it Jumpman, I'm the all-time best!
Oh come on Crank, even in the arcade "Donkey Kong" all you did was beat your chest and roll barrels.
Well you weren't so active yourself in D.K. Jr.!
Maybe, but you were still klutzy enough to get captured.
Mario, my best buddy in the whole wide world! How's it going, my superior sibling?
Whoa, what's with you, Luigi? Given up the whole jealousy thing?
Well, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." I don't gain any popularity by trying to upstage you, so now I'm going to gain fame by being your best friend. We'll be inseparable, so I'll automatically be in any games you're in. YESSSSSS!!!!!!!
Luigi, please, don't embarrass me.
We are supposed to be a pair, not unlike the Wright Brothers or Abbott & Costello.
Quiet! I'm trying to argue with Jumpman!
I'll teach you to call me Jumpman! (starts to advance)
Wait! I know a way to settle, once and for all (or at least until the next episode), who's the best!
What is it?
A BOTVGH Olympics. What do you think?
I guess Mario wins by default.
Oh no you don't! I'll go along with your silly Olympics!
Good. Since I don't know anything about doing stuff like this, I got some help.
SMB3 is the best 8-bit game ever made.
Hah, in my opinion they were all terrible after I retired.
(ignores ) I prefer SMB2. SMB3 sucked.
Just because you smashed through the floor and got yourself killed in that game...
Well, not quite killed. I trimmed down 20 pounds, bought a new clown car, and was back for Mario World.
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please! We are ready to start the first ever BOTVGH Olympics! Now let me introduce our contestants! Representing Nintendo Island is the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, Dinosaur World and beyond, Mario!!!!!
Everybody except : YAAAYYY!!!
And representing, uhh, himself is Cranky Kong, a legend in his own mind!
Everybody else: BOOOO!!!!
Ha ha. Loser. (He throws another egg at )
OW! (to ) Get on with the Olympics, you freaky fungus!
One more crack like that and you'll be disqualified, ya dumb monkey.
Our first event is a throwing game, like the one in Donkey Kong Country 3. Mario, pick your game.
Ummmm, Race to 25.
Okay! The winner is the first to hit 25 targets! 3, 2, 1, start!
You're on Crank!
The second event is a kart race through Toad's Turnpike!
The third event is a battle with Bowser, for any true video game hero must be able to beat up big, bad bosses!
And Bowser is the biggest, baddest boss ever to grace a TV screen.
Bwahaha, Mario first!
So long-a, Bowser! (He beats easily)
OK Cranky, your turn!
You're a wimp. (Whacks with his )
(exaggerated tone) Oh my, the old wrinkled coot called me a wimp! Whatever will I do?
Allllllll righty then!
Oh great, now Swanky thinks he's Jim Carrey.
I DO NOT!!!! Ummm, okay. The next event is Pokemon battling! Cranky, name your Pokemon!
Ummm, OK. I'll send out my Magikarp.
Puh-lease. I can beat that with one hand tied behind my back. (Throws his Poke Ball, out comes )
Pidge-ohhh?... PIDGYAWWW!!! ( attacks )
That's not hair, it's feathers.
OW!! I don't care what they are, let's move on to the next event!
Hoo boy, Cranky, you're down 5-0.
Event number six...
No way! I quit! You have no respect for your elders...
And the winner, by default, of the BOTVGH Olympics is... Mario!!!!!!!!
Everybody except : YAAAYYY!!!
Oh don't be such a sore loser, Cranky.
Just shut up, Cranky.
H CUZ, SHUT HIM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, it's not in my contract.
Well, at least end this episode! PLEEEASE!!!!
But I hardly got to say anything!
( falls on )
Well, that wraps up the first-ever BOTVGH Olympics! Thank you for joining us and have a good night!
(holding gold medal) Sydney 2000, here I come!