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Pre-Smash Bros.

By Cletus

Mario was just sitting in the throne room of the Mushroom Kingdom castle, and just as he was about to doze off into blissful slumber...
Luigi burst through the door to the throne room carriyng a large tree trunk that he used as a battering ram.
Luigi: Mario, we gotta talk!
2 Toad guards tried to stop Luigi, but he threw the trunk behind him and flattened them both.
Mario: Hey, bro. Haven't seen you since that big party. What brings you here?
Luigi: Don't "hey, bro" me. You know exactly why I'm here! We were a TEAM, Mario! Whatever happened to that?! We were the unstoppable Mario Brothers! Together, we defeated Bowser and his cronies! Our names: Mario AND Luigi were known throughout the world as the 2 greatest heroes! Now, remember the battle against Smithy? Why didn't you let me join you? We could've finished off Smithy in seconds and not go through all the other trouble you went through. I even see you siding with that overgrown lizard we've shared our victories against! Did you even RESPECT our partnership?! NO!!! And when the N64 came out, it was so cool. I couldn't stop playing with it! But did I get to star in the hit game that kicked it off? NO! Now everyone only thinks of Mario, MARIO, MARIOOO!!!! They forgot all about the teamwork WE had! They've forgotten about ME! Now, I'm gonna show you why my name should never have been forgotten!!!
Luigi raised his arms as a fireball appeared above him. It grew bigger and brighter. He dropped his arms and the giant fireball flew at Mario. He jumped out of the way just as the fireball impacted on the throne, blowing it to bits. Luigi was about to throw another one, but Yoshi landed in front of Mario, ready to protect him.
Yoshi: Luigi, you have no reason to hurt Mario. He's your brother... ok, that was stupid. Let me try again. Ahem. Why do you want to hurt Mario?
Luigi: He's upstaged me for the last time! Now I'm gonna show him why I was such a valuable asset to the team.
Yoshi: Now look, Luigi, I started MY career with Mario, too, and when we broke up, I was fine.
Luigi: Well, you got your own game and fame. Besides, YOU were never a Mario Brother. I have to live in his shadow! Now I've had enough!!!
Suddenly, somebody broke through a side window and into the throne room. It was Donkey Kong.
DK: Mario, I'm takin' you down! I also got an oversized lizard at home to beat up. Although his name in K. Rool, that makes no difference.
Yoshi: Ok, what do YOU have against Mario?!
DK: Not only do we have an unfinished fight from the '80s, but I wanna show that I'm the best lizard stomping hero around! Outta my way, shortie!
DK clamped one hand tightly around Yoshi's throat, lifted him high into the air, and choke-slammed him into the floor.
Mario: Alright, if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you get! Bring it on!
Luigi: Let's get him, DK!
Voice: Lizard stomping?! Ha! The lizards I fought were too big to stomp! I even saved a princess...
Mario: I've done that!
Voice: ...and I've awakened 7 sages, and kept together a sacred relic that keeps the power, wisdom, and courage of the land in balance.
They all spun around to face Link standing in the doorway.
Link: And you, Mario, call yourself a hero?! There's more to heroism than just saving princesses and stomping lizards. Sometimes you just gotta save the world.
Mario: Oh yeah? Well, save THIS!!
Mario shot a fireball out of his hand. It travelled down the room at top speed toward Link. Link didn't move. At the last second, right before the fireball hit him, Link hit the fireball with his Hylian Shield and it travelled back to Mario. Before Mario could think of how to defend himself, he was hit by his own fireball. He fell to the ground. Meanwhile, Yoshi licked up Donkey Kong and turned him into an egg.
Luigi: Thanks Link. Leave Mario to me. I'LL show him heroicism!
Luigi walked up to the unconscious Mario. He raised his right eyebrow ridiculously high and then ran to one wall, then the opposite one. He ran back to Mario and waved his arms around a bit then fell on Mario, driving his elbow into Mario's throat.
Luigi: Come on, Link, let's get Yoshi!
DK had broken out of the egg now, so the trio ganged up on Yoshi. Suddenly, Link turned around and jumped onto DK, swinging his sword wildly at him.
Link: You're no hero, either. You were once a princess kidnapping villain.
Luigi was in shock because of the double-cross. Yoshi came up and kicked Luigi in the gut, making him bend over. He then held Luigi's head on his (Yoshi's) shoulder, jumped up, and came down on the ground, the impact being absorbed into Luigi's head. After Link finished DK, he turned to Yoshi.
Link: Good job, Yoshi. Luigi wasn't much of a hero either. After all, I saved the world.
Voice: Yeah, but have you ever saved an entire galaxy?
The 2 turned to face Fox McCloud, who was standing in the doorway.
Fox: Heard you guys were looking for a REAL hero. Well, I'm your man. I saved the entire Lylat galaxy.
Link: Yeah? Then can you save THIS?!
Link threw his boomerang, but Fox used his blaster to fry it. Link turned to Yoshi again.
Link: Yoshi, get him!
But instead, Yoshi drew his hand back, then brought it forward... into Link's mouth. He held it there until Link fainted.
Fox: I AM the greatest hero ever!
Yoshi threw an egg at Fox and knocked him out.
Yoshi: I win!
Toad: Wait a second! There's only one fair way to settle who's the best hero.
Yoshi: Howzat?
Toad: We hold a tournament for everyone who claims they're the best hero.
They sent the flyers off. Meanwhile, in a city in another part of the world...
Pikachu: Pika Pika PikaCHU!!!! (Translation: I'm better & cuter than you!)
Jigglypuff: Jiggly puff puff PUFF!!! (Translation: No you're not! I am!)
Kirby landed and took them both out.
Kirby: (Yer both wrong! I am!)
Pikachu: PIIIIKAAAA (Translation: Oh yeah?!)
Jigglypuff: PUFF! (Translation: I don't think so!)
Ash: Quiet! There's only one way to settle all this!
Ash held up a flyer he found that talked about the Smash Brothers Tournament. The 3 (not Ash) decided to join. Meanwhile, for some other reason: Samus, Capt. Falcon, and Ness also joined. Who will be the best hero? Only the Smash Brothers Tournament will tell. But you can bet that Jesse, James, Meowth, Bowser, Kamek, Andross, K. Rool, Ganondorf, and other villains have something up their sleeves for our heroes.
THE END...or is it? About the site. All Rights Reserved. All content contained herein is property of SMBhq. SMBhq is in no way affiliated with Nintendo Company Limited, Nintendo of America, or any other mentioned companies. Super Mario Bros. and all character names are copyrights of Nintendo Co. Ltd. More legal info. Privacy Statement.
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