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BOTVGH: The Musical By Dr. Yoshi |
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BOTVGH: The Musical By Dr. Yoshi |
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Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Toad, Yoshi, Bowser, Cranky Bottom Row: Link, Ganondorf, Samus, Dr. Wily, Fox McCloud, Cow King, General Cowamov, Dr. Yoshi Not Pictured: Helicopter Pilot, Computer |
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gets up to make breakfast and
goes off to take a shower,
meanwhile wakes up full of energy)Ahhh! What a beautiful morning!Morning!Morning! All: Morrrning!!!
starts singing; cheerful music starts to play)Morning! How I love the morning! What
a beautiful morning!
gets out of the shower. The hot grease from the bacon splatters
onto 's
hair, setting it on fire.)THE BACON'S BURNING!!!MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!!!,
who somehow hasn't noticed the events going on behind him, continues to
sing.)Morning! I love morning! The morning
is pretty!Helicopter Pilot: Mayday! Mayday! Morning! What a glorious morning! The
morning of my dreeeams!.
Chunks of pavement fly everywhere and a chunk whizzes by .)Another morrrrning... onnnn
B...O...TV...G...HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Ahhh!
turns around and looks at all the chaos that had happened and smiles.)I could never understand the mushroom.Me either.
was working on his latest machine.)Pliers...Pliers!
hands a pair of pliers)What a stupid job!Did I hear someone complain? That's
it! I'm cutting your payroll in half!
pulls out a knife and cuts a peach in half and keeps half for himself.)Nice going Waluigi, you made him cut
our daily pay in half!Well, you were the one who convinced
me to apply for this job!I had everything I could hope forrrr,
I had my future straight. Then you
came and messed things up, and now I live in a crate!You had no money for your rent, you
lost your job too. How was I supposed
to know our boss would do something so cruel!and : Weeee're lowlife scum,
we have no talent. The bumpers on our cars are bent.We live nowhere in particular.A parking fine is our rent.Piiiiiipe down you two, I'm workin'
here! Don't you have something else
to do?
points at the toolbox.)All together now!, , ,
and 's minions all gather together
and start doing the can-can slowly)All: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee're low-life scum we have no talennnnnnnnnnnt. The bumpers on our cars are bent. We'd better get moving because of
our....All: Boooooooooooooooooss'sssssssssss temmmmmmmmmperrrrrrrrrrraaaaa... 's
machine. and the others speed
up their can-can while riveters twirl around them, shooting rivets
everywhere.)All: meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeent!!! Get back to work!Curses! We need to finish this thing
before tomorrow so that I can take
over the BOTVGH! MWA HA HA!!!! *cough* *cough*
coughs up one of the rivets)
was snoozing on the beach,
and were stuffing their faces,
and was as usual asking
to go out with him)Why won't you go out with me, Samus?Well, let me think... you're a dweeb
and you haven't even updated your
weaponry yet!But this is the best sword ever made!
Plus we don't have the technology
to make a blaster gun.
appears out of nowhere.)I think she already likes you!
fries with a huge plasma
beam shot)...I smell bacon...That's you.
looks at his flaming limbs.)AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
extinguishes his arms and legs with 's
banana soda. wakes up.)(yawns) MY SODA!!!
beats in the head with his
cane)Ow! Ow! Hey!
runs away from and runs
into and 's
buffet, knocking it over.)MAMA MIA!!! MY CATALONI!!!
dive-bombs for his platter plate of cheesy cataloni but
eats it.)Hey! That was mine!
burps)Why you...
and start fighting)Well this has been an interesting turn
of events!Yes it has.Speaking of which, will you go out
with me Samus?Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...
shoots a missile at and
he flies to the other side of the island)Oh well, there are plenty more fish in
the sea. (sigh)
turns around and sees a full public beach.)Helloooooooooooooooo opportunity!
struts down to the beach and is immediately greeted by 10 women) was watching
on the beach, angrily)What does he got that I haven't got?Voice: An ocarina perhaps?
turns to the side and sees
and staring at
as well)I don't understand what makes him so
attractive to those girls out there.Look at him he's getting all the girls
and leaving none for us!
