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| Top
Row: Mario, Luigi, Wario, Toad, Peach, Mallow, Cranky, Wrinkly, Bowser Middle Row: Donkey Kong, Funky, Ness, Samus, Link, Mega Man, Kirby, Pikachu, Jigglypuff Bottom Row: Captain Falcon, Shigeru Miyamoto, Master Hand, Saria, Mido, Bass, Treble, Pit, and Santa Claus. Not Pictured: Advertising Man |
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and were stashed
away in a huge sack by the nefarious  ,
who had a Christmas plan that would allow him to take control of the
world....but
that wasn't the only trouble.....,
in a wicked plan to get even with the Super Smash Brothers gang, had
"given"
a Christmas tree that was less-than-worthy of a Christmas carol.......)
and are playing
Pokémon
with a GameShark)Dagnabbin' kids.....can't even
cheat properly. Give it here!!
and
unlink the
game link cable, and hand
their Gameboys)Don't even know half yer 8-bit
stuff........(presses A and B several times)There. Now you kids should be
under the secret passage of Saffron City
with infinite Pokémon HP and infite Master Balls.Pika-pika-pika? Cha?All I did was go Professor
Oak's lab, gave him my Evee, presse A 90 times
and pulled the cartridge out and then re-inserted it with my tongue!!!
I thought everybody knew that glitch!!!(whispers to ) I still can't
believe Cranky actually PLAYS Pokémon...I HEARD THAT.Huh?The damsel in distress thinks I
can't adjust to newer games, eh???!!??!
I'll have you know that Gameboy's a classic, why back in 1989 it, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah...Sigh......And another thing, I am SICK of
your "sighing". That's it---It's time.(sticks her head out of the
door of the cabin) Oh dear.The ol' ape's gonna stage a
classic damsel-in-distress kidnappin'!! Heheh!!
grabs , ties her up to
a chair,
and throws her on the roof)Mama-mia..........(in a very a
dull voice) Don't worry, Pauline--err, Princess
Toadstool, I will save you from the evil clutches of that ape...sigh...(sincere as ever) No you won't.
throws a TNT barrel at )Sigh......yeah, you're
right.......I WON'T!!!!But Mario!!!!!!No, Peach, I won't save you.
(sarcastic) It'll only infuriate the wrath
of the almighty Kong even more.Hahah!!!Cranky.......Hahah!!!Cranky........Hahah!!!Shut up and get me off of this
roof.Nuh-uh. It feels too good to
hold a screamin' woman hostage once more.But I'm not screaming.Well you will if I feed you to
the hogs!!!Dear...Yeah?.....we really don't have any
hogs, dear.Dagnabbit, woman!!!!Look, everyone!!!!It's a bird!!It's a plane!!It's a cliché phrase
that is over-used when discussing something
up above!!!!!!!!I don't care who it is, but I
need to get back to beatin' the Elite Four
(turns on Pokémon)....IT'S LARA CROFT AND SHE'S
NAKED!!!!WHERE?!?!??!No it isn't!! This is BOTVGH
and you can't say naked, and you aren't in
this Christmas special!!!@#!%!$And you can't say @#!%!$, only
I can say that!!That's it, I'm joining Suicidal
Video Game Characters Anonymous Club, since
nobody cares!!Yeah, man.....I just
joined........it's tough facing life when everyone
needs an expansion pak to see you, you know what I'm saying?DO I EVER!!!Wait---Bowser, don't leave!!
Don't you care that Donkey Kong, that is,
Cranky here, dared kidnap me behind your back?????You mean you care? Someone
cares for my big Koopa soul and loves me? (
starts to weep)I didn't say that.WOULD EVERYONE JUST LOOK ABOVE
WHERE SHIGERU MIYAMOTO IS COMING DOWN IN
A HELICOPTER?!?!?!?!?Hi everybody!!!Ack!! (hides Gameboy)Doggone Pokémon'll give
everyone epilepsy the @$%# game fulla crap
if you ask me........Oh, hi Miyamoto!!I see you're still
anti-Pokémon, Cranky.....sigh......I wish the
Mario series was becoming nearly as popular.There, there, Mr. Miyamoto.
