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Wario


Wario Bio. Part III


After wasting the first 20 some years of his life stalking Mario and aching for revenge, Wario decided to set out and start a life of his own. He decided to go out and conquer the main goal that he set his life to-wealth and TONS of GOLD!!! He didn’t want to do it the honest way, oh no. Only normal people make a living by going to work every day. The twisted freaks go out and steal gold from pirates. So, being the twisted freak he was, he bought a boat and hard hat with his last few bucks (never know when a hard hat can come in handy), and started to look for pirates. Wario spent 30 long years wandering the seas of the Mushroom world (Mushroom time hints for the clueless: 1 mushroom year=10 earth days. Trust me). He was about to give up and take up a job at Taco Bell when a radical storm came out of no where and blew Wario’s boat off course. Wario woke up to find himself a mile from a mysterious island. Wario panicked. He started running around and around in the inside of his boat. He worried he was cut off from all civilization. Then he realized it was just Mushroom civilization so he didn’t lose much. He was about to come to the shore when he spotted a large ship. After a closer look, he saw a skull flag on it. WHAT LUCK!!! A PIRATE SHIP!!! He set out for it full speed ahead, to find out where the pirates’ headquarters was. For where there was pirates, there was GOLD!!! The pirates landed on the island. Wario was shortly behind. Then, one of Wario’s few moments of intellect-He realized that the pirates were the ones that stole Princess Toadstool 30 story gold statue a year ago. If he could steal it back, he would get a huge reward (or maybe ransom) from the Princess if he brought it back. Plus with the gold he would steal from them, he would finally be able to buy a castle and start his own life! So he set off, through the large island he later learned as Kitchen Island. He made it to the Pirate’s castle, and beat the head hancho, the big cheese, the big cahoona, the leader of the Pirates, the one and only (gasp), Captain Syrup. Success! He found the statue, plus amassed a large amount of gold and . But wait! Up in the sky! Its a bird! Its a plane! Its...Mario?!?!?!?! Mario used a helicopter pick up the statue and deliver it to the Princess on his own. Wario’s mouth was hanging open for a good hour. One minute he was the richest man in the world. Now MARIO was taken away his trip to fame, and MARIO was getting all the praise. This right here, is one of the lowest moments in NC history. Let us now bow our heads in silence in tribute for Wario’s great deed that was so utterly stolen by ego man Mario.
This event didn’t keep Wario down for long. After all, Mario was behind him. He still had lots of gold, but not enough let for a castle. He then ran into Captain Syrup’s genie. He wondered...maybe the genie will grant his wish. But this genie wasn’t a fool. He wanted cash (greedy world we live in today). Wario instead gave the genie all his gold, and the genie gave him a wonderful castle (or dump or moon. depends on how much gold you have). Wario thought all his troubles were behind him.
But wait! Lets not forget Wario’s newest adventure. For those of you who haven’t played it yet, go do so now. I’ll wait. If you still haven’t played it, I won’t go into do much detail with Wario Land 2. Anyway, here I go.
It has been a year since Wario’s last adventure. He is now living peacefully on his own island, with his own gold. He’s kind of lonely, but he’s RICH!!! But someone has decided to pay him a visit. What do you know, It’s Captain Syrup, and she wants her gold back. She manages to sneak into Wario’s castle and make off with a few bags of gold, along with the help of her henchmen. Wario wakes up to find his gold gone! But he’s quickly on the chase, excited to be on another adventure. But this time Captain Syrup is on Wario’s turf. She gives a good chase, but Wario prevails in the end, and can rest a little easier with his jewels. What is in store for Wario’s future? Who knows.


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