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Rebuttal to "Game Settings"

By Arun Madhavan

    JMYCroft invited all intellectuals to question his airtight theory regarding the location of the Mushroom Kingdom. To him I respectfully say, you asked for it.

    It appears that JMYCroft was so overconfident when speculating about the location of the Mushroom Kingdom, that his "ironclad " theory is actually rusty in many areas. Below is a semi-scientific explanation for why the Mushroom kingdom is on earth, not another planet.

    His theory, that the Mushroom kingdom lies on another planet, rests solely on the fact that the strength and density of the Mushroom kingdom's gravitational field is less than that of earth. OK, I'll admit that in games set in the Mushroom kingdom, Mario can jump higher than he could on earth. It is possible that the Mushroom kingdom's gravity field is weaker.

    But here's what I think. The Mushroom kingdom is on a different, less dense earth. You might think I'm talking about parallel universe, I assure you I am not. It is possible that 2 earths exist in the same space, but the matter which composes each of them is in some sort of different state. This allows 2 earth's to occupy the same area simultaneously.

    How did the Mario Brothers get to this other earth? In the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, they get sucked down a drain pipe. Here's where science starts to go down the drain: In the Mushroom kingdom, Mario and Luigi have special powers. Touching a feather gives them a cape, which lets them fly, not just glide, touching this small bouncing thing gives them a hammer brothers suit, etc. Science can't explain any of this. But, I think magic can. I know, you probably think that magic isn't real. However, if you think about it, the existance of magic has never been disproven. It is possible that those in the Mushroom kingdom have mastered this art. Even magic obeys scientific laws though (after all, they are laws), such as Lavosier's (did I spell that right?) Law of Conservation of Energy. And in the Mushroom kingdom, matter and energy are still interchangeable, this is another law of nature. It's possible that when Mario touches an item (which is probably very dense) such as a feather, it turns into energy, then back into matter, but reassembles its atomic and subatomic particles and molecule arangement so that it is now a cape. How does this process work? Well, the feather must be very dense, to allow for extra energy for the magical processes to take place. Some of the energy is used for the transformation, and lost as heat. Some is lost keeping a dense feather floating for so long. Some is used to propel Mario into the sky. Once he's up there, the weak gravity allows him to stay up there for a long time. As you know, strong, dense gravity fields weaken very much with just a little distance. I think that all the items in the Mushroom kingdom have magical properties.

    OK, now I've proven that magic exists. So what? You may ask this, and I don't blame you. I mentioned earlier that the two earths exist in different states, of some sort. You probably want me to define "state" as well; it's also magic. Anyway, when the Mario Brothers were sucked down the pipe, the pipe's inherent magic altered their state from that of our world, to that of the Mushroom kingdom. And in this earth, the planet is less dense, and there is less gravity, that's why people can jump higher. Also, as you recall from the Super Mario Brothers Super Show's introduction, Bowser, out of fear of the Mario Brothers, jumped off the cliff before he could capture the princess and Toad. Because of the gravity, (or lack therof) Bowser survived the fall.

    OK, now I've shown that the Mushroom kingdom could exist on the alternate earth. I will now disprove JMYCroft's theory that it exist's on another planet. When the Mario Brother's got sucked down the tube in the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, they arrived at the Mushroom kingdom within seconds. The closest planet is many light years away, and we don't even think it's habitable (I assume the Mario Brothers are humans). The nearest habitable planet could be in another galaxy. But I don't need that much evidence. Let's stipulate that the distance d from earth to the nearest habitable planet can be described by the inequality d > 1.00 light years. That means that the planet in question is at least one light year away from earth. That seems fair. Now, keep in mind 3 points:

    1) Energy is just that, energy. It can't be generated or destroyed. This is supported by the law of conservation of energy.
    2) Because of the law on conservation of energy, magic can't generate or destroy energy, it can only collect energy from any source. It then utilizes this available energy to accomplish that which technology can not. For example, magic can turn a jumping frog thingy into a frog suit. It transforms the frog into energy, and then reassembles it as matter, technology can't do this.
    3) Magic can't break the laws of nature. Nothing can travel at the speed of light, not even with the aid of magic.

    Let's see now, the Mario Brothers enter the warp zone in some drain pipe, and end up a light year away within seconds? That is certainly not possible. To be fair, let's say the warp zone trip took a whole minute. They would have traveled at least 5865696000000 miles in a minute. Remember, magic must obey nature's laws. They would have to travel, at the very least, 5256000 times the speed of light to reach the Mushroom kingdom. And this is assuming they had a whole minute to travel just one light year. Wouldn't they die from traveling that fast, assuming such a speed was possible. They seemed quite fine to me, in the TV show. By the way, I didn't just make up these numbers, I took the time to calculate them.

    The fact that they can't travel at the speed of light alone brings down JMYCroft's theory that the Mushroom kingdom is on another planet. I must say that JMYCroft must be rather intelligent to support his theory as well as he did. But he asked to be challenged, and I'm challenging him. As I said before, he asked for it. I'm not going to make the same bold statement JMYCroft did, and say that my theory is absolutely correct, but, neither is his. Of course, if you do find a flaw in my theory, feel free to challenge me. I'm not perfect either. By the way, he spelled "denouement" incorrectly. "You fool" indeed.

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