(
(Sean Kelly) peeks into the BOTVGH News studios)
Hello
is anyone there?
(No one
answers)
Good.
(
runs in)
Now
since my normal cameraman, Blob, is doing interviews at the awards,
I will have to use my Cameraman In A Can.
(
pulls out a can, pulls off the lid, and a guy named Bob pops out)
Bob: Hi.
All
right, let's get started.
(Music
plays)
Hello
and welcome to the official BOTVGH Awards pre-show. For the next
little bit until the awards starts, we will have interviews along with
clips of the 8 episodes nominated for best episode. Now let's get this
show on the road.
(Suddenly 
(Squirtlesaur2000) walks behind
holding a sign saying "HI MOM!" And when
turns around
is gone)
All
right, the first clip we have today is for an episode called "Ahh
Sweet Romance", by Wario the III. This episode is a "nice" little
tale
about relationships on BOTVGH island. Let's check out a clip:
Ahh, Sweet Romance!
Ooooh, looks like you guys are getting the cold shoulder. I am the only
guy in this archive who can keep a girlfriend.
(All
of a sudden, 
walks in!)
Mario! So
this is where you are? You said you were just going out to buy
groceries! You never came back! Why you little...!
 Why, Mario,
who is this woman?
I'm Mario's
fiancé, that's who I am!
What? I am
Mario's girlfriend!
Wait, so
he's been off with a little homewrecker?!
I happen to
be the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom!
I am
princess of Sarasaland, for your information!
(
is trying to sneak out the door, but all of a sudden 
walks in with  )
Hey! Look
who I found, Jumpman! Your wife, Pauline! Remember when you rescued
her from me on that building?
and : WHAT!?
What kind
of a husband are you? No wonder your business trips are always
months! What do you spend 4 months with me, then 4 with each little
princess
over there? You always said I was your only princess!
and : You said the same thing
to me!!
Did I come
at a bad time? Good! |
Now we shall go to Blob at the red carpet.
(The view
shifts
to  (Blob))
Hello
the atmosphere is exciting here at the 3rd Annual BOTVGH Awards!
We have a whole bunch of interviews in store for you today. First we
have.....
(Suddenly 
(Joan Rivers) charges in)
Excuse
me but this is my job!
Hey
look it is Joan Rivers, the person who hosts nearly every pre-show
imaginable!
That
is right! And I deserve to do the interviewing here.
Fine,
go ahead...
That
is better. Now with me right now is a guy named Frost Man, who is
nominated for best Video Game Cameo. Mr. Man, how do you feel about
being
nominated?
(
(Frost Man) turns around and looks down at )
What did you say?
Ahhh,
nothing! You can have your job back, Mr. Blob!
(
runs away)
Well
back to you, Sean.
(We go
back to )
All
right. The next clip we have is from an episode called "The
Quest to Save the Past" by yours truly. In this episode the
BOTVGHers
are on a quest in the NES world to prevent Dr. Wily from destroying
video
games as we know it. Let's check out the clip...
The Quest To Save The Past
Ahhhh Jumpman old buddy. How are you doing?
 Fine.
Thank you.
 Hey
Mawio and daddy! Mega Man and some blob guy are here.
Ahh,
Blob and Mega Man. Dr. Light us you that you were coming. You want
me to help you beat Bowser, eh?
 Right on.
Hey where's Luigi?
He
is off crying somewhere saying that he is not treated fairly in our
games or something. I don't know what he is talking about, he has
co-starred
in every game so far. Well, maybe not Dr. Mario, but that was a puzzle
game and it doesn't count.
 You are
some kind of hero Mario.
Yeah.
Who knows..... Maybe one of these days I will wear metallic clothes!
Or
maybe you could put wings on that hat to make you fly better.
What's
wrong with the raccoon tail?!
Nothing!!
Just... wings makes more sense, that's all.
I
would raver prefer that you would wear a cape like Superman.
Who
knows? |
Now back to you Blob.
(Back
to )
All
right, with me right now are the members of Team Rocket.
Team Rocket: Hi!
Team
Rocket. You have two nominations, with the whole group of you being
nominated for Best Recurring Character, and Meowth being nominated for
Best Pokémon. What do you have to say?
 (Meowth)
Well first of all, I say that I have this Pokémon award
in the bag. I know that everybody out there loves bad old me!
 (Jessie)
As for recurring character, we should have no problem getting
that award.
 (James)
Yeah, we have been in far more episodes than any of those other
guys.
Now
if you don't mind we have to go find our seats.
(Team
Rocket leaves)
Well
Sean back to you.
(We go
back to )
Time
for the next clip. This one is for the episode "Trapdoors
of Death" by Tsuji Yamada. With Cow King in jail the cows are
replaced
with... well, trapdoors of death. Let's see the clip...
