"Battle Of The Video Game Heroes" Proudly Presents:

Episode 13!! Trapdoors of Death by Tsuji Yamada

 
 

THE CAST

Top Row: Mario, Luigi, Toad, Yoshi, Sonic, Tsuji, Shoji, James Bond, Clint Eastwood, Satan Bottom Row: Cranky, DK, Mega Man, Dr. Wily, Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, James, Meowth Not Pictured: Yoshiki Okamoto (the Capcom dude), 2 Fans, Citizen

 
 

(BOTVGH Island...) I'm bored... the only good thing is that there are no more falling cows since Cow King was put in jail. Yep. I'm just hoping that someone may interfere with us... ( enters) I guess Sonic the Hedgedog will try to beat us. HEY! You remember me? I'm SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, AND I'M GOING TO CHALLENGE YOU ALL TO A RAC- (Right before  can finish the word "race", he slips on a banana peel and goes flying out of the episode - just like  in Season 5's "The Return of Kamek".) On the other hand, I guess not. (In a giant metal tower where  (the new writer) and  are controlling what happens around the island...) Hmm... Hey, Tsuji, can I play some muzak to make everything not so boring? (screams) NO!! The last time you did, you played "Basket Case" by Green Day so loud that almost EVERYONE could sing it on command! ( calls  over the P.A. System) OK, Yoshi, sing "Basket Case"! ( sings every word of the song with perfect tone and tempo...) (to ) See what I mean? Oh, alright... geez... Hey, I have an idea... What, brother? I think I'll invent a running gag. Heehee, good idea, especially now that Cow King's been jail-bound rather recently. :) OK... ^_^ (Later, back at the place where  and  are, , , , and  have joined in) So you finally got Mewtwo? Yeah! All it took was a simple Master Ball! (AUTHOR'S NOTE: They're referring to the original Game Boy version of Pokémon, NOT the TV show version...) Hmph! In my old days, we didn't NEED to use monsters to destroy the enemy! Oh, no, we just threw barrels at the bad guys once in a- Uhh...nobody wants to even HEAR about your so-called "old days"... (Suddenly,  falls through a trapdoor) Huh? Who put that trapdoor there? I didn't... Neither did I... Nope. Sigh... well, we'll just babble for a while. (Meanwhile, in 's fortress, where  is fighting  AGAIN...) Eat Mega Buster, Wily! ( jumps and is about to release his Mega Buster, when he is shot by one of 's robots) Owww... HAHA!!! Die, Mega Man-AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! ( and his robot just fell through another trapdoor) Huh? I thought there were no trapdoors in this room... (Meanwhile, in Saffron City...  and  are walking around) Brock, let's get some more Potion and Pokeballs, and- (Suddenly, smoke appears in front of  and , and when it disappears, Team Rocket is there...) ... Aw, geez, never mind... Prepare for trouble! And make it double! To protect the world from devastation... To unite all peoples within our nations... To denounce the evil of truth and- (Suddenly, , , and  fall through yet another trapdoor...) Whew... that saves us a fight. Yes, but I didn't know that Saffron City had trapdoors... Huh? I think I'll go back to the island and tell our friends about this. (Back at the island) I'm still feeling strange about this... ( and  enter) Hey, guys, we were in Saffron City, and then Team Rocket appeared. But, during their speech, they fell through a trapdoor! Even though those Rockets are bad guys, I won't forgive the person who put the trapdoor here! The same happened here. When Cranky was explaining his "good old days" yet AGAIN, he fell through a trapdoor. ( enters) The same thing happened when I was fighting Dr. Wily in his fortress! When he was about to finish me, he and his robots fell through a trapdoor! (sighs) So that counts as 5 people who fell through unknown trapdoors? Oddly enough, yes. Holy geez... ( enters) Hello, I am Clint Eastwood. Is there a Mega Man here? Uhh... yeah. OK, I shall