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Rhymes in Shadow By Goldshadow |
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Rhymes in Shadow By Goldshadow |
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Mario, Luigi, Toad, Peach, Link, Zelda, Sahasralah, Ganon Bottom Row: Samus, Mega Man, Dr. Light, Metal Man, Flash Man, James Bond, Goldshadow, H Cuz Not Pictured: Alec Trevelyan |
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is relaxing
in his hammoc near 's castle)
Aaah.
So nice. Toad! Bring me a lemonade!Why do I
have to do it? I'm not your slave!
Oh. Well
that's okay I guess. I was assuming you wanted to be in the
next
Mario game. Oh well. I'll just have to get it myself...
Wait! Don't waste your deep strong muscles getting a drink. I can do
that...
leaves, while chuckles to
himself)
What
a chump. Sigh. Not everyone can be as brilliant as me, I guess.
comes running up to in a
pant)
Mario!
I've got horrible news!
Go away, my
inferior brother. I'm trying to nap here!
Did you
notice there was a lobster in your shorts?
Yeah,
whatever.
Mario..
uh.. you didn't notice? I saw it crawl on you when you were
asleep.
THERE'S NO
LOBSTER IN MY SHORTS!
...Well,
uh, okay. Anyways, we have to save the princess.
We've been
through this. Princess is stolen. I go and beat Bowser, and
retrieve the Princess. The end.
appears)
Mario,
shut up! I'm sick of having to argue with my own fictional
characters.
I have to do this myself.
is standing
up along side with , armed
with a supply of Caps, Feathers, Mushrooms and Fire Flowers.)
Aww
crap, I hate it when you guys do that.
I'm the
author. Now shut up and continue the ep.
Okay Mario,
here's the deal. Today I got up, and went to see Peach, but
all that was left was a ransom note on her throne.
Okay,
what's it say??
(reading):
Your famed Princess Peach is gone If you intend to save your poor pretty You have 'til tomorrow at dawn. Only one person knows the ways of my game Seek out the one who knows much The one from the legend: a story of fame The third tale of Z is as such. And
then it says "Bwahahaha, signed "The Mysterious Poet".
"Bwahahaha"?
Yes,
"Bwahahaha".
How does he
spell that?
Um,
B-W-A-H-A-H-A-H-A.
Um,
okay. I always thought it was "B-U-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H".
Mario... shut up.
Okay.
... So now what?
... We have
to solve the riddle.
What,
that's a riddle?
Apparently.
I kinda assumed it was more of just a dark bit of prose or something.
Maybe
symbolism.
I kinda
doubt that. See the title of the episode.
Fine,
whatever.... Let's get some help.
and have rounded up three
people: , ,
and , to help them on their
quest)
Hey-
Shut up, let Mario talk!
Well...
Hurry up!!
You see...
Get on with it! What'd you bring us here for?
We found
this strange note on the Princess's throne when she had been
kidnapped.
Listen... (Recites the poem for them)
Well that's
weird.
What did he
mean by that?
Let's
see. Third tale of Z? What does that mean. What kind of games
start
with Z??
)
What?
Zombies Ate My Neighbors?
Uh, no,
that had no sequel.
Oh...
I know! Super Mario Bros. 3!
Uhm, that
doesn't start with Z.
It
doesn't?
No.
You sure?
Positive.
Huh, well, I'm not that good of a speller.
...
I see my radiant goodness has swept you into silence.
....
So..
uh... is it... Tetris Attack?
It's
obvious, you moron. Z?? It's Zelda!
Hmm?
Oh... er... um... yeah! I knew that. I just wanted to see if you
guys
could figure it out.
Ugh.
Blondes...
Well okay,
then "The third tale of Z" would mean a Link To The Past.
Sounds good to me. But who's "The one who knows much"?
It has to be me. I'm easily the smartest person in Hyrule!
Or.. not. Let's see. Zelda is very wise. She has the Triforce of
Wisdom,
after all.
Okay, let's
see! (takes out a cell phone and calls up )
Uh yeah, Zelda? I was wondering if you could help us out?
What is it?
Well... you
see... Peach's been captured and--
Shocker.
The kidnapper gave us this riddle, and it says to seek out the "One who
knows much" from Zelda 3. Could you help us?
I have no
idea.
Gee...
thanks a lot...
BUT...
But?
I do know
someone who fits the part. Go find Sahasrahlah, in Kakariko
Village.
He'll help you.
Okay,
thanks! Bye!
Bye. (click)
(to the others) Zelda says we should find Sahasrahlah in Kakariko
Village.
Link, can you show the way?
Sure.
I'll do anything if my love is with me.
Then will
you please shove your Megaton Hammer down your throat??
Sure. I've tasted worse things.
and the others arrive in Kakariko Village)
Well
here we are. Sahasrahlah's house should be up there.
