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Viewer Bios

Viewer Bios

By Old Authors

Chain Chomp By, Unknown

Name: Chompus Chainanus (Chain Chomp)
Gender: n/a
Height: Varies within the timeline, avg. 5'4"
Weight: Varies within the timeline, avg. 186 lbs.
Age: n/a
Race: Koopa Weapons, Inc. (no race)

After an incident in the pipes of Brooklyn, King Morton Bowser Koopa (see other bio incoming soon) founds the Koopa Troop. Since he is short on slaves with arms, he has no time to build weaponry and capture the princess at the same time. All he is able to build are the lowly Bullet Bills and Big Berthas. Soon after his defeat, he has a vision while Mario is off in Dreamland. Marrying a distorted, female Koopa Paratroopa, he has seven young ones for hire and then kills off the mother. Making them eat Super Mushroom Soup, they grow quickly into young teens. They are the ones who now work at the factory.

The Koopa Kids build and destroy, build and destroy. Just before the plumbers' rearrival, they create wands, (soon taken for federal circumstances by the Mushroom Police) Bob-ombs, Airships, and the infamous Chain Chomp.

One their favorite weapons, the give it half a mind (the better half of Ludwig Von Koopa). Now the smartest weapon is found everywhere. The Koopa family put them everywhere as a watchdog for the Marios. Their cousin, the golden Chain Chomp is actually a mix of 12 Goombas, a fire flower, a Boo Diddley or 2, and most of all, the super, wacky, wonderful, magnificent, wizard-like Magikoopa wand.

Okay so there's only a paragraph on Chain Chomp. At least I made how it was made!

Thoughts From Jay
Oops! I almost forgot the patented "Thoughts from Jay" in this set of Viewer Bios! I guess I'll fix that now. What??? Kind Morton? Female Koopa Paratroopas? Strange stuff.

Hammer Bros. By, Kirby Rocks

Hammer Bros. Ht. 8ft. weight: 600lbs.
First appearance: Super Mario Bros.
Other Appearences: Super Mario RPG, Super Mario Bros. 3
The Hammer Bros. are Bowsers flunkies they are large and have big hammers which they throw. They have a bad temperament and don't like people near them. The Hammer Bros. look like Giant Turtles and are some of Bowsers top men. They always appear together and watch each others back like Brothers should be. The Hammer Bros. were first shown in Suber Mario Bros. in which they would meet you in the middle of a level and try to postpone you. they usually were on a place with 2 platforms and they would jump up and down and throw hammers. Another appearence was in Super Mario Bros. 3 in which they fought you in between levels and if you beat them a treasure chest with an item inside for you, again they show up with platforms and jump up and down. There next appearence was in Super Mario RPG as the first boss. This time they come in a two pack and are better drawn. They have three attacks in all the games combined. Attack 1: Hammer throw: this is obvious 2: Hammer pound: again obvious 3: Hammer Time: the Hammer Bros. throw 4 hammers at you and it hurts! The Hammer Bros. have few appearences and are not well known but they have been a part of Mario History for a while. This has been written by Kirby Rocks!

Thoughts From Jay
Cool. Hammer Bros. Very descriptive and all that good stuff. There wern't any Hammer Bros. in Super Mario World? Thats odd.

Clawgrip By, maine@telusplanet

Name: Clawgrip
Age: 20
Species: Crab
Gender: Male

Clawgrip is a crab who is very mean and nastly long time he lived in the ocean but when a strange chemical splashed over him it made him very strong and big. First joining with wart to take over subcon. when clawgrip was fighting with the mario borthers and lost. He decided to go back to his home in the mushroom sea. He was never heard of again. He is happy hearing that wart was gone.

Thoughts From Jay
I bet I had this one on my hard drive for a Million Years. My appologies to all of you who had to wait forever to get these up. We need more crab bad guys in Mario games.

