The Question: Who is the better Earthbound fighter?
The Fighters: Ness vs. Paula
The Arena: Onnet
Item Ratio: Low
Saiyaman: Good morning, everybody. We've got another exciting match for you today!
Amber: Today, it's Ness up against Paula. Let's go the backstory. (Pops in the video tape.)
(On the tape, we see Ness talking to Paula in the lounge.)
Paula: C'mon, Ness, admit it. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have beat Mewtwo in your last match.
Ness: Was I really doing that badly?
Paula: Uh...no, I wouldn't say that...
Ness: So, you do think I did that bad!
Paula: Well, there is some room for improvement. I have seen your win record and - let's be honest - you aren't doing all that well.
Ness: All right then, I'll prove that I'm getting better! Paula, will you take me on in a match?
Paula: All right, if you insist...
(The tape ends.)
Amber: That was surprisingly civilized.
Saiyaman: Hey, that's not a bad thing. Since it's an Earthbound character matchup, the arena for this one is Onnet. Item ratio has been set to low with all items on. The life count is three and the damage ratio is normal. Also, we're expecting clear skies this morning and a light breeze at 1-2 mph to the northwest, with a 30% chance of rain in the afternoon.
Saiyaman: Thank you. Ah, I see Ness and Paula have arrived in the arena, so let's start 'er up!
Amber: Ladies and gentlemen...
Saiyaman: Boys and girls...
Amber: Mr. Saturns of all ages...
Saiyaman: SSS is bringing you...
Amber: THE NIFTY CATGIRL, AMBER!
Saiyaman: THE GOOFY-POSER, SAIYAMAN!
Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!
Amber: And now, for the sixteen-hundred in attendance...
Saiyaman: And for the twenty-thousand watching worldwide...
Amber: IT'S SMASHING TIME!
Saiyaman: Ness and Paula begin with a few punches, but both pull back and launch a special move, Ness using PK Fire and Paula using PK Ice! Both attacks cancel each other out, but Ness rushes in and slams Paula!
Amber: Paula grabs Ness, smacks him once and throws him into the ground! Ness gets back up, throws Paula to the right, knocking her into the building!
Saiyaman: Paula pulls off a PK Ice on Ness, doing some damage, then rushes in and knocks him down with her running attack! Ness gets back up and whips out a quick Smash attack on her, then leaps back and prepares a PK Flash!
Amber: Paula uses her PK Thunder Omega to knock Ness out of powering up his move, but it's too bad she failed to see that speeding car coming! As she gets slapped around the arena floor, Ness leaps down and hits with his PK Fire!
Saiyaman: Paula leaps out of the PK Fire and comes down on Ness with a aireal attack, then leaps back up to the awnings! Ness follows, only to get a Smash attack to the kisser as soon as his head got above the awning!
Amber: Ness throws off a PK Thunder, but Paula leaps down towards him and attacks, knocking him out of the attack! Ness is hit a few more times, but he manages to regain his composure and throws Paula away!
Saiyaman: Paula gets back up in time to recieve a running attack from Ness, slamming her into the wall! She pulls herself back up and shields herself against a Smash from Ness, then throws a PK Ice, which hits!
Amber: Both of them leaps towards the roof, avoiding a passing car down below, then continue to fight with a few punches! For a moment, Ness appears to have gained the upper hand, but Paula grabs him and slams him into the ground!
N: 74% Pa: 69%
Saiyaman: We need to spice this up a bit. (Tosses in an item container.) The item container has plopped itself over on the top awning in the middle of the arena as both fighters make a leap for it!
Amber: As they do, Ness hits Paula and knocks her back, allowing him to get to the container! He smacks it open with a punch, revealing a Beam Sword, which he grabs and leaps down to put to good use on Paula, slicing twice!
Saiyaman: Paula doesn't take too kindly to that, slamming through Ness with a running attack, then turning around and Smashing him! Ness gets back up, but as Paula rolls back to avoid an attack, he powers up a Smash attack with enough force to extend the saber to reach Paula with his attack!
Amber: Paula fall down into the center of the arena, with Ness in hot pursuit! Unfortunately for him, Paula leaps up to avoid the car that Ness didn't see, resulting him getting smacked around the arena!
Saiyaman: Paula decides to take advantage of the situation by hopping down and grabbing Ness! She throws him upward, then charges a PSI Rockin while he's the top of the awning! As he gets up, she unleashes the attack, which KO's him!
Amber: Ness returns on the revival platform and immediately makes a break for Paula, who runs away to the left side of the arena! Instead of chasing her, Ness sends out a PK Thunder and hits Paula with it while she's running away!
Saiyaman: Paula is now heading back towards Ness, whose invincibility has worn off, and uses a PK Ice on him, but Ness shields himself with the PSI Magnet and absorbs the attack! Ness then grabs Paula and knocks her out of the arena with an upward toss, followed by a mid-air attack!
Amber: Now, Paula returns to the arena and she pulls out her PSI Rockin, leaving Ness running for the right side of the arena! However, he doubles-back and does a mid-air dodge, allowing him to dodge the explosion!
N: 0%D1 Pa: 0%D1
Saiyaman: Ness' dodge leaves him to land in front of Paula, who quickly hits him with a Smash as he hits the ground! Ness lands on his feet and smacks Paula with a quick PK Fire, then runs forward and smacks her!
Amber: Paula hits Ness with a few punches and throws him to the left, but Ness recovers as he hits the ground and leaps towards Paula, attempting a leaping attack! Paula simply rolls back and hits Ness with a running attack!
