Peach's Cat
Written by Ryan Harrison

SCENE 1: PRINCESS PEACH'S CASTLE
(Peach is sitting out on the porch in the middle of a hot day. She seems a bit bored.)
PEACH: Oh dear, I wish I had a pet. Something to keep me company at times.
(Toad enters.)
TOAD: Gee Princess, you look so glum. Is something wrong?
PEACH: I'm bored. I want a pet.
TOAD: Why don't you play with me? I'm pet-sized.
PEACH: No, Toad, I mean an animal pet. Anyway, the last time we played a game...
(We go into a flashback.)

SCENE 2: TENNIS COURT
(A game of Mario Tennis is resuming. Peach serves the ball. Toad tries to hit it back but gets blown away by the force.)
TOAD: HELP!!!

SCENE 3: PRINCESS PEACH'S CASTLE
(We return to the present.)
TOAD: Well, I heard they have a pet store in the Mushroom Kingdom. They sell all kinds of neat animals! Frogs, lizards, salamanders, chameleonsÉ
PEACH: Actually, I think I'd like a cat. Their personality is a lot like me.
TOAD (under his breath): You wish.
PEACH: What?
TOAD: Nothing! Nothing! I was just saying how nice it would be to have a cat around the castle.
(We fade into a vision in Toad's head.)

SCENE 4: VARIOUS CASTLE ROOMS
(We see Toad being chased by a fierce, vicious, monstrous cat.)
TOAD: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(We return to reality.)

SCENE 5: PEACH'S CASTLE
TOAD: Argh!
(Toad dives into the castle moat.)
PEACH: Toad? What are you doing?
(Toad suddenly realises where he is.)
TOAD: Oh, uhh nothing! Just having a little bit of a swim, that's all.
PEACH: Could you get me the address for the pet store?
TOAD: O-Kay!
(Toad wades out of the water, runs into the castle, and returns with a piece of paper.)
PEACH: Thank you Toad. Let's go.
TOAD: To the pet shop?!?!

SCENE 6: MUSHROOM KINGDOM PET STORE
(It is a little bit later on in the day. The place looks like a perfectly normal pet shop. Peach and Toad enter. Toad looks worried. Peach approaches the clerk. While she talks to him, a blue Yoshi breaks out of its cage and chases Toad. We see more of the scenario in the background as Peach and the clerk talk.)
CLERK: Princess Toadstool! What are you doing here?
PEACH: I wanted a pet. Where are the best cats in the store?
(The Yoshi tackles Toad.)
TOAD: Waaaa!!!
CLERK: Ummm, uhh, I'll have to go see the manager, hold on a moment.
(As the clerk leaves, the Yoshi eats Toad.)

SCENE 7: STAFF ROOM
(We see a chair with its back turned to the camera. The clerk enters.)
CLERK: M-M-Mr. Koopa, sir?
(The chair turns around. Bowser is sitting in it, wearing a business tuxedo.)
BOWSER: What?
CLERK: It's P-P-Princess T-T-Toadstool, and she wants a cat.
BOWSER: Perfect! Give her this! She can't refuse!
(Bowser hands the clerk a box.)
CLERK: Y-Yes sir.
BOWSER: Hahahaha.

SCENE 8: MUSHROOM KINGDOM PET STORE
(When the clerk returns Peach is still waiting patiently at the desk. He hands her the box. She opens it and sees the most attractive cat in her life.)
PEACH: Ooh it looks so lovely! I'll take it. How much?
CLERK: 50 gold coins.
(Peach pays the clerk.)
PEACH: Look Toad, a cat! It looks so cute doesn't it?
(The camera turns to see a battered Toad lying on the floor. The area behind him looks like a war zone. Cages are tipped over, perches lay in a huge untidy pile and sawdust is occupying the entire lot.)
TOAD (dizzily): Yes Princess... very... good... choice...
(Toad faints.)

SCENE 9: PEACH'S LIVING ROOM
(Peach is sitting on her sofa stroking the cat. Toad is anixously sitting in a nearby armchair gripping the armrests very tightly. The cat looks at him and hisses.)
PEACH: You know what kitty? You need a name, and I have just the perfect one... Kitty Peach!
TOAD (irritated): Oh brother.
PEACH: Toad, go make supper for us please? And a bowl of cat food for Kitty Peach.
TOAD (with forced optimism): O-Kay!
(Toad exits.)
PEACH: You're such a good kitty yes you are! Yes you are!

