The Question: Do boys have the cooler toys, or do girls?
Fighters for the Fountain of Dreams in Rainbow Resort
(a toy dinosaur pops up onto the commentating booth counter)
Dinosaur: Hello there boys and girls! It's a happy day here in Super Smash Stadium,
wouldn't you say so Mr. Choo Choo?
(a train jumps up next to it)
Mr. Choo Choo: I agree Dewey. It's a sunshiney, happy, beautiful day today! I feel
like singing and dancing it's so pretty outside! *starts dancing around on the counter*
Dewey Dinosaur: YAY! *starts dancing too*
(an Optimus Prime figure jumps on the counter and kicks away on the train)
Mr. Choo Choo: OH NOOOOOOO!!! *falls apart on the floor*
Dewey: Hey! What's the big idea Mr. Meanie?
Optimus: *a hand reaches up and presses a button on his chest as lights begin flashing
on his armor* HALT! You're no match for the Autobots, Decepticon scum! *shoots a
foam disc at Dewey*
Dewey: OUCHIES! *falls off the counter and onto the floor*
Optimus: *the hand presses another button* Hahaha! It's off to the scrap heap with
Flip: *slowly stands up and appears behind the counter holding Optimus, laughing
along with him* Hahaha!
Goom: *slowly appears next to Flip, spitting out the pieces to the broken dinosaur
and train toys* Thanks a lot. These were my favorites... Why'd you have to go ahead
and break them like that, jackass?
Flip: Because it's our toy fight here at SSS!
Goom: Toy... fight? You mean, like a cock fight, but with toys?
Flip: No. It's a fight between our toy fighters here at the Stadium!
Goom: Geno? He's the only one we have... Everyone else
is a bounty hunter, working man, or some form of a Sanrio ripoff.
Flip: We also have Peach fighting as well. Seeing as she
looks and acts pretty much like your average doll, we threw her into the fight as
well. We're also introducing Tron Bonne from The Misadventures
of Tron Bonne and Ray MK
II from Custom Robo.
Goom: Who the hell came up with this match? Peach has
nothing to do with toys... neither does Tron.
Flip: Well, we're having a battle between girls' toys and boys' toys. Since we really
only had Geno as our toy fighter, we decided to enlist
Ray so that we could have a cool Action Figure VS Action
Figure battle. But seeing as we also enlisted Tron,
and we told her she'd be an official fighter by now... it was decided to include
her in this match as well. Afterall: Gustaff, her mech suit, is kinda like a toy,
and that is what she fights in. So, anyways, we decided to do a 3 fighter
match, but figured that wasn't enough. So, we came up with the idea of Girls' Toys
VS Boys' Toys, and figured that Peach would make a nice
addition, seeing as she did look like a doll. Finally, we then teamed up the girl
fighters and the guy fighters and sent them off into this battle to see what they
Flip: ... *spins around in his chair and faces the crowd* Okay, so, with that aside,
let's introduce our guest commentators!
Flip: Damnit, I'll do it without you guys... First Up... one of those cuddly cute
things you'd love to smash with a hammer... FURBY! *reaches down, picks up a Furby,
and places it on the counter next to him*
Flip: AUGH!! Our next commentator is none other than a childhood favorite...
Teddy Ruxpin: *looking very unkempt, he walks in smoking a cigarette and scratching
his stomach* Hey there *coughs* Flip. *jumps onto the stool next to Flip*
Flip: *blank* Umm... your SSS Commentators!
Goom: *wakes up* 'ey... who won?
Flip: *hangs head in shame and pushes the button to start the battle*
Teddy: 'lright now kiddies, listen up! *coughs* This 'ere is a one-life match, set
in that er-uh place... uh... Dreamland, with the Kirby guy and stuff, you know.
