Mario Lives
Written by Karter
Table of Contents
"Who are these two? These two little runts claiming to have beaten me once, and twice, and even more than three times! ...Runts. Mario and Luigi.... They make my Koopa head throb with fire!"
There is a stench inside the space created by Bowser Koopa. The stench is that of the Goombas and Thwomps and other dusty, dirty mites, rodents, and critters. This place is also sweltering, pitted, and doomed. Peach has her mind set on bringing this great monster to his doom. She is not afraid of Bowser's mighty speech or his exploding Bob-ums or his lava juice that he has forced her to drink. He said it would cast some kind of wicked spell on her. He said she would forever be cast into this spell and would never be able to change back. If it was her curiosity that brought her to this place, then he said she would indeed be led to her death by this curiosity...
"AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH!" Bowser's laugh is a roar and the winds of his breath whip up as he sees Peach struggling to break free the binds of thick snake rope and she's screaming when she realizes what is happening to her. The spell takes hold and quickly morphs her from a dazzling young mushroom princess into a small animal that can pose little threat to the kingdom of Koopa.
A cat.
Peach became a silvery Persian cat-yet beautiful-nevertheless a mere creature. She could not speak, could not write, could not even comprehend the spoken word.
But Bowser forgot one thing. Turning her into that cat gave her the ability to jump free of the snake rope, and she got away when he tried to catch her because he was not fast enough, and she soon jumped out of a nearby window and landed feet first atop the rainbow outside and slid down from Red Bowser sky and disappeared from Bowser World forever.
There is a house on a street called Peach Lane where a young man, who calls himself simply "BearKarter64 (or just Karter for short)," lives with his uncle Simon. Karter has lived with his uncle for the last two years after his father died and his mother went off to become a flying trapeze artist in the circus.
The house is an old but gorgeous two-story bungalow with a shrub garden in the front yard. The house is wonderful but constantly needs work which Karter's uncle Simon does much of himself. But lately uncle Simon has been busy at his job as a civil engineer so he's had to leave most of his house projects undone. Just so happens that Karter fell off his skateboard on the way home from school one day and landed right in front of a bulletin board at Walgreens on the corner of Gable Street and Clark Avenue. When he got up, he noticed some postings on the board, but the one that had stood out says in large letters:
MARIO & LUIGI'S HOME RENOVATIONS
CALL US AT 555-7567 or EMAIL AT www.nintendo.com
"Good idea." Simon says as he held up some square piece of paper. "Two guys with tools...Very good idea, kid. As a matter of fact, I went online late last night and contacted these fellows. They call themselves the Mario Brothers. Amazing, huh? One of 'ems right outside on the porch waiting for me to show him what I want them to do. I still can't believe he showed up so quick. Go ahead...go out there and meet him--"
Now, this wasn't to be believed-- Mario Brothers? When Karter grabbed the card he had figured it was just some kind of gimmick for a real renovation company, that indeed the names Mario & Luigi had drawn his attention, although his intended purpose for doing that was just giving his uncle an idea. ...My, what a clever advertising tool... he thought to himself.
When he got to the front porch, Karter looked left, then right, and saw someone on the bench seat taking a snooze. "--whoa! I'm-a tired.." said the person who slumped over even more and practically fell off the bench if not for Karter's quick leap forward which saved the timely stranger from a bad accident. "Sir, if you're tired, maybe you should go somewhere where you can lie down and get some sleep-" No sooner than Karter mentioned such a thing, the stranger was up on his feet. "What?! Me? Go lie-a down?! No way! ...It's-a me! Mario!"
Mario? No, that was not Mario. Or it could've been, but not the little guy with the red hat and plumber's overalls and white gloves. This was not THE Mario. This guy wasn't even short.
"So...uh...Mario. You fix up houses and stuff, huh?"
The stranger nodded.
"Then what's with this?" Karter looked the fellow up and down. "Suit? Tie?"