SCENE 10: PEACH'S KITCHEN
(Toad is fishing out some cooking utensils.)
TOAD: Sometimes I think she loves that darn cat more than me! Since when did she give me a sponge bath or a massage or even a kiss on the cheek? Never! That cat is ruining my life!
(Toad tries to put a pan onto the stove. He can't reach.)
TOAD: I can see how difficult this is going to be...
(We see a caption saying "LATER THAT EVENING". Peach, Toad and Kitty Peach are finishing supper.)
PEACH: Mmm, that was delicious! Thank you, Kitty Peach!
(Toad growls.)
PEACH: I mean, Toad! Well, time for bed!
TOAD: Yippee!
PEACH: Oh and by the way Toad, Kitty Peach is having your bed now. You have that one.
(Peach points to a cardboard box in the corridor.)
TOAD: You gotta be kiddin' me! That's my bed!
PEACH (unconcerned): Yes.
(Peach and Kitty Peach leave.)
TOAD: Why did I have to open my big mouth and tell her there was a pet store?
(Toad clambers into the cardboard box and shuts it. The lights are turned off.)

SCENE 11: MUSHROOM KINGDOM
(We see a caption saying "IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT...". Kitty Peach begins destroying things in the castle. Then he goes outside into the Mushroom Kingdom. He invades everyone's houses, and later turns the kingdom into a complete junkyard. Night eventually turns into morning.)

SCENE 12: PEACH'S BEDROOM
(Peach wakes up and begins walking down the stairs. She sees the destruction that Kitty Peach has caused then sees Toad taking cover behind a tipped over table. Peach takes a few deep breaths, and screams.)

SCENE 13: OUTSIDE PEACH'S CASTLE
(We hear Peach's scream bellowing from about 100 yards away.)

SCENE 14: PEACH'S CASTLE
(Peach has fainted.)
TOAD: There's only one thing to do!

SCENE 15: MARIO'S PAD
(Mario and Luigi are in bed. The phone rings. Mario answers it.)
MARIO: Mario Bros. plumbing-ah service. No leak-ah too small.
TOAD (on phone): Mario it's me Toad.
MARIO: Oh hello-ah Toad, what do you want-ah?
TOAD (on phone): You'll never believe this. Princess Peach bought a cat yesterday and now it's destroying the Mushroom Kingdom!
MARIO: Nonsense! Luigi, look out of-ah the window and see what a nice-ah day it is-ah.
TOAD (on phone): I'm being serious here!
(Luigi looks out of the window.)
LUIGI: Mamma mia!
(Mario looks out too.)
MARIO: Mamma mia!
TOAD (on phone): Please hurry, we've got no time to lose!
(Mario puts the phone down.)
LUIGI: Here we go!
(Mario goes down the slide that puts his overalls and costume on to end up on Yoshi, while Luigi has to do it manually. He walks out of the door dressed.)
LUIGI: I'm-ah telling you Mario, it's-ah really not-ah fair.
MARIO: Whatevah. Let's-ah go, Yoshi!
(Mario, Luigi and Yoshi head off to the castle.)

SCENE 16: PEACH'S CASTLE
(Toad is in the top floor of the tower next to the castle looking out the window through a pair of binoculars. He sees Mario, Luigi and Yoshi in the distance.)
TOAD: They're coming, Princess!
PEACH: Thanks Toad!
(Toad jumps out of the tower window looking to land in the moat. Instead, he lands on the grass behind it. The force kills him.)
TOAD (death music): Ohnonononono!
(An angel Toad flies up. Yoshi eats the halo and Toad returns to earth. He rushes up with Peach to meet Mario, Luigi and Yoshi.)
PEACH: Thank goodness you guys are here! Do you see what my cat has done?
(They all enter the castle.)
LUIGI: Look at-ah this place it's a disaster area!
(Mario looks up and sees some pipes in the ceiling leaking.)
MARIO: Mamma mia! It's a plumbah's nightmare!
TOAD: We'll stay here and clean the castle up.
MARIO: Let-ah me guess-ah. Luigi and I follow the path of-ah destruction and find-ah the cat-ah?
TOAD: Seems like it, yes.
MARIO: Here I come!
LUIGI: Here we go!
(Mario and Luigi exit.)
PEACH: Okay guys let's get cleaning up.
YOSHI: Yoshi hungwy!
(Yoshi starts eating all the broken stuff.)

SCENE 17: MUSHROOM KINGDOM
(Mario and Luigi approach a mushroom citizen lying on the ground.)
MARIO: Excuse me-ah, did-ah you see a cat go past-ah here?
MUSHROOM CITIZEN: Yes I did! He nearly killed me!
MARIO: Which-ah way did he go-ah?
MUSHROOM CITIZEN: That way.
(He points to a path of rubble and destroyed houses.)
MARIO: Okay, let's-ah go, Luigi!
(The camera is showing Mario and Luigi running through the Kingdom like a Super Mario Bros. level. They somersault over pits, dive over brick platforms and grab coins on the way. They eventually reach Bowser's castle after a time cut.)
MARIO: Hmm, the path of-ah destruction leads to Bowser's castle!
(The castle doors open and Kitty Peach stands in the doorway. Bowser steps up behind him.)
BOWSER: So, you two finally got here. Where's the whisky?
LUIGI: Not this-ah time Bowser! We're here for the cat-ah!
BOWSER: Not a chance, pesky plumbers. Okay boys, get 'em!
(An army of red and green Koopa Troopas approach Mario and Luigi. Bowser and Kitty Peach go back inside the castle. Mario stomps a red Koopa Troopa and kicks the shell. It hits about 10 more Troopas. Luigi bashes a nearby block and retrieves a fire flower. He begins frying the other Troopas. Mario does the multi hop technique and kicks the shells away. Luigi finishes off the last few Troopas. Then they notice Bowser, Kitty Peach and the 7 Koopa children escaping away in Bowser's flying clown machine.)
LARRY KOOPA: Hahahaha! You'll never get us now, plumbers!
(Something drops out of the machine. Luigi picks it up. It is a map of Dinosaur World.)
MARIO: So that's-ah where they're-ah going! Come on Luigi, we've got to follow them!
(Mario and Luigi start trekking back.)

