SMBhq RPC: The Story of Ludwig's Recital
October 26, 2003

<SK_Da_Narrator> One day, Ludwig Von Koopa was prefecting his latest 
masterpiece: A piano recital.

* LvK runs onstage, sits down, clears his throat, and cracks his knuckles.

<LvK> Tonight, I will be playing a piece by the great me, Ludwig Von 
Koopa. I am perhaps the greatest mastermind of the piano, so with no 
further ado, I will-

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwig was about to play the piano, when suddenly 
a Thromp fell onto it.

<LvK> . . . 


<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwig was pretty shocked

<LvK> Daaaad!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Sadly Bowser wasn't home.  He was off capturing the 
princess

<LvK> Oh, never mind...

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwig decided to go to uncle Wart for help

* LvK gets in his koopakopter.

* Wart looks above where he is to see kopter.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Wart thinks the Kopter is Mario. He proceeds to shoot 
it down

<Wart> It's Mario! Albatrosses! Attack!

<Wart> Now, Bomb-ombs! Finish it off!

<SK_Da_Narrator> As the Koopacopter falls, Mario appears beside wart

<Mario> Watcha doing?

<Wart> Hey. I'm killing you. Wait...

* Wart realizes the truth

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwig comes in all woozy

<Wart> Mario! This is your doing! If you weren't so fat...

* LvK stumbles in and collapses...

<LvK> I... I can see a light..

<Wart> That's my flashlight.

* Wart turns it off.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario has come to ask Wart for a cup of sugar

<Mario> Wart, can I have a cup of sugar?

<Wart> Maybe... IF YOU JOIN THE DARK SIDE!

<Mario> NOOOO!!! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Luigi then runs in to stop Mario from joining the dark side

<Wart> Resistance is futile. You cannot save him.

<Luigi> Mario! I am your brother!

<Wart> You are too unskilled in the force.

<Mario> NOOOO!!!

<Luigi> Well.. I am..

<Mario> Oh, yeah, I forgot.

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwig gets up and get's too business.  He wants Wart to get him a new piano.

<Wart> Only if you help me beat up these guys.

<Mario> Uh-oh...

<Luigi> Uh-a..

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwig proposes a different idea: a piano-off

<LvK> We shall play!

<Wart> Yes! I am very skilled!

<LvK> I will win, but it shall be fun.

<SK_Da_Narrator> But neither Mario or Luigi knows how to play the piano

<Mario> Crap, I knew I should have taken those piano lessons when I was young.

* Wart tries to play piano, but his fingers are too big.

<LvK> First off, we will do 4 songs and see who does them best.

<SK_Da_Narrator> First Wart goes up to the piano, and trys to play a 
song

<Wart> I shall play Jingle Bells!

* Wart can't.

* Mario clasps hands over ears

<SK_Da_Narrator> Wart's horrible piano playing has 
attracted............a heard of buffalo

<Luigi> *wispers to Mario* Psst.. Mario. When it gets to our turn.. I
 say-a we throw-a fireballs at them.

<Wart> THE BUFFALO! THEY SPEAK TO ME!

<SK_Da_Narrator> The Buffalo rams Wart's (censored)

<Mario> *whispers to Luigi* Umm, I don't know...

<Luigi> *wispers back* Or we can run..

<Mario> *whispers back* Nah, it sounds like fun.

<Luigi> *wispers back again* FIne-a.. whatever

<SK_Da_Narrator> Next up: Mario

* Mario walks up to piano and cracks his knuckles

* Wart clasps ears.

* Mario gets ready to play

<Luigi> Oh-a no..

<SK_Da_Narrator> Mario plays the SMB theme...very well

<Luigi> ..Wow-a.

<Wart> NOO! It is so good! It is better than the SMB2 Theme!

* Mario finishes

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludvig thinks it's just beginners luck

<LvK> Meh! Luck, that's all! No skill!

* Mario waits for applause, but gets none

<SK_Da_Narrator> Next up: Luigi


* Luigi walks towards piano.

<LvK> You aren't the piano man!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Luigi is going to play that little practice tune people do with two fingers

* Mario glues Warts hand to his sides

<Wart> No! Now I can't protect my (censored)!

* Mario kicks Wart's (Censored)

<Wart> YOU SON OF A POKEMON!

* Mario keeps doing it

<Wart> BOMB-OMBs! ATTACK!

* Mario throws bob-ombs down Wart's throat

<Pikachu> CHU?

<Wart> Not Pikachu!!!

* LvK launches fireballs at Mario.

