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Are You Ready For Some Football?! By Braden |
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Are You Ready For Some Football?! By Braden |
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Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, Yoshi, Kamek the Ref, Wario, Bowser, Donkey Kong, Cranky Kong, Diddy Kong, Tiny Kong, Chunky Kong, Lanky Kong Second Row: Kirby, Link, Samus, Mega Man, Dr. Wily, Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu Third Row: Psyduck, Jessie, James, Meowth, Red Virus, Yellow Virus, Blue Virus, Green Virus, John Madden, Dan Marino, Sean Kelly, Goldshadow, Jes, ErekChee Bottom Row: Braden, H Cuz, Klawkat, Dan, J26, Tizzy557 (owner of BOTPH), Diskmaster, UDX, Sir Goodn, David123, Luigi_Link (debuts in a few weeks), TD Mak, Cow King Not Pictured: Martin Smith |
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Hello everyone!(angry) Hello.Why are you so mad?We want our rights as a part of BOTVGH!We have been forced through much
physical pain because of you authors!But I don't do that!You're just as bad as the other
authors! We are revolting!You authors are scumbags! I've had too
many injuries!
with pitch-forks in hand)Wait, what are you doing?PAYBACK!)STOP!What now?We can resolve this.Yeah, right.Since Nintendo loves Mario Sports
games, why don't we have a game of Mario
Football?All right...Authors VS Actors, um Heroes. The team
that wins gets control of BOTVGH.This sounds good.
enters)Braden! What are you doing? Are you
crazy?!?(whispering to ) Just trust
me.We'll see...I must go and prepare my All-Star
Authors to kick your butts.Give me a break. We aren't called
Video Game Heroes for nothing!Are you sure about that? Come on H
Cuz, let's go.
and leave)Guess who I have as our coach?I don't know, Klawkat?No, the great Dan Marino!You're kidding me, Dan Marino!?! I
would have hoped it'd be Brett Favre...
oh well.I'm positive that we'll cream those
egotistical losers.I like this...
gathers his team of authors and has a meeting with them and
on a practice field)Okay. We got a big game coming up
against Mario's Team. Braden will be
Quarterback, he has good QB skills...Um, Mr. Marino?What?Can I be the kicker?Well, let's see what you got. Take a
shot at a field goal from the 50 Yard
line.
kicks it straight through)H Cuz kicks that ball goodly!Excuse our friend here. He's got a
little grammar problem. He also wants
to be waterboy.Uh, yeah. H Cuz is our Kicker. Klawkat
is our Waterboy?Looks like it.I miss Shy!Good tastes water! Football Marino Dan
legend!(whispering to himself) Now, how can I
ruin the game?Ruin the game?D'oh!What are you talking about?Nothing.This looks like this is going very
well...That's what you think.
forms a team and has a meeting with them on a practice field)Okay. I'm quarterback. Who wants to be
Wide Receiver?I can jump high to catch the ball! I
should be WR!Oh yeah, I can reach farther with my
tongue! I should be WR!You'll eat it though. I should be WR!No, I should!I should!Hold your coconut guns! There are two
wide receivers in the game! You both
can!I'm still better.Mama-mia!
is talking with his team)So this is their pathetic lineup.They actually think that they are
going to win with Cranky as their coach?!?Toad probably can't kick for beans!Look, you guys are thinking that this
will be way too easy.So?Pikachu is an agile runner. He'll be
hard to stop.No problem!What about the high jumping Luigi at
Wide Reciever?A fameless Luigi's for reason.What?Luigi's fameless for a reason.But Wario, DK and Bowser on the line
of scrimmage must be hard to stop.I know you're a football legend and
all, but they're no match for us!Do you guys know what's on the line if
you lose?Look, this is not the first time that
they've complained. We can handle
it.I hope you're right...
reveals the Authors' roster)Voila! Here is their starting lineup.Holy cow! Dan Marino!We're done for!Pika! Pika! Pikachu! (We better give
up now!)So that's why Braden was so sure that
he'd win.I might as well be a cheerleader for
the authors!Shut up everyone! As your coach, I
want you to stop worrying cause we'll
win!Cranky, we've lost.Jumpman, snap into it! (Whacks
with his cane)We have a GIRL playing Tight End!!!
