About SMBHQ Games Mailbag Store NC Extras Contact Us SMBHQ Forum

Viewer Bios

Viewer Bios

By Random Authors

Bullet Bill By, Kingsrook

Sex: Unknown
Age: 17 (probably)
Height: 12 pixels
Weight: 100 kilograms
Friends: Goombas, Koopas, Bowser
Enemies: Mario, Luigi, Shy Guys

It all started about a year before Super Mario Bros. was put on the market. A stray Goomba named Bill decided to join the circus (because of their 50 Koopabits an hour payroll). After a very successful year, Bill decides to become a Goomban Cannonball for the season closer. Just to give the impression of a really dangerous act, he puts on an explosing bullet disguise.
When he is loaded into the cannon, the croud is going wild and wants to see him possibly get blasted to his fate. When the trigger explodes, he flies out at a speed much too fast for the net to catch him. He soars right through the net and out into the sky.
While the circus owners thought they were out of buisness, the fans swamped them with huge money payments. A lot of them started to immitate Bill's daring stunt. They installed cannons all over the world, got a gigantic supply of explosive bullet suits, and have fired themselves ever since.
They dislike Mario and Luigi because of, well, if they get stomped they fall down to earth. They dislike Shy Guys for some unknown reason (probably because of their masks). About a year later, all of the Bill immitators join Bowser to help rule the Mushroom Kingdom (with a sallary of 70 Koopabits an hour).
Once Bowser was defeated, they realized that they had something to do with their lives other than attempting suicidal acts for some crazy Koopa, so they stopped.
Three years later, Bowser, figuring that the power of the Bullet Bills were mighty, made himself a whole army of robotic ones to help him defeat Mario once and for all. They fail miserably. What became of these black bullets we will never know.
Bill is still out there somewhere, flying through the sky (or possibly space). Who knows when he'll land? Only time will tell, folks.

Thoughts From Jay
Bullet Bills are cool.

Crono By, John Welch

Crono is a just another teen with a deadly weapon.Though he tries to use his sword for good , not bad.He didn't know about his fate until he met a girl named Marle at the first millenial fair.She was really the princess and got Crono into a huge adventure.So I'll make the story short and tell you some interesting things you probably didn't know about Crono.
Crono woke up one morning met a princess got transported through time and saved the worl from Lavos.He also met his friends Glenn, Tink, Ayla, Magus, Marle and of course Lucca. Then he learned to use magic and do cool things like Luminaire and junk.
Crono lived the rest of his life eating high calorie foods and playing Nintendo, Marle went and Married Edgar Figaro from FF3, Lucca invented a machine that made her shut up, Glenn Killed Mgus right after Magus Destroyed the castle and killed the king and Ayla trained a dinosaur to do a backflip.
That's about it.Except for one thing, Crono never really killed Lavos he used a hologram or he said he was busy.

Thoughts From Jay
You forgot to mension that Crono is a mute, heh.

Daisy of Sarasaland By, Mariosrpg89

Daisy of Sarasaland
Height:About 5' 7
Wieght:About Peaches weight, in the 100's, maybe 120 or 140
Age: Most likely in her 20's.
Status: Alive, going out with Luigi in the cheepest resteraunt in town.(Lugis Idea)
How many times she slapped Luigi with her purse and screamed "We are through with eachother!" : 22