(kicks )Being harmful to animals is
wrong. Protecting nature is right. PSI-FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
burns to a crisp)I brought a visitor!!That visitor would not be ZELDA
again......WOULD IT?!?!??!*gulp*............No!!!
It's Pit.Pit?@$%#, Jumpman!!HEY, nobody on this island can
say @$%# but ME!!!!PIT is the angellic hero from
the classic NES game THAT NOBODY REMEMBERS....(glances
around)....Kid Icarus. But of course, you wouldn't know that, would you
Mario?Why of course I do!! That game
was released back in 1989 along with other
games like, uh.....Excitecar, Mythology of Zelda, and,
uh.....that---that
game that I had that wasn't 64-bit. What was it again? Super Mario 64?
Super Mario Golf?Sigh.......(gets ready to kill for getting
the name of his first game wrong)(almost freezes , but
then remembers her promise not to hurt him one bit)............Put down the chainsaw, Link..Ok.Super Mario Garbage? No,
umm....it was....Super Mario Mario? Couldn't be.....Super
Mario Under a Pile of Meats and Cheeses? Super Mario---no, that wasn't
it.......ummm....Super Mario Half-Brothers That Are Their Mother's
Cousin's
Word Processors?(disgraced)THAT'S IT---I'm sure it was
called Mario Party, because that was a N64
game and----and...............oh, drat......Super Mario Bros..You're kidding me!!! I actually
have a brother?Yes, the brother that said
"Sigh...." just a few lines ago even though
he's getting a Christmas tree and is not here at this very moment.NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(evaporates into the great
beyond)Oh THAT brother!! I assumed you
were talking about one that actually exists!!!!'s expense)Is there any room left in the
Suicidal Video Game Characters Anonymous
Club? Hohoho, and a Merry Christmas, of course.Hi, I'm Pit, a.k.a, Kid
Icarus!! I'm an angellic being who believes in
dreams, love, and peace!!!Yay!!!!!I'll make you all happy if it's
the last thing I do which it couldn't be
because I'm immortal! Heehee!! (smiles gleefully)Yay!!!!! A believer in dreams
and happy foods!!!So, when's the next meeting?and : Oh, should be tommorow
night at midnight.Midnight, eh? I always wanted
to die at midnight.Now that's enough, Mario, DK,
Bowser!! I gave you guys life and now you
want to destroy it all in some lame running joke?Sorta.
rises 7 feet about 's
cabin,
and begins to sprinkle peace and happiness dust about, here, there, and
everywhere!!)I love life!!!You know what I learned today??What?Life is good!!Really?Yes, it's true!!I don't know about you....but
it's enough to....well, to wanna make me
sing a song!!! Sound good?and : You said it!!
and begin to sing a
very sappy
song)Life..........It's really, really, happy!!Life!!Even if you need an expansion
pak to see me!!!Look what you've done you
cursed angel of above!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRGGGHH!!!!Silly mortal!! I'm not cursed!!
I'm a blessed angel of the heavens with
a mission of love, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...Are you beginning to see why
there weren't any more than 2 Kid Icarus games,
Cranky?Sadly, yes.
is on
her daily secretary work-shift....the phone has rang 86 times)Hey, Saria.Yes?The phone's ringing.It is? Ok.....thanks for
alerting me. (answers phone)Saria!!!Oh, hey Wario!! You know, I was
sorta wondering...Saria!!!.....why have you never come
"right back"? You know, that phrase usually
means that----Saria, Santa and I have been
kidnapped by a maniacal genius!! He has a
sick, twisted, and evil plan to ruin Christmas...........ever play any
of the Mega Man games?!??!?..............(smiles playfully) You're
joking, right? I've missed your since of humor,
ever since you left Hyrule....(gives Santa the phone) HOHOHO.........OH........I didn't know
it was that serious, sir!!! Hohohoho........hoho.Ok.... gives the
phone back to )How'd you understand any of
that Santa HO-ing?................Never mind.......Saria, I need
you to get help.....Sure. There's tons of the
illegal weaponry stashed away in the basement,
and---That WON'T help. Dr. Wily is
serious. He has more power than even any of
Santa's most hi-tech gadgets can handle. You need to get SERIOUS help.
