Match #74

The Question: Which Nintendo RPG is the best of the best: Pokémon, Earthbound, Fire Emblem, or Star Tropics?

Fighters for Great Bay in Termina
Player One Player Two Player Three Player Four
Marth Ness Pikachu Mike

Lemmy: Welcome to another stunning match here at the Super Smash Stadium! We're going to be having a special sequel match to the RPG Battle of last season. Replacing Mario this time around will be Marth, and Ness and Pikachu will be making return appearances!

Crowd: *cheers*

Flip: *sighs* And if you haven't noticed already, we seem to be missing Link in this epic RPG battle redux...

Crowd: *boos*

Lemmy: But no worry! We've found someone better to replace him: Mike Jones from the hit "sister game" to The Legend of Zelda, Star Tropics!

Crowd: WHA?!

Flip: *frowns* They still don't know who he is...

Lemmy: Tisk tisk people! Mike is the hero of Coralcola! He's coming all the way from Seattle, Washington, USA to show us his teenage skills and amazing tricks he's learned in the Southern Seas, as well as throughout Time and Space. How could you not know who Mike Jones is?

Crowd: Oohhh!

Lemmy: That's better.

Flip: Yes... Anyways, people, we have some interesting guest commentators with us this time around. So, please give your attention to... KiddyKong64!

Crowd: *simultaneously makes farting noises in their armpits*

KiddyKong64: *walks out wearing banana ear muffs* Yo!

Lemmy: What... is with the bananas?

KK64: Well, this is Mike's debut match, so I decided I'd show a little support and wear these things. *turns towards the audience and makes a crazy peace sign, tongue-sticking out pose* Star Tropics rules!

SwordBlade2k: *in audience* Damn straight!

Flip: *nods* It sure does! But now, our next commentator should be getting attention shown in her direction... Ukyo!

Crowd: Yay!

Boshi: Take it off!

Megaman: Not again... *shoots Boshi and he explodes ala Monty Python*

Crowd: *cheers*

Ukyo: Hey! Attention should be presented to me, not to some half-decimated, blue dinosaur!

Flip: *puts his hand on Ukyo's shoulder* Don't worry, Ucchan. They won't be neglecting you anymore. *winks*

Ukyo: !!! *breaks free and smacks Flip over the head with her giant spatula*

Flip: GAK! *falls over onto the booth floor unconscious*

Ukyo: Hmph!

Lemmy: Well then... *coughs* It seems we should move on then... KK64?

KK64: *turns around from looking at Ukyo* ...Uh... yes. Tape?

Lemmy: Tape.

KK64: Okay... *pushes in the tape*

(on the tape)

Crowd: W00t!

Eric Marrs: *in crowd* Oh boy! I can't wait to see Marth kick Link's butt again!

Raichu26: Paula's not in this one... but I think Ness will do. Go Ness!

DracanoYoshi: Link's totally gonna wipe the floor. Zelda games rule!

hferg: *pointing* Look at that guy! He's trying to sneak in ahead of time!

ness100: *whips out a billy club* Let's get him!

Mike: Hmm? *turns around to see an angry mob coming after him* AAH!

Eric: How do you like it, punk?

Mike: Please please! I'm a fighter! For the love of- OW! My funny bone! That wasn't funny at all!

Megaman: *sees him in danger* Oh no! A young teenage fan in trouble? This looks like a job for... *rips off his suit to reveal him wearing the same suit underneath* MEGAMAN! *jumps in and starts shooting into the air to scare people away*

hferg: It burns!

Dracano: But he didn't hit us...

hferg: I said "it burns."

Dracano: O...kay...

Crowd: *runs away*

Megaman: Hey, you're not a fan... you're Mike! The new fighter!

Mike: FINALLY someone notices!

Megaman: I'm really looking forward to that match you know. I can't wait to see someone kick that Link into next year.

Mike: Link's not fighting...

Megaman: WHA?!

Mike: I'm his replacement. He went on hiatus or something...

Megaman: Well... that blows. When's he coming back?

Mike: *shrugs* He just upped and left. Mario is pretty downed about it and refuses to fight... that's why Marth is in the match as well.

