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| Top
Row: Mario, Luigi, Wario, Yoshi, Peach, Bowser, Wart, and Kamek the MagiKoopa Middle Row: Mallow, Geno, H Cuz, Cow King, Mega Man, Ryu, Ken, and Chun Li Bottom Row: Cranky Kong, Jessie, James, Meowth, Misty, Mew (Pokémon #151), Electrode, and Golbat Not pictured: William Shakespeare |
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| OK,
first off, who's today's writer? Well,
up there it says H Cuz, but I don't see him anywhere... He's
over there. (Points to where
is playing Pokémon on Game Boy) YES!!!
I got Articuno! Woohoo!!! But..... I really wish I could find a way to
get my Haunter to evolve... You
need to trade, of course. (Points his wand, another Game Boy appears) Gee
thanks, Kamek! Now.... (links up the two Game Boys and gets Haunter to
evolve into Gengar)
(
walks up to and snatches both
Game Boys away) Hello?!
We're trying to do an episode and you're playing games! Well,
excuse me.
(Team Rocket comes running in, very angry) Grrrr.....
There you are!!!
Who? YOU!!!!
How dare you put us in such a ludicrous situation in your pre-season
episode!! Oh.
Err, well, you see, that was Kamek over here.... he's the one who
opened
the portal-- Hey,
keep me out of your affairs. Don't
try to make excuses! No one insults Team Rocket and gets away with it! As
the author, you're held responsible for everything that happens. So
don't
try to weasel out! Ummm,
err, well..... Hey!! Look over there, it's ummmm, a really rare
Pokémon!
Yeah!! Do
you take us for idiots or something?! Frankly, I am--
(
Mega Punches Team Rocket) Well,
thanks, Mew. Just
remember: you owe me.
Ummmm...... Is this supposed to be funny? I
dunno, I'm just trying to-- You
should try to learn something about Pokémon!! Pidgeotto is a
bird!
Caterpie-- Umm,
Misty. That's your script from the TV show. Uh,
right.... oops. Hee hee. Well,
now, let's see.... I need a storyline. WHAT??!!!!
YOU DON'T HAVE A STORYLINE?!???!!!?!?! Lack
of a storyline has never bothered me. Watch this! (
kidnaps ) GET
BACK HERE!!! (beats up ,
saving ) Such
originality.
(
shows up) Originality?
What do you kids know about originality.... The only reason these N64
games
are doing so well is because they're just newfangled versions of old
games
with familiar characters!! Link.... Diddy.... and of course,
Jumpman..... FOR
THE LAST TIME, YOU OLD WRINKLED COOT----- Come
ON!!! We need a storyline!! What?
You want us to write it for you or what?! Yeah!!
I'll take over from here! I always wanted to write one of these... Get
my revenge on everyone who's abused me.... Especially you, Mario!
Bwahahaha!!! ....Bowser
as a writer for BOTVGH. Just what the world needs.... goody.
Hey!.... I'd
make a GREAT writer. Why, I bet I'd have everyone saying, "Ian who"? Yeah,
I'm sure you would, Bowser......
(
and go into a raspberry
contest)
Where's Dr. Wily? He always provides a storyline.
Hmmm.... The
last I heard from him, he was being sued by Team Rocket in Episode 7. I
seriously doubt he'll be bothering us today....
D'OH!!!!!!!! Oh well..... Here's the Handbook. Maybe there's something
here. Let's see.... "In case of lack of storyline, resolve everything
with
a huge explosion just like the movies." Worth a shot, huh, guys? H
Cuz, I don't think this is such a good--
(***BOOOOMMMMM!!!!!***) ...........idea. Ummm...
heh... Just like the movies, right? Right, guys? (Nervous laugh)
(Everyone, charred black from the explosion, glares at
angrily.)
What? *cough*
That does it, I'm writing the episode now. Give me that hat. What?
Go get your own hat. You have no idea how much time and money and
effort
went into making this hat. You
dumbbell, you didn't do anything. Martin drew that hat for free and
e-mailed
it to you, remember? Ohhhh
yeah...... Someone
help me get an idea! Kamek, get another writer in here!! Sure....
