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BOTVGH Education By TD Mak |
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BOTVGH Education By TD Mak |
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Mario, Luigi, Toad, Peach, Mallow, Geno, Kamek, and Yoshi Bottom Row: Bowser, Cranky, Link, Samus, TD Mak, Cow King, and the Chalkbord King Not Pictured: Director, Annoying Narrator Guy |
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and fishing at
the BOTVGH
Lake. Didn't know BOTVGH had a lake? It's been there ever since 
knocked into it.)
Argh, do we even have any fish in this lake??
How should
I know?
I
thought we
had cheep-cheeps!
.......
....Do cheep-cheeps like candy?
....Does candy last in water?
Both: ..........
I can't fish here. You know, I think Ash can fish....
I'm not getting Ash to fish for us.
O.
You forgot an 'h'.
O.
You can't spell.
O.
Yeah, it's the 15th letter of the alphabet.
O Great Fishing Rod, please catch us some fish.
.......
Ha. :P
Idiot. (Hits with
the
fishing string (with a soggy piece of candy at the end), and
turns around to avoid getting hit in the face.)
(turned around) Huh? Why's the camera here? What's that red light?...
(turns around, too) Hey! You filmed that?!?
The episode doesn't start until 2 hours!! Why do you always film us
before
the episode?!
*Blip* (Camera goes off) (The camera goes on again in a kitchen that's somewhat charred black.)
Erm... How's that again, Peach?
(Off screen) You can't cook!
I couldn't hear you! What's that?!
who's in a fancy hotel room, but barred off.)
I said, YOU CAN'T COOK!!!!
I will, you watch!
I still want to know why you want to learn how to cook... Is that
the only reason you captured me?
Uhh... I'll tell you later. What do I do with this piece of beef, again?
Put it in the oven on--
(mumbling to himself while putting it in) Mmmmmm, roast plumber.
--350° for 1--What's that? You lost thhe burner?? How do you manage
that?? I think something's seriously wrong with your kitchen...
Geez, Koopas don't know how to build...
I didn't lose the burner! What I meant was--uh... never mind.
(The entire place is charred.)
Yes, the bars were blown up! I'm freeeee!....
ACK! My kitchen!
It's not like there was much time left, anyway. I think there's an
episode
in 5 minutes.
5 minutes? Then why's the camera on?
The camera's on?!
looks at the camera)
Gaaahhh!!! You didn't record that, did you? Me in my dirty, charred
dress....
;_;
(
grabs a frying pan and runs toward the camera.)
(Uh oh.) *Blip* (Camera off.) (When the screen turns back on, , , , , , , , , ,
and are standing
around with
impatient looks on their faces.)
My kitchen... (Goes off to a corner to sulk)
Where've you been? You're late.
You're late because you were off eating burgers?! Slacker!
Mwahaha.
Why did we bother to wait for that guy?
Because otherwise we can't have any action.
There's action at BOTVGH?
...Not necessarily, but it's good for things like this.
bombards with eggs)
Heheh...
Ow.
suddenly runs in)
Aha! I hear I have an episode going up today!
Yer late.
Yer?
Yer really late.
...Oh. Whoops...
You had plenty of time.
Um....
I had some... important things to do. Yeah, that's it...
flies in in his ship)
Gwahahahahaaa! With my new device, I'll take over--
Nope, sorry, you have to be on-time in order to take over BOTVGH.
Whaaat?! But what about--
Either have one of those little scenes where you present to a couple of
random evil people your evil plan, or tell us ahead of time you're
coming
over to take over BOTVGH.
My kitchen!!!!!!!! (Sulks some more)
Besides, look in the cast! You're not there, so you can't join.
Well, that is, I...
@&*$!!
flies off)
(Looks at ) But next
time
you're late for your ep, we're leaving you out.
........................
goes and puts up a sign off to the side saying, "You're not allowed in
here because you're too late to show up for the ep. So, while you
reading
this, you'll set up a bomb that'll go off very soon. Try again
next
time, and have a nice day. MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!")
Where'd you get that sign?
Ack! Where did you come from?
I teleported in behind you.
Why is everyone late today??
I dunno about anyone else, but my wand was experiencing technical
difficulties.
......................................
The short notice didn't help, either.
...So, about my question?...
Well, plumbing doesn't take up the whole day, y'know, so I have plenty
of spare time on my hands to make stuff... So I make all kinds of
stuff,
'cause you never know when it might come in handy...
What about the bomb? Somebody set us up the bomb!
Oh! I almost forgot!
pulls a bomb out of Nowhere and places it near the sign where it's
really
hard to see.)
You've been making bombs while I've been off saving the world?!
Yep... Heheheh...
My kitchen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What!?!! I wanna stay home and make bombs! Please, Luigi, you can have
my GameCube game and I'll sit at home and make bombs....
Nope... Heheh.....
