Wow, is it Season 4 already?
Yeah, we've
lasted more seasons than lots of TV shows ever did.
 This BOTVGH thing never ends,
does it?
Nope!
By
the way who's
writing this episode?
(
appears)
AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
Who's he?
One
of Cranky's
least favorite writers.
I
heard he's
got a short on the way, and possibly another ep later this season.
No
fair, you peeked.
AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
Don't have a
cow, Crank.
Too
late for
that.
What do you
mean?
(
falls on )
Hey look, someone is coming!
(
and  arrive)
Hi everyone!
Hey
guys. What's
up?
Do
you have any
idea when Ultra Donkey Kong is coming out?
You're asking
US?!
Wouldn't YOU
know?
Nope!
We
don't want
to have to wait too much longer. Ever since Diddy Kong Racing came out,
the rest of us Kongs have been ignored.
No
one ever
ignores me.
As
much as we
try to...
SHUT UP JUMPMAN!!!!!!!
Huh? Were you
talking to me? I don't answer to the name "Jumpman" anymore.
A-HEM. May I
continue?
Oh...sure. Go
ahead, Dixie.
Not
only are
we being ignored, but the success is going to Diddy's head.
(
appears)
Hello, you inferior video game heroes.
Oh
no, he's stuck
up.
All of you,
bow down before me...
Uhhh, no.
(A
falls on )
(whacks with cane)
You young
whippersnapper, I'm the only one around here who can call them
inferior!
No,
I am.
Don't start that
again!!!! Here, let me see... (he opens up a copy of Nintendo Power)
Nope,
Ultra DK isn't even in Pak Watch.
OF
COURSE NOT,
YOU IDIOT!!!! THAT ISSUE'S FROM 1993!!!!!!!!
Oooooops. Who's
got the latest issue?
Me. I'm lookin'...
(flips a few pages) It isn't in here either. (Reads) And what's with
SMRPG
2, it's a 2-D kiddie game.
A
kiddie game?
Really? All right!
It
can't be as
good as the original.
and :
Because Nintendo replaced us with Goombas.
Goombas?
Boy, and I thought Bowser was a bad idea for a party member..
I
heard that!!
I
would have been a much better party member than Bowser, but instead I
just
lead a stinkin' parade!! (starts to cry)
Could
we get a cow over here?!
 Why
sure.
(
falls on and )
If you want the cow to miss you, you have to pay an extra 200 coins.
Whatta
rip-off.
But
what about DK 64?
And
SMRPG 2?
You could try looking at http://www.nintendo.com.
That's my favorite
web site!
Oh,
big surprise there.
You
kids and your fancy Internet, in my day...
(
casts Shocker and a huge lightning bolt hits )
There's also this cool Donkey Kong web site that might have something.
Unfortunately, Cranky's the only one who remembers the address.
Oh
no.
What's the address,
Cranky?
I
forgot.
Memory's the
first thing to go.
My
memory is
just fine, Jumpman. But I doubt that anyone could memorize all those
silly
letters and numbers. It's ridiculous, I tell you! When I was a lad...
Urrrggghh!!!
Quick, DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW THE ADDRESS OF THIS SITE???
Of
course. It's
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/6501/.
Not THIS site,
silly, the Donkey Kong web site.
Oops. Dunno.
Actually, the
DK site moved.
To
where?
Dunno.
Dang.
(sarcastic):
Well, how helpful of you, H Cuz.
Won't
you ever be quiet?!
Not
likely. Mwa ha ha.
Where were we?
Here.
What-ever.
Hey, look who's
coming!
(
appears)
(To the beat of the rap theme from Yoshi's Story) Pi, pika pika, pika
CHU!
WHAT!?!?!?!
It
says in the
parentheses, it's the rap theme from Yoshi's Story, with a Pikachu
twist.
The
Yoshi rap
took forever to download, but it was worth it.
Download? You
mean, you don't have Yoshi's Story?
(pouting) I don't
even have an N64.
Oh
man.
*Sigh*
Pika, pika-chuuuu...
We
all feel
sorry for you.
Yeah
right, Bowser.
What
do you want us to do about it?
One
of you could
let me borrow yours.
Everybody: NO!!!!
What
if I threatened
to drop a cow on you?
(A
falls on )
HEY! What was that for?
You don't come
NEAR my N64, pal!
Oog.
You're fired,
Cow King.
Is that so?
(20 more fall on )
*gasp* Never mind.
Serves him right!
(A
starts to fall on ,
but he
steps out of the way!)
HA HA!!!! I'm getting wise to your tricks, you predictable writer you!
I am invincible!!!
(An army
of elephants
appear above )
Oh Cranky, you're so wise and invincible! No one dares try hurt you!
That's right,
Jumbo Jumpo. Hey, why's everyone giggling?
Don't look up,
Crank!
(Of
course,
looks up, just in time to see the elephants drop)
Uh-oh...
(The
elephants all
land on and when he
gets
up, knocks him into
the next
episode)
Calling me Jumpman is bad enough, but I draw the line at Jumbo
Jumpo!!!...
Where's my lawyer?!
Actually,
I'm a part-time attorney.
You're not my lawyer, Wario is.
But
he's not
in this episode.
Wait, who's coming?
( ,  ,
and  arrive)
You guys are running late.
You were supposed
to have finished this episode quite a while ago.
Why are you
here?
We're here for
the next episode. Like we said, you're running late.
So, I guess
this is the end of the episode. And about time, too.
   But we want to say
something!!!!
(A
falls on
and )
You just did.
I
think we all
saw that one coming.
Yeah, this
end-of-the-episode
cow thing is practically a tradition by now.
Hey, what happened
to the old geezer?
I
knocked him
into the next episode.
This
is running
way overtime, could we just end the thing already and get this show on
the road?!
ALL
RIGHT ALREADY!
Sheesh...
THE END!
Are you happy now?!
Quite.
Next writer
please! |
