---THE ORIGIN OF WALUIGI---

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Once upon a time, Waluigi was born.

<Waluigi's Dad> PUSH!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> He was born of Jeniffer Lopez and Ben Aflak.

<Ben Aflak> PUSH!!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> However, there was a great error in the genetics.

<J-Lo> OMG! HE'S TOTALLY DISFIGURED!

<Doctor> I believe your son is a mushroom-based lifeform, not carbon-based.

<Ben> WWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

<J Lo> Ben! YOU SON OF A *****! I WENT THROUGH 9 MONTHS FOR THIS?! WE'RE 
THROUGH!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> And thus we learn how Ben Aflack and J Lo split up.

<Ben> Super WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Waluigi was put in a daycare center for disabled children, 
even though he had an IQ of 240.

<Baby_Waluigi> ME WANT MOMMY!!!!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> The daycare center closed every night at 9, so Waluigi 
always went to the Drug Store around the corner. There, he met a strange 
man.

<Baby_Waluigi> Hewwo stwange man!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> The man, Toad, was looking for a heir for his old master, 
Bowser. Yes, Toad used to work for Bowser.

<Toad> heww, er, hello. What can I do yah for?

<Baby_Waluigi> Watcha looking fow?

<Toad> nuthin... hey, are you interested in a *ahem* small side job?

<Baby_Waluigi> Mwaybe.

<Baby_Waluigi> Aww, what the hey, I'ww take it.

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Thus, the two became the best of friends.

<Toad> Eeeeexcellent. </Mr Burns>

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Toad brought him through a warp pipe in the bathroom to 
the Bowser Region.

<Toad> Don't worry, I clean it every week.

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Every Mushroom week, which is every 70 human years.

<Baby_Waluigi> Icky.

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> The two of them entered the castle.

* Baby_Waluigi poops diaper

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Bowser greeted them.

<Bowser> Ah, I see you have found a heir for my throne. If only Peach would 
marry me, we wouldn't have this problem.

<Toad> Well, you'll have to settle for this. He's not fully housebroken, 
mind you....

<Bowser> Neither am I. So, little tyke, what's your name?

<Baby_Waluigi> My name's Baby Waluigi

<Bowser> That's a pretty complex name for a baby. I like it.

* Bowser takes the two of them inside.

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Sit, sit. Have a cup of tea, or something...

* Toad eats some pie.

<Baby_Waluigi> That's a cow pie!

<Bowser> Ah, yes. A delicacy here. Anyway, down to business.

<Baby_Waluigi> Yes, mista?

<Bowser> Waluigi, you will inherit my throne, as the next in the Koopa 
Generation.

<Baby_Waluigi> Goodie!

<Toad> Why not me? What about my years of loyal underlinging?

<Bowser> You get Peach's main maid as a wife when we finally get her, Toad. 
Stop complaining.

<Toad> Oh.

<Bowser> As such, Waluigi, you must see this ancient sculpture that would 
predict the downfall of us.

<Baby_Waluigi> Ooooo... pwetty sculptuwe...

<Bowser> The sculpture talks about one named "Luigi". The part you'll find 
most interesting is this...

<Baby_Waluigi> Coowl.

* Bowser shows Waluigi the part that says "Luigi will rise over a similarly 
named one".

<Bowser> You, Waluigi, must stop him.

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> And so, the training begun.

<Baby_Waluigi> Owie! Quit whiping me!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> They worked vigorously throughout the days, making sure 
his legs were put to work.

<Teen_Waluigi> Owie! Quit Whiping me!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Soon, Waluigi was his own man.

<Bowser> Waluigi, you have done well.

<Waluigi_is_his_Own_Man> Thank you, adopted father.

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> However, that same day, Bowser was successful at capturing 
the princess.

<Waluigi_is_his_Own_Man> O_o

[INSERT SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN HERE]

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Afterward, Peach ran home. She did not speak of what had 
happened. 9 months later, Peach had 9 kids, the 8 Koopa Kids, and Wario.

<Waluigi_is_his_Own_Man> That musta hurt...

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Wario was the only human of the bunch, getting his race 
from Peach. That day, Bowser was called to the Mushroom Kingdom.

<Bowser> Sorry, son, I have to go to see Peach.

* Bowser leaves.

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> At the meeting...

<Bowser> I don't care what happened. You were captured by me, and I'm free 
to do whatever I want thanks to the agreement we signed.

<Advisor of Mushroom Council> I knew we should have read the fine print...

<Peach> I had to go through a lot of pain thanks to you! (Stupid spikes) You 
keep them!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> And so, Bowser brought them all home and they never spoke 
of it again.

<Bowser> Until Sean opened a Mystery about it.

<Sean Kelly> I heard that!

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Bowser looked that night at the Ancient Sculpture. He 
noticed a part about "Mario" being overthrown by a similarly-named rival...

<Bowser> Wario must be the chosen one! He will defeat Mario in my honor!

* Waluigi_is_his_Own_Man overhears this, and runs to room crying

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Waluigi was sad that he had been overthrown by a kid 20 
years younger than him. Bowser used his rip-off laboratory staff to make 
Wario age 20 years. Waluigi got furious with his dad.

<Waluigi> DAD, I'D LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU...

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Waluigi didn't care about Wario anymore, just Bowser.

<Bowser> What is it son? I'm very busy with Wario.

<Waluigi> Come here...

<Bowser> *sigh* What do you want?

* Bowser comes.

* Waluigi kicks Bowsers' (censored)

* Bowser faints.

<Bowser> My... (censored)...

* Waluigi walks away, throwing a bob-omb into the Power Genrator

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Waluigi ran away from home not to be seen for a long 
time...

CUT TO: 5 Years later

*KERBLOOM!*

<KKJ_Da_Narrator> Slow-ticking bomb... Anyway, Mario had just defeated Wario 
for the first time on Mario Land. Waluigi was making his way to where Wario 
had been beaten by Mario in SML2. Along the way though, he met someone he'd 
never thought he'd meet this soon... He met Luigi...

TO BE CONTINUED...