Saiyaman: Ness and Paula trade a few blows, but Ness blocks some with his shield, then throws Paula! Paula takes the landing pretty rough and gets it even worse when Ness Smashes her as she gets up!
Amber: Paula lands a little ways from Ness, leaping onto the roof of the building and attacking with PK Thunder Omega! Ness fails to dodge in time and takes the hit, but still manages to get on the roof of the building!
Saiyaman: A car passes harmlessly between the two fighters as Ness leaps toward Paula and hits with a aireal attack! Paula counters by tossing Ness onto the overhead awning and using PK Thunder Omega!
Amber: Ness falls back down onto Paula, smacking her with a kick as he lands! Paula is knocked up a bit, but Ness hits her with an upward Smash as she comes down!
Saiyaman: Paula seems to be getting quite mad at this, as she throws Ness off the building onto the right side! She then sends out a PSI Rockin after him, but Ness manages to get up and leap away in time!
N: 57%D1 Pa: 69%D1
Amber: Ness gets Paula with a leaping attack as he's avoiding the PSI Rockin, then turns around and grabs her! Paula breaks free after taking two hits, then hits Ness with a weak Smash attack!
Saiyaman: Ness almost falls off, but grabs the edge and attacks Paula as he pulls himself, but Paula dodged it by leaping over him and attacking from behind! Paula falls down onto the ground, only to take a car to the kisser!
Amber: Ness is more than happy to jump down and Smash her as she's recovering, but Paula happily returns the favor by using her PK Ice and Smashing him! Ness grabs Paula and throws her into the ground!
Saiyaman: Paula leaps back up, hitting Ness as she leaps, landing on the lower awning! Instead of leaping up again, Ness quickly launches a PK Thunder, which hits!
Amber: Paula leaps over to the left building with Ness following her, but once she gets there, she turns around and whips out a Smash attack! Ness, however, manages to midair-dodge the attack and uses his own Smash!
Saiyaman: Paula is knocked down by the blow, falling off the building with Ness in pursuit! Paula manages to land on her feet, but Ness grabs her and tosses her off the side of the arena, resulting in a KO!
Amber: And here she comes back on the revival platform, charging straight towards Ness! Ness meets her on the top of the building, leaping over her, but she hits him with PK Thunder Omega!
Saiyaman: Ness still manages to use his double jump to leap to the top awning in the arena center with Paula in hot pursuit! However, as Paula reaches the awning, her invincibility wears off, so Ness wheels around and starts punching her!
Amber: Paula strikes with a PK Ice, stunning Ness long enough to grab, hit and throw him! Ness goes flying upward, but as Paula tries to smack him in mid-air, he leans enough to the left to land on the ground, albeit a bit roughly!
Saiyaman: Paula follows, slamming her feet into him as she hits the ground! Ness goes up into the air, but comes down on the end of one of Paula's upward Smashes, leaving him in prime smacking position!
Amber: Paula tries to grab Ness again, but this time, Ness rolls back and uses his PK Fire on her, buying him time to use the PK Flash! Paula gets out of the PK Fire, only to be hit by a medium-strength PK Flash!
N: 118%D1 Pa: 41%D2
Saiyaman: Ness smacks Paula with a running attack, but Paula manages to grabs Ness and throws him upward! Ness flies fairly high, but Paula leaps up and smacks him upward in the air, sending him out of the arena!
Amber: Ew, he hit the commentator's booth. Where's the window cleaner?
Saiyaman: Don't worry, he's already back on the arena, thanks to the revival platform. Now, they're...oh, he smeared the glass. I think I can still see well enough to commentate, as Ness has just missed with a running attack and was hit by a leaping Paula!
Amber: Luckily, I can still see good out my side. Ness has just used a Smash attack on Paula, but Paula countered with a throw and slams into him with a running attack! You know, I think we're overdue for an item.
Saiyaman: Your turn.
Amber: Sure. (Throws in a barrel.) That barrel landed on top of the awning above the rightmost house, with Paula grabbing it and throwing it straight up before Ness can reach it. Ness keeps back as the barrel smashes open, revealing a Super Scope!
Saiyaman: Ness and Paula both rush in to grab it, but Ness gets to it first and chucks it at Paula, stunning her long enough for him to chuck her upwards and regrab the Super Scope!
Amber: Paula manages to hit Ness as she lands back on the ground, but Ness keeps her busy with a PK Fire while he charges a blast! Unfortunately for him, Paula activates the PSI Magnet, absorbing his attack and his charge shot, which he stopped short!
Saiyaman: Paula then runs in and starts punching Ness, who tosses the Super Scope away and Smashes her! Paula is knocked back, but gets back up and sends out a PSI Rockin towards Ness, who has picked up the Super Scope again!
Amber: Ness fires off a weak charge shot with the Super Scope, knocking Paula upwards and cancelling the PSI Rocking, buying him time to unleash a fully-charged shot on Paula, KOing her for good!
THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...NESS!
Saiyaman: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Ness has managed to pull out a surprise win!
Amber: Let's go to Navi, shall we?
Navi: Thanks, Amber. Ness, as today's big winner, how do you feel?
Ness: I feel great! It makes me feel better than I ever have before!
Navi: So will we. Paula, what are your thoughts?
Paula: Dang, guess I'm going to have to get better at this style of fighting if I'm going to win around here. I could've taken him if he hadn't gotten that Super Scope.
Navi: Back to you.
Saiyaman: Now, we must have questions...
Amber: I don't know about you as a weatherman. You don't seem like the type.
Saiyaman: Yeah, but it's still funny. So long, everyone!