Well lets start with her childhood, Sarasaland and Mushroom Kingdom were together, friendliest neighbors. Peach and Daisy were both 8 years old when they met. They went to a special school for royalty, called "Royalty Elementery". Peach and Daisy were the best of friends, and they always loved playing in the playground after lunch, which was connected to a school called, "Brooklyn Elementery" Yes, the royalty school was in Brooklyn. They used to sit by the gate everyday, sharing there secrets, and one day, 4 little boys her were all brothers, joined the Brooklyn Elementery school. There names were, Mario, Lugi, Wario, and Waluigi. Wario and Waluigi were always getting suspended, meanwhile Lugi was getting all the girls and grades. Mario was unwanted, exept from his brother, Luigi. Daisy saw Mario, and fell in love, she never seen such a kid! Mario kept on telling Lugi about this brown headed girl he was in love with that always hanged out with a redhead. Daisy kept on bugging Peach about it, and they got into a argument! Mario saw them fighting, and he stood at Daisys side. When Peach was all alone, she started crying. Afterschool that day Peach told her mom what had happened, and called the queen of Sarasaland up. They both argued and the newspapers said "The 2 princesses get in to fight, could this mean war!" Mario was shocked when he saw it, he thought to himself, " I was in love with a princess and I made another princess cry!" A war went on, and a border was drawn between the 2 countries which were called "Mushasland", and now are 2 seperate countries. Daist secretly called Peach one day and apolagized, they were friends again. They kept on talking secretly no matter what! Then years passed, and Daisy lost touch with Peach. She was walking in her castle one day when BOOM! Something hit her on the head. She woke up in a sewer, and gazed around herself. She was dressed in regular clothes, she suddenly got up and screamed "Im late for work!" Yup, someone changed her brain into thinking she was not a princess anymore. She went up and she was in Brooklyn, and moved in a apartment. In the apartment bulding lived a girl named Pauline,who had long red hair. Suddenly,a flash went by her and she saw some little girl with redish hair. "Hi Im Pauline, you must be new, I should show you around the neighbor hood. Oh yeah whats your name?" asked Pauline. "My names Daisy, and I would love that!" said Daisy. She showed her around and got to this Italian Resteraunt and she pionted out, "Thats my boyfriend Mario stuffing his face with Pasta, he heh" said Pauline. Suddely a flash came by Daisy once more, and realized something went terribly wrong!
Part 2 coming soon, hope you liked it!

Thoughts From Jay
I really should of done a better job getting names.

Elvin Gadd By, Unknown

Name:Elvin Gadd
Occupation:wierd guy who talks in japanese,creates lousy gameboys,makes cooler inventions,basicly a proffeser of 2 languages,artist(suck up ghosts, flaten' em' up,and press em' onto paintings!)
age:60-70 I suppose
area he lives in:big spooky laboratory in creepy forest next to haunted house(Let's see you go there)
games he's been in:Luigi's mansion (The suck up spit out routine in this game is based on a game called tumble pop)
Height(without the long strand of hair sticking up):Luigi's height minus luigi's head and the hat
friends:Mario,Luigi, spooky ghost familiy that lives in mansion
his history is bleak
Forgotten heroism
He saved Luigi
how would you find Mario without his books,gameboy horror and Poltergust 3000
(And to that tubby copter in Mario busters,Mario's in Luigi's mansion.)
He let you look at free paintings and charged you no fee! dang,the back room in that place is beutiful!
E.Gadd got ghosts from all over the world

Thoughts From Jay
Um, ok. That was random. Although it was done on a cool new character.

Ness By, Jeremy Cardosa

Race: Psychic Human Child, Destine
Looks: Red Cap, Black Hair, Brown Eyes, Yellow and Purple Shirt, Purple Shorts, Red Shoes
Claim to Fame: Destroyed A Cosmic Destroyer and his Alien Army
Likes to: Rock
Dislikes to: Fight
Last seen: On EarthBound
Allies: Paula, Jeff, Poo
Ness was a semingly kid from Onett, a small town in EagleLand, A Planet much like Earth. When a Meotorite landed near his hometown, there, he met a Ally Alien 10 years from the future. The Ally told him about a legend about 3 boys and a girl saving EagleLand from a Cosmic Destroyer named King Giygas. Then he became much popular around EagleLand after destroying GiyGas. He met his Allies: Paula, A Psychic Girl from Twoson, Jeff, a Genius and Prince Poo, a kindhearted Arabian. Much is hidden about Ness's Past. Once I heard they are going to make EarthBound 64.

Thoughts From Jay
I should really try out Earthbound sometime.

Rayman By, Rayman FREAK

Note: Rayman is NOT a Mario character. Nor is he liscenced by Nintendo. He has had his two games put on Nintendo though, & I thought not many people know about him. This is why I am giving a bio of him here: He IS a neglected character. Sota... Besides, Jay has done a kirby bio & a Link NC, but they aren't Mario characters either. In short, please don't hurt me Jay!