*coughs* Anyways, the items are set on Normal appearance, but the only items you'll
be seeing are Flippas, Mr. Saturns, Screwballs, and those shooting things-uh-uh
*coughs violently five or six times in his hand* Aw geez... and uh... *coughs* the
fighters are comin' in right now. *takes a long puff on his cigarette*
Peach: *walks out a door from Sub-Con* Ooo! Toys? This
looks like fun!.
Tron: *gets flown down inside Gustaff by some Servbots*
Alright now sis! Let's teach G.I. Dunno and that Transformers wannabe a thing or
two about fighting!
Ray MK II: *gets shot out
of a pipe as a little cube, then unfolds itself into its normal figure* O.K.! Arms?
*shakes gun* Check. Shoulders? *shakes shoulders* Check. Armor? *looks down at armor*
Check. Boots? *kicks leg* Check and kicking humanoid ass.
Geno: *flies down from Star Whatsit and assumes himself
into the doll body* I'd rather not do this now, as I had problems with getting out
of that statue's body, but if it's a fight they want, they'll get it.
Flip: Okay... so, LET'S SMASH!
|Fighters' Damage Meters!
Flip: The match starts off with a bang as both Ray and
Geno start shooting at the two girls in the match.
Peach isn't taking to this lightly, as
Geno's Star Shot Smash is pounding her repeatedly.
Tron, on the other hand, is able to sustain the blows
from the Custom Robot's gun with the help of Gustaff, the
mech suit she's riding in.
Goom: Ms. Bonne's robot isn't even reacting to the
blows, and is now charging at Ray! Here she goes... Yes!
She's successfully grabbed the toy robot, and is having a hell of a day swinging
it around like a Raggedy Ann doll!
Tron: *screaming into her walkie talkie* Servbots!
I want you to Lock-On to the opponent, now! Gustaff, ACTIVATE!
Flip: She's sending in the Servbots! They latch onto Ray
and hold it in place while Tron steadies Gustaff's
arm cannon! While she charges, let's check out the other two contenders.
Geno isn't being attacked by Peach
at all... So, he's using this opportunity to try a Geno Whirl. If it connects properly,
Peach will suffer major damage.
Teddy: *coughs* But I dunno... the little chicky poo ain't bein' phased by the doll's
attacks. She's just standing there, while Geno glares
her down. *coughs* Something's gotta be happenin' soon!
Goom: It did! Look! Ray's been blasted back by Gustaff's
laser beam! Tron follows it up by dashing after
Ray and knocking it again and again with increasingly more
damaging blows. First a punch, then a kick, then a body slam, and now... a rocketing
fist? Whatever.. it connects and sends Ray into the great
beyond... No, wait, not that far quite yet. The robot aims his Shark Missiles upwards,
and uses the kickback to send him straight back to the arena. Good call! Mr. Saturn
appears in the arena near where it lands... and gets kicked away from
Ray's landing zone.
|Fighters' Damage Meters!
Flip: What... is going on with the two other fighters though? They're just standing
Teddy: Hey, maybe the broad thinks wood is a turn-on. She could always say, "Yeah,
my man's got wood." It's perfect! *coughs and rubs his bloodshot eyes*
Flip: Wait.. there mouths are moving... Goom, keep commentating with Teddy, while
I try and get a mic set up to hear what they're saying...
Goom: Okay, well, Tron isn't taking
Ray's return too happily. She starts firing rounds at the
robot as he hovers and dashes around her.
Ray: Nyeah nyeah! Serves you right, using a robot as big
as that. Everybody knows 12 inches is the maximum size any toy robot should be!
And just to prove that point... can your behemoth do this? *curls into a fetal position,
then opens up and throws out four little jacks*
Tron: Ahahaha! Jacks?! That's the best you've got?
I used to play jacks when I was a little girl! But now I've grown up, and I play
with big kid toys! Gustaff! FULL POWER!
