 Episode 18!! The Smash Attack Games 2!! by Klawkat with contributions from Wario the III & H Cuz |
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Episode 18!! The Smash Attack Games 2!! by Klawkat with contributions from Wario the III & H Cuz |
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Row: Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Bowser (the Turdinator), Peach, Kamek, Link, Samus, Donkey, Diddy, Cranky, Pikachu Second Row: Pacman, Ash, Charizard, Jessie, James, Meowth, Red Virus, Bobomb, Bub, Bob, Bionic Commando, Pit Third Row: Mega Man, Dr. Wily, Heat Man, Cloud Man, Snake Man, Burner Man, Ness, Captain Falcon, Cartman, Kenny, Klawkat, H Cuz Bottom Row: Wario the III, Fat Lady, Dr. Evil, Mike Tyson, Tom Green, Eminem, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Emperor Fred, Martin's Station Wagon, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo |
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Hey, cat!
What?
Let's fight!
OK!
Ow... low... blow...
Shut up, Pit! I didn't want you to narrate anyway!
But your episode is... so evil. I'll just brighten it up...
............ Riiight... Take Pit to the shark infested volcano pit,
with
one guard and put him away...
No one's here but me and Cartman...
Wanna make five bucks?
Oh, cool! Me!!!
OK! You take fairy boy and lock him up!
Sweet!
Nooooo! Happiness! Love! NOOOOOoooooo--
Shut up!
Now I will go conquer the world...
Oh, no we're not! We're gonna play...
Crowd: The Joker's Wild!!!
Time to play the game where you just gamble your winnings away. And
here's
your host, the first '70s game show host without a hair piece...
Klawkat!
Hello, hello! (fake, bright smile, cheesy laugh) And let's meet our
unfortunate
contestants...
wakes up)
Oh... What a bad dream...
finds himself on the announcer's table, in the middle on an arena.)
Woke up?
I had a bad dream... I was alive in the '70s!!
Good thing this is the '00s!!
Kinda makes you feel like nothing, right Luigi?
I guess...
By the way, why am I here?
You said this is the final day of your sanity, so you went to a bar and
got drunk.
By the way, Are you insane?
Hmm... My psychic was wrong. I want my free 3 minutes back!
No!
Huh... Arena, Insanity... I got it! I know what to do in this episode...
So what's your idea?
Ohhh! Now you made me lose my train of thought!
Well, you can...
Wait! Incomimg message from the Big Giant Head...
Klawkat! I read your pain! You will make events, risking the lives of
the
the contestants, and the winner will have 4 days, three nights in
rehab.
Once there, the winner will have hand plucked duck right over their
table,
and will enjoy the smell of moose in the morning... And remember
Klawkat...
(In fading, eerie, hypnotic voice) Lambchop's a Puppet, Lambchop's a
Puppet...
is back to 'normal')
Now what?
... We have some fun!
's
lair)
Wha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha
... ha ha ha... heh... ahhh... That was a funny joke, you know.
Well, yes, I do know...
I know... Let's rule the archive. We'll make this our new resort.
We already have one.
I want another one! Let's call all available Robot Masters and crush
them...
goes on the intercom)
All Robot Masters, report now!
(Still on the intercom) Is that all?
and are there standing,
alone.)
Two? Only two?
Yeah... Sssso what's the big deal?
>: )
Uhh... Where's the others?
Swimming... In the volcano...
(Tied and upside down) Help me. Will you two nice guys help me?
The other robots had failed. I will fly up and save him.
hovers, but his cloud thingy evaperates when heated, and falls into the
hot Mag-ma!)
Fools! I'm the last one here. I will save Pit, and be hero in the land
of BOTVGH.
jumps into the lava, and manages to swim.)
Oh no you don't! Get him Bob!
, destroying him)
And that's what happened. For some strange reason, they wanted to save
some Cupid.
: (
Great. I'll just make some rebuildings.
There's always next episode.
Hey. Do that joke again!
OK!
turns into )
Fa-red Fa-red!
Wha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... WHA HA HA HA HA HA...
OK, Cat. So what's the deal here?
OK!! Everybody seated?
, , , , ,
and are on the couch.)
That last guy was pretty unexpected.
You want to start something?
Back in my day, we didn't have cotton tissues!
Well, just because you complain about not having them before doesn't
mean
we'll buy you one.
