SMBhq RPC: The Story of THE MARIOATRIX
November 16, 2003

<SK_Da_Narrator> One Day Mario was sitting at his computer.

* Mario sits at computer

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario couldn't find his copy of The Sims

<Mario> WHERE'S MY COPY OF THE SIMS, DAMMIT?

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario decides to ask Luigi

<Mario> Luigi, have you seen my copy of The Sims?

<SK_Da_Narrator> Luigi tells Mario that he sold it to a weird Goomba 
guy

<luigi> you know I havn't spoken to you after you lost my copy of hoyle
 card games, but I sold it to a goomba

<Mario> DAMMIT LUIGI, QUIT SELLING MY STUFF!

<luigi> well, I frankly dun care

<luigi> so gimme back MY game!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario grabs Luigi and heads to find the goomba

* Mario drags Luigi with a rope, like in Mario and luigi

<luigi> ah sweet dirt. I remember you from my childhood

<SK_Da_Narrator> Luigi leads Mario to the Goomba leader, who is sitting 
in a chair wearing sunglasses

<luigi> that's the guy

<Goomba_Leader> WHY CAN'T I TAN, DANGIT?!

<Mario> Because you're already tan

<Goomba_Leader> SO?!

<Mario> You wanna sunburn?

<Goomba_Leader> What about my white feet?

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario get's to the point and asks about where his game 
is.

<Mario> WHERE'S MY *&^%* GAME?

<Goomba_Leader> Uh...

<luigi> who cares!

<SK_Da_Narrator> The Goomba leader starts saying a whole bunch of Mumbo 
Jumbo about how the world is not real and stuff like that.

* Goomba_Leader blah blah blahs on.

<Goomba_Leader> ...and so, Iowa is really north California.

<Mario> Liar liar pants on fire.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario kicks the Goomba Leader in the (censored)

<Goomba_Leader> OW!

<SK_Da_Narrator> The Goomba Leader decides to prove to Mario and Luigi, 
that what he said was true.  He takes out two pills.

* Goomba_Leader takes pills out.

<Mario> NOOO! IT'S NOT TIME FOR ME AND LUIGI'S MEDICATION YET!

<luigi> not the pills!

<Goomba_Leader> I shall show you that Iowa IS North California!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Goomba Leader gives Mario and Luigi a red pill and 
lead them to the back

* Goomba_Leader walks to back.

* Mario takes red pill

* Mario then follows GL

* luigi does too

<SK_Da_Narrator> Goomba Leader then tells Mario and Luigi that they 
will soon enter the real world

<Goomba_Leader> You shall soon see I am right... in the REAL world!

<Mario> I don't wanna see the geek at the computer!

<Goomba_Leader> Heck. No.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario and Luigi black out and when they wake they are 
attached to weird pods

<Mario> I'M NAKED!

<luigi> what's this wierd pod?

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario and Luigi and then dumped in the sewers, where 
they are picked up by Goomba Leader's ship

<Mario> I NEED MY CLOTHES!

* Mario finds traditional Mario clothes

<SK_Da_Narrator> Then there is a bunch of tests.....blah 
blah...........Mario and Luigi finally come to a few days later, where 
Goomba leader explains everything


<SK_Da_Narrator> Goomba Leader explains that the Mario bros were really 
part of an alternate reality called the Marioatrix.  It was created by 
Bowser to control the Mushroom Kingdom.  But now, an evil agent named 
Smithsonian, is slowly taking over the Marioatrix with his clones.  
Bowser asked Goomba Leader to ask the Mario bros to help stop 
Smithsonian before it is too late.

<Goomba_Leader> Smithsonian? Er... yeah! Stop him!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Goomba Leader says they will enter the Marioatrix to 
confront Smithsonian..........after a giant rave in the caves of Neon

* Goomba_Leader pulls out map.

<Goomba_Leader> You are to enter the Marioatrix... here.

<Mario> That looks like a map of Highway 51.

* Goomba_Leader points to caves of Neon.

<luigi> it's so blinding!

<Goomba_Leader> It is, but I've edited it to include all the sites on 
the internet.

<Goomba_Leader> Like youarelame.com

* Goomba_Leader flies ship to caves of Neon.