"Oh this-a--" the stranger, Mario, shrugs assuredly. "This-a my day to meet with the CEO at my company. I dress-a like this to impress my clientele. When I am working, I wear-a red overalls with blue shirt and a red-a cap-"
"Really, red cap? With a big letter M,"
"Of course."
"And your brother, Luigi?"
"How you-a know he's my brother? But yes. He has green cap with-a the letter L on the front..."
There was a strange pause just as uncle Simon appeared, and in his presence, Karter all of a sudden had a need to get something off of his chest. "Uncle Simon, I think we need to maybe check some other possibilities...I mean, get bids, y'know? Not jump in with the first guys to pop up on the porch-" The stranger, Mario, sat back down on the bench seat like he wasn't going anywhere as uncle Simon seemed to be coming to his senses, but then, "Hey! What's this-a?" shouted Mario. "A kitty? Oh what a beautiful kitty. Is it yours?"
A very pretty Persian cat had perched itself upon Mario's lap, strangely enough, as though the fellow had pulled the animal from his pocket as part of a diversionary tactic or something. "No, not ours." said Simon. "But I've seen it around a few times lately. Must belong to the new neighbors across the street."
So much for the "cat out of Mario's pocket" theory.
"Well," Mario put the cat off of his lap and stood up, but the cat continued to purr and nuzzle up around his legs. He made several attempts at shaking the kitty off but it dug in its claws and clung to him. "I think I should-a first tell you," His voice trembled as he shook his right leg vigorously, trying to get the cat to let go (but no luck,) "Me and my brother Luigi are-a very good at what-a we do! We do-a very, very good job for you. We finish what-a we start! You need-a electrician, we do that. You need-a plumber, we do that. You want-a floor-installers, we do that. We do-a anything and everything! We are the best!"
Had to admit, this character's spin was convincing and he seemed to have uncle Simon at the point of signing a big complicated contract and digging his checkbook out of the glove compartment and handing over a blank number 1145 to Mr. Mario.
"Well then, guess I don't need those folks at the local home center after all, eh? You're hired, and your brother's hired too." Uncle Simon replied in a eerie sort of obedient way- like he was hypnotized or something. "I hope you guys can start right away."
"Of course." said Mario. "Today, if you will allow us. I will-a call my brother Luigi and tell him to get here soon as he can...and...and..." The cat was still holding on and finally, he reached down, pulled the animal off of his leg and tossed it far out into the yard where it landed straight up on its feet. The cat looked back at Mario almost like it was angry, and scurried off across the street, just missed being hit by a car before it ran into the neighbor's yard and went behind the row of thick bushes, never to be seen again that day.
"Crazy feline." said Mario. "She acts like-a she knows me or something."
Hmm. Karter had a question for this. "How'd you know it's a female?"
"By the way she cling-a to me." Mario nodded. "Believe me, that-a was female cat."
The funniest thing Karter ever did see in his life was...well...the Mario Brothers playing Mario Bros. "Hee-Hee!" Mario laughed as he flicked 'round the joystick and thumbed the A button in Mario Party 3. And then it was his brother Luigi shouting "Ya-hoo..!" every time he came in first place on Super Mario Kart.
"You know-a...funny thing is, all this is happening in-a Mushroom World." said Mario. "Look-a at this, Luigi. Isn't that Wario's castle there in the background?"
"Yes." answered Luigi after pulling up another wooden chair and sitting down next to his brother.
"And you know what? Yesterday, when I was playing on the other system, that game Mario Kart had the Donut Plains in it, and-a Rainbow Road...and even Koopa Troopa Beach! This is-a strange, don't you think, Mario? I mean, these games...they're all about us?"
This, Karter could not take any longer.
"Okay guys!" he shouted. "Yeah, yeah... yeah. Right. Like you're from Mushroom World and you travel everyday on Rainbow Road and get tans on Koopa Troopa Beach... I think my uncle Simon needs you two to stop playing games and get to work like you promised him."