But I missed out!
You actually missed out?
I dunno... Why am I here.
Shut up! All of you!
You wanna start something?
EEP!
OK! There we go! What we should do is to hold another event!
But the BOTVGH Olympics had already came this way. Nobody wants to see
another competitive event here...
, , , , :
Cool!
Do I do anything this episode?
Nope.
I'm in!
Fine.
You see, we have events. Four people will compete this time around. And
this time... It will be fun.
Nah, I'll hit the hay!
You wanna start something?
Bah! ::Mumbles to himself:: (Leaves)
And here's our contestants...
appears on spotlight)
Samus Aran! My personal favorite. The bounty hunter extraordinaire! The
blaster on her arm helps her repel monsters, aliens, and bad dates.
I'm gonna win this one!
appears on spotlight)
Link! The Hero of Time! Well-rounded swordsman, and great with tools,
but
some of the world's blonde jokes revolve around him.
Uh... you're saying I'm blonde?
appears on spotlight)
Donkey Kong! The 400-pound ape. Strong with strength, even stronger
with
the B.O.
I'll whip you!
appears on spotlight)
Pikachu! Electric Pokémon! Cute little mouse with a shocking
aditude.
Likes ketchup.
Pika pika.
And, these four will compete, in the daring, dangerous, side-splitting
show around the country! The games are here, and we're gonna play...
Welcome!
(wearing a wig) Do you think I look dorky in this hair piece?
Hey! It's the latest trend! I'm even cooler, since I'm wearing one with
legs on.
Teen Magazine, here we come!
is watching from backstage.)
OK... in five, we're going to start the events. Good thing those two
can
entertain the crowd.
heads into the locker room)
Hey!
Hi.
Hello.
Pi.
Where's Samus?
Girls' locker room.
OK. Are you three ready?
All: Right!
OK. I'm going to start to announce...
heads to the announcer's place.)
Now, here comes Klawkat!
Yay.
(Climbs up and takes the mike)
...Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and its all alike. It's time
for
The Game of Games. The Show of Shows, this ain't no backyard barby Q!
This
is the Smash Attack Games 2!
Our first event: What do you get when you combine a motorcycle, jet
engine,
jagged obstacles, harsh conditions, and Team Rocket? You get the 'Speed
Demolition!' Down the track, pot holes, jumps, dips, and holes in the
ground
will try to prevent our four to reach the finish. The four will be
moving
in high-tech-state-of-the-art bikes. Equipped with rocket booster, they
will sail their way, avoiding the obvious, but be on the lookout for
Team
Rocket!
Pika... ::Glup::
I can handle this.
When I say it, when I say it... Go!
Whoa! I'm going fast!
I been faster.
I feel faster being near you.
Shut up! (Shoots at )
Ahhh... (Crashes into a bush.)
Pikachu! (Speeds ahead...)
(Grabs the bike, and tries to catch up) I'm not stopping!
This is nothing like Mario Kart!
Hey, unlike Mario Kart, I can just blast you anytime.
Oh yeah!
goes between and )
You got the idea?
I think so... Oreo?
Right!
and ram 's
bike on both sides.)
(seeing a hole, where he's heading) Pika pika!!
falls into the hole.)
::Boom!!::
*Cough*
Piiiiiiiii...
(catches up) Hey. I'm back! (wields his sword) It slices, it dices...
You're really asking for it!!
Here come the racers.
OK...
Let's plan attack A!
OK...
(Holding a ) Plan A, coming
down!
s out the balloon)
Whoa! It's raining...
Yeah...... Just perfect! (Rams into ,
which shoves him into a falling .)
(Exploding) Ahhhhh!! (The force of the bomb distroys the bike.)
Now it's time for attack plan B!
OK...
(Holding a Moonraker Laser) Heck! This is going to be fun!
drops from the balloon by parachute and starts shooting at the racers.)
Kamikaze!!
This is hard.
Hey, Meowth! Eat this! (Shoots back!)
hits ,
hits !
goes into the sky, while
was knocked off her bike. The bike later crashes into a rock and
explodes.)
I'm the only one left.
OK! Attack plan C!
OK.
Can you say anything else than 'OK'?
Okey...
Are you ready, Mike?
Yep!
races to ...)
Mmmmm... nice and pointy!
