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Mission: Impractical By Sean Kelly |
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Mission: Impractical By Sean Kelly |
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Mario, Luigi, Cranky, Mallow, Giovanni, Jessie Bottom Row: James, Meowth, Ethan Hunt, Luther Stickell, H Cuz, Sean Kelly Not Pictured: Special Guests (oooooooooooh) |
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getting some rest and
relaxation. You can bet that won't last very long.) (Editor's note: You have no idea.) It's
really wonderful to finally get a rest after all of the things that
go on over here at the archive.
(Suddenly a whole bunch of Team Rocket members surround
and they grab him and they take him away. See, I told you the rest and
relaxation wouldn't last long.)Where
am I?????: You are at my lair. And I believe that you will be staying here for quite a long time! And
who might you be?
(The unknown person walks out of the shadows revealing himself to be !)Giovanni!
Why did you kidnap me?Very
simple. I am going to hold you hostage until I given full ownership
of the BOTVGH Archive by Martin.You
won't get away with this!Yes
I will. Who do you think is going to stop me? If I don't get the
archive,
you will be stuck here for all time!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!
(The scene fades away and the Mission: Impossible Theme plays. Then we go to somewhere in the desert.) What
a nice day to go for a jog.
(Go figure, a person who thinks a dangerous climb up a cliff is a vacation must think that a run through the desert is a morning jog. Sheesh. Anyway,
is trying to catch up to
with an important message)Hey
wait up!!! Huff huff.... I really should exercise more. (drinks a
bottle
of water)What
do you want?I
got an important message for you from the IMF.Where
is it?It
is the following BOTVGH interactive pop-up.BOTVGH
interactive? Now that's new!
(Editor's note: If you can call two and a half seasons old "new".) (
looks at the BOTVGH
interactive pop-up to get his mission. And you readers can't see it
unless you have a JavaScript-enabled browser. Kind of sucks doesn't it?
EEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!! Anyway, after reading the mission briefing,
goes off to recruit his team. Meanwhile,
seems very interested in this mission.)WOW!!!
If I can join the team for this mission it would be my chance to
be a hero. (Looks at himself) However I can't go looking like this. Hey
I know!!!
(
leaves to carry out his plan. Meanwhile
has already gathered a small group of BOTVGHers for the mission)All
right! Has anybody done any impossible missions before?Of
course I have! I am an IMF special agent!You
are? I didn't know that. (takes a look at his agent list) Oh yeah here
it is: Cranky Kong - Master of the Cane.And
don't you forget that! (waves his cane)I
participated in the last mission!Last
mission?There
was a little mission
based on the Mission:
Impossible TV show in season 4.Oh.Well
what is the mission?Um...
one second. Ethan, I thought that you wanted a team of six? Including
me, all I see is a team of five.Well,
these are all the people that I could find willing to do this mission.Now,
where are we going to find a sixth guy? It's not like he is going
to just come walking in through the door any second now!
(Of course, the door to the room opens and a mysterious man wearing sunglasses walks into the room. If he was wearing black leather, he would look just like Bono of U2 during the ZOO TV tour. Well, maybe not exactly like Bono... but somewhat like him.)  They
call me SPKx. And that's S-P-K-X, not Spix.Hey
aren't you the guy who gave me the mission?I
don't know what you are talking about.
(Of course we ALL know who he is) Who
is he?
(I'm not telling. I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T! I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T!) Just
be quiet you whippersnapper narrator!
(Sorry!) Well
can I join the mission or did I come all this way for nothing?How
far did you come from?I
come from Canada!!Hey,
the author of this episode, Sean Kelly, comes from Canada! Do you
know him?Sorry.
I never heard of him.Hey
Mr. X! What does SPK stand for?My
full name is Super Purple Kid X....You're
not wearing purple.It
is just a code-name. I actually have another name with those initials,
but I am not revealing it.Oh.(looking
at his watch) Well, let's take a small lunch break... then we'll
do the planning for this mission.
(So everybody goes off for a lunch break. Meanwhile
has plans other than eating.)What
is taking Martin so long?! He should have given me control of BOTVGH
by now. Something must be up. (Speaks into loudspeaker) JESSIE, JAMES,
MEOWTH GET UP HERE!