Karter then picked up a can of nails from the floor and handed it over to Mario as the brothers were looking at each other like they were offended. Mario stood, took the can of nails and frowned his thick brows at Karter.
"I'll have you to know that Koopa Beach is extravagant! Probably too much for your weenie tastes! And it's-a superb fishing spot...Farter!"
"Okay, that's it! Back to work!" Karter yelled for the last time and watched the brothers leave the room grumbling at each other.
Those chumps didn't even turn off the game system. They had left precious, costly cartridges all over the floor and the controls down there too with the wires all crossed up like spaghetti. Not to mention how in the past few weeks, they had cooked in the kitchen and left strings of pasta all over the place. But dear uncle Simon, patient as he could be, never once complained, as the brothers were indeed professionals at what they did. They had installed a brand new tub in the upstairs bathroom, re-wired a portion of the basement, replaced numerous light fixtures and gone about the business of checking the sewer lines and adjusting the toilets, which was indeed very grungy work. In addition, they seemed to be plaster experts, as they had corrected several cracks in the walls and the ceilings, patched up scars in the molding and baseboards, and also fixed that squeaky floor between the kitchen and dining-room.
Just so happened the cat that was hanging around on Mario's leg that first day returned about three weeks later, and just as before, the thing kept clinging to Mario again. However this time Luigi helped pull it off and when he did he seemed to suddenly notice something for which Karter mistook for wasting time again.
"Hey, Mario. You look-a this cat real good?" Luigi held up the cat and appeared to be examining the collar. "This... it looks like-a the gold crown that-a Peach wears. Come. Come here."
Karter stood there shaking his head as Mario took the kitty from Luigi's hands and checked out the collar.
"...Oh...my goodness-a. Peach? Peach, it is-a you?.."
At long last, Karter didn't care anymore that these guys were the best and had made his uncle Simon very content- it was due time to say goodbye to these two nuts who really believed they were from "Mushroom World." "Okay, Mario and Luigi. That's it. You can go. I'll tell my uncle Simon-"
Suddenly the kitty leaped from Mario's grasp, ran off into the backyard, and then vanished all of a sudden as if it escaped into a hole or something. Mario and Luigi seemed to panic, and they ran to find where the kitty had fallen. For some reason Karter ran after them, yelling at them that they had to leave or he was going to call the police and have them hauled off to jail if they didn't go quietly.
But he never got the chance.
Just as he was about to demand that they leave, he slipped through a patch of grass with them into the inside of a pipe, and they all tumbled along with the cat. Finally they were in what seemed to be the open air, but it could not have been, Karter wondered, for they were underground. Karter felt his body whirling uncontrollably to what he thought could have very well been his death, while all around him were the sounds of Mario and Luigi yelling "WHOOOAAA" and "WAAAAAAA" until finally, they all splashed into an endless blue sea.
And the cat had made it too.
"Grab her!" Mario shouted, and Luigi quickly made a splash as he snatched the kitty from the water and began swimming with it toward land that was less than a quarter mile away. Luigi made it to land first. He was the best swimmer. Mario next. Karter made it last, huffing and puffing, as it had been a while since he swam in an ocean.
"Well!" Mario said in his very cheery voice. "Welcome to-a Mushroom World!"
By now you must know that Karter was in a state of shock. Mario and Luigi aren't real. Right? They're just characters from video games... They're not people. Not even things. You can't really touch them. All you can do is move them around on the screen with a little joystick and make them do stuff with the A and B buttons, and do other cool stuff with all those other buttons...
"..Hello? Karter? Hey Karter! Wake up-a! You are here. In-a Mushroom World. Come now. We go-a to the castle first. We must take Peach...'er kitty here..to see her mother."