Trapdoors of Death
So you finally got Mewtwo?
 Yeah!
All it took was a simple Master Ball! (AUTHOR'S NOTE: They're referring
to the original Game Boy version of Pokémon, NOT the TV
show
version...)
Hmph! In my
old days, we didn't NEED to use monsters to destroy the enemy!
Oh, no, we just threw barrels at the bad guys once in a-
 Uhh...
nobody wants to even HEAR about your so-called "old days"...
(Suddenly,
falls through a trapdoor)
Huh? Who
put that trapdoor there?
I didn't...
Neither
did I...
Nope.
Sigh...
well, we'll just babble for a while. |
Now it is time to go back to the floor with Blob.
(Back
to )
All
right the next guy I have with me is Dr. Evil.
 (Dr.
Evil) Hello everybody.
Dr.
Evil, you are nominated for both Best Villain and Best Non-VG cameo.
Now this is for your first BOTVGH season. Do you think that you have a
chance?
Of
course I do. Who is a villain that someone who is
truly....................
evil.
Um,
yes. Well back to you Sean.
(Back
to )
This
is getting repetitive ain't it? Anyway the next clip we have is for
an episode called "I Hate It
When I Am Walking Along
And..." by TD Mak. This episode is a BOTVGH Production gone
haywire.
Let's check out the clip:
I Hate It When I'm Walking Down The Street And...
Hello and welcome everyone to the BOTVGH show of "I Hate It When I'm
Walking
Down the Street and..."! With examples to you live from DK Island of
stuff
that just ruin your day when they happen. No one... I, er, THINK no one
was hurt during this production... heh... heh....
(
tries to pull down a big black square in front of a stage to make it
look
like it's on TV, but the hook's too high)
(standing
on tippy-toes and being no where NEAR the hook) Uh... I can't
reach this thing. Could someone help me out here?!
(
comes down off director's chair and tries to reach it, but she's too
short,
also)
All
right, whose bright idea was it to attach the thing to the ceiling?
No one can reach it!
Where's
someone who can get it down??
(
is brought in)
(
hops on  Coil and yanks on
cord, but then crashes to the ground in a heap, pulling down the
'screen')
Owwwwww....... |
Well...
you guessed it! Back to Blob!
(Back
to )
All
right, we have some surprise guests at the awards with us, Wayne and
Garth from Wayne's World!
 (Wayne)
and  (Garth): EXCELLENT!!!!!
Wayne
and Garth, why did you decide to come to the BOTVGH Awards?
Well
Mr. Blob dude. We decided that it would be very tubular to check out
BOTVGH to see if it is cool enough for us to make an appearance.
But
you are making an appearance now.
Wayne
means we will decide if we are going to make a, you know, "official"
appearance.
and : EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!
Whatever.
All right, back to the guy in the red hat.
(Back
to )
Now
that added a bit more variety. Anyway, the next clip is from "What
the Rocks Are Cookin" by UDX. This episode is a BOTVGH
wrestling
episode will all the trimmings. Let's look at the clip:
What the Rocks Are Cooking
So Rock, I've heard about your partnership with...
(
shows his hand to )
Finally,
the Rock has come back to Kong Island. You know, it has
been a while since I took on Mario and Cranky. Now it shall be fair,
unlike
the last match, when I learned it was scammed by Vince McMahon. With my
new partners Brock and Chunky, The Big Show and his partners don't
stand
a chance against the Rocks. By the way Mr. Reporter Cat, what's your
name?
My name is
Speedy and...
Well
it doesn't matter what your name is. You are just interviewing me
before the big match. The Rock says this, the Big Show is getting what
that Jabroni deserves.
I agree.
You
know what my buds say to the Dudley Boys... They say, you all are a
bunch of Jabronis. All three of us are going to beat your roody poo
candy
*** out. And as for you, Big Show, you are going to feel the pain
of defeat. IF YOU SMMMMMMMEEEEEELLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN! |
Back
to Blob.
(Back
to )
Time
for some more surprise guests. With me right now are Edge and Christian
from the WWF. How is it going guys?
 (Edge)
Just fine Mr. Blob guy. Just like those "dudes" you have just
interviewed,
we are here to further check out the surroundings here.
Now
you guys were just in the final pre-season episode. What did you feel
about that?
 (Christian)
Well that episode was an interesting experience, but we feel
that we have to experience BOTVGH a bit more before we make our final
decision.
Okay.
Back to you Sean.
(Back
to )
The
next clip we have is for "The 3rd
Annual BOTVGH
Olympics" by H Cuz. This is the third episode in which the best of
BOTVGH go for the gold. Let's check out the clip:
The 3rd Annual BOTVGH Olympics
*Another* BOTVGH Olympics?