(Points his wand, and William Shakespeare
appears) A
BOTVGH writer, you idiot.... Oops....Shakespeare: To be, or not to ---- HEY!! You have Articuno! I'll trade for a Venusaur!!! How 'bout it, H Cuz? Huh? Bill.....
can it wait?Shakespeare: Uhhh, yeah, I guess. Anyhow, here's a story idea. (Hands a story) Sorry,
man, I am NOT turning "Hamlet" into a BOTVGH episode.Shakespeare: Well, then, be that way. Now, about that trade.... Don't
get your hopes up.Shakespeare: Awwwww. (Shakespeare leaves) H
Cuz, I wanna write the episode now. NO!!!!
I should be the writer! I have the hat and everything!! I
WANNA WRITE THE THING!!!!
SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!!! H Cuz, you know they'd all screw up terribly....
Maybe I should write it.
I'm writing it, you guys. Live with it. Fine.
But I'll be e-mailing you an episode soon. And you'd BETTER put it up,
or else!!! Ummm,
right.... Sure, Bowser.... Now let's see.... we just need a crisis to
resolve,
and we'll be in business.
(
and come running in) Man,
you guys, you'll never guess what Wario's up to. Trying
to take over the archives?! Terrorizing
the innocent?! Running
for president?! Fighting
Captain Syrup?! Is
he getting married?! Is
he writing a BOTVGH episode?!
No, no, no, no, no, and no.
He's trying to sing in public.
I was close....
Wario's trying
to sing? In PUBLIC?! Yikes.... That
was my next guess.... but Puffy here interrupted me... My
NAME is Mallow, thank you very much. Bah.
I'll call you whatever I like. That goes for you too, "Jumpman". "Stupid
Monkey". That's
it? Wario's trying to sing in public? Well....
umm.... it is pretty horrid, isn't it? You ever heard him sing? Mallow
and I were lucky to escape with our sanity..... Not
really. But it's not a pleasant sound nevertheless. Okay,
so it's not the hugely diabolical scheme we were hoping for. It's
something
at least.... Come on, guys! WE GOTTA STOP WARIO'S EVIL REIGN OF, ummmm,
well I guess you could call it a reign of terror.... No,
not really...... Just extremely loud and off key.... Well,
we'll take whatever we can get. Not
much excitement around these parts, no sirree. I
can't believe you youngsters took this long to come up with a
storyline,
especially such a LAME one..... why, if I was writing it.... The
world as we know it would come to an end. I
should be writing..... Shut
up, Luigi.....
(Elsewhere) Siiiingin'
in the rain, just siiiiingin' in the rainnnnnn......
(People are running all over the place in a panic, covering their ears in agony. Babies are crying. Old people have taken out their hearing aids.)
(singing obliviously) Siiiiingin -- huh? Hold
it right there, Wario! You've carried on long enough!! Oh,
geez, Mario, you're such an imbecile. I'm simply trying to enjoy a
peaceful
stroll around the island. Even YOU couldn't object to that. Now if
you'll
excuse me...... (sings) I'm in the money, I'm in the money.... Shut
up Wario! Your singing STINKS!!! Just take a look....
(The entire island is in chaos.) Mario,
are you suggesting that all this is because of my singing? I'm so
hurt.....
Oh I know, this is payback for the time I gave you a wedgie in front of
everyone, isn't it Mario? I--I,
that is, whatever are you talking about? I don't remember that...... I
remember that. That was hilarious!! Shut
UP Bowser.... Anyway, Wario, the truth of the matter is, well, we don't
have a storyline for this episode. So we came here to bug you. Well,
you shoulda said so!!! But then again... it's not like I care. Heheheh.
Now if you'll excuse me..... (starts to sing the theme song from Super
Mario Bros.) (cringes) On
the annoyance scale, this ranks right up there with Baby Mario's
whining.... Uggghhhh.....
volume control please.... How
can you kids call this NOISE "music"?! Well....
we DON'T!!!!! AAARRRRGGGHHHH....
My head...... My head doesn't feel too good.... (puts
on earmuffs) This
doesn't sound half bad.
(All stare at ) Grrrr......
THAT DOES IT!!!!!! No one butchers MY theme song and gets away with
it!!
YAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! (runs and punches )
(
flicks and
goes flying)
Electrode, Screech attack!!
Golbat, Supersonic now!!
(
and unleash their noisiest
attacks, but covers his ears
and sings all the louder.) Unnnnggghhh!!!!
Someone stop him before it's too late! I'll
do it! "Mute"!!!