AHHHH!!!
gets scared and goes way off course.
is chasing him.)
(Riding a clunking bike) Pika pika...
's
bike: Clunk, bang, putt putt putt putt...
crosses the finish line!)
Pikachu is the winner. Our next event will start in five, so hold on...
's
lab...)
Hey, Wily! Guess what? We got invited to some event.
We're... actually invited someplace?
Yep. So, I suggest we go to the arena...
So... can we come?
(Looking cute) ; )
Ahhh... Why not, let's go.
Well... Now what?
We can go to the land of make believe...
We can make a game starring only me...
All but :
Wha ha ha ha ha...
What? Is that so funny to you?
Sorry, but I wasn't laughing at you, just at him...
Fa-red Fa-red!
Dude, this sucks.
You want to start something?
Shut up. That's getting old.
I worry that something strange will happen...
shows up)
Yo! It'z the Turdinater! I'm the bad one.
You wanna start something?
Sure. I'll beat you down.
punches down)
I did my job! (flies off!)
... OK, can we get back into an event?
Sure. But the contestants aren't ready...
(In the room)
OK! I'm gonna run through a drill here, and see if you got the items...
, , ,
and : ... Yep.
The Bionic Arm?
All: Yep.
The Bionic Claw?
All: Yep.
The Bionic Pistol?
All: Yep.
The Bionic Boots?
All: Yep.
The Bionic Helmet?
All: Yep.
The Bionic Tums?
All: Yep.
The Bionic Air Sickness Bag?
All: Yep.
The Bionic Toilet Paper?
All: Yep.
The Bionic Flotation Device?
All: Yep.
Great! Throw them all away, 'cause you're not going to need them.Hello!
You might notice the little structure right in the middle of the
arena. You see, the fact is that they are going to climb this
monstrosity
to the top. For more info, let's talk to our good friend, Wario the III.
Uhhh... Well... You basically told the whole thing yourself!
OK! Well, let's start the event.
Alright, this event is mine!
Yeah right! None of you can take me!
fires his Hookshot up into the air and is rapidly ascending)
Hahahaha!
Alright, I know how to take care of this.
starts using her repeating cork screw jump to rapidly ascend)
Ummm. This isn't very easy!
is climbing at a rather slow rate, behind everybody)
Piiika!!!
is using Agility and Quick Attack to ascend)
Alright, Link, you are my only real competition, take this!
shoots )
Yaaaaa!!!
loses control of his Hookshot and is falling at a rapid pace. He pulls
out the hover boots and stays in mid air for a good split-second,
enabling
him to use the Hookshot on
herself, who is still jumping)I
am never gonna beat them at this rate!
sees )
Heeeyy. I got an idea! It hurts my head!
pulls out a Game Shark and teaches himself Fly)
Pika!!!!!
is flying towards the top, passing everybody.)
Hey my Pikachu is cheating! This is gonna make me look bad! Charizard I
choose you!
Rooooooo!
flies into the air and starts attacking
violently)
Ahh! Let go of me Link! Let go of me right now!
Now that I've got a hold on you why would I ever let go?
shoots her Elec Hook into 's
Hookshot, electrocuting him, and sending him falling toward the
earth.
also drops his Hookshot)
Hey Donkey, why are you looking at me like that? I don't like it!
Come here you little monkey!
grabs and stuffs him inside
a barrel. sprouts a Jetpack
and is flying straight up.
is latched up and his hands are covering 's
eyes)
Whoa! I can't see, DK! I can't see!
and are flying uncontrollably)
What? Now I have an idea! I don't believe it!
grabs hold of a side of the wall, and pulls out his Ocarina. He plays
the
Lon Lon Ranch song)
Ha Link! I see you have lost control and have stopped climbing! I'm
almost
at the top with my forever jump!
,
sending her towards the ground. She tries using her corkscrew attack,
but
she's under a big horse, and it doesn't really work)
Pikaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!
tries the Thunder attack on ,
but as soon as he does, his Fly attack is cancelled and he starts
falling.
eats him!)
*BURP*
WHAT??? AHH! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!
