"Battle Of The Video Game Heroes" Proudly Presents:
Episode 14
Big Trouble, Plastic Men
By Sean Kelly
THE CAST
Top (and Only) Row:
Mario, Luigi, Toad, Cranky, Dr. Wily, Sgt. Hawk (a.k.a. Sarge), Col. Grimm, General Plastro
Not Pictured Here:
Various surprise cameos...

 
(We are going to start today's BOTVGH adventure at the camp of the notorious Tan Army!)
Men. We have a new plan in our quest for total world conquest! We shall seek to take over that Battle Of The Video Game Heroes Archive!
Tan Soldier: Um sir, I've got a question. Why do you want to take over BOTVGH?
That is simple my minion. We shall use BOTVGH's episodes in order to lure people into uniting with the Tan Army, which will lead to total world domination!
Tan Soldier: Umm... How would a few people reading over the Internet help you with taking over the world?
('s wise advisor comes up. You see, 's advisor is the person who comes up for his plans but never really gets any credit. Now is the chance!)
's advisior: Well I can answer that question. The episodes will lure the readers to uniting with the Tan Army... that of course has already been said. However the episodes will also get the readers to lure their friends who will then lure their friends, friends who will then lure their friends, friends' friends, friends' friends' friends, and so on until every single being in the world will be loyal to the Tan Army!
Tan Soldier: That's very interesting. However I just have one more question.
What is it?
Tan Soldier: Well the BOTVGH Archive is in the real world. And well... aren't a bit small to really do much damage over there?
(Editor's note: Depends on how you define "real world"...)
Well I am quite glad that you have asked that question. You see no one will be at the archive when we arrive to take it over. I plan to trap them all right here at our base!
Tan Soldier: And how do you plan to do that?
I have been doing some dealings with a guy in the real world by the name of Dr. Wily, who equally wants control of the BOTVGH archive. Dr. Wily has given me a device that will shrink the BOTVGHers down and send them through the portals right into our prison cells leaving us free to take control of the Archive! Enough moping around, men! Head to the nearest portal to Dr. Wily's lab and we shall start posting our Tan Army episodes first thing tomorrow!
(The Tan Army departs to pull off their plan. However a Green Recon Soldier is watching every move and he quickly leaves to report to )
Green Recon Soldier: Col. Grimm! I have just saw that Plastro plans on taking over the BOTVGH Archive using some device that will warp everyone into the Tan Army's prison cells!
This is serious indeed! Put yourself up for accomodation son.
(Recon Soldier leaves)
Now I have to talk to Sarge. (Speaks into his loudspeaker) Sgt. Hawk, report to my office immediately.
(, being a noble soldier in the Green Army, rushes up to see what his boss wants)
Yes Colonel?
There is a serious matter going on with the Tan Army. It seems that Plastro wants to take over the BOTVGH Archive, so he can use it to help him in his plan to take over the world. Sarge, head over to the BOTVGH Archive and rally up some troops to defend the Archive.
YES SIR!
( heads over to the nearest portal leading to the archive. Meanwhile at the archive...)
Hey look guys! I found a bucket of Army Men!
Then let's play with them!
(Suddenly the bucket of Army Men shakes and the lid pops open and  jumps out. Which, as you'd expect, is be pretty shocking to everyone else)
Wow! It's Sarge!
Good day to you Mario.
Now why is a little plastic toy walking and talking? It is not normal, I tell you. You see, back in my day....
Be quiet Cranky and let Sarge talk!
Thank you. Well anyway, I am here because there is a huge plan by General Plastro to zap everyone at the archive into the Tan Army prison cells using one of Dr. Wily's machines, so the Archive would be free for the Tan Army to take over. I was sent here to rally up some troops to stop Plastro and save the Archive. Who's with me?!
( puts on his military officer helmet ())
I am ready to risk my life to serve my country. Right, Lieutenant Luigi?
Sure thing Mario!
How about you Private Toad?
I am willing to risk it all.
Well let's go men!
