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The Truth about Yoshi

Or "Everything you Wanted to Know About Yoshi, but Were Afraid to Ask"
by KuroYoshi

    Ranting is what I do best. This is for all the misconceptions about my people. My true name is Kuroyoshi. I have been the guardian of the yoshi ever since my egg was retrieved from the Bone Dragon Pit. Reading some of your little writings, I have come to the conclusion that there are many things you do not know about us.

     Therefore, my first rant will be about the Yoshi. I will begin by saying that we are not frogs, or any sort of amphibian. The Yoshi are dinosaurs, which are similar to both reptiles and to birds, if that helps. Our skin is not completely smooth, but a video game like the Mario series makes everything completely smooth.

     Our tounges are long because of a need to retrieve food quickly. Most Yoshis will eat anything, especially the white and black, who, due to their enhanced digestive system, can eat literally anything without getting nauseous. We are fond of fruits, but also love candies, cookies, and other sweet things. We are omnivorous, meaning that we need both meat and vegetation to survive, except for a few weird veggie-yoshi who insist on never eating another animal. We subside mainly on fruit, because it provides us with the chemicals our brains lack that result in happiness. That explains much of Yoshi's Story. Meats, of course, are for protein and iron and such, for strong bones and muscles. Since we eat the bones of our prey as well as the muscles, we are balanced in nutrition.

     Being dinosaurs, we spend most of our time out of water, even though we can swim rather well and hold our breaths for up to an hour. We have excellent leg strength, allowing us to run at full speed even with an Italian on our backs. Our tails serve to balance us out when we lean forward to run.

     I don't like to talk about yoshi reproduction, but if you must know, there are both male and female Yoshi, but apparently, only we can tell which of us are which. The "eggs" you see are a form of a highly efficient bowel movement, which are packed with enough energy to explode in a colorful burst with no smell or harmful bacteria. Actual eggs are laid by females, and are much larger, never laid under water. They are *ahem* fertilized before they are laid, bringing importance to the yoshi family unit, with both parents raising the Yoshlings. The nest is usually in the home, sometimes near it, but almost always made of a collection of soft shrubbery spread carefully on the ground. The eggs are covered to keep warm, and the mother and father take turns guarding them.

     As far as our culture is concerned, we do make our own boots, as a symbol of our place in Yoshi society. Regardless of what you see in Super Mario World, we are not born with the boots. (Also, eggs don't crack like that. That's why it's not real.) We have a very advanced culture, with towns and villages, and even our own philosophy carried by my line of the black Yoshi. The civilized structures you see around the island were all built by us.

     We are not classifiable by your 'science', but if you would like to, look up "Long-tounged lizard" in Latin.

Until then, this is Kuroyoshi.
Good day, and stay super happy!
Any other questions can be addressed to

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