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The final word on the Koopalings

Or "If you disagree...you're wrong"
By Metal Mario

    I have constantly met other people, at school, in chat rooms, and on the street, who seem to think that they have the most logical answer to where the Koopalings came from. They usually tell me that, in a period of time that Nintendo left out, Bowser met a female turtle, married her, and had seven children. In other words, Bowser has a queen squirrled away somewhere. This, I feel, is not the case. Let me explain my point of view.

    My theory is, that, in a battle with the Mario Bros., Bowser was knocked off a cliff and fell into a deep, dark cave. Inside this cave, he discovered, completely by accident, seven enormous turtle eggs. Bowser, presuming that the mother had abandoned them, used his sorcerous powers to hatch the eggs and age the baby turtles several years. They became teenagers in seconds, (which they undoubtedly are in all the games), and Bowser, longing for children to take control of his empire when he grew old, adopted them as his own. The rest is history.

    There. Now doesn't that make more sense than Bowser going out, getting married, having seven kids, and sending the mother away never to be seen in a Nintendo game? I think most of you will agree that it does. I just got so tired of everyone scavenging the earth and beyond for evidence of Bowser's wife that I had to send this in. She never existed folks. Though the world shall probably never know the truth, the version told above sure makes a heck of a lot more sense.

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