<Mario> I-a don't-a want-a go-a to-a rave-a

<luigi> too bad!

<Goomba_Leader> TOO BAD!

<Goomba_Leader> U are lik the ch00n one, d00d!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario kicks Goomba Leader in the (censored) and takes 
control of the ship

* Goomba_Leader OWIE!!!

* Goomba_Leader faints.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario: We-a will-a beat-a this-a Smithsonian-a, then-a 
you-a give-a my-a game-a back-a.  Ok-a?

<Goomba_Leader> Sure... alright... just... DON"T HURT MY PRECIOUS 
(CENSORED)!!!

* Goomba_Leader lands ship.

* Goomba_Leader warps to Marioatrix.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario, Luigi, and Goomba Leader plug into the 
Marioatrix and are confronted by Agent Smithsonian.

<Goomba_Leader> Whee!

<Agent Smithsonian> Mr. 
Mario......I've......been....waiting...for...you.

<Goomba_Leader> I'm flying!

* luigi goes into bullet time!

* Goomba_Leader gets high on hydrogen.

<luigi> were going slow but talk fast!

<Agent Smithsonian> I.....speak......very......slowly

* Goomba_Leader becomes addicted to Helium.

<Agent Smithsonian> Now.......you........shall.......die

* Goomba_Leader starts speaking in a high voice.

<Goomba_Leader> Oh no!

<SK_Da_Narrator> 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Agent Smithsonian's 
come out

<luigi> the madness!

<Goomba_Leader> Aw crap.

* luigi goes out of bullet time

<Goomba_Leader> I wish a great hero was here... like KKJ!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Goomba Leader hides in terror

* Goomba_Leader hides.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario and Luigi think about what to do

<luigi> what should we do?

* Goomba_Leader plays Jepordy Music.

* luigi shoots the tape

<Goomba_Leader> NoOOOOOoOOOO!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario suddenly feels weird

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario suddenly feels like flying

<Goomba_Leader> Like I did five min ago?

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario grabs a cape feather

* Goomba_Leader gives helium to Mario.

<Goomba_Leader> You'll need this.

<Mario> Now-a Smithsonian-a will-a die-a

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario runs and starts attacking Agent Smithsonian with 
various slow motion Kung-fu moves

* luigi does too

* Goomba_Leader runs away.

<Goomba_Leader> MOMMY!

<luigi> er...........mario?  he still has your game

<Goomba_Leader> I'm only running away in the Marioamatrix... I'll have 
your game back in reality.

<Agent Smithsonian> You......can't......beat.......me.......There......is.......too.....
much.....of.......me

<SK_Da_Narrator> 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 more Agent 
Smithsonian's come out

<luigi> I suggest we finish if up before he gets away!

* luigi 's hair goes blond!

<Goomba_Leader> WTF?

<Mario> Luigi-a.  This-a ain't-a Dragon-a Ball-a Z-a

<luigi> it isn't?

* luigi powers down

* luigi gets sued!

<Agent Smithsonian> Mr Mario.....you......can't.....beat.....me

* Mario sees all Smithsonians pull out guns

<Mario> No. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Agent Smithsonian sticks his hand into.......Goomba 
Leader's (censored)

<Goomba_Leader> Oh... I don't swing that way.

<luigi> (bullet time!)

* luigi goes bullet time

<SK_Da_Narrator> Goomba Leader becomes a Smithsonian clone

* Mario pulls out gun, Matrix Style

* luigi does too

<Goomba_Leader> I am a clone.

<Agent Smithsonian> I shall kill you.

* Mario runs on a wall, shooting Smithsonians, Matrix Style

* luigi does too

* Mario calls Luigi a copycat

<SK_Da_Narrator> More Smithsonian's come out

<Agent_Smithsonian> You shall not succeed.

* Mario pulls out nuke

<Agent_Smithsonian> We are infinate, thanks to the Gameshark.

<Mario> I'll use it!

<Agent_Smithsonian> What, the nuke, or the Gameshark?

<Mario> And these are infinite, thanks to Gameshark.

<Mario> Nukes are infinite, thanks to GS.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario reaches into Smithsonian's pocket and 
finds......his game!

<Mario> YOU BASTARD!

<luigi> gasp! is my game there?