Teddy: Woah.. she's one tough cutie. I'd like to play jacks with her, if ya know
what I mean. *raises his eyebrows*
Goom: Full Power? Oh, she must be using Bonne Strike! I pity Ray
MK II... Gustaff's arms transform into humongous drills,
and it dashes right into Ray and right over the jacks it
left behind. Tron is laughing at her triumph, causing
Ray to sustain well over 50% damage, just from the constant
blow of the drills. But... what she didn't calculate...
Tron: Huh? *jacks explode underneath Gustaff sending
her into the air* AHHH! I've been hit! And the spikes are sticking into Gustaff's
armor! Servbots! Do Something!!
|Fighters' Damage Meters!
Flip: Hey! I got it to work! Oh... Tron's just used
her Kobun Kopter attack, huh? Well, I got this thing to work.. let's hear what those
two are talking about...
Geno: I just can't hit your, Toadstool.
I just don't have it in me...
Goom: Geno showing emotion? Wha?! Furby: Whoopie!
Peach: I understand, Geno. We
used to be partners! I can't hurt you... Hey... *reaches out her hand* Partners?
Geno: ... *hesitantly shakes her hand* Yes...
Teddy: D'ahh... now ain't that cute? *plays "Why Can't We Be Friends?" on his tape
player* Heheheh... *coughs* Ugh...
Goom: What? What? What? They're supposed to be beating the living crap out of each
Furby: Me Hungry! Weee!
Ray: Aw man... now I'll be all alone. Oh well... *starts
firing Hornet Stingers at Tron* I can still play with
Tron: Woah woah woah! *starts firing Gustaff's machine
gun at Ray* Back off! Hey, teammate!
Peach!! Help me! Give me some cover here!
Flip: She's not going to... Her and Geno are just now
teaming up. Folks, we apparently have a new partner arrangement. It's now
Peach and Geno versus the other
two. So, let's watch!
Tron: NO WAY! *fires a rocket arm at
Ray, then turns around and starts firing at
Peach* You can't betray me you little traitor! Sure, we
never actually fought together, but that's really cheap of you to ditch me!! So
eat lead, missy!
Goom: Tron is firing at Peach,
but Geno saves the day! He jumps in the way of the shots,
taking all the damage. But look out Geno! Another person
who was betrayed is coming back too! Ray fires a Shark
Missile at Geno, blowing him backwards and over the edge.
He does a Geno Boost to get back up, but he misses saving Peach
this time, who gets shot repeatedly by Tron's blows.
|Fighters' Damage Meters!
Teddy: Hey... lemme toss in an item 'ere... *grabs an egg and throws it in*
Flip: The egg appears in the arena, and is immediately snagged and cracked open
by the recovering Geno. It's a Flipper, and
Geno tosses it right in the center of the arena, knocking
back Tron, and giving little room for
Ray to fire. Geno launches a
Geno Whirl on the two, and hitting them both pretty heavily.
Peach jumps up, hovers, and lands behind Ray, grabbing
the toy robot and smacking him around a few times. She then tosses him back withe
her patented "Booty Bounce" throw. Looks like Ray wasn't
ready for that jelly!
Peach: Okay! Now I'm going to teach you a lesson, Ms.
Bonne! *charges up her golf club smash*
Geno: Good going, Toadstool!
Her damage is very high, and I think that blow can hit her far!
Tron: That's what you think! *does a sweeping attack,
clearing the fighters from around Gustaff* Now, Ready... *two Servbots hover above
Goom: Looks like Tron's trying out another one of her
special attacks. Will it work? No, it won't. Ray
MK II just finished charging up his own attack, and releases
the hornet stingers straight at Tron Bonne.
Teddy: An' the little missy gets hit big time, as the stingers cause her machine
to freeze in place. That's amazin'! *tosses in a crate*
|Fighters' Damage Meters!
Flip: Gustaff seems to have malfunctioned, caught in place because of the stingers.
Geno takes time to smash the crate that just appeared,
while Peach busies herself exchanging blows with
Ray. The crate gets thrown by Geno...
and lands on Peach?! That wasn't a smart move...