,
who is standing near his house)
I
have been expecting you. Come in. We must talk.
But...
how...?
No
questions. Come in.
These
smart people confuse me.
You
five have a quest to fulfill. Yes I know this mysterious poet, and
I know his game. But you can not win your Princess back until you have
solved the Poet's riddles.
You mean
that's not the only one?
No. There
are still more. I will give you one. Find the destination,
and
you will move on to the next riddle! Here it is, listen carefully...A professor's creation, strong and bold In the great source of power the seekers will find But only with strong will and dilligent mind. Alas,
I can say no more.
Why not?
Some things in this mortal land, only you can fullill your-
WHY NOT!?
Uh, 'cuz
then the ep'd be too long.
Well
thanks, 'Hasra. We'll figure this out yet!
Hmm, body
of metal, heart of gold? Sounds like me.
No,
it can't be. You're only made of metal on the outside, it's not
actually
your body.
)
Could
it be...? Did Link just......?
And I
thought it was impossible.
Wow. Link
actually said something intelligent!
You'd
be surprised what you can find about me when you look a little
closer,
Sammy. My head's so big, the rest of me can't catch up!
Heh, you got that right!
(holding
back a laugh) You're absolutely right Link!
Now
was that so hard?
OK, OK,
let's just get on with it. Does anybody know a good robot to
talk
to?
Well, Mega
Man fits the description pretty well.
Sounds good
to me. Where is he?
I
can help with that. Dr. Light gave me this handheld communicater to
contact
him whenever we need to.
Wow, that
was convenient. And why did he give you that handheld
communicator?
I
won it on Bingo Night at the lab.
gets out the communicator, pushes a button to which
fades in to the small screen)
Link?
Is that you?
Yeah,
it's me. Listen, we need Mega Man.
Umm.... I'm
afraid I have bad news for you. Mega Man's been captured.
What?? By who?!
(grabbing
the communicater away from )
Who took him??
Err..
Samus? Dr. Wily has captured Mega Man, but I have no idea what
his
plans are. His robots sneaked into my laboratory when I was asleep, and
tranquilized Mega Man. They took off to his Skull Castle. In fact I was
just going to call you.
(sigh)
Okay, we'll check it out. Bye.
Bye.
Dr. Wily's Skull Castle should be two miles due north of here. Let's go!
Here
we are. (gulp)
Shhh. They
have sound sensors everywhere. Beyond this point, there must
be complete silence.
No wait. I
gathered these Silent Communicater Links from a friend of
mine
on the way there. Put them over year mouth and ears, and we can
communicate
without being detected.
Okay,
let's go. But how do we get in?
There's
a secret passage through the back door. But be prepared to take out
Wily's
robot guards.
stares at what
appears to be a solid wall)
Here's
the entrance.
What?
I don't see anything!
That's
a solid wall!
No,
it's holographic. But it will only allow us through if we run very fast
head first, so we have to get it right.
Oh
no. I'm not going in.
But
I know it's right here!
No
way. This is an obviously one of Gold's gimmicks. There is NO WAY I am
going to run head-first into a solid metallic WALL.
If
that's the way you're gonna be, I'll go first.
backs up, and then runs head first, disappearing through the wall)
I
guess it is safe. (they all run in with ,
to see and
waiting for them)
Get them!!
(throws out several Metal Blades, one slicing through 's
hat)
Ouw!
Take this! (throws a bomb at ,
sending him sprawling on the floor, while
powers up and sends a huge blast at )
Mama
Miaaa! (throws a fireball at ,
then jumping in for a punch, but
freezes time so that he can get up and
can shoot out blades)
Aaaah!!
)
Mega,
we've got no time for idle chatter. What's your main source of power?
Well
my main power source is located deep in my chest. You would need to
kill
me to get at it.
Okay.
Hey,
what?! Aaaaaahhh!!!
NO!!
WAIT! Let me think. Power might not mean energy exactly- it might mean
just power... the power to destroy!
Well
in that case, I'll check out my energy cannon.
reaches into his arm to find a small piece of paper hidden deep inside)
Awww.
C'mon,
let's go outside before more robots come. I'm sorry I can't come, but I
have to report back to Dr. Light. See ya.
Uhm,
Mario...
*sigh* what?
You still have a lobster in your shorts...
Shut
UP! I do NOT have a lobster in my shorts, for Pete's sake.
Pete?
...
Okay, the note reads:
Before they uncover my face Seek out the sniper who's British and kind But your time is near over so haste Signed,
the Mysterious Poet.
Well that's
obvious. Where's James?
Probably
out saving the world again.
Right
now, he's in the Cradle Mission, having a shoot-out with Alec. We
must hurry! We have less than an hour!
is about ready to jump down the hole to have the final match with 006)
James,
wait!!!