starts to sing.)Oh Link, he's on the brink, of getting
all the girls!(snort) Oh Link, what a dink, getting
all the girls and leaving none for
us!, ,
and start to swing dance.), ,
and : Get that Link! Give
him a poisoned... drink! He's gonna get all the girls, he's such a rat
fink!Oh Link, he's on the brink, of getting
all the women!Oh Link, here's a drink, I hope you
enjoy it. Heh heh heh heh..., , :
Kill that Link! Give him a poisoned... drink! He's getting all the
girls
he's such a... stud!, ,
and start to tap dance)
dances around in a loop while
and tap dance in the middle)Doop doo doo, doo doo doo doo!, ,
tap dance in a straight line but then stop and watch in horror as
walks away with all 10 women.), , :
(sadly) Oh Link, he's on a date with 10 women!(snort) He's gets all the girls and
leaves... (starting to sob) ... none...
for... us!!!!!!, , :
WAHHHHHHH!!! WAHHHHHH!!!!
pulls out his Master Sword and the ladies admire it)Men, we need swords!Strange...Hah! Back in my day, we had no strange
people! The Atari kept anyone from
being strange.I thought that back in your day, there
were no people.
hits with his cane)Ow!
returns from the blacksmith, and
pulls in by the neck
with his cane to tell them his story.)There's one thing I remember the most
from my day though. It was like this...
ahem...
runs in, wearing a tuxedo and carrying a grand piano. He sets it down
and
sits on the bench.)You better give me my pay after this!PLAY!!!
grumbles and starts playing)
begins to sing in an ear-piercing voice)Well back in my day, I had a
sweethearrrt! She was lovely...
stops playing)But Cranky! We thought you said...
speeds up the music), ,
and : That back in your
day you worked all day and ate piles of...
stops... again)HEY!!! YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS!!! I'M
TRYING TO SING MY GRAMMY-WINNING SONG!!!Oh, sorry., ,
and sit back down)
looks over at )Ahem...Oh, uh, sorry. (grumble grumble)Well back in my day, I had a
girlfriend! Her name was Pauli--
stops)But Cranky! We thought you said...
speeds up again), ,
and : That back in your
day you ate rocks and hay! And played Atari all day!...
well you know)HEY!!! YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS!!!
hits them with his cane)OW!!!OUCH!!!WAHHHH!!!Ahem... Well... back... in... my...
(snore), ,
and : YEAH!!!!!!!Hey you still owe me my money you
geezer!
steals 's wallet and takes
off) completes
his mystery machine...)Zoinks!Oh, sorry. is working hard.)(snore) Mommy won't get me a pony so
I'll make one... ?
AHHHHHHHHH!)Can't give away too much of the plot
now. Heh heh heh... I'll just get
a new narrator!You don't have to do that. I'll create
a new narrator. Let's see here...
(scribble) (scribble) There! All done!
wakes up)See? Much better!
and disappear.)At last my machine is complete! Raise
the curtains!'s
minions raise the curtains. Behind the curtains is a giant robotic Dr.
Wily!)At last! Robo-Wily is complete! BOTVGH
will me mine! MWA HA HA... Ow! What
a headache!'s minions gives him an
aspirin and some ginger ale.)(glug glug) Ahhh! Thank you! Now to
think of a plan to destroy the BOTVGH
with this machine. begins
to sing)The plan will be simple, it should be
a piece of cake! Soon the BOTVGHers
will feel the earth breeeeeak!
This machine is revolutionary! It has 32 kinds of weaponry! The best we
can do with this thing is destroy an entire country!Well, let’s hurry up and get this
thing going... we won’t need a plan!
With all of this weaponry we’ll smoke the land like hammmmm!All in the lab: With all of this weaponry we’ll smoke the land like hammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
climbs into the cockpit of Robo-Wily)Let’s get moving!
turns the ignition and puts Robo-Wily into high gear)Open the garage door!
holds up the garage door opener and tries to open the door but fails.)It’s not working!Blast!Computer: Initiating super-blast missiles. No! Not that kind of blast!’s
lab, including his garage door.)-_-; Well, at least I can move on.Hey, watch it! I’m trying to get a tan
here!You’re already brown!I’m going for chocolate brown!(sigh)
has finished his date and is on the beach, trying to tan himself after
one of his dates said she thought he could use one.)Hmmm... I wonder how long this is
going to take!
looks up to see a large figure moving toward the beach.)GANON!!!Or not...Please turn around... please turn
around...’s head
and is coming down)AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
runs off to go tell the others about Robo-Wily)WHERE’S MY WALLET??!! JUMPMAN?!I don’t know Cranky... and stop
calling me that!LIAR!!!