Nooooooooooo!!.....
Yep, heheh....
Really?
Nope, heheh...
??
Yep, heheh...
Nope, heheh....
??????????
...I'm done now.
How do you pull something out of nowhere?
No, not nowhere. Nowhere, see, it's capitalized. You do that like this.
makes a  appear out of Nowhere)
What in the world?? One minute
I was floating around in Nowhere the next
minute I'm here....
Heyyyy, I think I get it....
pulls
out of Nowhere)
You whippersnapper! I wasn't in Nowhere, I was in my cabin, sleeping!...
walks off, and is heard mumbling "Kids today...." as he does so.)
Oh well...
MY KITCHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shut up about your freakin' kitchen already! It was burned to a cinder!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you know how much those things cost, along with everything
inside!?!?!?!?!?!
It's not like I enjoy being captured just to give cooking lessons,
anyway...
??????
A truly touching comment, Link.
I know. Thanks. You're so nice. Now if only Samus would...
pulls a baseball bat out of Nowhere and bashes
with it.)
Oochies.
I was being sarcastic.
Heyy, I wanted to do that!Uhh... People, could you look
at the title?
According to the rules, I'm not supposed to look there because I'm a
character,
not a reader.
It says, "BOTVGH Education." Your point?
*Gasp* Mario!
What do you mean, "So?" Does this look like education to you?
Umm... Sure. It's educational in doing... random stuff.
Educational?? This is BOTVGH! People go here to get away from school
and
all that stuff, and you're bringing it back?!
Yes.
Eeeevillll. XD
C'mon everyone, read what's in your scripts!
My dog ate my script...
You have a dog?
Er... Well...
Hey Samus, you asked me a question! Does that mean you'll--
grabs 's
bat
and bashes with
it)
Probably not.
*Ahem* I have something to say.
That's nice.
Hey look people, if you finish the episode early, you get ice cream!
Everyone except :
Yay!
Hey Geno, it's ice cream! Be happy!
I'm a doll, for gosh sakes.
I thought you had wooden taste buds.
Oh, uh, yay.
Director: With more feeling, Geno, more feeling!
....Yay!
Director: Muuuch better.
Hey, where's Luigi?
Heh heh heh... Serves him right.
sets her watch.)
OK, if you're done before my watch beeps, you get ice cream.
How do you have an educational BOTVGH episode? Isn't that an oxymoron?
Like this!
appears.)
This joke goes wayy too far...
falls on )
Ow. (Climbs out from under the .)
pulls out a pencil and begins to write on the .)
*SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* (Everyone except
clasps their hands to their ears.)
You idiot, you don't use a pencil on a chalkboard!
....
You use chalk! That's why it's called a chalkboard!
....
Hello?
....Is someone trying to say something? I think I've gone deaf.
A deaf author... this could prove interesting....
What? Hey, good, it was only temporary. So... what to do...
's
watch beeps.)
My poor, poor kitchen....
What?! We only had 2 minutes!
Heheh, just testing.... (Re-sets her watch.)
You know, the board came with some chalk.
picks up the chalk and writes on the board, "2+2=4")
Now, let's... analyze this.
You see, if you have two apples, and you're sure you have two because
you
counted them, and you take another two apples, and your sure there are
two apples 'cause you counted them, too, and you put all the apples
together
and you count them, you have four apples. Therefore, 2+2=4.
(
goes to sleep,
watches
her, and
begin to play cards,
stuffs
his face with food,
twiddles
her thumbs, takes a
hacky
sack and plays with it,
pegs with s,
and everyone makes a lot of noise.... But
doesn't notice.)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
hey, sams! U sownd like a bee! I laik bees! "Zzzzzzz..." haha! get it?
(Snores)
Argh, my legs are too short for this. (Throws the hacky sac up and
down,
instead)
Mmphgrmphmphfff (Accidentally spits some food onto )
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yoshi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry.
(Looking at cards): Ummmm... Hit me.
aims his cannon.)
No! Give me a card, geez.
Awwww...
This is great target practice, we should do this more often.
(involutarily stomping on s):
Any questions?
Dangit!
(who couldn't think of something to do and was actually paying
attention):
What about if you have 2 oranges and 2 apples. Then you don't end up
with
4 apples...
Well... um... quiet! You're getting a zero for that!
What?!
On to Science...
Now see, you're made up of... particles. And the particles... move
around,
except when you're standing still, I think. But you don't want to stand
still, because otherwise you'll get hit and lose a life. (Steps on some
more s)
Grrrr.... (Throws  s
at )
kicks the s away
involuntarily.)
(Meanwhile)
and : Spit.
spits on .)
You and your stupid saliva.
Where's my popcorn?....
...............
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... Whheeeewww.....
hei sam--
throws the hacky sack at .)
Awch.
Mario, can we move on to spelling? Link here can't spell "Ouch."