 There's
a reason why they're called the "Annual" BOTVGH Olympics, Mario.
Don't mind
him... he's still upset over losing last year.
I'm the
star! I'm SUPPOSED to win!!
WHO'S the
star, Jumpman?!
If you have
to ask, it isn't you!
 Listen, the
reason we have Olympics every year is because the readers'
response has been positive!
(grumbles)
Dagnab
things haven't even been exciting! The first two were more one-sided
than the graphics in good ol' 1980's games! Now THOSE were exciting!
Unlike
these so-called Olympics...
(sighs) H
Cuz, WHY can't we shut him up?
It's
not in our contracts. |
All
right, back to Blob.
(Back
to )
Okay
I'm here right now with one of the nominees for best Non-Video Game
cameo, Satan. Satan, how do you feel about being nominated?
 (Satan)
Well if I win at this award, it will help me take over the universe!
Ha ha ha!!!!
Uh.....
yeah! Anyway what was it like appearing in a BOTVGH episode?
Well
when I heard that this episode would be called "Trapdoors of Death",
I had to agree. However the thing I don't like is that my part in the
movie
"Bedazzled" had to be played by Elizabeth Hurley.
What's
wrong with a female playing the devil?
Nothing.
However I really wanted to be in that movie.
Well
you can't always get what you want. Anyway, back to you Sean.
(Back
to )
Our
next clip is for the episode "Smash
Attack Games
2 (Was There a First?)" by Klawkat. This sequel to a classic WOR
episode
features BOTVGH Olympics-style events with an EXPLOSIVE twist! Let's
check
out the clip:
The Smash Attack Games 2
(to himself) If I throw this just right... bye-bye Pikachu!
 (to
himself) Wily thinks I can't see him... what a moron...
Ah,
well. (Throws a  at )
Sigh...
(Throws the back
at )
(
and throw the
back and forth a few times)
Should I
tell them I'm a dud? |
And now we shall once again go back to Blob.
(Back
to )
Well
we have some more surprise guests! With me right now are the members
of the band Green Day. Guys, I guess you are here because of the fact
that
Yoshi singing your song "Basket Case" was nominated for Wierdest Plot
Twist.
 (Billie
Joe) You got that right.
What
are your thoughts of a dinosaur singing your song?
 (Tre
Cool) Actually we thought that it was quite cool.
 (Mike
Dirnt) However that Tsuji guy still didn't pay our licensing fees.
Guys,
do you think that Eminem, a fellow music artist, has a chance of
winning Best Non-VG cameo?
I
not too sure about that Blob.
Well
back to you Sean.
(Back
to )
If
you guys are getting bored don't worry, we are almost finished. The
final clip is from the episode "Mario's
Revenge"
by Braden. In this episode the "Long Lost Mario Brother" arrives
at the archive and Mario is not exactly happy about that. Let's check
out
the clip:
Mario's Revenge
So, Braden, What's with the yellow overalls?
 Don't they
look good on me?
They
look like Wario's.
But
thinner, much thinner...
Well,
that's why I think Wario looks good...
(,  ,  , 
and walk in)
What's that
about me looking good? I know I look good...
(Starts
singing "I
Feel Pretty" from West Side Story)
I feel
pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty and g...
ENOUGH
ALREADY, Wario! We get the point! |
Well
it appears that Blob has one final interview. Let's check it out.
(Back
to )
I'm
here with the recently-paroled Cow King. Now Cow King, you are only
nominated for Best Non-VG Cameo this year. How do you think your
chances
are?
 (Cow
King) Well those rockers back there were right. Eminem doesn't have
a chance. And I believe that I would get a sympathy vote for the fact
that
I was in jail last season.
Are
you upset that you didn't get nominated for a bigger award?
Well
because of last season's pre-season, I was banned from episodes. So
as a result, my appearance at last year's awards was my only chance.
Well
thanks for talking.
It
was a pleasure.
Well
back to you Sean. See you at the awards.
(Back
to )
And
that ends our pre-show. I hope you enjoy the 3rd annual BOTVGH Awards.
(
gets up and puts Bob back into the can, then he looks at his watch)
Woah!
I'm late I have to head on over to the awards!
(
runs to his limousine and notices that it is gone and there is a note)
"Wanted
to arrive in style at the BOTVGH Awards, so I borrowed your limo.
Order another one if you want. SS2K"
(
crumples the letter)
Well
he doesn't know that my limo was the last limo they had! Guess I will
have to walk. Good thing I have a TV on my watch so I can watch the
awards.
(
starts walking and the awards start)
On
to the Awards...
|