( , ,
and , who have been wanting
to get the attention of
for so long, stopped their lunch break right then and there to see what
their boss wanted. Even if it was to clean his toilets they were always
willing to do it for him.)Prepare
for trouble!And
make it double!To
protect the world from devastation...To
unite all.....I
DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE OF YOUR DUMB MOTTO TODAY! I HAVE HEARD IT
WAY TOO MANY TIMES TO STAND HEARING IT ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!Sorry
boss.Now
here is what I want you do to. Go over to BOTVGH Island and see what
is going on over there. Then report back to me. That shouldn't be so
hard.Right
away boss, we won't let you down.We
will go there, and sniff like hounds.I
hope that we don't REALLY sniff like hounds. That would be disgusting!
(Well anyway.... After lunch the group of heroes start discussing how they will save )All
right, here is the plan. Giovanni's lair is here, (points at a map)
at the Viridian City Gym. However, the very high-tech security system
only
allows one Pokémon trainer at a time into the gym so they can
challenge
Giovanni to a Pokémon battle. Mallow, this is where you will
come
in.Yes?You
will head over to Viridian Gym dressed as a Pokémon Trainer.And
what would I do after I get into the gym?You
will find the computer system and attach this to it (hands Mallow a
device)... This device will allow Luther to hack into the gym's system
from here.Yep!Luther
will then deactivate the android guards, allowing the rest of us
to sneak inside.I've
got a question. What do I do after I put the device onto the computer?You'll
fight Giovanni!WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!Well,
we need a way to keep him busy. Don't worry, you will be prepared.
(throws a Poké Ball)
I borrowed this Pokemon from some trainer named Misty. And she seemed
really
eager in lending it as well.
(Editor's note: Three guesses what it is, the first two don't count.) Well,
what do I do?You
and Luigi will find out where H Cuz is being held.How
will we do that?Disguise
yourselves as people close to Giovanni. But make sure the real
people are kept busy or knocked out cold.Sure
thing.Hey
how about me?Cranky,
using your "cane skills", knock out any guard Pokémon that
are around. You never know how many Pokémon Giovanni has stolen
for use in his gym.Now
what do I get to do?SPKx
you will accompany me in rescuing H Cuz.HEY
WHY DOES THE CANADIAN GET THE IMPORTANT JOB?I
don't know. I guess it has something to do with the person who is
writing
this episode.Yep!
Sean does like Canadians. He is one!So
let's get ready to start.
(Everybody goes to get ready for the mission. Meanwhile Team Rocket has been doing some spying. Don't they have anything better to do?) It
looks like everyone is not going to follow the boss's demand!It
also appears that they are going to give H Cuz a hand!Well
what are we waiting for! Let's go tell this to the boss!
(And that is just what they did.) So
the BOTVGHers are going to risk their lives to save H Cuz. Well, let
them! They will never get through my gym alive!Boss
the group also has this new tough Canadian guy.Yeah,
his name is SPKx.And
he seems bad to the bone!A
Canadian? What do I have to worry about some Canadian? They are all
weak
and pathetic!
(Well he is a nice guy ain't he? Sheesh... Well anyway, the plan is getting underway, so let's see how well our heroes do. First,
approaches Viridian Gym dressed up as a Pokémon Trainer.) I
would like to challenge Giovanni!Android Guards With Spears: You may enter.
in. Now, if you saw the Pokémon Cartoon, the guards more likely
were humans instead of androids... however for this story to work they
are androids okay?!)I'm
in! Now to find this computer!
(
looks around and he conveniently finds the computer system and
attaches the device. Back at the archive...)Okay I'm in now!
(
types around on his laptop)Bingo! (speaks into his communicator) Ethan, the android
guards have been
put off-line. I have also turned off the security system so you will
not
be detected.(through
communicator) All right Luther, we are heading in. Please stand
by.Ahhh... now I get to relax for the rest of this episode.
(Well what about me? I have work all the time! Anyway, we will start by going to
in the gym with )So
you think you can defeat me Mr. Mallow!You
are right about that Giovanni!!!Well
we'll see about that! For this fight I will choose... MACHAMP!!!
(
throws a Poké Ball and 
pops out)CHAMP!!!BOY!
That guy looks worse than Goro in Mortal Kombat! Well I hope
I got a good Pokemon.
(
throws the Poké Ball and......) PSY
AYE! AY!Just
my luck.This
will be easy! MACHAMP... SEISMIC TOSS!!!!!
(
does a Seismic Toss which instantly knocks out !