We need the help of Nintendo's finest.......have you ever flown Santa's
sleigh?You're pretty, Saria!(eyes become flames) I'M ON THE
PHONE, MIDO!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............And have a Merry Christmas. Now
what were you saying, Wario?Have you ever flown Santa's
sleigh?Yes.Good. Have any maps? Compasses?I'm one of Santa's Kokiris, the
Christmas Spirit will guide me.Oh..well, bring a compass and a
map just in case. Go to the island of Donkey
Kong.Where's that?
hands the phone over to again) Hohoho, Saria.Hmmm...let me check the
map.......Yeah, you're right, Santa,
that's exactly where it's located. Ok, I'll
try to get help there right away!!!!!!,
who is jetting towards towards BOTVGH island with )Stupid old man............I
don't understand him..........If I finally
destroy Mega Man............maybe then, then he'll see that I'm worth
something...............(
sets his CPU-locater on the coordinate of 's
unit number)....Merry Christmas, Doc........IF YOU'RE SO ANGELLIC, WHY
DON'T YOU JUST UNTIE ME FROM THIS CHAIR?!?!??!It's not in my nature!! (smiles
gleefully)I'm here to announce something,
guys!!!What is it Toad?The writer has run out of funny
things to do.(singing) And we love life
because, blah, blah, blah!!!He is submitting us to doom.Peace and happiness, and peace
and happiness!!!!Hey everybody, I'm back with a
Christmas tree!!!
notices the angellic being hovering over 's
house, bringing tidings of comfort and joy, but not really)Hey.........why IS there an
angellic being hovering over Cranky's house,
bringing tidings of comfort and joy, but not really?STOP THE
SINGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Why is Bowser, Mario, and DK
singing tunes about happiness and joyful living?MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S ALMOST
CHRISTMAS, LUIGI!!!!!!!!!! DIDJA THINK OF THAT?!??!And why is Peach tied to a
chair on the roof?!?!?Bah!And when did Mr. Miyamoto
arrive?!??!?!?!Humbug!!!And WHY is Link holding a sword
to Mario's neck?!?!?Because he's driving me insane,
genius!!!!!!!!!!Bah!Humbug?!?!?Humbug!!!Humbug: @!#$%!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE US HUMBUGS ALONE. And then, and then-----Jimmy
the Thanksgiving Ham...*sniff*....he--he......*sob*.....HE
JUST LEFT ME!!!!!!!!AND WHY IS KIRBY HAVING AN
EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN OVER A DEAD PIG MEAT?!??!?!??!?!??!
SINCE WHEN DO HUMBUGS EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!Since I made them, because I'm
technically a god, or did you forget that
while you mozied around downtown smoking a pack of cigarettes, and
forgettin'
about OUR CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!!!WHAT?!!?!?!??YEAH, YOU COULD'VE ARRIVED A
FEW YEARS SOONER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND WHERE IS THE CHRISTMAS
SPIRIT?!?!?!??!? Why.....is everyone..........so
angry?!??!?!??!?!?That's the ugliest tree I have
ever seen in my immortal life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'll cheer everyone up with
tidings of comfort and joy!!! (begins to sprinkle
happy dust upon the island)I feel even happier!!!!Let's sing a song that's even
sappier then the last one!!!!!(begins to sing) Oh I like ham
because it's juicy and delicious and it's
fun!!!!!!!!.............WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EVERYONE SHUT UP....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Everyone: ....................................... That's better.NOW, AS I WAS
SAYING...............................(glares around)(under
breath).........bah...................(glares at )......................humbug...............................Ahem, as I was saying, I am
back with this year's Christmas tree!!!! We
obviously don't need any angel or star for the top of the tree, since
we
already have a little Greek mythology boy fluttering above us.Hey, Kirby, I have a message
from beyond for you!!You do?!Yeah!! Jimmy says that all is
well, and that you shouldn't worry about
him because he is in pig meat heaven!!!Somebody
stop................................................the
idiocy..................................Hey, Link.......we finally
agree on something!!!!Hey, you're