Megaman: That changes a lot... Well, I've got people to save, things to do, robots to destroy... Later!

Mike: Yeah... later... *sighs, and then enters the Stadium*

(end tape)

KK64: Wait a sec... that told us nothing! All we know now is that the fans don't like Mike.

Lemmy: Don't KNOW Mike. Not don't like Mike. There's a difference...

Flip: Ugh... *sits up and rubs his head*

Ukyo: *smacks him again*

Flip: Ack! *falls down once more*

Lemmy: Well, enough stalling. Time for the match!

KK64: Right-o! We've got Marth with his sword skills, Ness with his psychic powers, Pikachu with his electricity, and Mike with his... whatever he has.

Ukyo: *reading off an index card she found on her chair* Hmm... let's see. Mike's moves are... "B: Asterisk, which is a throwing star; Smash B: Pitch, where he throws something; Up B: Golden Anklet, where he jumps really high; and Down B: Cleet Stomp, where he stomps down his cleeted boots." It also says that all his basic attacks revolve around either his yo-yo or his item inventory. Interesting.

Lemmy: Indeed. I can't wait to see Mike in action! Now, without further ado... The Match!!

KK64: Yeah!

Ukyo: Alright!

Flip: Ughh...

Lemmy: The fighters are entering the arena right now. On the far left, on the rock in the water, is Marth riding down on an elegant pegasus.

Marth: I'll begin this battle, and end it as well.

Lemmy: Appearing in a flash of fire to the left of the Great Bay laboratory is Ness.

Ness: Woah! Did I just see a midget riding a balloon?

Tingle: Ka-loo!

Lemmy: Pikachu appears from his Pokéball to the right of the laboratory.

Pikachu: PIKA!

Lemmy: And Mike appears in a fizzle of static on top of the Turtle.

Mike: Geez... *losing his balance* You'd think they would start me off somewhere that isn't slippery when wet...

KK64: *chuckling* "Slippery when wet"... That never gets old.

Ukyo: Eww... If I had known that you were all sickos as well as jackasses, I would've never signed on for this.

Lemmy: Okay! The fighters are all in the arena! So...

KK64: Let me!

Lemmy: ...fine.


Lemmy: That was lame...

KK64: Your mom.

Lemmy: That doesn't even make sense.

KK64: Your mom.

Lemmy: *sighs*

Flip: *crawls up to his chair, and readily avoids any contact with Ukyo* *glances around nervously* This match will have 2 lives per fighter... and lots of items... and... everyone will have fun...

Ukyo: *looks towards KK64* Did that just sound sexual to you? It did to me.

Flip: Great... *lays down and cowers*

Ukyo: YAH! *smacks Flip over the head with the spatula once more*

KK64: That nevers gets boring.

Lemmy: What I don't get is that Ukyo was a tomboy in Ranma 1/2, but she always took compliments well... she never beat any guys, except Ranma...

KK64: Who said the site had to be true to the games and such?

Lemmy: True.

Marth: *glaring at the commentators* Ahem.

Lemmy: OH YEAH! Go ahead guys... fight...

Ness: Finally!

Pikachu: CHU!

Fighters' Damage Meters!

KK64: Well! It looks like this match will be starting off amazingly strong. The fighters had some... extra time... to think about their strategies, and now they're all trying to pull some amazing maneuver that will destroy their opponents. Marth starts off by jumping and slashing at Ness, knocking him back into Pikachu. Mike jumps up and traps the two fighters in a rapid yo-yo attack. They're hurting!

Fighters' Damage Meters!

Ukyo: Marth joins in on the fun! His beautifully crafted hands are allowing the sword to become an extension of his arms, swaying and slashing with grace. Oh!

Lemmy: ... Marth is adding up damage to the other three opponents' counters. He's far enough away that his longsword, the Falchion, is hitting all three with its tip, the most damaging part of the sword. That means trouble for Mike and the rest, as Marth is doing a nice, constant sword slash to rack up damage on the right side of the laboratory deck. Mike seems a little surprised that he himself could fall into such a cheap attack...

Fighters' Damage Meters!