That was quick...)Psy
aye ay..........Oh
boy! Psyduck return!
(
returns to his Poké Ball)I
win. And now you will join your friend H Cuz. It will give me one more
hostage in order to convince Martin to give me the Archive! Ha ha ha!
(Editor's note: Mallow seems to have inconveniently forgotten that he has magical powers and such.) (
grabs and throws
him into 's cell. Meanwhile
at the archive...)Laptop: *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... What! I thought I had the rest of
this episode off!
What's this?
(
looks on this computer screen and panics)(in his communicator) ETHAN! Mallow has just been captured
by Giovanni!(through
communicator) This is bad! Mario and Luigi have to find the cell
fast! But first Cranky has to clear the way! Stand by Luther!!Yep... I'll stand by this time!
(Well let's hope
is right! Anyway, has been
busy clearing the way for
and )Well
this is easy!
(
comes to a bunch of  s)Big
rocks! Ha! Just like golf!
(
hits the s with the back of
his cane and they go flying)Now
what's next?
(
comes to a hall of  s)Piece
of cake!
(
runs by, hitting each of the s
with his cane and making them explode)Next! MUK!!!!What's
with this big pile of slime?
(
bashes the with his cane,
knocking it out and also creating a huge mess!)THIS
IS SIMPLE STUFF!!! KAZAM!!!!Oh
does he think a psychic Pokemon can beat me?
(
shoots a Psybeam at , but
pulls out a mirror... Why would he be carrying a mirror?... And
reflects
the Psybeam right back at
knocking him out)Boy
oh boy! No one can beat me!
(Suddenly
comes up to a sleeping  )Now
how am I going to get past this big fat cat?
(Suddenly
rolls over right onto . Hmmm
fat cat on cranky monkey. Now that isn't something that you see
everyday!)Can
somebody get this cat off of me?
(
comes out of the shadows. Doesn't he hang out anywhere else?)I
will be glad to get Snorlax off of you. Then you will be thrown into
my dungeon!
(
summons off
and then he throws him into the dungeon along with
and . Meanwhile at the archive.....)Laptop: *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* Zzzzzzzzzzzz..... What?! Not the computer again! Now let's
see.....
(
looks at the computer screen and panics onces again. We are seeing a
pattern
here, ain't we?)(in communicator) ETHAN! I just received word that Cranky
has been captured
as well!(through
communicator) This is bad indeed. We have to hurry up with the
plan! I will get Mario and Luigi to locate the cell right away! Stand
by.I will.
(Will he? I don't know. Well anyway, we head on to
and , who will have to find
someone to disguise themselves as)Who
are we going to find to disguise ourselves as in order to get Giovanni
to tell us the location of the dungeon?Beats
me!
(Suddenly
and find a room with
and playing Pokémon
Stadium against each other)My
Arbok will beat your Weezing anyday!Oh
yeah? Take this!and : Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
(Meanwhile in 's
room)Excellent!
I now have the popular cranky monkey as well! Now Martin will
definitely give control of BOTVGH to me!
(
and enter)Um...
boss, could you tell us where the prisoners are?And
why would I tell you that?So
we could... uhh.... torture them!Torture
them. That sounds like a good idea! You will find the dungeon in
the basement. Here is the key (gives
and the key). NOW LEAVE!!!!!!!!
(
and head to the elevator
and after entering they take off their masks revealing themselves to
be
and !)Why
did I have to disguise myself as Jesse?Are
you crazy?!? I would never dress myself up like a girl!Well
anyway we are at the basement... let's go!
(
and exit the elevator and
they go to the cell)Mario!
Luigi! I knew that you would find us!Thank
goodness!It's
about time!It
was all nothing.Now
let's unlock this cell.
(
unlocks the cell using the key. However, just as the cell opens,
and are pushed inside of
it by Team Rocket who were hiding in the shadows. Well that's a
change...)I'll
take that. (takes the cell key from )You
didn't expect that hitting us on the head with our controllers would
keep us out long did you?Yeah
all it took was a quick scratch to wake them up!Quiet
Meowth! Now to go to our boss and collect our reward!Toodle-oo!
(Team Rocket leaves) Now
look at the mess you got us into Jumpman!What
are we going to do!I
know! I will send an e-mail message to Luther using this portable
computer
I have. And hopefully he will relay it on to Ethan and SPKx!Well
what are you waiting for?