right.........................Do I sense a date coming near?....................Come on......you know you're
wild....I'm your juiciest fantasy, Sam!!!Trying.....................so
hard!! (struggles to keep her fist of death
down) Just can't...............cannot.......break
word......................................need
aspirin.......for head...........unngghh.......must......survive.Annoying Ad Man: Or you could us Sighlenol!!! What if no one wants to?Annoying Ad Man: Better against sneezing, headaches, heck, anything!! Buy it!! Or just send us money!! Whew.......FINALLY, A
TARGET!!!!!!!!! (releases all of her stress
upon the advertisement man)Luigi, that tree looks........I
dunno.........weird.I just found it in the middle
of nowhere!!!!!!!...........................................................Luigi,
where
is the "middle of nowhere"?In the middle of nowhere. In
the forest, where do you think?!Why didn't you buy a tree from
me? (thinks back to when
bought a tree from him last year)Forget that question. Luigi,
you have to remember who you got it from!!!!!!!!!!!!I dunno.........it seems
like......it seems like.......Yes...............YES????It seems like I found it in the
middle of nowhere.Do you know what this
means?!??!?!?!?!?!?What?This is.............THE TREE OF
DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (holds up printed
version of BOTVGH Christmas 3 and points to the Master Hand scene)
slams to the ground)Yes..........that's
right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Gasp!!!!!!!!Gasp!!!!!!!!!!Bah!!!!!!!!!!!Gasp!!!!!!!!!!!Gasp!!!!!!!!!!!Humbug!!!!!!!!!!!Humbug?!???!??!?Humbug!!!!!!!!!!!!!Stop this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Bah!!!!!!!!!!!!Ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Humbug!!!!!!!!!!!!!You fools!! I am starting to
wonder if the trouble of devising this......(dramatic
music)..TREE OF DOOM, was worth it!!Master Hand?!?But we destroyed you!!UH.....You weren't in Super
Smash Brothers, Princess.What?! Why not?!??Why the heck wasn't I in it
either?Or I?!??Or me?!??!?BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL
PATHETIC........I'm scared, Mario!! He knows
how to talk in big, booming caps!!There, there
Peach...........What are you doing here, Master Hand!??!(senses his true evil intent)He has plans for that tree.Why, that's right Ness. I've
just been waiting for Luigi to deliver it......it,
that is, being THE TREE OF
DOOM..........DOOM............DOOM..............DOOM............DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!Doom..........doom............doom..............doom............doom?Echo effect.Ah.You'll all pay by
midnight..............when...........(sings) We wish
you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a
merry
Christmas, and a happy............KABOOM!!!! Don't take this the
wrong way, I'm not after the destruction of the entire island, but what
Mario, Luigi, Link, Samus Aran, Kirby, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Fox Mcloud,
Ness, Captain Falcon, Pikachu, and Jigglypuff did to me was
unforgivable......and
unforgetable!!!!Do you know how much my hand
has hurt since that day?!I like this guy.There was no reason to hurt me!!Lots of integrity. I bet he
eats prunes.Everyone: SHUT UP!! They're good fer you..You trapped our souls in a
group of action figures, Master Hand!! And then
you played around with us, and made us battle, but you know what?! It
wasn't
fun enough for us to stick around, so we beat your sorry
butt.........uhhh....if
you had one!!!!!!Does it matter if you're right,
Ness? Really? The Christmas tree will explode
by 12:01, so spend your time wisely.Oh, I was just wondering when
the crisis would begin!! Sigh......This is all very amusing,
Master Hand, but do you really think that you
can suceed in this plot?If I were not more than pixels
and life, I would not be floating above
this ground today, Shigeru-san. Ponder upon that...
disappears.......)Oh no, what'll we do!!! I'M
STILL STUCK ON THIS ROOF.......(glares at ).........and,
we have the Christmas tree of doom with us.You really wanna get down from
that roof, Peach?!Yes.Maybe later.Yes, and I guess I'll go buy
your Christmas present later, also....Mama-mia!!!