<Mario> I'LL KEEEL YOU!

<luigi> ok. someone here owes me a hoyle card games disk!

* Mario pulls out gun and starts shooting Smithsonian

<SK_Da_Narrator> Smithsonian decides that Mario and Luigi shall become 
one of him

<Agent_Smithsonian> ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

<luigi> uh oh

* luigi runs!

* Mario uses hand to stop Smiths hands in its track

<SK_Da_Narrator> Smithsonian successfully takes over Luigi

<Agent_Smithsonian> YOU ARE ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

<Mario> LLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGG- Oh, wait, I don't 
care, he supports NC

<SK_Da_Narrator> All that's left is Smithsonian and Mario: one on one

<SK_Da_Narrator> Smithsonian decides to let all the other clones stay 
still and watch

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario and Smithsonian position each other for the 
climatic battle

* Agent_Smithsonian eats cupcake.

* Mario kicks Smithsonian's head

* Mario flies up to sky

<SK_Da_Narrator> Smithsonian chokes on the cupcake

<Mario> You'll never catch me!

<Agent_Smithsonian> COUGH... COUGH...

* Agent_Smithsonian falls over.

* Mario sees Smithsonian choking

<SK_Da_Narrator> Smithsonian runs after Mario

<Mario> Oh well.

* Mario flies higher

<Agent_Smithsonian> Help me, Mario... you're my only hope...

<SK_Da_Narrator> Smithsonian flies after Mario

* Mario grabs Smithsonian

* Mario puts Smithsonian under him

* Mario Drops as fast as he can

<Agent_Smithsonian> Not on me!

<Agent_Smithsonian> NOOOOOOO!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Smithsonian lands on his (censored) and creates a big 
crater in the ground

<Mario> KAPOWIE!

<luigi|Smithsonian> one of us (darnit!) one of us (darnit!)

<Agent_Smithsonian> Good.

* Mario punchs Smithsonian in the face repeatedly

<Agent_Smithsonian> Watch it! You're gonna hit me in the... too late...

<SK_Da_Narrator> Smithsonian get's kicked in the (censored)

<Agent_Smithsonian> ow....

* Mario repeatedly kicks Smithsonian in the (Censored!)

<Agent_Smithsonian> STOP THAT! I'll get my revenge, someday! YOU HEAR 
ME! SOMEDAY!!!

* Mario kicks Smithsonian in the mouth

<Mario> SUCK SHOE!!!!!!!!!

<Agent_Smithsonian> Mmmowitpluthsubliminalmessagegrag.

* Agent_Smithsonian grabs mouth.

<Agent_Smithsonian> Owie.

<SK_Da_Narrator> All of a sudden, Smithsonian disintegrates into a 
flash of light

<SK_Da_Narrator> Meanwhile, elsewhere......

<Bowser> Boy, I really just LOVE Norton Anti-Virus.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Back in the Marioatrix, everyone is back to normal

<SK_Da_Narrator> Goomba Leader congratulates the Mario Bros on a job 
well done

<Goomba_Leader> Congrats. I felt very (censored) there for a sec.

<Mario> Thank you sir.

<luigi> now give him his CD!

* Mario kicks GL in the (censored) really hard.

<Mario> GIMME MY CD NOW!

<Goomba_Leader> But you found it... during the battle...

* Mario grabs the CD from GL's pocket

<Mario> LIAR!

<Goomba_Leader> It's not there...

<Mario> IT WAS IN YOUR POCKET!

<Goomba_Leader> Read the transcript. We found the game in YOUR pocket 
during the battle.

* Mario kicks GL so hard in the (censored), he flies to the moon.

<Goomba_Leader> Looks like... Goomba Leader's blasting off again!

<Mario> THAT'S FOR STEALING MY GAME!

* Goomba_Leader disappears.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Luigi's game then floats down.

<luigi> my hoyle game!

<Mario> HEY, YOU STOLE LUIGI'S GAME TOO! YOU SUCK!

<luigi> yeah!

* Mario uses Kamehameha at GL*

<SK_Da_Narrator> The Mario Bros. go back home to play their computer 
games and live happily ever after


THE END

<Goomba_Leader> You must be using Java. We OBVIOUSLY found Mario's game in his pocket.