The battle of the Video Game Heros!

Boy is this thing ever long. ;)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Ian's Part 10
Gerbell's Part 10
Gerb's Part 11
Andrew's part 12
Ian's Part 13

Part 1!

Cranky shut up! No one wants to hear about "The good old days!"

Oh "Jumpman", back for more eh? [hits

with cane]

:::stunned by cane::: We.. well... hey! Stop calling me jumpman! I've been renamed you old ape. In fact, I was renamed 12 years ago! What's the matter, old age catching up with you?

Shut up "Jumpman!" Go annoy your brother Luigi. [kicks

in the butt]

PAUSE!

[asksand ]Can I join the fight?

NO!!!

::sniff:: Awww...... [walks off]

Unpause!

Hey! Stop! I can throw you off this page you know. I also know Ninjitsu! [ becomes]
I've learned a few tricks since 1993 [kicks ]
Ow! Hey, you've gotten a little better since we last fought. Let's finish this later. Not that I'm tired or anything....
Finish this later? You must be gettin' old.
Why you......errr.....uhhh...... :::sigh:::

My good friend Ian Pugh was the person who came up with these continuations of the battle! Let's all give him a hand! ::claps::

Part 2!

(My good friend Ian Pugh was the person who came up with these continuations of the battle!)

Boy, you're a wimp! You were harder before I met Bowser!
You'll never learn, "Jumpman"! I've had tougher adventures!
You mean with "Stanley the Bugman", when you finally chickened out?
Stanley? He was a real jerk! Spraying me with that Bug Repellant...
Bug Repellant? It must not have worked. You're still here.
Ooooohhh... You make me so mad!
What're you goin' to do about it? Throw your dentures? And I think I don't need my Ninja Abilities. (turns back into )
Well, you were simply a wimp when you captured me and my son brought me back!
Well, I didn't see you trying to get out of the cage!

PAUSE!

Are you sure I can't join the fight?
and

YES!!!!!!

Aw, c'mon!

UNPAUSE!

You wimp!
Wimp!!!??? You haven't had much activity since the early 1980's!
Well, what've you done recently?
(Sarcastically) Oh, I don't know. A little thing called "Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island".
Well, I starred in a recent game in which I free that bumbling idiot Donkey Kong!
STARRED IN??!! If I'm correct, Diddy and Dixie Kong starred in that.
They only had a minor part.
MINOR!? They saved Donkey Kong! ( kicks )
Ow! ...SIGH...

Part 3!

Man, Cranky, don't you give up?
Nope!
We'll see about that! ( kicks )
Ow! OK! I give up! I'm going to Nintendo to talk them into giving me a game...
Ooooohhhh no you don't! ( turns into and karate chops )
Umph! I'm not quittin' after that!
That was the idea, lunkhead.
Lunkhead?! Well, you didn't act so swift in the head yourself in the regular Mario Bros.!
Wha'? Well back then there was no such thing as mushrooms, so the only weapon we had was the POW block and bumping the platform that an enemy was on!
Don't be so stupid! I remember in Super Mario Bros. 3 you somersaulted when you were jumping, and were invincible! Showoff! ( hits with cane)
Showoff? That was a reaction to Starmen! I realize this wil take simple Mario strength! ( turns back into )

PAUSE!

Please, please, please, please can I join the fight?
and FOR THE LAST TIME

NO!!!

Please?
Listen, BROTHER. Keep whining and you'll have no more stardom games like "Mario is Missing"! GOT IT?
Oh, OK.

UNPAUSE!

Now that that's settled....
Let's rumble, "Jumpman"!
Just a second! Why do you call me "Jumpman" and you call my brother Luigi?
Because he was originally called Luigi. And you were "Jumpman"!
Call me that again and you won't have any false teeth!
"JUMPMAN"!
Grrrrrrr..... ( kicks )
You think you're soooo smart, don't you?
I know I'm smarter than you!
Izzat so? Well take this! (hits on the butt with his cane)
Ow! I know you were originally called "Donkey Kong" and "Donkey" means stupid in Japanese!
Well... er.... HMPH!

Part 4!

Man, oh man! You stink at this!

Shut up, "Jumpman"!

FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S MARIO!

Whatever.

Now listen here, wrinkled gorrila-face...

Hey!

Hay is for horses.

That joke is older than I am!

I doubt it.

Grrrrrr....

PAUSE!

I wanna fight!
and

ALRIGHT ALREADY!

Oh, boy!

UNPAUSE!

By the way, who's the geezer?
He's a hero...
Thanks!
...In his own mind.
WHAT!!???
Didn't you hear me? Your hearing must be goin' too.
Why you... (Throws cane at , but ducks and hits )
You got real bad aim.
Waaaahhh!!! No fair! I'm leaving!
Serves you right.
(To himself) You're a hero. Yes you are! Yes you are!
No you're not!
Yes you... er... I am!
Old age sure is gettin' ya, Crank.
Well... ack... HMPH!

Part 5!

(Breathing Heavily) Have you had enough??

(Breathing Heavily): Nope!