punches unconscious
and
begins to untie ) Nothing to worry about,
everyone!!!Gasp!! It's Captain Falcon!!!Hey buddy, I thought you didn't
exist in this episode!! I didn't!! The writer just
dropped me in!! My real purpose
here is to try to defuse the Christmas tree bomb, and then fail,
leaving
you all in despair!!Gosh, we just can't have enough
of that good ol' despair around Christmas
time!!!(conscious again) Yeah, heh,
isn't it great?)...................You guys
just don't know what's fun, why back in the
ol' days, we were always in despair!! That's because we ate wood!!!!You did? Did it taste like
chocolate?It tasted better than
chocolate, kid!! It tasted like wood!! Just as I thought!! This is
impossible.Sigh......let me give it a
try........My head hurts..........This is terrible......You can say that again......No, it's just terrible that the
island is going to blow up before I do
my Christmas shopping.Peach....Yeah, Mario?This may seem like a very funny
idea, but..........why don't you just do
your Christmas shopping BEFORE the bomb goes off, assuming that it does?Great idea, Mario!!Mama-mia.That Christmas tree
is.....gasp.......evil!!Brilliant.
lands), ,
and : TAKE US WITH
YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!Link!!Saria!!Fly!!Ok....Off Dasher, of Prancer,
off Donner and Blitzen, and all of those
other reindeer and stuff!!!!Bye!! Have fun saving the world
and stuff!!!Link....it's been so long!!!Yeah, yeah, now what's the
problem?Huh?Kid, I've been waitin the whole
episode for a sleigh to land and for me
to called away into some heroic duty!!! It's SCARY down there on BOTVGH
Island!!A floating hand the size of an
elephant, an annoying angel, a Christmas
tree of doom, chaos everywhere.....all we need is a partridge in a pear
tree to top it all off!!!I could get Santa to get you
one!!Sigh....Wario hasn't kidnapped Santa
again, has he?No.......it's a bit uglier than
that....it's more of a....hostage situation.Hostage situation!! ALRIGHT!!
VIOLENCE!!!!!!Heehee...always the same, Link.Excuse me as I barf.Who's holding St. Nick hostage?You sound as if you're an
expert on this!!One, I'm a plumber. Two, I've
done this TWICE before!!!Well, it's Dr. Wily......Wario
didn't tell me why, but Dr. Wily is interested
in becoming Santa Claus...so he has Santa and Wario, who just became an
elf--Wario's one of Santa's elves?
Ha!!!!!!Hey, he's not an elf, he's a
Hylian!!!!WARIO IS A HYLIAN?Well, yeah, Link, didn't you
know?............Long story. You see, before he
moved to Brooklyn at the age of 7, which,
was when you first met him, right, Mario?Right.Well, before that, his mother
and father had lived in a small cottage,
not far from the entrance to Kokiri Forest...........Back then, he would often
wander into Kokiri Forest, and he soon became
could friends with me....I treated him like a big sister, if I had even
known how that would be done, anyway......
walked into Kokiri Forest)So, Wario, what do you wanna do
today?Gee, Saria......we had a lot of
fun exploring those "lost" woods yesterday,
but, today.....today, do you think you could come over to my house
today,
and....and maybe play some ball?Sigh.......I've told you
already, Wario...............I wish that I could,
I really do, but--but I can't. I can never leave Kokiri Forest.Whoa...that's bad.(smiles) .......not as bad as
having the name "Wario".Hey!!!Hey Saria!! Looka what I found
in the grass!!! 10 rupees!! Heheheheh!!!!!Heehee.....Wario........oh,
I'll never get your fascination with rupees!!
Keep it up, and you'll either be the greediest person in the world, or
the richest.Hey! Why can't I be both?!One day, he just had to
leave.....I'm happy to see him again......Hey, why don't I remember him?He'd visit very late in the
evening......Link, you'd always be dozing off
by that time!!And that would explain his
pointy-eared appearance. Hmmmm....Well, anyway, they're being
held Dr. Wily........so, ok, it's not really
a hostage situation yet.....but once Dr. Wily finds out our plan, it
might
turn into one.....let's just hope that things don't get ugly.Did Santa ask for our help
specifically?Yes....Alright!! I knew all of our
heroics would pay off!! Now we're like Santa's
buddies or something!!!!)The island is just
ahead....come on, Mega Man..............let's hear a
couple of Christmas carols!! (insert more cheesy bad guy lines)Writer: Oh no!! What'll happen? Will Bass learn how to speak dilligently? Will the Christmas tree blow up? Will the chaos ever end? Find out in Part 3!! |
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