punches in the gut)Excuse me, but there is a GIRL on the
other team too, and I am the best
TE that you'll EVER find.So dreamy...
punches in the gut)Girl Power!Shut up Peach, you're just a
Cheerleader.
starts to cry)Hey you guys! I'm singing the
Canadian, American and BOTVGH National Anthems
at the game! I better practice!Not here you won't.We don't have any substitutes for the
game!!All we have is Peach and Luigi's
Poké Ball.Luigi's Poké Ball?Luigi said that it may come in handy.It's Luigi's Psyduck. It won't.Oh.OH MY GOSH! Everyone: What? Is that Dan Marino as their coach?We figured that out a long time ago,
you idiot!Who are you calling idiot?YOU!
and start to fight)We are doomed.Look, I want you to shoot one of the
Video Game Characters during the match.?????: Who? I don't care! Someone that looks
useless, so that they'll stop the match.?????: What evil will that do? The Authors and Heroes will continue
their grudge, and that will make it
that much easier to take over BOTVGH!?????: What do I get for doing this? Well, you can have Iceland when I take
over the world, but I'll give you
this too to satisfy you now.
hands money to ?????)Don't disappoint me. Mwahahaha!
Mwahahaha!I got $200 on Mario's Team! I'd like
to kick those authors square in the
&@!^$!Me and Stan have $500 on Braden's
Team! Go Authors go!Mrphhrphr, hmphrphrmphr!!! (This game
is to die for!!!)Yo dude, I wouldn't say that!Hey Misty?What?Where's Brock?Probably going to the washroom or
getting some snacks.Yeah, you're probably right.Hey look, there's DK on the field
getting ready!So what? They shoulda picked me for
Running Back.They shoulda picked me for Wide
Receiver. I can catch much better than
Luigi or at least Yoshi!Chunky mad that Chunky not Linebacker!
Makes Chunky mad!Calm down and enjoy the game! Anyways,
Cranky's the coach!Cranky?!? Disregard my comments then.
GO AUTHORS!I still can catch better than them...Chunky not mad no more. Chunky likes
author team.I'll just sit back, and enjoy the
BOTVGHers destroy each other!No evil plan to ruin the game?You're actually going to do nothing
and enjoy the game?Yes!Are you crazy?Welcome to Fox MFL Football! Today is
the big game between the Heroes and
the Authors. I'm John Madden along with the famous Cow King.Great to be here. Standing at the
field is BOTVGH legend Sean Kelly.First off, who do you think is going
to win?Well, Dan Marino has prepared his team
well. They have an offense that
is very good.So you pick the Authors?Not necessarily. Pikachu is a fast RB
who'll be hard to stop. Luigi and
Yoshi will be threats due to their abilities. Their front line seems
unstoppable.So you pick the Heroes?I don't know. It's a toss-up for me. I
say Heroes, but just barely.I disagree. Think of all the great
players on the Authors team. Braden,
H Cuz, Diskmaster, Martin Smith, UDX, etc... so many great players! I
pick
the Authors in a landslide!Wow.Dan Marino makes the team even more
dangerous!Good point.Wario from the Heroes is singing the
national anthems, but first, the starting
lineups!Announcer: Now for the starting lineup for Braden's All-Stars!
Announcer: Oh... And Jes too. Announcer: And now, the starting lineup for Mario's Heroes!