Woah!!!!! DK! We're gonna crash!!!!!
and fly top speed at the side
of the mountain, but run into ,
and the Jetpack explodes in a huge explosion)
I'm the only one left and I'm above all these people! I'm gonna win!
exploded and went flying
into the air from the explosion)
MY CHARIZARD!
hit the ground and there is an Epona-and-Samus-shaped crater)
I'm OK!
fall on her)
Charizard, return!
forms back into one piece like in Terminator 2 and returns)
Cool!
falls from the sky and lands on 's
head, but doesn't notice.)
Just have to climb a couple more rocks!
falls from the sky and lands on 's
head. notices.)
We're all gonna die!
We aren't dead already?
grabs 's tie, ties it to an
arrow, and ties the other end to his bow)
Makeshift hookshot!
My tie!
fires the makeshift Hookshot and successfully grabs back onto the
rock.
is still falling, knocked out.
is back up)
I'm OK!
and fall on .
climbs his way to the top)
I win!
And the winner is Link. We'll be back in five.
I whipped in that event, hands down.
Shut up!
The way I climbed up there, I kicked butt!
Shut up!
You guys shoulda looked down from the top, I was king of the world
there...
Shut up!
And you know what, I'll win the other matches... Did you say Shut up?
Yes.
Yes.
No, not me. I didn't say Shut up.
You did it again!
I DID NOT SAY SHUT UP!!!
Third time now.
Oh...
Shut up!
OK.
Uh... Why are you talking, anyway?
I think it all started from that episode where I talked. I zapped
Cranky
a bunch.
That must be fun.
OK... Uh... Cool!
Imagine for a moment: a baby born with both a Y, and a Y chromosomes.
Imagine
a third gender...
Yo
yo yo yo yo!!!
Here comes Pacman.
Hey Pacman, what's
up?
Me, you ********!!!
(dances and leaves)
Uh.... okey....
We're here.
That's cool!
Sssssweet.
:)
Hey! Wily! Kamek! You came!
Yeah... So what do we do?
You and Kamek are needed, so follow me. You two robots can just enjoy
yourselves.
Cool!
:D
, ,
and leave...)
Uh... Now what?
X(
Alright! We'll look for a resssstroom.
(Back to the arena)
Welcome. For all you battle freaks out there, here's your chance to see
explosions and boomings and bombs and stuff like that. It makes me all
warm inside. Those cold-blooded worms however, has tought us a way to
blow
up! So we're going to do it their way. Power-ups will be spread about
the
arena, and special guests Dr. Wily, and Kamek the Magikoopa are here to
speed things up. One more thing. It's sudden death. One hit, you're
gone.
Ha!
OH, great!
I think I can do it...
Now you four shall appear in different parts of the arena.
When I say it, when I say it... Go!!!!!!
appears right on the surface)
I'm on top of everything!
appears near the water)
Good thing I can swim.
appears at the base of a small hill)
Well, this doesn't seem so bad.
appears inside a small, enclosed area)
What the...? I'm stuck in here! *bleep*!
Hey, no cursing!
I'll allow it. It's only *Bleep*.
... My site.
My bad.
The match will begin now!
Happy birthday, Link! Here's a present!!
But it's not my--
lands next to )
....Oh, I guess I'd better throw this at someone.
looks around, but doesn't see anyone)
Where are they?
starts to flash)
Aaaahhhh!!
kicks the away and it explodes
in midair)
Hmm... I thought I heard an explosion.
climbs up the hill and sees )
Did I get you?
No.
Shucks... I guess we'll just have to wait for a weapon crate.
Sure.
So... played any good games lately?
(to himself) If I throw this just right... bye-bye Pikachu!
(to himself) Wily thinks I can't see him... what a moron...
Ah, well. (Throws a at )
Sigh... (Throws the back
at )
and throw the
back and forth a few times)
Should I tell them I'm a dud?
As long as I'm stuck here, I may as well make the most of it.
lies down and falls asleep)
(Meanwhile, a weapon crate has appeared)
& : Finally!!!
& run to the crate and
reach it at the same time, but
takes out his sword)
Get back, monkey!! This one's mine! All MINE!! Bwahahahahah!!!
approaches the crate)
***Booby-Trapped***
Uh-oh.
goes flying)
Oh well.
One down, three to go!
walks to the edge of the hill, looks down and sees
playing Catch The Bobomb with )
Hmmm....
)
What have we here? (Collects a Baseball Bat)
Urrrrrrgh!! (shakes up the )
Explode already!
Zzzzz....
Surprise!
