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The Origin of the Koopalings

Or "A new take on Darwin"
By TurtleTek

    Has anyone else noticed how abruptly the Koopalings appeared and disappeared from the Mario story line? And what little explanation is given for them? This is my attempt to make sense of the existence of Bowser's little bundles of evil.

     The first plot problem that comes to anyone's mind is Bowser reproducing. He had kids, right? Well, it takes two to tango. So, who is Bowser's wife? The most logical explanation I can give is that Bowser never had a wife.

     The Koopa race shares very many basic traits with what we know as turtles. They've got the basic turtle shape; four legs, a tail, a large head and most noticeable, a hard domed shell. Although they do differ in a few certain ways such as having hair, teeth and an intellect par with humans, they do not differ socially. The Koopa Clan is a loosely bound tribe of aggressive turtles bent on conquering. Real turtles often hang out in loosely bound groups. They don't really conquer much but that's beside the point. The point is that if the Koopas are like turtles socially then they are monogamous and reproduce by instinct alone. That is, Bowser probably had some random female koopa that he found fitting be the mother to his would-be children.

     However, turtles do not care for their young, they don't really need to. Turtles are hatched needing only a few hours to become ready for the challenges ahead. If a turtle is born nearly ready, then Koopas must be as well. That explains why the Koopalings came into the plot so suddenly, because they were recently born!

     What would be Bowser's motives to carry out such a plot? Considering how bent he is to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, he probably needed assistance; a batch of apprentices to help him defeat the Mario Bros., who would fit the bill better than his own flesh and blood?

     By the way, that is why the Koopalings look so different from the usual Koopa. I mean, they have horns, spikey shells, hair and fire breath (not to mention they are also quite huge). The Koopa royal blood must be different somehow from that of the usual Koopa Troopa. Considering the Koopa Clan's turtle society, this physical advantage the royal family line has over the comparatively meek Troopas is the only thing that allows them to remain the rulers of the legions of self-centered warrior turtles.

     If you think I've spent a little too much time analyzing the details of the world of Mario, you're dead right! Hope it was an entertaining read!

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