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Rebuttal to "Mario does NOT RPG"
By Christina Lin

If Mario RPG was the first Mario game it probably wouldn't have done too well. Mario shouldn't be teaming up with his worst enemy and Peach should be a damsel in distress, not a hero!

That's heroine, and besides, what do you mean, she's SUPPOSED to be a damsel in distress not a heroine? Who ever said people can't change? I guess you must think no female can be a heroine, they alwayz have to be rescued by you "macho, brave" guys, right? (Fat chance!)

Mario is the kind of guy who jumps on guys heads on a regular basis.

Hmm, what happens in SMRPG when you push the "B" button? You jump!

Mario walks from left to right killing enemies and rescuing princesses.

Well, la-di-da... There's no rule saying Mario just has to do that.

Mario DOES NOT save the world from aliens.

What aliens?

Mario is known for being a game where every position counts and if you jump from the wrong spot, a paratroopa knocks you down a notch, NOT challenge you to a battle. Mario also should be a spur-of-the-moment fighter and should not take turns when fighting an enemy.

You know, there are a lot of people out here like to play RPG games instead of scrolling ones, ever think that maybe Miyamoto made this great game to keep us video game people coming?

And Mario doesn't tote around weapons, except his suits.

Says who?

And King Koopa would NEVER team up with Mario. Would YOU team up with someone who's tried to kill you twenty times for ANY reason?

You know, Bowser just kinda joined up with Mario to get his damn keep back from Smithy, duh! Bowser's so weak and pathetic that he can't beat Smithy for shit!

And in addition to all of that, Mario is KNOWN as a platform character, NOT an RPG guy.

There's no one in the Nintendo world that's not a this and that character, period.

And Mario doesn't RPG! Would you expect Link to race against Gannondorf for the final showdown? No, they aren't racers.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

And Mario doesn't RPG! And Mario doesn't RPG! AND MARIO DOESN'T RPG!!!!!

I heard you the first time, no need to repeat that five times!

Thank you for your time.

Man, that is like the first time I've ever regret coming here to SMBHQ... (No offense Kyle!)

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