Huh????
swings his Baseball Bat and
goes flying)
Nice shot, DK.
Thanks.
Zzzzzzzz......
& )
So where do you think Samus is?
Dunno. Maybe Kamek finished her off?
Nope, not me.
All 3: Hmmmm....
Why not use your Blow Torch?
I have a Blow Torch?
Yep.
Okay!
takes his Blow Torch and burns a tunnel into the wall. But when he
comes
out the other side...)
Ahhhh!! Oil drums everywhere!!
Oooh. Sorry DK! (Takes out a )
Wh-- AAAAAHHHH!!!!
(
goes flying)
The winner is Samus!
Yawn... wha?
Once again, we'll be back in five...
Announcer: New on Fox! One's a Sci Fi racer, with the need for speed.
Ha ha!
Announcer: And the other's Martin's Station Wagon!
Beep!
Announcer: The crime-fighting duo, with no time to lose.
Oh no! Martin's Station Wagon! The bank's being robbed. We gotta stop
the
crooks.
falls apart)
That's one crazy Station Wagon! Ha ha ha!
Announcer: Watch "Falcon and the Wagon", New on Fox!
\ )
Done with the oil change?
:)
OK... my turn.
goes into the bathroom...)
.................................. Uh... HELP! My foot is sssstuck in
the
toilet!
(using his Super Plumber's Hearing) It looks like a call for the Mario
Bro!
Bros!
No, this is a one "man" job! I gotta do this alone! (Stands tall)
(seeing  stuck) You
know... for once, I accept Second Banana.
Heh... This is the big job. The one of a kind "Robot Master stuck in a
toilet bowl while looking embarrassing stupid" fixer upper!
?? :/ ??
Question Mark, Question, Colon, Slash, Question Question?
He speaks in a language with involves small amouts of characters that
represents
what's he's feeling...
All that without your speech inpediment?
Yeah, ssssso?
Ahhh... (red face) You should talk!!
Wha? (Remembers he's stuck in a toilet.) D'oh!
Yo! It'z the Turdinater.
Ack!
Hey! Our fourth event: Poop Monster From Dogma?
, , ,
and : Yeah... (Tremble and
shudder)
You get to fight him!
Wha?
Wha?
Wha?
Wha?
He didn't make it!
What for?
He has a perm!
Dang! Well... what now?!
Skip to the fifth event, I'll come up with the last!
... OK! I have a question for all of you folks out there... Imagine
South
Park. Let's pretend that Kenny survives a few dozen episodes and little
clones of Kenny scamper around like crazed idiots hooked on Crystal
Meth?
You get Target Practice! Our contestants will viciously murder the life
out the looney Kenny's by killing them with their bare hands...
I finally found you. I'm here to get this deathmatch stopped! Your
episode
is huge, filled with violence and foul scenes!
The one in the red dress is worth 5 points!
Wha?
Let's begin!
(Incoming message from the Big Giant Head!)
Hi, I'm Klawkat's innermost something or another. You might be thinking
I'm here to interrupt the fight so you won't see the graphic images and
imprint them in your mind... Well, two things: One: You never see the
graphic
images, this is a fan fic, not a cartoon! 2: Yes you're right! But I'll
give you a BOTVGH Slide Show.
and
on their little adventure)
(Screen shows a photo of taking his first experiences
in the studio)
(Screen shows a photo of flippin' the bird)
(Screen shows a photo of a Spanish firing squad,
in the blindfold)
Event's over! Your time is wasted, so thank me later.
(Wiping off blood) What a massacre!
(Sees one last ) Wait! I'll
get him! (Charges violently)
, looking stupid as normal!)
Alright! Here's the score: Link: 1253465, Samus: 34345, DK:
&*%7472235
Pikachu: Who Cares?
What's with the score?
I stopped putting my heart in this episode. This episode is one big
comedy
act!
I win, I got both an asterisk and a percent sign in my score!
Guess what: Back in five!
Time?
6:49.
Oh. Get me out.
OK! Everyone, TUG!
, , , ,
and tugs on 's
limbs!)
Arrrgh!
AGGG!
Hmmp!
YOSHI!
Turdy POWER!
X(
Wha?
,
who is awake...)
Where's that M & M kid? I think he stole my pills!
Hello...
????: (Deep voice) Hello. I know your intentions. I will join you, and take place in the games. |