Announcer: Please rise for the Canadian, American and BOTVGH National Anthems.
sings Canadian and American Anthems)Battle of the Vi-deo Game
He-e-e-e-e-roes.Land of Wise Cracks and Ninten-en-en-en-en-do! The authors are the best, hard to say about the rest. In every episo-o-ode, craziness is the mo-o-ode. The authors put the heroes in excruciating pain, Me-e-anwhile the he-e-roes are all going insane. Battle of the Vi-deo Game He-e-e-e-e-roes, Where every Nintendo fan wants to be! ALL TOGETHER NOW! Battle of the Vi-deo Game He-e-e-e-e-roes. Land of Wise Cracks and Ninten-en-en-en-en-do! The authors are the best, hard to say about the rest. In every episo-o-ode, craziness is the mo-o-ode. The authors put the heroes in excruciating pain, Me-e-anwhile the he-e-roes are all going insane. Battle of the Vi-deo Game He-e-e-e-e-roes, Where every Nintendo fan wants to be! Yes-siree! Uh, thank you Wario...Let's get on with the game! Here's the
coin toss!Our head referee is Kamek!, ,
and go to the coin toss)I want a fair match today. Mario, call
the toss.
tosses the coin)Tails!It's tails. Kickoff or receive?Receive.H Cuz with the kick!Holy Cow, um, Chicken! That was a huge
kick!Pikachu catches it at the Mario 2 yard
line... Pikachu's in trouble and...Fumble! Luigi_Link recovers the
football in the end zone and it's a touchdown!Looks like Pikachu's hurt!
runs on the field to aid )My Pikachu! Oh no!?????: A-ha! There's a useless VG Character! )Yes!!!Oh my gosh! Is Ash dead?I guess he is. Oh look! It looks like
Pikachu's all right after all. Oh
well, let's continue the game. away to the dump)D'oh!?????: Ah shoot. I might as well reveal my identity and enjoy the rest of the game... )Now where can I get a good ham
sandwich?H Cuz's kick for the point is good.Braden 7, Mario 0What a great start to the game!Holy !@#$, you guys are wierd.One only Braden the is wierd who's.What?Braden is the only one who's wierd.Oh, okay then. Wait! Who are you?I am the Red Virus. Me and my buddies
are your cheerleaders.The authors rule!They can't be beat!GOOOOOO AUTHORS!Just how did Braden convince me to
coach?Back to the game, H Cuz with the
kickoff... another beautiful kick!Kirby returns it this time, to the
Mario 15 Yard line, 1st and 10 for Mario.Mario's about to take the snap.N64! N64! HUT HUT!Mario passes to Yoshi and he bobbles
it incomplete. 2nd and 10.I told you that I was a better WR!Oh, just shove it! Let's see you try!Mario in shotgun... passes to Luigi...
spectacular catch in double coverage!A gain of 17 yards, 1st and 10 at the
Mario 32!Told ya so, Yoshi!Ehhh, shut up!It looks like someone is a little
jealous of Luigi.
There's a first for everything, John.Back to the game, Mario hands it to
Pikachu. He runs for a gain of 5.Mario's set in the shotgun again,
passes to Yoshi... INTERCEPTION BY BRADEN!!!He's running to the 30... 25... 20...
15... 10... 5... TOUCHDOWN Braden!Yoshi's starting off really badly.H Cuz's extra point is good. We gotta
take a commercial break. Stay right
here, cause this is exciting!Braden's All-Stars 14, Mario's Heroes
0.Welcome back to the football game
between the Authors and the Heroes.The authors are winning by 14, just in
the 1st quarter!H Cuz, kicking his third kickoff of
the quarter, sends it far again, but
a little too far. Kirby catches it in the end zone, touchback.Sean Kelly is down at the field ready
to interview Cranky Kong, the Heroes'
coach.So, Cranky, do you think that the two
touchdowns were flukes?Bah, no way. Yoshi sucks, Jumpman
sucks, Pikachu sucks, we're doomed!Luigi did make a spectacular catch
though.He can't do diddly if all the others
suck as much as they do now.Back to you John.1st and 10, Mario hands it off to
Pikachu and he has an opening! He is
tackled after a 21 yard gain!I suppose this may be a turning point.Mario in shotgun... passes it to
Luigi... Complete! 34 yard gain!I bet Cranky's regretting that he said
what he said.The clock's ticking down, nearing the
end of the 1st...The snap, Kirby rushes for 6 yards.The defensive line is putting a lot of
pressure on Mario.2nd and 4... Mario snaps... Back to
pass... SACKED by David123! A loss
of 8 yards!I heard that hit from way up here!3rd and 12... Mario snaps... Back to
pass... Passes to Samus... Complete!