challenge you to a quick-draw! OK! (suddenly changes into Mega Man X ()!!) ( and  stand half-distance away from each other, just in all Wild West quick-draws. They have their weapons ready.) Go ahead... make my day. (Silence for a few seconds...) DRAW! (They point their weapons at each other, but before  can even pull the trigger on his weapon, he falls through - you guessed it - a trapdoor.) (Changes back into ) Huh? It happened again... All right... WHO IN THE NAME OF SHIGERU MIYAMOTO IS PUTTING ALL THESE TRAPDOORS HERE?!? ?????: I am. (????? reveals himself to be ...) Holy... Yep, it's me who put all those trapdoors in those places... Geez... I guess I'll have to forgive you. Wow. Where did these guys go, anyway? Umm... (Meanwhile, in London, England...) Citizen: Hey, Cranky, DK64 came out in this place! BAH! In my old days, we didn't NEED to wait for games to come out! Citizen: NOO!!! NOT THE "OLD DAYS"!!! ( comes in) Cranky, I have bad news for you. What? Cranky Kong, you are under arrest for trying to explain your "old days" to a citizen who doesn't want to hear about them. I was trying to EXPLAIN something, you whippersnapper! (sighs) Add "calling a secret agent a whippersnapper" to the charges. Come with me. (takes  away) Hey, you can't do this, you stupid whipper- ( gets knocked unconscious by a falling flower pot (huh?)) (Meanwhile, in the Capcom building in Japan...) ...But sir, I made all my Robot Masters MYSELF!!! Why do you think that dumb dork Dr. Light made them?!? Yoshiki Okamoto: Sir, our official storyline says so. Give them back to HIM, or you will have to pay a fine. (Suddenly, the phone rings) Yoshiki Okamoto: I'll go get it. (He gets it) Yoshiki Okamoto: Hello? Yes... yes... yes... I'll tell him right now. Bye! (He hangs up) What is it? Yoshiki Okamoto: The landlady just called. You owe her the rent for your evil fortress. ( immediately faints) (Meanwhile, in HELL...) Sorry, but you're gonna have to stay here for eternity... YOU IDIOT, JAMES!! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WE WERE GONNA FALL THROUGH A TRAPDOOR AT THE LAST MINUTE!!! But Jessie, I didn't know! There were no-- NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!! WE NOW HAVE TO STAY HERE FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!!! Hey, the boss ain't gonna like it when he hears of this... WE KNOW THAT, YOU CAT!!! WHY DO YOU THINK WE'RE-- (smacks them with his pitchfork) Shut up, all of you. , , & : Sorry... (Meanwhile, somewhere in Hollywood...) I must get back to where I originally was, so I can make my new movi-- (Suddenly, multiple fans run to him) Fan 1: CLINT EASTWOOD!!!! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH??? Sorry, but no! Fan 2: PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE!!! WE NEED IT!!! Aaagh!!! (to himself) Now I have to deal with these fools for a while... (Back at BOTVGH Island) So, Tsuji, will you get the guys back? All right, I'll do it. (Another trapdoor opens and it spits out , , Team Rocket, and  before it disappears) Thanks for freeing me. Now I'll go. (he leaves) Where am I? Oh yeah, back at the island. Back in my old days, we used to eat cranberry juice every day-- AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!! Ash, this time, we're gonna get YOU and your little Pikachu, too!! Get away from me! This time, I WILL be able to take over BOTVGH!!! NO you won't!! Oh, THANKS A LOT, Toad. NOW we'll have to deal with these guys again! What? (Everybody ('cept ) looks angrily at ) Everybody except : GET HIM!!! UH OH! ( hightails it outta here, and everyone runs after him with baseball bats, frying pans, katanas, clubs, etc., leaving  standing alone) Oh well, time to get back to the tower... *** THE END ***

  This has been a BOTVGH Production (c). All video game characters are copyright their respective companies. This episode belongs to the BOTVGH Archive and the author.