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Mario the Monk

Or "Nintendo and the path to inner peace"
By Tony Trucco

    For many years us loyal Mario fans have awed at the strength of Mario and his ability to overcome much larger opponents. We (I) have always wondered at how he could do what he does. Well off course he IS a sprite in the Land of Nintendo, but even so, half the characters Nintendo has made can't jump 6 feet high and they certiantly don't use their bare hands to take down giant lizards (I know most don't encounter giant lizards). Mario is different, he has a secret trade noone knows about, Mario is really a Monk. If you ever played Everquest you would know what I mean. The monks study the art of hand combat (which Mario uses so often), and rarely use weapons. Mario indeed uses his fists and never a weapon (SM RPG is a slight exception to this). Monks also strive for peace, which is a duh in ALL of the Mario games. So know we come to why cover his true profession under the plumber gig?

    Well, Monkism is a religion (persay), and if Nintendo put out such a religion, then that might anger people, but everyone likes a plumber! Second, he needed to be underestimated. Don't you think if Bowser knew that Mario knew how to fight he might of taken better precautions?! If I knew some punk could fight well I wouldn't let him get in my way. I would send hoards of men to overcome him (or her). But Mario is too smart, so he discuises himself as a plumber.

    Lastly, Mario needs to navigate pipes, so therefore he learns the trade of plumberism so he can do that.

    We now know that Mario is a Monk, he needs to be in his situation. We also learned why he covers it up by being a plumber. So go home and tell all that you know who Mario really is.

    Send me your comments at mariomaniac@hotmail.com THANX!!

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