KK64: But not to fear! Item containers are here! *tosses in a Chansey Egg that lands on the Turtle's back* Now let's see them scramble, which is a horribly bad pun, I know. Ness does an around-the-world with his yo-yo to knock all the fighters away, then runs for the egg. Pikachu does a Thunder attack to keep Mike and Marth at bay, then runs after the egg himself. Ness is reaching for it, but Pikachu won't stand for that.

Pikachu: PI-KA! *kicks Ness and the egg*


Lemmy: Woah! That egg just blew up! I didn't expect that! Honestly, I didn't. Ness and Pikachu are sent high! Pikachu seems to have a little trouble landing properly, as the Turtle is beginning to sink beneath the waves. He tries a Quick Attack, and he barely manages to grab the edge of the small log platform. Ness isn't so lucky, as his PK Thunder backfires... but not before slamming into the greedy Marth who thought he could jump out and beat the two over the edge. Marth is shocked and set down into the waves! Ness falls like a stone into the ocean as well! They're down!

Fighters' Damage Meters!

KK64: Mike jumps down to the lower platform and kicks back Pikachu, who happened to be scrambling up over the edge at the time. Pikachu comes back with a Skull Bash, and knocks Mike underneath the platform. He manages to jump back up safely, and for revenge, does a Cleet Stomp to meteor attack Pikachu right into the log platform. Pikachu looks POed and does another Skull Bash. Mike is sent straight across the water, and onto the rock! Woah! But he won't give up. He does a Pitch attack full force, tossing a baseball straight at Pikachu. Pikachu can't get out of the way in time, and is hit back. The Turtle reappears, just his luck, and Pikachu falls down for a rest on the Turtle's back. Marth and Ness have both reappeared.

Fighters' Damage Meters!

Ukyo: Oh! Marth is back! He's starting off with a very inventive Smash attack, which doesn't work on that still invincible punk, Ness. But Marth does it again with a Shield Breaker when Ness' invincibility wears out, and this time, Ness is shielding, ironically. Ness is hurt and sent careening onto the Turtle. He immediately meets up with Pikachu, and the two start hitting each other back and forth.

Ness: I've fought Crows tougher than you!

Pikachu: Ka! Pi! Pika! (I wouldn't talk like that, melon head!)

Lemmy: I think Pikachu just made a crack about Ness' head... but, nonetheless, those two aren't very exciting right now. Now, Marth and Mike. There's something!

KK64: You're right! Mike is doing a Time Smash, whipping out various item after various item. Baseball bat, sword, laser, axe... Marth is able to counter that last one! Mike can't guard, and instead is sent backwards. He dashes back with an Asterisk attack, which hits Marth forward, digs into him, then splits in half and sends him straight up. Mike is using this to his advantage!

Mike: Let's see how well you fair in the air! *jumps and does an aerial uppercut smash to Marth*

Marth: Augh! *hears a cracking noise coming from his back, and falls towards the ground limply*

Lemmy: Did Marth just crack his back? Woah...

Ukyo: Don't worry. We'll level this out! For dear Marth! *throws out a pizza*

Marth: Thanks! *gobbles it up and heals himself*

Fighters' Damage Meters!

KK64: Anyone notice Pikachu's damage is really high? I think Marth just did... He's dashing at Pikachu on top of the Turtle. He smacks Ness out of the way, slips a tad, but quickly turns and Smashes Pikachu out of there!

Pikachu: PIKA PIKAAAAA! *dink*

Fighters' Damage Meters!

Flip: *opens his eyes* ...

Lemmy: *notices Flip* Hey! Get up!

Flip: I've been up... I just didn't want to get hit again...

KK64: So you've heard what's been going on?

Flip: Sure sure... *climbs into his chair and puts a cold compress on his head* Ugh... Hey! Mike's doing good!

Lemmy: Yeah!

Ukyo: Hmph... *ignores Flip* Marth has just KO'd that electric rodent! Hurray for Marth! He's now going after that teenage guy with the weird hair.

Flip: Mike... he's going after Mike..

Ukyo: *glares at Flip*

Flip: I mean that teenage guy with the weird hair. Yeah, that's who I meant. Heh heh... *holds out his palms to halt her* But, anyways, the guy with the weird hair is now in the lead, and he's showing it.

Mike: *taunts* Oh yeah!