Luigi By, HairyHomer

Age- 31
Height- 6' 4"
Weight- 145 lbs
Friends- Mario(yes, he admits it), Peach, Link, Ness (though he often calls Ness a dip-stick and once said he was probably going to get stuck in a tuba)
Enemies- Bowser, The Koopa Kids
Favorite way of relieving stress- Putting a metal pot over Ness's head a banging it with a wooden spoon rapeaditly(only if Ness is the stressor).
Other Data- Luigi's 5 years younger and 7 inches taller than his older brother Mario. He and Link were pen pals from the time Luigi was 12 (Link was 10). He's very skillful at training Pokemon and even has some very rare Pokemon like one rarer than Mew called Thaimut. Very witty. He can easily out-wit most people while Link can easily out-insult most people.

Thoughts From Jay
Wait. Is this a Viewer Bio or not? I need a vacation.

Luigi By, Tuxedo Ken

Name: Luigi
Age: A few seconds younger than Mario
Height: Taller than Mario
Weight: Slimmer than Mario

As we all know, Mario has stolen the spotlight from Luigi many times. But have you wondered why Luigi hasn't complained? It goes like this. In Brooklyn, Mario and Luigi were working on someone's bathtub (sound familiar?), when they get sucked down the pipe. Mario hangs on for dear life, but couldn't get a good grip. They go down the pipe and end up in the Mushroom Kingdom, where they learn that Princess Toadstool Peach has been kidnapped by that loser, Bowser. Mario and Luigi head for Bowser's castle, and they rescue Peach. Luigi gets upset that Peach got a crush on Mario but said nothing.

Forward to 3 years later, where Bowser is secretly building up his army. Mario spots a doorway in his dream, and after talking to Luigi, Toad and Peach, they find the door. Mario, being the tubby hero he is (he put on weight during the three years), tells everyone that he'll rescue the Subcons from Wart. Luigi stops him and says that he got credit last time, and he'll rescue the Subcons. Luigi makes it to Wart's castle (via the warp pipe in 5-3), and knocks him out with Wart's own Veggie Maker (or picker, whatever you wanna call it). The Subcons thank Luigi, and the team heads home.

Two years later, Bowser has returned from a secret love experience from his wife (who we know nothing about), and has brought his 7 kids to take over the Mushroom World (the parallel world to Mushroom Kingdom?), and each of them steals the king of that world's wands, and transforms each of them into a different animal. Mario and Luigi agree to work together. When they free the Pipe Maze world king, they learn that Bowser had kidnapped Peach, and has her hostage in his Dark World (no relation to the Dark World in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past). Mario and Luigi make it through Bowser's castle, where they defeat Bowser again and rescue Peach. Of course, she falls for Mario, leaving Luigi upset.

Mario was at home watching a plumbing show while Luigi was sleeping. A letter came from an alien named "Tatanga", and it said that he kidnapped Princess Daisy. Mario, being the stubborn brother he is, doesn't wake up Luigi and heads for Sarasaland alone. He makes it to the last kingdom, and defeats Tatanga in a dramatic battle between Mario's Sky Pop and Tatanga's Pagosu (not sure of the ship's name). Mario arrives home, only to discover that Luigi is ticked off, and runs off to sulk (or see Daisy).

Fast forward to 1996, where Mario and Bowser are at it again, when a giant sword drives itself into Bowser's Keep, and sends Mario flying towards Mario's Pad, Peach towards Booster's Tower, and Bowser to a place unknown. Mario heads to Mushroom Kingdom, after telling Toad the news that Peach was kidnapped AGAIN! When Mario arrives, he meets a young puffball named Mallow. A few days later, they get to Tadpole Pond, and talk to Mallow's "grandfather", Frogfucius. He explains that the star Mario and Mallow found in Mushroom Kingdom (after defeating Mack) will help the world. A week later, Mario, Mallow and three friends, Geno, Peach and Bowser make it inside the Smithy Factory, where they defeat Smithy and claim the Seventh Star Piece.

A few months have passed. Bowser has taken over Peach's new castle and has stolen 105 Power Stars (15 remained hidden), and kidnapped Peach AGAIN! Mario appears on the scene, and defeats Bowser three times and recovers all the stars.