But short of the 1st down, a gain of 10.Now for Toad to kick the 27 yard field
goal.It's up and... no good! Wide to the
left!So it remains 14-0 at the end of the
1st Quarter. We'll be back after these
messages.'s
Ab Klaw)Well it seems like a lot happened
during that long commercial break. Braden's
Team scored three more touchdowns to lead 35-0 and now it's Halftime.One happened on a 78-yard bomb to Dan,
one happened on a sack fumble return
by J26 and the last one, just before halftime, was a 66-yard TD run by
UDX.Well, we're ready to begin the second
half! Toad is ready for his first
kick of the day.He kicks it far... way too far! In the
crowd, hitting a spectator in the
head.D'OH!1st and 10 at the Author 20-yard line.
Braden snaps... passes to Dan...
30 yard gain, first down!It looks like Link is hurt!OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! My knee! I can't
play!(sarcastic) Poor baby!Quiet Samus... I'm putting you at his
position!WHAT! LEFT TACKLE?! ARE YOU KIDDING!Nope. You'll be Tackle. Kirby will be
Tight End and... Psyduck will be
Running Back.'s
Team: Psyduck?!?Let's see what he can do.Psyduck! (I'm playing!)So, Psyduck is RB! Cow King, what do
you think?Dumb move. The heroes truly are doomed.Back to the game, 1st and 10, Braden
hands it off to Diskmaster... finds
a seam! He's at the 30, 25, 20, 15, 10, 5, ANOTHER AUTHOR TOUCHDOWN!Big mistake by Samus to let a big hole
open for Diskmaster.H Cuz's kick is good. 42-0 Authors.Sean Kelly is with Dan Marino right
now...Did you expect this kind of game?No. I didn't realize how pathetic
these heroes are.Well, are you impressed by your author
team?They are playing well. They're making
good plays. It also helps to have
a good QB like Braden.Does this remind you of your last game
against the Jacksonville Jaguars,
except that you're on the other end?
What? No! Don't remind me of that! It's a bad memory! 62-7... no! Get
outta
here!Well, that was interesting. Back to
the game, H Cuz kicks another beautiful
kickoff to the 1 yard line. Return by Pikachu of 15 yards.I bet you that Psyduck will fumble the
ball.1st and 10... handoff to Psyduck... no
gain. It looks like he got a good
hit on the noggin on the last play.Uh oh, the authors are in trouble!2nd and 10... handoff to Psyduck...
opens a big hole! to the 20, 30, 40,
50, 40, 30, tackled at the 26-yard line! 60 yard gain, finally tackled
by Martin!Finally, some offense! They're at
field goal range.1st and 10... Mario back to pass...
another incompletion by Yoshi!Yoshi's having a bad day.2nd and 10... handoff to Pikachu...
gain of 1.Key down coming up. Cranky signals a
timeout. Let's listen in on them.Okay, you whippersnappers! Do this
right!Psy-ay-ay. Psyduck-psy? (I didn't know
what I was doing! Was I good? Was
I good?)Yes, very good.That's my Psyduck!Pass the ball to Luigi! Jumpman! Pass
the ball to Luigi! Got it?Yeah, whatever.Psyduck and Pikachu will block the
blitz. Alright?Pika! (Okay!)Psy! (Okay!)Now get back out there!So it's 3rd and 9 at the Author's
25... Mario snaps... SACKED!!! By TD
Mak! Loss of 10!4th down, and Toad will be going for
the field goal. The kick... high and
straight.What the! No good! The goal post
moved! Who did that?That's the strangest thing I've ever
seen! Who was behind that?Oh well, it's still 42-0. Oh look! The
goalpost is turning into... ErekChee???They said that they needed a goalpost
for the game. I volunteered. (Achoo!)You cheated! You moved when Toad was
going to get the field goal!Look, Cranky! I can't control my
allergy problem! (Achoo! Sniff!) Ragweed
is all over the field!