Race: Limbless guy with helicopter hair
Gender: Male
Games: Two (the first is on 3 systems, the second is on just about every system)
Age: I'd say he's about 26
Reason he has no limbs: How the hell do we know
Mortal enemies: Two (Mr.Dark & Razorbeard)
Currently alive & debuting on GBA.

Rayman, the limbless wonder, grew up in a peacefull place that was made up of 6 main wolds. Since I don't know the name of this land, I'll refer to it as Raytopia. Anyway, on Raytopia, nobody had arms, legs, of necks. obviously, there were no guillitines here. These people were peacefull anyway. The big thing that provided that peace was called the Great Protoon. Why? i dunno. This great protoon also provided the harmony & balance of Raytopia. There were creatures that gravitated around it called electoons. Why? i still dunno. Being the local hero, Rayman had to protect everybody. too bad that he was relaxing in his hammock when Mr.Dark, some big evil guy attacked! He stole the great protoon & beat up some fairy dudette named Betilla when she pathetically tried to get it back, armed with a toaster, a bag of "cheetos", & a bus pass. So since the GP was stolen, the electoons panicked & scattered all over Raytopia. Rayman was accused of not killing this Dark dude when he should have. He was scentenced to go on a journey to get back the GP. Either that or he decided to save the world to ammuse himself. Anyway, he couldn't really do much except make faces, so that Betilla fairy person gave him new powers when she had the energy. First, he learned how to punch people from a distance with his floating hands. Eventually, he could grab things, hang onto ledges, use his hair as a helicopter... well, that's a little wierd, but usefull, & run faster.

So now that he had powers, Rayman went looking for electoons. He freed them all from there cages that freaks decided to hide them in, & along the way, beat up five bosses. For some reason, all of the male bosses were just Mr. something or other. The writers weren't very creative, but what else are you going to call a giant Saxaphone besides Mr.Sax? So after getting past the first five worlds, (the Dream Forest, Band Land, the Blue Mountains, Picture City, & the Cave of Skops) he got to Mr.Darks hideout called the Candy Cheatau. If you haven't guessed, its made entirely out of candy. When he got there, he learned that Betilla was captured by Mr.Dark. He really didn't care, he just wanted to have a descent fight. & maybe eat a lot of candy. So he beat up Mr.Dark & got back the GP. For some reason, when he got back, all of the limbless people were dead. He became & endangered species, or, on broadway, a goldmine. So some robot pirate freaks captured him & wanted to put him in a circus. So Rayman kicked the big metal a**es & escaped with some big dumb jerk named Globox. He & globox became friends, but globox got lost. The robo pirates aparantally destroyed the GP, which they now called the heart of the earth. The electoons evolved into Lums, which were basically flying electoons. Betilla died & was replace by the skinnier more cat like Ly the fairy. Ly took on Betillas job giving Rayman new powers. Rayman had to save Raytopia again, but he couldn't do it alone. Ly told him to reserect a god named Polokus using four masks that either had magic powers, or were just something that Polokus really liked. She said that this Polokus dude could save the world. Either that or they were dating & she wanted Rayman to bring him back so she could make out with him. Either way, Rayman decided to get started.

Rayman found the different masks in various sanctuarys. Along the way, he found Globox, but he got lost again. After finding the first 3 masks, Rayman traveled to the iron mountains, the biggest mountain chain in the Blue Montains. There, he met Mrs.Gobox & learned that Globox tried to kill Razorbeard, but was never seen again. Rayman thought he probably went to a bar. That guy was always drunk. Also, Globoxs 200 or so kids were lost. Wow, Globox is really a sex machine! Rayman found all of the kids & also found the last mask. Polokus was reserected & he beat up all of the robo pirates. He wanted Rayman to beat Razorbeard for him though. Meanwhile, Razorbeard ordered a machine to kill Rayman. it was called the Grogolth. Another sign that the writers aren't creative. Is that a bad name or what? Anyway, Rayman got to Razorbeards prison ship, where he kept all of the other circus freaks. Rayman got ther just in time to save globox from the grogolth, & Rayman fought the grogolth. I think you know who wins. thats right, Razorbeard. Well, actually, nobody won. The grogolth finally was defeated, but had a self destruct mechanism that still worked. Razorbeard triggered it & fllew away on his magical unicorn. Okay, it was an escape pod, but thats close to a unicorn! Anyway, Rayman was blown to kingdom Kom. Well, his left foot was blown back to Raytopia. Rayman came back after a few weeks, & his foot reunited with him. Well, Razorbeard got away, but Rayman was able to but the GP back together, so i guess you could say Rayman won.