SCENE 18: PEACH'S CASTLE
(Toad, Peach and Yoshi have finished cleaning up the mess. The doors burst open and Mario and Luigi enter.)
MARIO: They're gone to Dinosaur World! To the hot air balloon-ah!
(Everyone leaves.)

SCENE 19: SKY
(The gang are in Mario's hot air balloon looking for Dinosaur World. Luigi is reading the map and giving the directions while Yoshi follows his sense of smell.)
YOSHI: Down there! Yoshi smell them!
(Mario lowers the hot air balloon to the ground. They have arrived at Yoshi's Island.)
MARIO: I've-ah been here before. Remembah Yoshi when we first met-ah?
YOSHI: Yoshi wemember!
(We go into a flashback where in a level of Super Mario World, Mario breaks a block open and Yoshi breaks out of an egg that is released from the block. He eats Mario.)

SCENE 20: YOSHI'S ISLAND
YOSHI: But Yoshi no like meatballs.
MARIO: Let's-ah go everybody! Here I come!
LUIGI: Here we go!
TOAD: O-Kay!
PEACH: Leave it to me!
YOSHI: Yoshi hungwy!

SCENE 21: DINOSAUR WORLD
(We now see the gang from a point of view so it looks like the map off Super Mario World. They travel through Yoshi's Island, to Donut Island, then through the Vanilla Dome, to Cookie Mountain, across Cheese Bridge, down through the Forest of Illusion, then through Chocolate Island, through the sunken ship, and they eventually get to the Valley of Bowser. They enter the neon castle.)

SCENE 22: THE NEON CASTLE
(It is extremely dark.)
MARIO: Man-ah this place spooks me.
LUIGI: Give me a boost-ah Yoshi!
(Luigi hops on Yoshi's back and Yoshi flings him to the ceiling where Luigi bashes a block that knocks on the light. The gang run through the castle until they get to a door that leads to Bowser's battle arena.)

SCENE 23: BOWSER'S BATTLE ARENA
(The gang enter. They look up and see Bowser in his flying clown machine.)
BOWSER: Okay kids, waste those plumbers!
(The 7 Koopa kids spring out of the machine. Mario beats down Larry. Luigi takes carry of Iggy. Toad tries to put up a fight with Roy, but Yoshi has to do it for him by eating Roy and spitting him back out again. Peach takes out Wendy O. Koopa. Mario then puts Morton out of action by ramming his head with Ludwig Von's. Yoshi takes care of Lemmy.)
BOWSER: Well I have a plan B this time!
(Kitty Peach jumps out of the machine and attacks the gang. Luigi tries to stomp it, but Kitty Peach takes a scratch at him.)
LUIGI: Awww, mamma mia!
(Luigi dies.)
(Mario bashes a block to release a 1up Mushroom. He gives it to Luigi, who comes back to life. Toad has now been attacked again. Yoshi manages to eat Kitty Peach, but it looks like he can't hold it in for much longer. With the small amount of time they have, Luigi bashes a block and grabs a fire flower. Mario bashes another and gets a cape. Kitty Peach breaks out of Yoshi's mouth. Luigi suddenly fries Kitty Peach with a fireball and Mario uses a spin attack to knock it out.)
MARIO: Haha! Think again-ah, Bowser!
BOWSER: I'm not finished with you two pesky plumber pests yet!
(Bowser begins swooping at Mario and Luigi in the machine. Mario and Luigi duck for cover.)
MARIO: Not-ah today Bowser!
(Luigi starts throwing fireballs at the machine. After several fireballs hit the machine, it starts breaking down. Mario uses the cape to fly up and deliver Bowser a big blow to the face. The flying clown machine explodes. Bowser is left severely injured.)
BOWSER: I hate those plumbers!
(Bowser faints.)

SCENE 24: PEACH'S CASTLE
(Toad and Peach finish supper.)
PEACH: Well Toad I guess I was better off without a pet.
TOAD: Exactly Princess. You never know how our next adventure starts!
PEACH: Well, time for bed.
TOAD: Yippee!
PEACH: Oh by the way Toad, Kitty Peach destroyed your bed so you're going to have to stay in that cardboard box a little bit longer.
TOAD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Ending music plays and the credits roll.)