(
takes out the computer and writes the message and e-mails it to 's
laptop. Meanwhile at the archive.....)Laptop: *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* Zzzzzzzzz.... What? Oh not this again! Can't a guy get any
rest around
here?
(
takes a look at his laptop and..... you guessed it... he panics!)(on his communicator) ETHAN!! Mario and Luigi have been
captured!(through
communicator) So it is only me and SPKx left.Yeah. Wait.... I'm getting an e-mail from Mario. He is
saying that the
dungeon is in the basement and that Giovanni is in possession of the
key
to the cell.So
me and SPKx will confront Giovanni and take the key in order to rescue
everyone. You deserve a rest Luther. Take one.Sure thing! (falls straight to sleep)
(Well anyway we head on to and
as they go to confront !)Giovanni's
room is straight ahead! Are you ready SPKx?Sure
thing! I have a little back-up with me just in case...What?You'll
see. Just wait.
(
and head on into the room
to confront ! It's suspense
time everybody!)(Editor's Note: This long and suspenseful pause was brought to you by BOTVGH Co. Now back to the episode) So,
it is Ethan Hunt of the Impossible Mission Force and SPKx of Canada!Yeah!
And your plans of taking control of the BOTVGH Archive are now over!I
don't think so Mr. Hunt. MACHAMP, GRAB HIM!
(
comes and wraps his arms around
in a bear hug)Uhhhh!!
I can't move!!!The
more you struggle, the tighter Machamp will squeeze, Mr. Hunt.
(
walks over to )Now
Mr. X! It just you and me!Yeah!
It is just you and me!
(
snatches 's sunglasses) HEY!!!!Ha,
you don't look so tough without your shades! (waves the sunglasses
in 's face) You are
nothing but a pitiful Canadian! In fact all Canadian's are weak! They
always
have been, and they always will be!
(Editor's note: *GASP!* He's............ EVIL!!) That
is what you think Giovanni!!!!!!!
(
waves and  comes leaping
out of the shadows! See, it is now time for the very special cameo that
you have all been waiting for!)Wolverine,
from X-Men?That's
right Giovanni! You are running your mouth off, talking about how
Canadians are weak! Well I am Canadian, (points his claw-like blades
to )
do you think that I am weak?Um..
Well actually... um... no.Just
as I thought!
(
slashes violently with his blades and when he was done,
was left in his underwear! Didn't something like this happen at the
beginning
of the video for Pokémon the First Movie? Except that it
involved
Prof. Oak and an .)Ahhh!!!
This is an outrage!!
(
smiles his normal Sean Kelly smile) Actually
it's pretty funny.Hey!
You ARE the guy who gave me the mission!Yeah...
but don't tell anyone okay?Okay.
NOW GET THIS POKéMON AWAY FROM ME!!!Sure
thing! Wolverine?
(
waves his blades at which
scared it away freeing .
It's nice not to have violence.)Well
thanks for everything Wolverine.It
was a pleasure. Now if you excuse me, I have to leave.
(
leaves, and takes
his sunglasses and puts them back on)Now,
let's go free everybody!!!
(
grabs the key from and
they head over to the basement)JESSIE!
JAMES! STOP THEM!Sure
thing boss!
(Team Rocket chases after
and who have reached
the cell)Finally
we are saved!
(
unlocks the cell)Enough
chit-chat... let's get out of here!I'm
going to leave a bomb that will blow this place up in 60 seconds.That
doesn't give us much time!!!
(
set up the bomb and everybody runs out of the gym just as the bomb
exploded.
Boy were they fast! Too bad Team Rocket wasn't.)Team Rocket: IT LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!!!!!!! (charred
black) It is going to take forever to rebuild this place!
(Back at the archive everyone is celebrating their victory) Well
H Cuz is back safe and sound.No
thanks to you Jumpman!Yeah
actually, it is thanks to SPKx!I
wonder where he is now.
(
walks in)Hi
guys! Did I miss anything today?Well
you did miss a great adventure.Well
that is too bad.Hey
Sean! Do you know this guy named SPKx?I
don't believe that I do. (winks to the readers)Well
anyway let's do what we do best after an adventure.What
is that?LET'S
PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(So everyone parties the night away after a very exciting BOTVGH adventure. And it was a one-part episode as well!) THE END |
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This has been a BOTVGH Production (c). All video game characters are copyright their respective companies. This episode belongs to the BOTVGH Archive and the author.
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