turns back into the goalpost)Sean Kelly is now with the injured
Link and coach Cranky.So, Link, how bad is your injury?(fake crying) I'm afraid it will never
heal... only if...Only if what?...only if Samus kisses me.The more I want Samus to keep away
from you then!What?Did you just see Psyduck? I'm not
letting you heal unless someone else
gets injured!Were you guys surprised to see Psyduck
do so well on his first rush?Heck yeah! Geez! I was taking a big
chance by putting him in as RB.Do you think that Mario is doing a
good job?Bah, no! Jumpman sucks. I'll replace
him any minute now.Cranky, will you force Samus to kiss
Link if someone else gets hurt?No... he has a case of
I'm-a-wimp-so-I-faked-my-own-injury-just-to-get-a-kiss-from-Samus-itus.Hey!Will the rare injury haunt Mario's
team? We'll have to find out. Back to
you, John.It's close to the end of the 3rd
it's... Braden 42, Mario 0OK... the Authors are back at their
own 35. 1st and 10. Handoff to UDX...
he sees daylight! He's tackled after a 22-Yard Gain.Well... it's the 3rd Quarter, and I
don't like to say it's over until it's
over, but I think this one's over. 1st and 10 at the Mario 43. Shotgun
postition...He goes back and fires a BOMB! Caught
by the wide open Sir Goodn!!! Touchdown
Authors!H Cuz's kick is good... 49-0 Authors.And now the Kickoff... good kick...
taken by Yoshi at the 10... Yoshi is
in trouble... YOSHI FUMBLES!The kicker, H Cuz recovers the
football and runs it in for a touchdown!?!?
Touchdown H Cuz?!?!Wow. I've never seen that happen
before. The kicker got the Touchdown!The extra point.... is good. H Cuz is
having a great day!That wraps up the 3rd Quarter. It
is... Authors 56, Heroes 0.Announcer: Mario's biggest adventure yet! Mario RPG 3 1/2 ONLY FOR BOTVGH!!! Well, we begin the 4th quarter and
it's Authors 56, Heroes 0.The kickoff by H Cuz... Luigi catches
it in the end zone and kneels down.
Touchback.This has to be embarrassing for Cranky
and his team.1st and 10 at Mario's 20. The snap.
Mario back to pass... Caught by Luigi
for a gain of 15.1st and 10 at Mario's 35. Mario
snaps... and he passes to Yoshi. Yoshi
bobbles the ball and Martin intercepts it! Martin takes it to the end
zone.
Touchdown.Yoshi is playing really badly. Mario
needs a better variety of receivers
to get far, like the St. Louis Rams.H Cuz's kick is.... BLOCKED! By
Bowser! WOW! 62-0 Authors.Well, that is at least a good sign.1st and 10 at the 20... Handoff to
Psyduck... 3-yard gain.2nd and 7... Mario back to pass... He
has to scramble! He throws it away,
hitting an Author in the head.OW!3rd and 7... Mario hands it off to
Psyduck. He has an opening! He's at
the 30... 40... 50... Author 40-yard line! First down!That's over 100 yards on just 4
rushes. Magnificent.Time is ticking down though! Only a
half a minute left!Mario in shotgun... back to pass and
fires a bomb to a WIDE OPEN Luigi!
TOUCHDOWN HEROES!The extra point is good, as time
expires. The final... Authors 62, Heroes
7.How ironic! That was the score of Dan
Marino's last NFL game!Ehhhhhh, shaddup!
goes to talk with and )So... Um... nice game, eh?I guess.It was GREAT!......You lost 62-7.My Psyduck got 100 yards rushing, and
I caught the ONLY touchdown for our
team!OK... well... so you and your hero
buddies are okay for next week's episode?I guess so.Okay. Well then, I'll go now.All right. Bye.
exits)(to himself) I'll get revenge...Oh don't you try this again!What? Revenge on Braden? Eh, this time
it'll work.I still think that Brett Favre shoulda
been in the episode...Well too darn bad!
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