Mario has scheduled a new Mario Kart tournament, and of course, Bowser enters, along with a few new contestants, DK and Wario. Luigi comes out on top after all the races, while Mario ends up in dead last.

Mario and a few other Nintendo mascots have scheduled a fighting tournament. Everything goes okay, but Luigi appears, with a few other neglected characters, Ness, Captain Falcon and Jigglypuff, and together, they nail Mario and the others.

What's next for our plumber in green? Luigi fans wait patiently for him to star in a game and knock Mario out of the spotlight.

Thoughts From Jay
Dang, poor Luigi. Hehe, I like the emphesis on the number of times Peach has been kidnapped.

Metroid By, jones5@blazenetme

Vital stats:
Race: Metroid
Job: Living in the caves of PopStar
Gender: Male
Height: ???
Weight: ???
Age: 5
Status: Alive, waiting for next attack on PopStar.
Number of times he invaded PopStar: 1

Metroid first lived in a place called SR388. He and his race were happy to be on the planet, until Samus came. He blasted every Metroid in sight while the other Metroids found a warp to PopStar. They went in and crashed into Mt. Dedede and were transformed into soldiers by King Dedede. Sorry for this small bio., I just said the Metroids made a great home on PopStar.

Thoughts From Jay

Multiple Bios By, John

Name: Lava Lotus/Volcano Lotus
Age: Plants can last for quite some time, especially volcanic plants.
Height: I am NOT trying to hold my breath and swim to the depths of the
Island World or Pipe Maze to measure the height of a gelatin plant that shoots lava. Forget it!
Weight: I can't uproot them or slide the scale under them. My gear isn't waterproof either.
Gender: They're gelatin-like, lava-shooting plants.
Likes: Water and lava, a dangerous combination.
Hates: Yoshi, Cape Feathers, Starman, and whoever designed the Hammer Suit
Lava Lotus must have been Bowser's LEAST favorite minion, as there are only 6 of them in SMB3. 3 on 3-1, and another 3 on 7-4. Since Bowser hates getting wet, he never saw that Mario and Luigi had trouble evading or killing them. He gave them another chance as the land-dwelling Volcano Lotus in SMW, and then he saw what they did - they failed miserably. Bowser never let them appear in another game again. They wanted to work for smithy, but he only used tools - all organic foes belonged to Bowser.

Name: Tweeter
Age: Old.
Height: He thought the tape measure was a worm...
Weight: HEY! Who pecked my scale?!
Gender: Male and female.
Likes: Worms
Hates: Plumbers, Royalty, Mushroom Retainers, Wart, and whoever overlooked them for SMB3 and SMRPG
Presumed fate: Still alive, pecking thei way out of the slumbering imagination of their creators.

Tweeter was a jumper, but a bad one. Wart trained them for both the long jump and the high jump, but Tweeter couldn't do it. They can't fly, which is why Pidgit was created. Pidgit got to use a flying carpet, which ticked off Tweeter. Now they were furious. They staged a revolt against Wart, but he was able to control them with his Shuguy army. Shyguys, Snifits, and Tweeters (And Beezos) all wear masks, and Phanto is a mask, so they became friends. They soon learned of Bowser's army living in Mushroom Kingdom, and decided to warp there. They found the only warp between dream and reality somewhere in Wart's attic. Wart, meanwhile was getting his butt kicked. All of the masked fiends escaped into reality through the warp - except the Tweeters. At the time he was jumping through, Mario woke up, closing the warp. Tweeters have been trying to escape into reality through the warp, but something stands in the way... that being the tired imagination of the SMB design team, which they can't jump over. Will they ever make it to another game?

Name: Rocky Wrench
Age: 27
Height: Kinda small
Weight: Alright, there's a wrench in my scale, and I know who put it there!
Gender: Male (Most in game) and female (brown ones on Darkland)
Likes: Carpentry, plumbing, plumbers, Hammer Bros.
Hates: Bowser, Bowyer (annoyed by his noise), Iron Oxide (Rust)
Presumed fate: still on the Doomships, Battleships, Doomtanks, and Mini-Airships, waiting for the next game to have them.