Let me check my mailbox. (

Checks mailbox)

What is it?

Here's what it says:

Who's it from??

I don't know! It sounds pretty serious!

We better do what it says!

Yeah! OK. Bye, Crank.

Bye, "Jumpman".

Hmmmm. I want to see if this letter makes sense. (

puts letter to light- "Luigi" appears under the word "Sincerely")

Why that little So-and-so! Cranky! Look at this! (

comes to

)

Ooooohhhh!!!!
(

pops up)

Hi.

and

(Coldly) HELLO, LUIGI.

Ulp!

Heh, heh, heh! (

turns into

)

Ha, ha, ha!
(

and

gang up on

and beat him up)

Waaaaaaaahhhhh!!!! I tried to stop you from having a fight.

That'll teach you.

Yeah!

Well, where were we? (

turns back into

)

Shut Up, Dork!

Oh, Right. Monkey-Butt!

"Jumpman"!

I TOLD you not to call me that!

"Jumpman", "Jumpman", "Jumpman", Jumpman"!!!!

Donkey, Donkey, Donkey!

Grrrrrr!

Part 6!!

(My friend Stormshield wrote this continuation! Give him some feedback by clicking: here!.)

(BTW, haven't had time to include pics yet, gonna do it really soon though! Also, could anyone send my a pic of Candy Kong and Funky? I really need 'em! Thanks!)

(rocking in chair) : Ah, Jumpman... the good old days. When I was your age...

Face it Crank... no one cares about the "good old days."

Why you little whipper-snapper... when I was your age...

Bob Dole was in diapers.

Hey! (whacks

with cane.)

You're old, Cranky. If you really think you're the best, play my new RPG that came out!

No way, Jumpman. All those colors. Why, in my day we leapt into the air with joy at seeing just a few shades of gray!

Talk about really seeing things in only black and white!

(whacking

with cane again) : Hey! At least that was when games really were better!

Better for elevator music and two-frame graphics. The music that has been developed now would make you wonder how you ever lived without it!

Oh, that's easy.

Oh?

(hums the original SMB theme and taps his cane.) I live just fine, thank you.
(

and

walk in on the scene.)

Yoo-hoo, Mario! (waves)

His NAME is Jumpman, dearie.

Yo, my main man Mario! (hi-5s

)

JUMPMAN, I tell ya!

(laughing): Hi guys, just talking to Crank here about "when games were games!"

(laughs): Of course you were. (kisses

)

"Games were games?" Man, any game with you in it rules!

You mean when _I_ was in games. When I was starred in them, Jumpman here couldn't beat me at all!

Hey! You were TOO easy to beat! Even the new SM RPG is a piece of cake for me!

(hits

with cane.) : I think not. I'd beat this newfangled "RPG" with only one life if the colors didn't blind me!

Then put on some shades, dude.

Nah, he'd still be blind with 'em on! (laughs along with

and

)

Crank here is so cold in his remarks, they should preserve him throughout time!

Oh, joy. Just what the future needs.

Awwwwwwww... don't pick on ol' Crank... (pats

on the head)

(blushing) : At least SOMEONE appereciates me around here!

(flirting) Wanna marry me, Cranky?

(surprised) S-s-s-s-sure!

NOT! I'm not some anna-nicole-smith look alike looking to marry for money, as if you had any to begin with!

(pouting) But I have some bananas... want one?

That's odd, I thought you traded them for your daily doses of vitamins and Metamucil.

(whacks

with cane) You have respect for your elders, Jumpman.

(laughs) And you have no respect for better game players!

(tries to hit

but misses and hits

!) : I'm a better game player than all a' you!

(begins to sob at the bruise

gave her.)

(sorry) : Don't worry, Candy, it'll heal in time, you spend so much time surfing with Funky, the water should heal it!

(slightly smiles)

Looks like the salt from the water already shriveled you up, Crank!

(laughs)

WHY YOU... I'm not only a better game player, I'm a better SURFER too! Better than all of you combined!
(

looks to

, who shakes his head sadly as if to say "Who does he think he is kidding." He looks to

, who shrugs. He then whaps

over the head with his surfboard.)

Surf's up, dude.

Part 7!

Ian Pugh's latest installment!

You know, you are a REAL idiot and... (

comes)

That's it! I'm tired of your fighting! I'M the bad guy around here!

Not a good one, at that.

Ah, you were just LUCKY! (

listens)

That's enough, Smithy! We had the world in our balance and we beat you!

You and your saving the world bit! In my day, heroes could defeat bad guys in one minute.

Yeah, because I was the hero!

You got that right! This guy really helped out in saving the Star Road!

And how do YOU know that?

Because, I'M in charge of the Star Road!
(

walks in the scenario)

What's going on, guys? Smithy! And who's THIS geezer? As prince of Nimbus Land, I'm telling you to answer.

PRINCE? Why, in my day, royalty was courageous, not a bucket of fluff!

Fluff, eh? Well, 'fluff' this! (Casts Thunderbolt spell on

)

YEEEOOOUUUCCCHHH! You call THAT an attack?

and

: Yes.