whacks senseless with his
cane and goes over to )YOU?!Nope, no clue.LIAR!!!
whacks with his cane until
he’s unconscious and goes over to .)YOU??!!I have no idea.I believe you.Huh?!I still remember how you got me in
that cage in DK Jr., Jumpman! You said,
‘I know we had some disagreements before so why don’t you come into my
office?’ Then, you shut the door to your "office", which was a cleverly
disguised cage! And since Luigi is your brother, I know he can’t be
trusted!You’re one paranoid monkey.
whacks with his cane until
he was unconscious as well)I’m not a monkey, I’m an ape!Big difference.
runs up to )Yoshi! There’s something heading this
way!What?A gigantic, robotic Dr. Wily!All except and :
WHAT?!Worse of all... HE’S HERE!!! is
Robo-Wily)Attention BOTVGHers! Surrender the
BOTVGH to me or I’ll turn you all into
ham! MWA HA HA! *cough* *hack*
takes some Alka Seltzer)Ah! Now for my first victim!
pulls out a ray gun with Ham-O-Matic 3000 written on it)Purchase the Ham-O-Matic 3000 and you
also get the Robot Kit. Now you too
can build a giant robot and take over the world! Only from WilyCo!Is this a shameless ad for your
company?Exactly! Now, on to business!
aims the gun at and turns
him into a rotting ham.)Eww...Well, he is an old monkey.Hmm, this thing still has a few bugs
to work out.s)What? Impossible!MWA HA HA! That’s it! That’s it! Man
the Cow-apult Cowamov!Yes, sir!
herds 10,000 s on to the Cow-apult)FIRE!
fires the Cow-apult.)LAUNCH ANTI-COW MISSILES!s)s:
MOOOOOO!s
try to run back up to the clouds, but of course can’t.)That’s it! Fire...
(Dramatic pause) The Big One!Sir! We’ve never used the Big One
before! It’s too risky!I know that, but if we don’t do
something we won’t be able to harass those
BOTVGHers down there and we don’t want that, do we?
N... no we don’t. LAUNCH THE BIG ONE!
s
pull on the levers that open up the Big One’s stable)MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! steps
out of its 2-mile tall, 6-mile wide stable)FIRE!
falls)LAUNCH ALL ANTI-COW MISSLES,
FLAMETHROWERS, AND BARBEQUE SAUCE!Heh heh...
flattens the butchers and goes straight through the flame without a
single
burn. As for the BBQ Sauce however, it got all over
and .)These were brand new overalls too!Why us?’s
eyes begin to water)WAHHHHHHHH!
drags to the house by the
shirt collar)NOOOOO! How could that have failed?
Grr... LAUNCH SAUSAGE MAKER!Yes, yes!NO! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
finally touches down, causing a huge shockwave and a 19-mile deep
crater.)Everyone: We did it! And to top it all off, Cranky is now a ham! ’s
Ham-O-Matic 3000 was that the effect was temporary. Therefore,
turns back to normal.)Everyone except : NOOOOOOO!Well, it’s nice to see you too. Hmm,
funny for some reason I smell ham.Well, at least we have one another. We
really did pull through!Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now what are we to
doooo?Everyone: Because it’s morning! Morning!Morning!Everyone: Morrrrrrrrrning onnnnnnn theeeeee islannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd! My sweater-vest!My doctor’s... thing!Yum!
licks the BBQ Sauce off of himself)Now for the credits!Ooo! Ooo! Can I do them?Fine, whatever makes you happy.Morning on BOTVGH was written by Dr.
Yoshi. Lowlife Scum was written by
Dr. Yoshi. Link Gets All the Girls was inspired by A Tune to Hum- a
poem
about Link by Flare50@htloz.com and was written by Dr. Yoshi. Back in
My
Day was written by Dr. Yoshi. We’ll Smoke the Land Like Ham was written
by Dr. Yoshi. And finally, Morning on the Island was written by Dr.
Yoshi.
almost blanks out)Thank you, Link! In case you haven’t
noticed this musical has no music!
I’m still working on a way to do it but once I do I’ll post it on the
BBS.
Now let’s have a traditional BOTVGH ending!
falls on )Why me? |
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This has been a BOTVGH Production (c).
All
video game characters are copyright their respective
companies. This episode belongs to the BOTVGH Archive and the author.