Like Spike, Rocky Wrenches know their territorial preferences and stick to them. They chose the military vehicles of Bowser's army. Bowser gave them the simple orders to: "Attack anything that you hear moving on my vehicles!" And they do. The Bros. know this, and will stomp them appropriately, or use their tails, fireballs, hammers, etc... The male ones show up on the Doomships and Battleships, and will always come back for more (They like waht they do, even being killed). Darkland holds the vehicles with females aboard. They don't like all the noise, that's why they only appear once. They can't take hits as well as the guys, so they don't come back after being killed. In their spare time, Rocky Wrenches, Spike, and the Hammer Bros. family spend time playing poker with the Mario Bros, and talking about the fall of Bowser (which one hapened that day, that is!)

That's all the bios!

Thoughts From Jay
Wow, a bio on Tweeter probably writen even before Dr. Donez was created.

Multiple Bios By, Mariorox

I have three NC's for ya. They are both nonMario characters, but like Kirby, they aren't very well known.

Name: Pit
Games he's been in: Kid Icarus(NES), Kid Icarus: Myths & Monsters(GB). Not much.
Stories that need to be told: -Who is he?
-How'd he get two names?
Forgotten Heroism: -He saved Angelland from Medusa.
Why People Like Pit: -Pity- He's the most neglected character in the Nintendo Universe
-Archery- He's good with the bow & arrow
-Willpower- he always has his mind on his missions.
Name: Little Mac
Games he's been in: Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!!, Punch-Out!!! Featuring Mr. Dream
Stories that need to be told: -Why he wants to be a boxer
-What did he do after he knocked out Tyson/Dream?
-Did he ever join the Nintendo Fun Club?
Forgotten Heroism: -He defeated many opponents.
-Knocked out King Hippo
Why People Like Little Mac: -Boxer-some people just like boxing
-Little Guy VS. Big Guy- He's an underdog. He fights boxers triple his size!
Name: Samus Aran
Games she's been in: Metroid, Metroid II: Return of Samus, Super Metroid
Secondary Game she's been in: Super Smash Bros.
Stories that need to be told: -Where'd she come from?
-How did she get the cybernetic implants?
-How did she become the greatest bounty-hunter?
-Are the metroids extinct? Or are there still some more somewhere?
Forgotten Heroism: -She saved the galaxy 3 times!
Why People Like Samus: -Strong, Agile, Intellegent
-Setting is the future
-Mystery- in the first Metroid, we didn't know any
information on her, we didn't even know whether if she was male or female at the time.
-Dangers-She fights dangerous creatures like Pirates & Metroids!

Thank you for taking your time to read my message.
Yours Truly,

Thoughts From Jay
Um...great job. Good work. Keep it up.

SOSHI, THE YELLOW YOSHI By, Jocie Farrell/Sailor-Mini-Moon

Age: Yoshi's age (11 or 12, who knows?)
Gender: Female
Height: Average for a Yoshi (who knows what that is?)
Weight: 70 pounds(average for a Yoshi)
Number of times won racing on Yosters Isle: 2 (Yo'ster Isle on Mario RPG)

Soshi's parents are a blue Yoshi and a red Yoshi. She was born on a summer day in the month of July. That's when most baby Yoshi's are born. Yoshi (the famous green Yoshi) had been born a couple days earlier. Soshi grew up playing with all the other yoshi's, and became friends with everyone. They all had fun swimming, eating berries and cookies, running races, playing games of Yoshi Tag, Yoshi Ball, and so on...

One rainy day, Yoshi left the island to go help Mario. No one was playing cuz it was raining(a really bad storm, with lightning and thunder and the works) and she sat inside her palm-tree house. Her parents had gone shopping, and she was all alone. She was looking outside the window when a shadow appeared coming out of the forest. Lightning lit up the sky long enough for her to see a guy with a green hat and a mustache. She kept watching, and another bolt lit the sky up, and she saw he looked like Mario, who she had seen in a picture Yoshi had. Soshi, being a kind Yoshi, grabbed a towel and ran outside. She grabbed the figure and ran back inside, just as lightning hit the spot where they were a second ago. She had no clue the figure was Luigi.