Why, in my day...

Shut up, you old wrinkled ape! (

comes)

C'mon, dorks! Let's rumble!

Oh please, Luigi. That's just not you!

Exactly! I'm Yaridovich, an enemy that can change forms!
(

turns into

)

Is it getting crowded in here or is it just me?

C'mon, Smithy! Let's destroy these dweebs!

And so, , and get prepared for attack, while sits on his butt and makes stupid comments.

Part 8!

By Dan Galas(a.k.a. GERBELL)

OUCH!!! Yardovich why'd you hit me????

Ooossp, My mistake, too much Spliting can do that.
(

Super Jumps

)

Take That, and that, and th....

We Get The Point!!!!!
(

whispers to

) You sure I can't hit him?
(

Whispers Back) YES, as big of a pain he is....

I HEARD THAT!!!!!
(

casts SNOWY SPELL on

)

That's enough!!! Bring in Prototype!!!

THAT'S PROTO MAN!!!!!! Jezzz, of all the "Big Villians" you can't SAY MY NAME!!!!!!

So what Potato Man???
(Ominous whisiling sound comes)

NOW I'M HEARING THINGS!!!!!!!!!

SMITHY!! You and that cat duplicated me (shoots a Proto Buster that destroys Fake Proto Man)

$100,000 down the drain!! BELOME!!

YES?????

Give me my Money Back!!
(

gets up and whacks

with his cane)

NO REFUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is Video Games, the only people who get paid are the Creators!!!

and the people who get payed to play the game.

I'm Tired I'm going to Bed!!!!!!
So as

, and

return to fighting

, and

GOES TO SLEEP.

WOO HOOO!!!!!!!!

PART 9

As we last left, it WAS ONE PAGE ABOVE READ IT YOURSELF!!!!!! ;D

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
STILL

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ wha, WHAT'S GOING ON????

SCUZE US COMMING THOUGH

WHAT is this????????????

this is a...ummmm..TRANSFORMER thingy for X

EVERYONE

X??????

oossssspppp wrong place, sorry to bother you.
::::BZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP:::::::
::::::CAPSULE OPEN:::::::
ENTER THIS CAPSULE X.....TAKE THIS UPGRADE FOR YOUR GOLD ARMOR, THIS WILL ALLOW 3 JUMPS, 3 TIMES THE ARMOR, 3 TIMES THE POWER, AND A COOL COLER.

X

........ok.
:::::::BEYOUBEYOUBEYOU SHOCKAAAKAAAKAAAKAAAAKAAA:::::::::

X

OK where's The EVIL, HEY, You look familier!!!!!(pionts to

)

ENOUGH, I WANNA FIGHT!!!!!!!!!! I WANNAA OUFFFFFFFF.
::::gets hit with a hammer from

:::::

great Job Bro.

this???he'll be back in 5 minutes, I just wanted to tell you that there's a psycho that thinks it IS the N64....He calls himself

X

ok........::::::CHARGES MEGA SUPER BUSTER:::::::
::::BLLLLAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT::::::
::::Blows up

,proving once again, Copying is CHEAP::::::::::::

OH MY, WELLLL, Let's fight I WANNA FIGHT!!!!!!

WE CAN'T

WHY NOT????

Because GERBELL IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEA'S FOR PART 9!!!!!!

ohhhhhh, Will there be a part 10?????

..........Only Dan Ian, Rio, and anyone else reading this knows........

PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEE!!!!!!!! Don't end me like this!!!!!!! it's like turning the Power off the N64 to go to the Bathroom....IT'S SSSSSSTTTTTTUUUUUUPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

Part 10, Ian's version!

Sigh. You know, I wish that I had something cool to do.

Yeah. This fight is starting to get monotonous.
EVERYONE (That EVER appeared in all the parts, except Hinopio): I'LL SAY!

You know, I could use some milk. Where's the nearest store, Mallow?

Barrel Volcano.

Barrel Volcano, eh? 'Bout time I see that dude Hinopio again.

(Later, at Hino Mart)

HINOPIO: Yo dudes. What can I do you for?

I need some milk, Hinopio.
HINOPIO: Comin' up!

Milk? I don't need milk! And this store! In my day, stores were...
EVERYONE: DON'T START THIS AGAIN!

Fine, fine. But I still don't need milk.
EVERYONE (Except Hinopio): OF COURSE YOU DON'T NEED MILK! YOU'RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT!!
HINOPIO: Here you are, folks. Milk!
EVERYONE (Except

and Hinopio): MMMM! YOU HAVE GREAT MILK, HINOPIO.
HINOPIO: World's Finest!

Can't you commend somebody around here, Cranky?

No.
EVERYONE: THOUGHT SO!

Aaahhh... this is the life. Has anyone seen the new computers?

You people and your fast 28.8 bps modems! Back in my day we were lucky to even get a 300 bps one! Why, look at all the pictures! We cried with joy just to see Ascii text!
EVERYONE: OH NO! NOT AGAIN!