Peach: Ahhhhh! *gets thrown off the level, but hovers
back to recover* Geno!
Goom: Well, Tron fixed Gustaff, but not before
Ray pulls Gustaff over to its side of the arena and starts
pummeling it. As for our two "Kinoko" fighters, it looks like
Peach is now attacking Geno, like the match should
Flip: Well, yeah, but now it's turned into a Free-for-All! It's every toy/human/robot
|Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ray: *dodges a punch from Tron,
then jumps onto an upper platform ((remember platforms? I forgot to use any in this
match...)) and looks at the commentators angrily* What are you talking about it
being a Free-For-All?!
Goom: Um... well...
Teddy: Woah-ho! You guys just missed that little lady give that doll guy an explodin'
hip hit. That was hot!
Tron: *looks at Ray* C'mon
down, Transformer-wannabe. Gustaff wants to kick your ass some more!
Ray: *ignoring the comment* Okay, listen you guys. You
said that I'd be fighting with Geno against the girls.
Then you said that my partner joined up with one girl, so then it was Two
VS One VS One. And NOW you're saying that it's a Free-For-All because my
idiot of a partner couldn't throw a crate right?!
Flip: Well... yeah.
Ray: @#$% THAT! *drops down into the center of the arena,
and starts hovering, curled into a little ball*
Goom: Is it hiding, or refusing to fight, or what??
Teddy: Looks to me like it's got one bad fart holed up in there... *tries to laugh,
but ends up coughing up phlegm onto his shirt*
Flip: It seems we have a little episode going on here folks...
Ray MK II is refusing to fight. It's just curled
up in the center of the arena, floating there... humming. It's kinda creepy.
Goom: Yeah, but it must not be to the other fighters. Peach
insists on slapping Geno for almost killing her, while
he just sort of allows it to happen. Sometimes having a heart of gold isn't a good
thing to have. If I were him, I'd be whooping her ass right now.
|Fighters' Damage Meters!
Teddy: *coughing* I dunno. I'm watching this little chicky over 'ere in the robot
suit. She's just punching away at the other robot, but it's not being affected by
the blows. That's pretty neat, if ya ask me.
Ray: *mumbling something*
Flip: What's it mumbling? Hmm.. let me tune that speaker thing over to
Ray: *mumbling becomes louder and decipherable* Kaaaa...
Teddy: KA? What is this thing, a friggin' crow?
Other Fighters: *stop what they're doing and listen too*
Ray: *starts to unfold himself* Meeee...
Flip: No, it's not from DBZ...
Ray: *now starting to stand erect, hovering in the air,
as his mumbling gets louder* Kaaaa...
Tron: Screw this. I'm not gonna stand here listening
the whole time. Kiss my steel, dog! *punches at Ray, but
the punch gets deflected and knocks Gustaff backwards*
Ray: *now standing straight in the air, eyes closed, with
arms in fists at sides* ......
Ray: *opens eyes and smirks* ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*throws out arms and surrounds himself with fire, dashing straight into the ground*
Goom: HOLY!! *dives beneath the counter*
Teddy: I'm with ya, buddy! *dives beneath the counter too*
Furby: Uh-oh! *closes eyes*
Flip: *nods head and sits back in chair*
Tron: What the hell's he doing?!
Peach: Geno! I'm sorry we fought!
*grabs onto Geno and holds tightly*
Geno: .... *starts to slip* Woah! *notices the water on
the floor turning into steam*
Ray: YOU'LL ALL DEARLY PAY FOR DOING THIS! YOU'RE ALL NOTHING
BUT A BUNCH OF FLESHY IMBECILES! YOU CAN'T EVEN DECIDE WHOSE SIDE YOU'RE REALLY
ON! WELL I'LL SHOW YOU WHOSE SIDE YOU'RE ON!! *ground starts to lift beneath everyones'
feet, sending them up into the air* AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *drives himself
into the ground and suddenly everything goes silent and the fighters fall back to
the arena floor*
Goom: *pokes his eyes over the counter* It's quiet now...