Karter opened his eyes, looking up at the bright blue sky. Standing over him were Mario, Luigi, and the kitty in Luigi's arms. "Mushroom World? We're here?" Karter says groggily. "Yes." answered Luigi. "We go-a to the castle to see Queen Pear Toadstool now, eh? You must get up. Come now. Up!" Raising him up from flat on his back, Mario and Luigi pulled Karter to his feet and helped him wipe the sand from his face. From there, they started to walk along the coastline. It was not until a while later that Mario spotted something in the distance.
"Look! Gold coins! Hurry, we have to get them before they fade away!"
Once they reached the gold coins, Mario and Luigi gobbled them like they hadn't tasted anything so good in more than a year. They urged Karter to try one, although he practically gagged but eventually got used to it. The brothers explained he would need these coins in Mushroom World, or else he would certainly lose all his health and die. Traveling further inland, Karter found himself eating more coins and had a few power-up Mushrooms that weren't so bad- actually, they tasted like lemon. In addition the red coins were cherry-flavored and the blue coins tasted of blueberry. And then there were those huge Power Stars that seemed to increase his stamina more than ever before.
The quartet went over some foothills and through a forest. They eventually came out on the other side where alas, was the sparkling castle of Princess Peach Toadstool. Karter was sure of it when he recognized the familar stained-glass window of the princess smelling the roses. "It's-a alright Peach," said Mario as he held the kitty very snuggly in his arms. "She squirms a lot. Probably doesn't want-a her mother seeing her like-a this."
The castle doors opened as they approached, and once inside, Karter finally realized that it was indeed real. After pinching himself and blinking his eyes the beautiful interior still lay out before him, with its fancy furnishings and paintings. He then had a chilling thought as he remembered the paintings on the walls in Super Mario 64-- "No." said Mario. "I know what you are-a thinking, and don't even worry about it. You-a finished that, remember? We've seen Yoshi. The Power Stars are back with the castle. Now we must take this kitty to the Queen so the spell can be broken, so Peach can return to the beautiful young lady she is!" Karter was ready.
"Yoohoo!" A woman who came down the stairs called out. "Mario? Is that you?"
"Yes-a, Queen Toadstool." said Mario. "It is! And I have-a my brother here, and also a friend of mine...this is Karter."
"Karter?" said the woman who approached them. She was dressed in a very fine gown of gold and silver, and she also wore a gold crown. "I have never seen you before, young man. Are you from our Mushroom World?"
"Actually--"
"Yes!" Mario answered quickly. "He come-a from right here in-a Mushroom World! Near Choco Mountain, Your Highness. We-a found him being nearly trapped by the Goombas. He almost didn't make it out alive!"
"Oh, you poor darling." said Queen Toadstool. "And what do you have there, Mario? A cat? How could you bring a stray like that to the castle?"
"Queen Toadstool, this cat is not-a stray. This is..Your Highness...Princess Toadstool."
Queen Toadstool almost hit the floor fainting but Luigi quickly caught her. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief and started to wave it, which soon brought the queen back to consciousness.
"AAAA!" she screamed. "My little girl! That animal is not my little girl!"
"But Your Highness, it is." said Luigi. "Bowser has put a spell on her."
Mario held the cat up so Queen Toadstool could take a closer look, and she then saw by the collar and pretty eyes looking at her so innocently that indeed, the cat was her precious daughter.
"Oh...my darling Peach." The Queen cried. "What has he done to you?!"
"I thought we-a bring her to you, and you can break his spell." Mario concluded.
The Queen look saddened. "No, Mario. I cannot break Bowser's spell. This is a very powerful one, one that he has created and cannot be broken, unless he is captured. You, Mario and Luigi. You must go capture Bowser and destroy him! Only then will my little girl have this awful spell removed."
Again, Mario and Luigi were grumbling amongst themselves almost as though they weren't sure of something which Karter found very rude in front of the Queen. "We'll do it!" Karter proclaimed with a newly found sense of confidence. "We can do it! We've beaten Bowser before! We can do it again!" Mario and Luigi were stunned silent. "Right guys?" went Karter. They were grumbling again. "I know the games!" Karter said. "I can win!" They all looked at him like he was crazy, especially the Queen. Mario then wrapped his arm around Karter and handed Princess Peach the kitty over to Luigi."Excuse-a us for a moment," and he quickly stepped away from the Queen to speak with Karter.
