Match #83

The question: Who's the better fighter outside the cockpit?

Fighters for Eagleland-Fourside
Player 1 Player 2

Welcome back to the SSS, folks! Swordblade here... I know it's been a while since our last match, so we decided to try bringing back Kyle and VG's old commentary style to liven things up around here. Enjoy, and be sure to tell us what you think!

The Background:

    In a couple of the past matches, we've seen a small amount of Fox and Falco barhopping and living it up. Well, this night they both happen to have gotten REALLY tanked, and gotten thrown out of the Fourside Café/Bar after picking a fight with a jukebox... When told that they should pick on someone their own size, they deicded to start beating the snot out of each other, and make a wager on the winner. The SSS commentary crew was brought in, and the Fourside skyline was set up for the no-item 5-minute coin match, with the winner taking home the other's latest paycheck. So now, with out further ado... YOU GET TO SMASHING!

    Both players start by hopping onto the right side of the Monitoli Building. Falco unleashes a rabid flurry of kicks to rack up plenty of quick coins, but it only took Fox a couple of shots to send Falco down the pit, and thanks to his blazing fall time, Falco couldn't recover. 4:47 Fox 70% $21 Falco 0% $24

    After Falco comes back, a huge beatfest commences on the Dept. Store (right building) roof. Coins are flying, but the fighters are'nt; neither seem to want to leave the ground, resorting to normal and Smash Attacks. Fox resists getting Smashed out twice, but Falco finally sends him out with a Split kick, then halves his money again by missing a drill kick immediately after jumping from the lift. He neve even stopped flashing... 4:11 Fox 0% $26 Falco 104% $131

    Fox comes back, and continues the assault on Falco, but Falco just keeps coming back to the stage. Fox winds up SDing AGAIN when Falco blocks his return aerial attack, then Falco winds up SDing trying the same jump=-kick attack on Fox- while he's still flashing. Brilliant. 3:50 Fox 0% $32 Falco 0% $79

    Reversals, dodge, and grabs galore as the two continue to smack the living daylights out of each other, alternating between the Monitoli Building and the Dept. Store. Fox SDs again on the Spin-Kick to Hell, but after about 2-3 seperate ND, he finally sends Falco off with a Roundhouse Kick Smash. 3:05 Fox 49% $78 Falco 0% $88

    UFO SIGHTING!!! Well, at least it appeared over the Fighters on the right side of the stage, and seems to be a bad omen for Falco, as Fox smacks him around a heavy amount both on and under the slippery disc before throing him off the stage and Spiking him with the Split Kick. Falco reappears, and the two engage in some heavy hand-to-hand biatchslapping. The UFO finally flies off, and Fox jumps over Monitoli in a single bound and lands gracefully on the floating platform. Falco wasn't so lucky- he missed the platform, the building, and the rest of the stage. 2:32 Fox 115% $151 Falco 0% $51

    The duel moves back to the Monitoli Building, and it's a shootout as both fighters brandish their Blasters and blast away. Falco tires of this, hoever, and shows Fox his disapproval with a Flipkick to the face that results in a star KO. Both fighters play Spider-man after Fox's return, fighting it out on the left side of Monitoli, but when both lose their grip, only Falco makes it back to the stage. 2:00 Fox 0% $44 Falco 74% $112

    The Spider-Duel continues, with bronze coins flying everywhere from multitudes of Drill Kicks and Lightning Kicks. Lots of aerial attacks, but neither gets a KO... Fox SDs again, but Falco suceeds in SDing himself 3 times within 25 seconds- while trying to Drill Kick. Does he not get the idea that it's suicide? 1:00 Fox 37% $86 Falco 0% $40

    We're into the last minute of the match, and both fighters have pulled out all the stops, both going into a frenzy of kicks and Blaster shots while on the UFO and the Monitoli building. Nearly KOs Fox with a Roundhouse, but Fox recovers and the kicking bonanza continues on the Hospital building and platform. 0:22 Fox 141% $145 Falco 75% $153

    After a brief shootout, both move back and forth from the platform bot the building to the hospital, trying to make the other make a mistake- which is exactly what Falco does, missing with the Drill Kick to Hell again. This gives Fox a big lead with little time left, but he has a LOT of damage... 0:09 Fox 153% $147 Falco 0% $86

    Falco comes back after Fox, but Fox makes the critical mistake of attacking the Bird of Prey in the air! Falco Bicycle Kicks Fox into the into the middle of the Dusty Dunes Desert... without enough time to even return to the platform! TIME!


Final Stats: Fox Falco
KOs 4 5
Falls 5 4
SDs 3 5
Coins 74 101

This game's winner is... FALCO!


Upon returning to ground level, an inebriated Fox started complaining about an "unfair fight" to the judges, but was ignored until he threw up in one's lap. Meanwhile Falco celebrated his win with a victory lap in his Arwing... which he then crashed into the middle of Dusty Dunes Desert.

What did you think of the match?

1: Which is better, the paragraph style or the script style?
2: Will Falco's ego get even bigger now that he has defeated the leader of Team StarFox?
3: Should the SSS send Fox and Falco to rehab?