(
mutes )
Whoa... nice going, Kamek.... Heh
heh heh--
( starts
singing again) Crud.
The spell wore off. HEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!
I am invincible!! (sings) That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh
huh, uh huh.... NO!
Not that!!!! Where's
H Cuz? We need him!!
(Elsewhere on the island....) So
then, it's agreed? My Poliwhirl for your Squirtle?Shakespeare: Deal!!!! (Back to the characters) You
whippersnappers are so dense.... Cow King will take care of
everything..... Cow
King is on vacation today. ON
VACATION?!?!! What could he possibly be doing that's more important
than
helping us?!?!!
(Glad you asked....)
My Snorlax for that Articuno? I
already have a Snorlax.Shakespeare: Hey Cow King, I'll trade you my new Poliwhirl for your Snorlax. Do
you take me for an idiot?!Shakespeare: Well, I dunno..... You're a freaking COW, after all... Why
you......
( 
lands on Shakespeare)(But back to our story) Oh,
this is just great!!! Our author, and the bovine ruler, and a
playwright
who's supposed to be long dead, are all off trading Pokémon with
each other!!! We
gotta do something!!!! Call in Mega Man!! Samus Aran!!! The Street
Fighters!!!!
ANYONE!!!!!! Someone
call us?..... UGH!!!! What is that AWFUL noise??!!!?! That
would be Wario. Funny.
I've never seen you here before. Well,
that's what you get for missing Season 4. Pokémon has become an
important part of the BOTVGH Ar---- (sounds of 's
singing interrupts him) Come
on, punks!! Gimme your best shot!!!! All
right, you asked for it!!
(The fighters try their attacks on , but
they bounce off his fat belly, hitting the fighters.) Heheheh!!!
H Cuz, normally I don't tolerate fat jokes, but in this case I'll make
an exception!!! HEHEHEH!!!!! Ouuuuccchhh!!!!
The villains here have gotten a bit tougher since we last-- LOOK
OUT!!!!!!!
(Suddenly,
falls down from above, squashing all three fighters) Bwahahahaha!!!!!!
Mario, long time no see!!! And Luigi, and the Princess!!!!! It's
Wart!!! Impossible!!!
How on earth did he get here?! Found
you at last, Mario!! And after all these years, I'll finally have my
revenge
for Super Mario Bros. 2!!! Well,
this is just great..... Now we gotta deal with Wario AND Wart...... At
least that means H Cuz came up with another idea.... Goody... I
think I liked it better when there was no storyline.
and : (singing) We are the
champions.......???????: Sweet mother of mercy, you two, SHUT THE #@!&#% UP!!! (??????? reveals himself to be ) Hmmm....
Mega Man's here.... Time to bring out the BIG guns!!! Uhhh....
what big guns? THIS!!!
(starts yodeling)All: AAAAA!!!!!!! (All the good guys except and
faint) (Turns
off the audio on his helmet) Heh.... I love being a robot.... What?
Why isn't it working?! Maybe I shouldAAAAAAA!!!!! (Gets hit by a Mega
Buster
blast) I'll
fix him!! (Shoots bubbles at ,
knocking him out) You
overgrown frog!! Take this!!! (Throws an asparagus, which hits
squarely in the face) OUUUUCCCHHH!!!!!
I'll be back, Mario, just you wait!!! (disappears)
(All the good guys (including , ,
and ) come to their senses
and glare at )
Uhhh.... gotta split. (Races off)
(Later)
How'd it go? We
showed that creep a thing or two. No thanks to YOU. Cool.
Because I found this episode's plot while you were gone. It was buried
under a pile of dust.All: YAY! WE HAVE THE PLOT AT LONG LAST!!!!! ( 's
beeper goes off)
Unfortunately, we can't apply the plot now because the episode's over. So
what was today's plot supposed to be? It wasn't Wario, was it? Actually,
no.... it was Wart.All: ........... Interesting
indeed...... Huh?
Did I miss something? No
no no, of course not. Right, guys? Well,
actually......
(
punches ) I
mean, why no, nothing at all. END
THIS PITIFUL EXCUSE FOR AN EPISODE!!!! I'M SLOWLY GOING INSANE!!!
You mean you're not already? I
HEARD THAT!!!!
THE END (finally!)
Man, was I cheated...... HEY!!!! You have a Venusaur!! Let's trade, OK??Shakespeare: Ummmm....... |
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