Don't go!
Hmm? What is it? I'm in the middle of one of the most dramatic scenes
in
the entire game! You could've picked a better time!
Sorry,
James, no time. Here, I'll be right back.
jumps down, throws a fireball, than shields himself as Trevelyan fires,
grabs him and throws him off the pad, and all the characters jump
aboard
the helicopter)
Whoa,
Mario, where'd you learn those moves??
(panting)
You can snipe hundreds of guards every day, but it still
won't
add up to late-night Smash Bros. for nine hours straight.
James, we need your help. Do you know anything about the kidnapping of
Peach?
What, she's
been kidnapped again? I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
Do you mean you don't know anything?
Well I did
find this strange note hidden in the barrel of my shotgun,
but
I didn't know what it meant. Here look.
Very
strange. Listen:
My identity I will reveal Because of your ignorance, stupid fool, Your Princess will not heal! For I am the Dark One, The seeker of three. I will not rest 'til I find them One of Power, one of Wisdom, one of courage, oh yes, With my black power I will bind them Give me the Triforce, you insolent fool, Perhaps I will spare your Peach If you rebel and give me no power The Princess will die 'yond your reach. Signed,
the Mysterious Poet.
So, um,
Bond, why did you happen to have a riddle stuck in your shotgun?
That's a long story. It all began, twelve years ago, when I was
surveying
a prison in Moscow...
Wait, wait,
aahhh!
I was young
and impatient then.. I did not want to wait, so I....
Wait! No! No flashback! Please!
So, I...
appears)
>:(
*sigh* Nobody loves me.
disappears)
Mario...!!
What?!
I'm telling
you, you have a lobster in your shorts..
I do not!!!
...So now what?
I'd
know him anywhere. That is Ganon, seeking the Triforce yet again!
Brilliant, Einstein. But where is Peach being held?
Well,
let's see, she's probably stuck in a crystal somewhere, like
Ganon
has the annoying habit of doing. But where could the Princess be? I
must
use my brilliant powers of deduction to figure it out. (thinking)
Umm...
welll... umm... I've got it! Princess Peach is being tied down to the
railroad
track on Mario Kart 64!
What?!
Where'd you get that??
I
dunno. I guess the author got tired of me thinking. Let's go!
...
stands towering above a helpless ,
tied to the track)
Simple
fools. Your friends, the idiots, will quickly trade me the
Triforce
when I'm holding their precious Princess hostage. With the Triforce in
my hand... I shall... um... be... er.... really... um... tough! Yeah!
Ganon! Stop there, foul beast, lest I smite you with my Master Swor--
Oh shut up already. Here's the stupid Triforce Ganon. Now give us the
Princess.
opens his pocket to reveal a bright and sparkling golden triangle,
while
unties )
Thank
you Mario! But our Princess is in another cas--
Don't....
say...... a... word......
All right,
all right, you found me.
Shh! Quick!
Just run along the track. DK will be waiting for you with a
helicopter. Go!
leaves, while is jumping
up and down for joy at having the Triforce, until he tries to cast a
spell
and instead hears some familiar music playing as he becomes shiny)
Huh?
Wha-?
as he
realizes it's just a Power Star carved into a triangle)
Noooooooo!!!!
I must have my revenge!!
's
eyes glow evilly red as he sends a wave of lightning toward the
characters,
who fly backwards and lie paralyzed as
stands over them)
Now
you will feel my wrath! Hahaha!
raises his trident to kill them when he suddenly spots a shadowy figure
in the distance)
What
do you want??? Get out of here, you old fool!
(stepping
out of the shadows and coming close) ...Old fool?
Sahasrahlah!
Get out!
You may be
an ancient evil, Ganon, but I am still old and wise. I know
secrets about you... I have the power to unleash your greatest fear
unto
the world for public display!
....right.
I'm sorry to do this, buuuuut.......
suddenly reveals a yearbook from somewhere within his cloak, 's
eyes grow very big)
Justice
prevaaaaaaaaails!! (Opens the yearbook to find 's
junior year photo...)
, , ,
and : Aaaaaaaah!!!!!!
bows his head in shame)
Nooo!!!
I... I can't.... aaah!!! (jumps aboard the passing train to a
far
away land never to be seen again...)
That was
odd.
Yes,
it was.
Oh
thank you, thank you Mario! You saved me! I'm so happy! I'll bake a
cake for you, Mario!
I hate
blondes...
Yay!
slowly closes in and kisses him on the nose)
*swoon*
*sigh*
Mario,
maybe this isn't the best time, but...
Luigi,
can't you see that I'm soaking in the glory of my own victory?!?!
But, Mario, you.. uhm.......
...
...
O_O
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! MY REAR!!
Well, uhm,
you have a lobster in your shorts.Wow,
that was a pretty good episode.
Really?
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