Soshi made some soup(she's a good cook) and gave it to Luigi, who thanked her. She sat down while Luigi ate the soup. When he was done, Soshi asked him who he was. He said "I'm Luigi, Mario's bro." Soshi was really happy, because she thought if he was related to Mario, he was famous. Luigi and Soshi became good friends, and Soshi always was willing to help whenever there was trouble. Yoshi and Soshi became known as the "MARIO BRO. YOSHI'S" and they all lived happily ever after( well, at least until Bowser or some other evil guy comes along...)

THE END. Jocie Farrell/Sailor-Mini-Moon

Thoughts From Jay

Plum By, Bowser's #1 fan

Age: 23
Lives: In Toad Highlands' lounge
Hobbies: Golfing
Hangout: Golf Courses
First appreance: Mario Golf

One day in Brooklyn, a professanal golf player named Plum went for a walk. She was a pretty good golfer, but not a great one. When she took a walk that day, she hit a golf ball with a putter side-to-side as she whent, as she always did. As she walked she lost control of the ball and rolled into a sewer She went after it beacause that type of ball was expensive. She lifted up the top a jumped in. What happened was that Plum had jump into the Warp Zone. Soon, she landed in the Mushroom Kingdom. To Be Continued.......

Thoughts From Jay

Subcon By, Erik Winzeler

Vital Stats
Age: Varies
Gender: Males and Females
Height: Shorter than Toad
Weight: Lighter than Mario
Status: Currently thriving in Subconia
Times they pretended to be fairies and scare little children: 20

It all started with a dream. One day, Baby Bowser refused to go to bed. Kamek got sick of it and made a potion to put Bowser to sleep. But little did he know that he mixed his dreaming potion in with the sleeping potion, and any dream that Bowser had would come true. And that night, Bowser dreamed of a world far away called Subconia where little fairy men lived. Bowser got up screaming in terror! He went and told Kamek, who didn't believe him and sent him to bed. But Bowser wouldn't go to bed in fear that the little fairy men would come again. But it was already too late. Right as Bowser woke up, the dream came true, and the little fairy men came to life. They were grateful to Bowser. And the next night, they came to him in a dream and told him how to get rid of Kamek. So as soon as Bowser woke up, he went over to Kamek and shouted "NOW". Suddenly a door popped out of nowhere and three dozen Sub-cons flew out. Kamek ran screaming "Aaahh, the fairy men are alive!" The Sub-cons chased Kamek into the door and flew in after him. Kamek fought back, turning the Sub-cons into horrible creatures like Shy-guys and Snifits. But the Sub-cons overpowered him, and used the Dream Machine to transform Kamek into the most hideous creature ever - Wart, who couldn't do anything. The Sub-cons sent Wart, with the Shy-guys, Snifits, and all the other deformed Sub-cons far away. But Kamek-Wart was far from finished. He united the deformed Sub-cons and all the bad dreams in Subconia and attacked the King of the Sub-cons, stealing the Dream Machine. He used it to make more of his deformed creatures, including Beezos, Ninjis, and Trouters. The Sub-cons went into hiding. Then, they entered the dream of a pasta-eating plumber, knowing that this was their last hope. They begged him to come save their world from the evil Wart-creature. Mario then found a warp door to Subconia with Luigi, Toad, and Peach. They battled Warts minions all the way to Sub-con castle, which was run by Wart. Mario and Luigi recognized something about Wart from their childhood, but they couldn't figure it out. So Mario and co. battled the veggie-hating Wart until he couldn't take it anymore. He surrendered, and Mario and co. went home as Subconian heroes, as far as Mario's dream went. As for Wart, the Sub-cons punished him by feeding him only vegetables and forcing him to watch the Looney Tunes Frog in concert over and over and over and over...

This is Erik Winzeler signing off.

Thoughts From Jay
Subconians rule.