: Bowser just came back on the revival platform, but who cares, since I'm going to toss in an item! (Throws in a barrel.) The barrel lands in on the castle tower and rolls off, breaking and revealing a Red Shell!

175: Bowser hops down and activates the shell, then leaps back onto the tower, watching the shell smack into the others and jumping out to collect their coins! Oops, looks like he hit the ground and got shell-smacked himself!

W: 42%D1C76 Bw: 10%D1C71 TB: 69%D1C84 Gn: 21%D1C52 1:47

Saiyaman: Wario and Ganondorf manage to land themselves on top of the castle onto a big green button, causing platforms to sprout over the castle! Tron and Bowser quickly hop onto the closest one, safely above the shell!

175: Ganondorf uses his Dark Dive on Wario, blowing him away! Bowser and Tron exchange blows for a bit until Bowser uses his Koopa Klaw and throws Tron to his right!

Saiyaman: Wario leaps onto the top left platform and leaps over Ganondorf, striking Bowser with a kick! Ganondorf follows them both and tries his Gerudo Dragon, but comes up short as Tron hits Wario and Bowser with her Kubon Kopter!

175: A Bullet Bill approaches, aimed dead center for the right side of the arean, so all the contestants skedaddle over to the left half as the platforms disappear! During that time, Wario Smashes Bowser!

Saiyaman: With all contestants safe from the large explosion, the fighting resumes as Wario throws a few punches to Tron! Tron smacks him and Ganondorf with her Bonne Strike while Bowser hits them all with Fire Breath as we enter the final minute of the match!

175: Ganondorf pulls off a low Smash, knocking Tron and Bowser away, then grabs the knocked-out coins! Wario jumps in and uses his Dragon Hat to get some coins from Ganondorf!

Saiyaman: Bowser pulls off his Whirling Fortress on all three of them, only to have Ganondorf uses his Dark Dive on him! Tron attempts her Activate! move, but Wario interrupts her with a throw!

W: 89%D1C106 Bw: 65%D1C98 TB: 102%D1C112 Gn: 98%D1C85 0:35

175: Wario hits Tron with a running attack and some weak blows to knock out some coins to gather, but Bowser leaps back and grabs them! Ganondorf uses his Wizard's Foot on them all, then grabs some more coins!

Saiyaman: Tron gets up and pulls off a Smash attack on Ganondorf, which sends him off the edge, but he manages to leap and grab the edge! Wario knocks Tron away with a running attack and grabs the last few coins as time runs out!

Wario: 128
Bowser: 114
Tron: 121
Ganondorf: 91


Saiyaman: Well, guess that proves it. Let's go to Navi for the interviews. Navi?

Navi: Thank you. Wario, what are your thoughts?

Wario: Wa-ha-ha, it's just-a proves how great I-a am at getting money!

Navi: Good for you. Ganondorf?

Ganondorf: Hmm, perhaps my theiving skills are lacking these days. I need some practice.

Navi: Always good to know where you can improve. How about you, Bowser?

Bowser: I'll still have it all someday! You'll see!

Navi: No lack of confidence there. Tron?

Tron: Oooooooohhh, I can't believe I came this close only to lose! I swear I'll get 'em next time!

Navi: Back to you.

175: I guess all that's left is the questions...

1. Will Wario always be the greediest around here?
2. Will Tron get even someday?
3. Would it have been worth it to get Scrooge McDuck to commentate?
4. What about Waluigi? Should he have fought?

Saiyaman: I'd have to say "no" on that third one. How could we understand through his Scottish accent?

175: Good point. Well, that wraps up everything for tonight, ladies and germs, so see you all next time!

Saiyaman: Tonight? It's still the middle of the afternoon.

175: Shush, you know I mean.

Saiyaman: (sighs.) Later.