Flip: *adjusts the cold pack* Mike is chucking bolas at both Marth and Ness, who are fighting each other. Ness decides to end it, and swings his baseball bat, sending Marth over the side of the Turtle. However, the Turtle is sinking. Much to Ness' dismay, he'll have to leave. He ends up running right into a bola thrown by Mike too! He and Mike turn and face each other down. Noone cares about Marth I suppose, who is struggling like crazy to prevent himself from sinking. Oh, and Pikachu's back...

Marth: Gasp... Wheeze... Cough... Augh! *sinks beneath the currents*

Fighters' Damage Meters!

Ukyo: Marth is OUT?! Oh!! *falls down and cries in her chair*

Lemmy: *holding his hands over his ears* Ugh... that whining noise!

KK64: *pointing to his banana headphones* Heehee. These came in handy.

Flip: *sweatdrop* Well... Marth is out, and Pikachu is back. He starts by letting out a Thundershock to jostle up Ness and Mike a bit. I'll start as well by tossing in this barrel. *grabs a barrel and drops it into the arena*

Mike: Hey, a barrel! Like Donkey Kong!

Ness: No duh, Einstein! *PK Fires Mike*

Mike: Ow! *caught in the flames*

Pikachu: CHUUU! *shocks Mike with an electrifying smash attack*

Mike: This really bites... *dink*

Lemmy: Nobody got the barrel... its going away...

Flip: And Mike actually got KO'd... I thought he'd stay invincible this match.

Ukyo: *still crying*

KK64: I'll make sure they'll get that barrel! *throws in a Mr. Saturn, who starts to push the barrel*

Mr. Saturn: BOING! *rolls the barrel across the main platform, right into the sparring Ness and Pikachu*

Pikachu: PIK-OW!

Ness: Ouch-ey!

Flip: The two are thrown back, and the barrel breaks open to reveal a Beam Sword and a Ray Gun. The Ray Gun is from Star Tropics, for those who didn't know. As well as the item appearance, Mike returns.

Fighters' Damage Meters!

Mike: Let's finish this once and for all!

Ness: *jumps and lands on the platform* Okay!

Pikachu: *lands near him* Ka!

Mike: Batter Up! *starts chucking baseballs like crazy*

Ness: PSI Magnet! *absorbs the baseballs*

Pikachu: Ka? (What?) Chu! (Oh!) *does a Quick Attack right through the two fighters*

Lemmy: Well... the three aren't doing as explosive attacks as I thought they would be.

Pikachu: KAAAAAA! *Skull Bashes Mike in the back*

Lemmy: Scratch that. Mike is sent over the edge and into the water. But... he's not out. He does a massive jump using his anklet and lands, amazingly, on the other side of the main platform. He's chucking bolas again now, and he's got Pikachu wrapped up. He does a wonderfully placed Cleet Stomp and sends Pikachu straight up into the air. Ness decides to finish Pikachu off though, and grabs the disappearing Beam Sword. He smashes as Pikachu falls down, and sends him flying away... and gone!

Fighters' Damage Meters!

Ness: I can win this one! *whips the Beam Sword at Mike*

Mike: Ahh! *does an Emergency Evade/Matrix Dodge* That was close! *dashes and does a sliding tackle into Ness*

Ness: Woah! *rolls over the edge*

Flip: Now Mike has knocked Ness back, and he's doing a Cleet Stomp to send him flying into the rock to the left of the laboratory. Ness cracks his big ol' head, and cries in pain as Mike does an aerial pendulum kick smash to send him to Davy Jones Locker. Ness is out! Mike has won!

Ukyo: *bawls her eyes out*



(in the Party Room)

Reid: *wearing a lampshade* Heh heh.. Heh heh...

Iggy: Get that off your head! We've got a fighter to salute.

Mike: You guys are going to salute me?

Iggy: No, not you! This guy! *points towards a kid, whom of which was last seen in the match (#71) when Link left*

Flip: Who's that?

Mike: And why is it not me?

Iggy: This is Link! Can't you see the resemblance? The Kokiri tunic, the boots, the green hat, the... okay, it ends there. But can't you see the similarities?