Just one second!
( comes out dressed as a general ())
You are under my command, so you leave when I tell you!
Well what are you waiting for? BOTVGH Battalion, march!
(The BOTVGH Battalion marches off. Meanwhile the Tan Army is getting ready to zap the BOTVGHers)
Dr. Wily, how long will it take...........
(Suddenly the film from the movie projector tears and we are left with a blank screen in the theater. A few seconds later the shadows of a couple of creatures with pointy ears appears on the screen and they start making shadow puppets on the screen, then they start putting on their own movies.)
Projection Room operator (to bellhop): Gremlins have invaded the Projection Room and they are not letting me continue the BOTVGH episode!
Bellhop: Boy oh boy this never happened since the movie Gremlins 2. It has to be a result of them being cut from the plot of the original version of this episode. I'll try to find someone to help.
(The Bellhop goes into the theatre and he approaches someone who is sitting in the theatre)
Bellhop: Umm... Sir, can you help us out with our Gremlin problem?
(The person nods and he gets up revealing himself to be The Rock ()!)
(talking up to the Gremlins in the projection room) All right you green slimey jabronis! You think that you can ruin The Rock's night of entertainment? Well, The Rock does not thinks so. The Rock asks.... no, The Rock DEMANDS that you put back on "Big Trouble, Plastic Men" or else he will go up there and kick both of your candy @$%'s! IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK....................... IS COOKING!
(After 's promo, the Gremlins put the episode back on. What a relief!)
Dr. Wily how long will it take to zap the Archive?
The archive should be zapped in a period of 5 minutes.
(Suddenly Green Virus () jumps out of 's nose and lands on the table! That's quite a surprise, and it is also quite disgusting!)
I did it! I am in a BOTVGH episode! Wow this is neat!
(Editor's note: Of course, Sean couldn't have predicted Green Virus's appearance in Ep 12... ah well.)
Green Virus? He must be a spy for the Green Army! After him, men!
(Tan Soldiers start chasing after )
Uh-oh! I guess I just wore out my welcome! See ya!
( gets out of there as fast as his little legs can take him. Meanwhile the BOTVGH Battalion has reached 's lab)
Plastro! Stop what you are doing by order of the Green Army!
You didn't expect me to give up so easy, did you Sgt. Hawk?! Men, after them!
(The Tan Soldiers start charging the BOTVGH Battalion)
All right men! Bring out your brooms!
Brooms?
NEVER QUESTION AN ORDER! GOT THAT?
Yes sir!
(The BOTVGH Battalion takes out their brooms. Now don't ask me why they had brooms with them.)
Ready. SWEEP!
(The BOTVGH Battalion starts using their brooms to sweep up the Tan Army!)
No!!! Tan Army RETREAT!!!!!!
(The Tan Army retreats right behind  and )
As you can see your efforts were for nothing.
Yeah! The device will be going off in about 30 seconds.
( looks on the timer)
He's right! What are we going to do?
We're doomed!!!!
No we aren't!
Actually he's right! The blast will miss you guys.
THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!
Then what did you mean?
This!
( charges at the device, pointing it right at the Tan Army and  just as it goes off. Good timing!)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
(Meanwhile at the Tan Army prison cells)
's Advisor (looking at his watch): The device should have gone off by now!
(Suddenly the Tan Army and  appear in the cell)
Why is it alway me?
's Advisor: Boss what happened?
It doesn't matter what happened! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!
(Meanwhile back at the Archive...)
BOTVGH Battalion. As a result of your bravery you have saved the BOTVGH Archive. As appreciation for your efforts, you will be awarded these medals.
( puts a teeny weeny plastic medal on , , , and )
The Green Army salutes you!
(,  and the rest of the Green Army... and they all fit within a 3 foot radius by the way... saluted the BOTVGH Battalion as we end yet another BOTVGH adventure!)
THE END

This has been a BOTVGH Production (c). All video game characters are copyright their respective companies. This episode belongs to the BOTVGH Archive and the author.