Rebuttal to "The Mascot Wars, Mario vs. Pokemon"
By Joe Kuster
WRITER'S NOTE: Okay people, listen. I think you have known me as The HeartBreak Kid, Killer B, Darkside Dogg, etc. But I said to myself, "Forget all these stupid nicknames. I just need to be myself." So I am doing that. Just thought I'd tell ya that. On with this rebuttal.
Well, Jay, I agree. But you know what, I think everyone will agree with me.... POKEMON IS OLD. Ok, Actually the game is and so is the cartoon show. Its a DragonBall Z ripoff to me. I know everyone is shocked by this, But, I must say, I am tired of it. Sick of it. Everyone else should be too. The damn game was made in 1997-1998. @$!#! This is stupid. I don't get it. Everyone should be getting into Final Fantasy 8. GOD DAMN HELP ME!!!!!!!! I want FF8 so bad, I'll kill the next person that has it! (Disclaimer: I'm not going to kill anyone, Its just how excited I am about it.) And THE CARDS... NO!!!!!
Now, Why is Pokemon lame to me? Like this:
THE SHOW. This started it all. Everyone left the cool worlds of Mario and Peach, Zelda and Link, Sonic and Tails (Although its Sega, Everyone loved them too, Including Knuckles), And most importantly..... Mega Man and Zero. Everyone. Forever. Pokemon has now outpopulated each of them. But not me. I never saw it since it came on at 7:00 A.M. and that would be when I was still sleeping until 8:00 A.M. to get ready for Elementrey school. Everyone asked me these questions:
"Did you see Pokemon?"
"Do you have Pokemon? Which version?"
"Do you have the Pokemon hints book?"
And you know what I said to them?
"Grow up. Welcome to 6th grade. We're not 4 year olds anymore."
I say the same thing in Middle school, Except "Welcome to Middle School. We're not 4 year olds anymore." I'm sorry pokemon fans, But that's the way I feel against Pokemon. Anyway, On to #2. (Not the agent from Austin Powers)
THE GAME. Now, The game was fine. Great. Ok. But the bad thing about it is..... IT GOT MORE PEOPLE BRAINWASHED. And everyone were forgetting Mario (Remember him those of you that got comepletly brainwashed?) Link, Mega Man, etc. Now we have more crazy lunatics. AHHHHHHHH!!!! RUN!!!! POKEMON WARD!!!! Now to #3.
NOW, THE WORST OF THEM ALL, THE CARDS. Now, This pisses me off more than anyone else that doesn't care for Pokemon. Even the 8th GRADERS like these, Unless its those Magic ones. I'm in 7th grade, And I hate listening to pokegeeks. And I also heard that most of the Pokemon cards are counterfeit. Another thing interesting about them is people are selling them. Not good enough? Well, They're going to outlaw them from schools. Weird, Isn't it. This sucks. I'm ready to start the Non-Pokemon Foundation. On to Overall.
OVERALL. This Pokemon disease, As I like to call it, Is turning everyone into complete geeks. Even most of my friends are victims and they kiss the feet of the lil' tiny ordinary, boring electric rat called *yawn* Pikachu. Well, I have advice for Nintendo: If you guys want to make all of your cool characters famous again, Stop making less Pokemon stuff. The other Nintendo characters are starting to fade away, And you'd better help them, BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!!!!
Anyway, That's it. All of it. Now, If anyone wants to complain and say "I'm stupid" and "I don't know much about Pokemon", I don't care. But please say it in a polite way, Because I do have bad tempers and you can make me do something stupid. But, Please, Do not do that, Especially if its like this:
"U R SO DUM JOE!!!! F*** U!!!! I'M SICK OF U MACING FUN OF PICACHU!!!! SO U R STUPID, SO F*** U!!!!"
Please say it in correct grammar. See ya.
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