Flip: That looks a lot like some kid posing as Link... he doesn't even have the Master Sword, no less a Hylian Shield!

Mike: And what about me?

Iggy: Please please... This is Link. Let's demonstrate. Link?

Link?: *nods and chucks a Boomerang*

Flip: So? Any kid could have a boomerang!

Link?: *launches an arrow with his bow and pulls out a bomb*

Flip: Kids these days... they all have bows and bombs.

Link?: *pulls out his smaller sword and does a sword spin attack*

Flip: Well... that move's on key, but... the sword's too small.

Iggy: It's Link, face it. Remember he said he was going to go find himself? He must've found himself, no doubt.

Flip: I doubt that if he found himself, he'd be suddenly 2 feet shorter and using a sword and shield to match.

Iggy: Believe what you want, but the Stadium is identifying this child as Link. He's Link in the Stadium's eyes now.

Flip: What if we find out he's not Link, and the real Link shows up?

Iggy: Like that would happen... Woah! *gets blown back by a gust of feathers*

Link: I'm baaack! And look! I found myself! *holds up an action figure of himself over his head as the "Dun-Dun-Dun-Duuuun" sound plays*

Iggy: Damnit Flip! You ruin everything!

Flip: *smirks* Looks like we're gonna drop this kid...

Iggy: But we've already initiated him as a fighter...

Flip: What?

Link: What?

Mike: What... about me?

Iggy: *sighs* When we first found the kid, we asked, and the head honcho said it was fine for him to be a fighter, if he was Link or not. I personally believed him to be Link, but apparently he isn't... Either way, he would have been a fighter even if he wasn't Link.

Kid: *jumps up and down* Alright!

Link: Hey... that voice... That's me! *points to the kid*

Iggy: What? We just proved it wasn't you...

Link: No! It's not me-me. It's Young-me! A Young Link so to speak. I don't know how it happened, but my younger self is now right here in front of us.

Flip: That's... impossible.

Link: Not for the Hero of Time. He must've swapped places with me when I traveled back in time to Termina to find myself. I was there when I was younger... when I was him, actually.

Flip: So you bumped him out, and he took your place temporarily?

Link: Yes.

Flip: But then he'd be back in Termina right now...

Link: ... he would be, wouldn't he? Well... then I don't know how this happened. A third person maybe?

Iggy: Well, it may be because Link traveled back in time and created a temporal rift, which caused a change in the flow of time. Our time as we knew it was then shifted into some sort of alternate dimension, or a time limbo even. This change may have allowed the correct properties so that, when Link disappeared and changed our time, Young Link was pulled through the time-hole and took his place. When Link returned, the hole was closed, not giving this child a chance to return home. Folks, we may have just ruined the whole universe in a way that we can't even begin to imagine!

Reid: *yawns* Pfft... Quantum Physics is just too damn confusing... and boring. Let's all just agree that Young Link got here someway somehow, he's a fighter now, and let's all just forget about this event taking place, okay?

Link, Young Link, Flip, Mike: Right!

Iggy: *groans, but then beams a smile towards Young Link* Welcome to SSS, Young Link!

Young Link: Thanks!

(later, in Mike's locker room)

Mike: Of course they forgot me... I don't get it. I'm cool and suave, yet I'm forgotten. Most people mistake me for some weird Capcom mistake... Oh... well...

Navi: *walks in in her Hylian form* Hello Mike! I see you're pondering your existance, aren't you?

Mike: Well... yes...

Navi: So, what do you think of SSS so far?

Mike: Crazy. Just plain crazy..

Navi: Crazy... I like it! *leaves*

Mike: Now that just didn't make sense... As did this match. Let's go to the questions!

1. Will I make a great addition as a fighter to the Stadium?
2. Is Ukyo really a man-hater, or does she just not like Flip?
3. Will Flip's head ever heal?
4. Was the fight cheap, in any way, because I really couldn't find any cheapness myself...
5. Will Marth ever realize that he's got a huge crowd of chicks who worship him, even if he is a nervous loser?
6. Did Link "find himself"? I doubt purchasing a little figurine was all he did...
7. How did Young Link get here? Really...
8. Why was Navi's interview so short? It was only two questions...

Mike: Explain these things so I don't have to, got that?