"Now, young man, I know you are-a... gaming fool, but this...this is not a game. See? We are-a really here, and we really have to fight Bowser. Do you know how-a big Bowser is? Huge. He is-a huge. Like-a T-Rex in your world. He breathes-a fire from his mouth and stomps on you with his clawed feet... Now, me and Luigi are somewhat used to this, but you... You are not even an expert on eating the power-up Mushrooms yet. You would have to follow right along with us, you know. Scale the bridges, balance the planks, get away from the Bob-Ombs before they blow-a up in your face. It is- need I say- not for an amateur. And in the real Mushroom World, when your game's over, that's it: you're kaput. Get-a my drift?"
Karter looked straight into Mario's eyes. "Absolutely." he said. "So, how many 1-Up Mushrooms are there in Mushroom World anyway?"
Mighty King Bowser Koopa had gone in search of more wood to use for the Goombas' huts when he made a discovery high atop Choco Mountain, where Wario had built his treasured "Wario Castle."
Now it was very well known that Wario was a rival of the Mario Brothers-- Mario in particular-- but it was also a fact that Wario seemed to always know before anyone what the brothers were planning, just as he was so effective at stealing that kart so that he could take part in the "Mario Kart" races. How did he know about that beforehand? Some people in Mushroom World were asking, as well as Bowser.
Now that Bowser could see the top of Choco Mountain, he noticed in the back of Wario's Castle that were several satellite dishes, some telescopes, and other devices that seemed more than just for the pleasure of looking at the stars above or cable television. Then it occurred to him: Wario was spying!
There was a scope for Peach's castle, one aimed at Luigi's Mansion, and yet another pointing toward the beautiful archipelago of Dinosaur World. From his command tower, Wario could definitely see and probably hear anything and everything he wanted! He saw it when Toad the mushroom servant got into a fight with the green Yoshi, and he knew about the time Queen Pear Toadstool caught Peach kissing Mario behind the castle! He also knew where the karts were parked before Mario sold them to all the racers for Mario Kart 64, therefore enabling Wario to steal Koopa Troopa's kart! And as well, he was on hand to crash a Mario Party, as he watched Mario write out the invitations. It was very well-known that Wario was good with electronic devices, such as mainframe computers, networks, and handhelds; he had even made up a few test peripherals of his own. It was Wario who had single-handedly launched his own television network which still keeps some of the younger Goombas gazing at "Little Goomba TV" during the hours of three to five o' clock in the afternoon. And so King Bowser had a plan.
He banged three times on the massive door of Wario's castle. "Yeah! Who-a is it?!" The disgusting voice yelled from inside.
"AAAAGH AAAAGH!" said Bowser.
The door opened, and from behind it came Wario. He had apparently just stepped out of the shower for he had on nothing more than the towel he held around him, and he didn't even have on his signature yellow Wario hat.
"What-a you want-a?" he groaned. "You-a big huge oaf, what brings you-a here-- to the Great Wario's Castle?"
"AAAGH AAAGH AAAGH!" Bowser roared.
"What? You want me to-a help you? Eh hehehehehe.." Wario laughs nastily. "I don't-a help you do nothing...eh? How-a about that-a...you big-a ugly goat-looking turtle! Now go-a back to your cave and gloat....you-a fat monster!... EH hehehehehe..."
"AAAAAAH AAAAGH AAAAAAAHGH!" Bowser growled.
"Hmm? Us, together against Mario? Oh? You mean-a I help you-a get Mario? Well...that changes things now-a, doesn't it?" Wario slapped his wet chest and smiled real big. "I am your-a man! Come in-a King Bowser Koopa! Come in-a to my humble abode! We work together..I work-a with you...you work-a with me. Capiche?"