* Mario dodges fireballs Matrix Style

* Wart breaks arms loose.

<Pikachu> PIKA PIKA

* LvK throws koopa kerosine on Mario.

* Mario dodges kerosine Matrix Style

<SK_Da_Narrator> Luigi is zapped by Pikachu

* Wart shows Pikachu what it's like to be blasted off again.

<LvK> Ooooh....

<Luigi> I think it's time to take outr leave before it gets-a too hectic.. c'mon Mario!

<Luigi> OW-A!

* LvK jumps on Luigi

<Wart> Oh no you don't!

* LvK soaks Luigi in Koopa Kerosine

* Wart stuffed turnips into Mario's mouth.

* Mario kicks Wart's (censored) again.

<Luigi> GET-A OFF ME YOU SAD EXCUSE FOR A PIANO PLAYER!

<LvK> fine, fine.

* LvK jumps off and throws a match on Luigi

<Luigi> OW-A!!

<Wart> RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

* Mario kicks match away from Luigi Matrix Style

* Luigi tackles LvK and gets him on fire

<LvK> Don't forget the kerosine you're soaked in. ACK! HAIRSPRAY! FIRE 
BAD! NOOOOO!

* Mario puts on shades and a leather jacket

* LvK jumps onto Mario

<Wart> Right! How many did we lose?

<SK_Da_Narrator> Wart's whole house explodes

<Mario> AAAHH!! FIRE!!!

<Wart> Not my house! I paid 20 Box tops for that!

* LvK rolls down the steps, and is thrown into a ravine by the explosion.

* Mario sees everybody charred

<Wart> I need help! Help me, Pidgets!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwig crawls his way to the piano for his turn,
 but the flames are getting closer

* Mario sees jagges spikes at the bottom of the ravine Ludwig fell down

* Wart watches as Pidgets, including Bill The Extra Guy fly in.

<Wart> Attack them!

<Mario> Uh-oh...

<Wart> Avenge my Nephew!

* Mario runs around in circles

* Luigi falls on Ludwig's piano.

* Mario falls on Luigi who fell on Ludwig's piano

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwig makes it back to the piano (he missed the 
spikes)

<Wart> BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Now you are trapped!  Attack, Pidgets! Go, 
Nephew!

* Mario opens eyes and sees pidgets

<Luigi> COME ON MARIO! LETS-A GO!

<SK_Da_Narrator> the pidgets attack themselves

<LvK> Nooooo!

<Wart> What the heck? Bill! You said you trained these guys!

<LvK> ;_;  I'm...I'M THE PIANO KOOPA!!

<Wart> NOOOO!

* Mario is unconscious

<Wart> You have gone to the not-dark side!

<LvK> * sniff *

<SK_Da_Narrator> Suddenly: Billy Joel shows up

* Luigi drags Mario outside.

<LvK> Why?!?

* Mario hangs on the thin line between life and death

<Wart> NOT HIM! I OWE HIM MONEY!

<Luigi> Billy Joel!?

<LvK> Billy Joel!! :D

<Billy Joel> Come on Ludwig.  Don't be sad.

<Mario> *Marios spirit comes out of body*

<Wart> Sweet! Ghost Mario!

<Billy Joel> Let's play a song together.

* Wart runs away.

<Wart> You'll Never catch me!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Billy Joel grabs he piano

<Mario> *Mario's spirit goes back into body*

<LvK> Let's play then, mr. Joel!

<Wart> Aw.

* Mario is still on top of the piano

<Billy Joel> SING ME A SONG YOUR A PIANO KOOPA! SING ME A SONG TONIGHT!

* Wart falls into pit.

* LvK is playing the piano

* Mario wakes up from Ludwig's bad piano playing

<Mario> GAH! MY EARS!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Ludwigs piano playing causes a calm to go around the land.  
Mario, Luigi, and Wart get up and hug each other.

<Luigi> ...I AM NOT HUGGING SOME FAT SLOB!

<Mario> Hey!


<Luigi> I mean Wart!

* Wart is bloddy from the fall, but hugs everyone.

*Scratched record noise*

<Mario> Hold it!  I am NOT hugging Wart!

<SK_Da_Narrator> Well you just did

* Wart holds (censored).

* Wart laughs inside.

* Mario kicks Wart's (censored)

<Wart> THAT'S IT!

* Wart goes all angry-like.

<Wart> I AM GONNA KILL U!

<SK_Da_Narrator> OK Ludwig stops playing and a Thwomp falls down on everyone.

THE END

* Mario keeps kicking Wart's (censored till he dies)

<Wart> ow.