I am Mr. Mario. But yes, as a video game character I don't know
much about Science, so, um, sure.
How do you spell pneumonoultramicro-whatsit?
Uhh... That's another zero!
Hey!!
On to geography...
suddenly comes out of his cabin)
What is this racket?! I can't sleep in here!
(looking up from his card game): Good! You don't deserve any!
Ooh, thanks for ignoring the game, I won big time! Heheh!
Grrr...
Settle down, settle down, I'm trying to teach a class here!
You're trying to run a class?? Bah, there's no respect here. Why, back
in my day......
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........
Oh, just give me that. (Takes the chalk from
and shoves him into one of the desks that randomly appeared at some
point)
Quiet, you whippersnappers! (Bangs his cane on 's
desk.)
's
desk collapses.)
Aaaaaahhh!!! My desk! That's destruction of property! You
are on the way to destruction! Ha ha ha ha!
Quiet, Jumpman, or I'm lowering your grade.
MY NAME IS NOT--
hits with his cane.)
: ....
Zzzzzzzzzz....(muttering):
Isn't that student abuse?....
That's
the way to get discipline in a classroom!
Now, starting with the basics of Math, what happens when you add a
regular
Nintendo with another regular Nintendo?
A load of junk.
Hey, I think I had a game for that!
You're all wrong! I knew you didn't know anything! The answer is 2
regular
NIntendos! Now, since you didn't know that, you get extra homework....
groans.)
(whispering): Why are you groaning? Unless there's a sequel, we'll
never
have to hand it in!
Peach, no talking in my class!
OK, in Science, who here knows why Jumpman can jump so high?
raises his hand.)
Yes?
Who's Jumpman?
hits with his cane.)
Stop trying to be a wise-guy and answer my question, dag nabbit!
Anyone else?
Everyone: ..........................
The answer is because he has springs in his shoes. You kids are too
under-educated.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Don't give away my big secret!! You'll
cost Nintendo loads of money!!
I can't believe any whippersnapper couldn't just figure that out. Yeesh.
All right, how do you spell "what"?
hay samy wut r u doin tday i leik u i dink ur kewl
Link, no talking in my class! I'm lowering your grade!
but u dun lor peachs
graid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(hits with his
cane):
Quiet!!
................awch.............
raises his hand.)
Yes?...
Can I beat you up?
No.
Geography! Now, where are we?
Right here.
....Very good. Now--
Someone people are cutting class! I feel it in the air!
Ummm... How?
Beacuse it's........................................
............................. Dag nabbed
fool!
Cold.
...Where's Kamek?
...And TD Mak?
(yawns): Huh? Cutting class? I like scissors...
looks to
see
far off in a remote corner with a sheet of paper.)
(Everybody except and
goes up for a look.)
Huh? Where's everyone going? I better follow.... (Runs off)
What are you doing?
Uhhhh.... Some important work... Yes....
What's that sheet of paper?
...My masterpiece.
Let's see. (Grabs the paper)
No, wait!
looks at the masterpiece)
Hey, even I can do better than that! Haha!
(shouting from a far distance): Hey, get back here! You all flunked!
Not
like I would've passed you anyway, but you all flunked!
Where's Kamek?
He must've teleported off.
Hey Samus, you're awake! You know Sammy, you're the love of my life,
you
restore my spelling capabilities...
blasts him.)
Ouch.
See? I told you!
Huh?
's
watch beeps.)
(
teleports in.)
Hey, are we done with the episode? Does this mean we get ice cream?
But you didn't even do anything! You were late, missed the main part of
the episode, and now expect ice cream??
Hey, I'm a villain. And besides, life isn't fair.
hits with an egg.)
Oochities.
Oochities?
Oochities.
We can get ice cream as soon as the ice cream truck comes around.
But there is no ice cream truck on the island!
Oh well...
(eyes light up): I'll make some!
But your kitchen exploded!
Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
makes some ice cream appear.)
There, I contributed to your ice cream.
Yay!
You're the author, you don't get any. (Knocks
out of the way)
Hey!
comes
and sweeps away.)
.................I wasn't here. (Vanishes)
,
who got angry and went back to bed.)
Hey wait, you can't end now, I didn't get to say anything!
falls on .)
Ahh, sweet tradition.
falls on .)
HEY!!!!!!!!!
Heheheh...
falls on .)
(
and get into a
fight, and
large amounts of s
and s are dropped.)
You're such a copy of me! Die!!
You're an insult to education! Die!!
(......................................) (We need a good ending line, people!)
Ummm... This ice cream tastes good. Chocolate is the best.
No it isn't, hazelnut is!
What's hazelnut?
A nut that's hazel, of course.
Buy Nintendo! |
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This has been a BOTVGH Production (c). All video game characters are copyright their respective companies. This episode belongs to the BOTVGH Archive and the author.