Now, to answer the unanswered. What happened to all of the slaves when the prison ship blew up? well, Polokus freed them before that happened, so they were safe. Why did Betilla die? because everyone who played the first game hated her, so the writers replaced her with Ly. Why did Mr.Dark & Razorbeard attack anyway? Well, Mr.Dark thought that all of the people in Raytopia had really great lives, & all he had was a one room apartment on top of a bowling alley. I think i already said why razorbeard attacked, but the only reason he destroyed the GP was so that everyone would die & that nbody could free the prosoners. Unfortunately, Razorbeard didn't read the instructions on the GP that said that it didn't controll the people. Why does Rayman have no limbs? Because nobody in Raytopia does. Enough said. As a final note, get Rayman games. Especially you, Jay. You'd like them. Please use Rayman in your comix! Well, thats all i know about Rayman. Seeya! =)

Thoughts From Jay
I should really try out Rayman sometime.

Shyguys By, Epsilon

The Ultimate Mario Theory of Shyguys That Explains It All (Almost)

By Epsilon
On earth some humans were testing with a machine that could open vortexes to other worlds. They opened a vortex to The Mushroom Kingdom and the test subjects went through along with a replica of the machine. When they went through the vortex the machine broke and could not bring them back to earth. Some elected to make friends with the inhabitants of the land, but most hid their faces and became Shyguys. Mario’s parents befriended the Toads and lived in the mushroom kingdom. After the incident with Kamek and Baby Bowser, they got scared, so when the Shyguys finally opened the portal for a few seconds the Mario Bros. were the fist through. Then the machine broke again, much to the dismay of the Shyguys. Mario and Luigi were adopted by a nice couple and became construction workers and plumbers. Meanwhile, Peach Toadstool became very popular with the Mushroom People and eventually became their princess. Mario and Luigi had they’re run in with donkey Kong, then fell through the portal into the mushroom kingdom, which had temporarily reopened. DK and DK Junior or Diddy followed them through and eventually became the test subjects for another attempt to get the Shyguys home, thus sending them to DK country. The Mario Bros. Saved TMK and Peach from Bowser for the first time, and the Shyguys traveled through a portal to subcon where they became slaves of Wart and made trouble for a human family (in Doki Doki panic).

The Shyguys Appear in Doki Doki Panic

Then they fought Mario and his friends in subcon (SMB2) but were defeated. Some traveled back along with Wart’s other minions through the portal (ninjis, bobombs, etc.), because they were finally free of Wart’s reign. Then some traveled to the Yoshi Islands (Yoshi Island and Lava Lava island) to cause havoc and steal. The rest went to The Shyguy Toybox, were they continued research on the Vortex Machine and stole things at the command of General Guy (Paper Mario). Some of their experiments led them and other TMK residents to the Windfish’s dream (Zelda: Links Awakening). Wart also went through the portal to the Zelda world and became Mumbo the Frog.Kirby was also temporarily sucked into the Zelda universe (anti-kirby). Tatanga was also accidentally brought to TMK with the Shyguys warp. Some Shyguys decided to follow Mario and reveal themselves to be humans (the most recent was Waluigi). Basically, the whole Mario story revolves around the Shyguys experiments in trying to get out of the Mario universe and go to earth. The Vortex Machine was also used by Bowser to make painting became portals into other worlds (SM64).

-- Epsilon --

Thoughts From Jay
Goofy Nintendo. Just think. If Nintendo never got lazy with Super Mario Bros. 2, Shyguys would never be concidered a Mario character.