Tron: AAAAAAAIIIIEEE! I'M SORRY!! AAAAAAHHH!
All Fighters: *dink*
Goom: *breathes a sigh of relief* Phew! Thank God we're here in the booth. I don't
understand why I was so scared. I mean, it was just- SNAP! *gets thrown back off
his chair by the sound wave*
Flip: *looks down at him* That's why we have seatbelts in this chairs. *points to
Teddy: Holy... Is it over yet? I thought I was having a heart attack! *coughs*
Flip: 'fraid so. Looks like this match is over...
THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... NOBODY!
(in the Prez's Office)
Flip: ...So then Ray MK II freaks
out, and does this super-strong Kamikaze attack that blows up not only the other
fighters, but the arena as well. Damn will Kirby be pissed when he hears about this...
Zeratul: Hmm... I see. Well, then, it looks like this match doesn't have a winner
at all, huh? Well... here's what I'll do. I'll count it as an official match anyways.
However, this match will not be recorded as either a Win or a Loss for any of the
fighters here. On top of that, it seems that Tron Bonne
performed well enough to stay as a fighter.
Flip: That's good.
Zeratul: Yes, but we may have to do something about Ray...
It's just a toy robot, but it does sound like it has a mind of its own, no less
an angry one. From the way you explained it, Flip, it sounds a lot like Vegeta...
Is Ray usually power-hungry?
Flip: Not at all. That's what makes this so weird... Maybe there was a bug in its
Zeratul: Well, whatever the case is, I'll let it slide, but not without its punishments.
Flip: Such as...?
Zeratul: ... First off, I'd like to keep Ray under close
watch. I don't want it pulling any more stunts like this. Also, let's keep it from
fighting for a while. The other three fighters are having trouble recovering from
that massive explosion it caused. And, finally, I'm gonna want Iggy to do a run
down of Ray's mechanical build and such. Maybe we could
tone down its power a little bit, or, if there really is a bug in its programming,
Iggy can fix it.
Flip: So... Keep a close eye on Ray, keep it suspended
from matches for a while, and check to make sure it's running properly?
Zeratul: Yes. Oh, and Flip...
Zeratul: Please don't do a puppet show again.
(in the Guest Hangout)
Teddy: *slugs down a shot of whiskey* Oh who am I kidding... I'm a complete and
absolute failure... The kids all hate me now... Oaawww... *bangs his head on the
Furby: *rolls eyes*
Teddy: Hey, what do you know about kids? I used to make 'em laugh and dance! *coughs*
And now I'm nothing but a heap of drunken trash...
Furby: Me wike dance! Do do do do do do! *starts moving his feet*
Teddy: Aww Furby... *chuckles* You can always make me laugh...
Furby: Me wuv you!
Teddy: Aww Furby... you're the best friend an old pop culture icon could ever have!
Teddy: *hits Play on his stomach, and "Let's Get it On" starts playing* Now c'mon
Furby... let's go be friends. *picks up Furby and walks off into the Guest Bedroom*
*comes out a few minutes later, and kicks out Raggedy Ann* Get outta 'ere ya yarny
Raggedy Ann: Ass... *pulls out a cigarette and a lighter and starts smoking*
(in the Prez's Office)
Zeratul: Well, I guess it's up to me to ask the questions this time. So, let's go
1. Was this match a good idea overall?
2. Wasn't Flip's puppet show really stupid?
3. Should we allow constant Team switches like those that occured today to be in
our matches, or should we ban them?
4. Was Ray's way of finishing the match extremely cheap?
5. Should we have more battles between Pop-Culture icons? How about a Music match:
Rock VS Rap? Or maybe you would like to see a Genre battle: RPGs VS Action?
6. Was my decision to temporarily suspend Ray a good one?
Zeratul: *suddenly becomes a cartoon version of himself inside a small circle* I
beli- I belie- I believe that's all folks!