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THE KOOPA RACE By, zack rzetelny

ROLE CALL: (too many to count)
SPECIES: koopa
APPEARANCES: Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Mario World, Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's island, Super Mario Kart, Super Mario 64, Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, Mario Party, Yoshi's Story, Super Mario Bros. 2 (japan), Mario Teaches Typing, Super Mario Bros. Super Show, Mario is Missing, Mario's Time Machine, Yoshi's Safari, Mario Kart 64, Mario Bros., Super Mario Comics, Mario Teaches Typing 2
AGE: varies

In the Mushroom Kingdom lives a species known as the koopas. if you have ever played Super Mario games you Know What they look like. in the distant past, they would wander around, looking for food and water. one day, a koopa named Bowser was born. he looked diferent from most koopas, for he had spikes on his shell. all the other koopas thought he was really cool, but he was'nt happy. he could see that the koopa race was going to die out if something was'nt done. and so he decided to run for King. every single koopa voted for him, and so he won the election. he knew he had to save his race, and so he ordered a huge castle built in the middle of yo'ster isle, home of the yo'sters. the yo'sters did'nt like this, but there was nothing they could do about it. but he was still a baby, and so someone had to watch over him. a magikoopa (Version of Koopas that wear robes and had magical powers) named kamek agreed to watch over him, because he knew that this baby would lead to the salvation of the koopa race. But kamek sensed the presence of one who would be a great threat to the koopas. so he intercepted the stork who was delivering baby Mario and baby Luigi, and kidnapped baby luigi. unfortunately, yoshi and baby mario conquered the entire koopa army despite kamek's magical power. even bowser himself was defeated by the yo'sters and mario. the yo'sters tore down the koopa castle and all the other outposts of the koopas on yo'ster isle. the koopa civilization was in ruin. bowser and kamek struggled to hold it together, but it seemed hopeless. bowser knew that he had to save the koopa race, so he ordered a new castle built on yo'ster isle. he knew that if he kept using koopas as soldiers, they might die. so he hired shy guys and other creatures to work as soldiers and ordered kamek to stay in a safe location and to protect the other koopas near him. bowser did'nt want any more interferance from the yo'sters, so he stole thier super happy tree and turned thier island into a storybook. but a group of yo'sters once again conquered the koopas and tore down the New koopa castle and outposts. bowser himself again was defeated. it became obvious that the koopa clan was no match for the yo'sters, Bowser realized that it was impossible to defeat the yo'sters. he decided that he should move in to the mushroom kingdom, where it was safe. so he built a new castle in mushroom kingdom, but the naitives thought it was an invasion. so the naitive mushroom people attacked the castle. bowser sent a shy guy ambassador in the hopes of peace, but the mushroom people killed the shy guy. this enraged bowser, because he cared for each and every servant of his, even the non-koopa ones. so bowser started a war with the mushroom people and attacked thier cities for years until he was a grown-up. finally, he kidnapped thier princess and kamek turned them all to stone, (exept the mushroom king), and demanded that they surender. the stubborn king refused, and tried every magic spell he had in an attempt to free his men. bowser ordered a small party of shellcreepers (yet another species of koopa) with non-koopa escorts (he needed his koopas protected) to explore some warp pipes in hopes of finding allies/friends. the shellcreepers never knew what hit them. they were never heard from again. bowser grew worried. mario and luigi emerged from the pipe. bowser and the other koopas were horrified! anyone who could defeat the entire koopa army at such a young age even with the help of the yo'sters had incredible power, especily full grown. then he realized the shellcreeper troop was dead. he was angry, but he knew he would be defeated if he attacked. he realized he had to defend the koopa castle with everything he had. he built other castles in the way of koopa castle and filled them all with lava traps and guards. he even guarded the castles himself (he is a good fighter you know.) but mario and luigi conquered every one of them, even with the help of para-koopas (koopas with wings) and powerful non-koopas called Hammer brothers. finally, bowser returned to koopa castle and battled the mario bros. in a desperate attempt to save the koopa race. he lost, and koopa castle was again torn down. he knew he had to escape, so he gave the order to retreat. he knew that he would be defeated again if he tried to build another castle. but if they did'nt build another castle, the koopa race would crumble. kamek had an idea. bowser trusted kamek, and took kamek's advice. he built another castle, this one in dark world (an extremely hot place filled with lava). he started construction on a giant fleet of hover ships heavily armed. he hired many more koopa and non-koopa soldiers. (by the way, kamek's advice was to hide and wait and make a small attack on mushroom kingdom to make the mushroom people fear him so maybe they would not attack him again. then, he would have enough power to defend himself.) so he attacked mushroom kingdom in small numbers but just enough for them to percieve it as a real attack. of course mario and luigi foiled his plot. meanwhile, a small party of koopas went to sleep and had a strange dream where they were killed and their shells were kicked around by Mario, Luigi, Toad, and princess Toadstool... back to the main koopa troop: kamek wanted to help, and he knew bowser loved life and koopakind and peace and all that. so he cast a spell so that all koopas who died would come back to life and rejoin the koopa family/ clan/troop. so he cast the spell, but one thing he could not do was restore thier bodies. so they were nothing but bones and they could still move and talk and all that so they were happy to be alive again and bowser was very pleased. thier forces grew even more powerful by the minuete. meanwhile, bowser met a beautiful (female) koopa and married her, and had 7 kids: Morton, Lemmy, Iggi, Roy, Ludwig, Wendy O, and Larry. the koopa kids loved thier parents and decided to fight with the koopa army. (they had inherited bowser's genes and therefore were bigger than most koopas). bowser was worried with thier safety and so he gave each of them command of one of the koopa flying ships (or KFS). they told thier non-koopa (but still powerful) friends, the boom-booms, to help in the fight. bowser was very pleased because, now his army would be even twice as powerful. he built castles for all the boom-booms. finally, the koopa army was ready to fight mario. but of course mario and luigi defeated all of them and (AGAIN) tore down koopa castle and wrecked all the flying ships. (the Koopa Kids survived but boom-boom did'nt) but the koopas were not ready to accept defeat. they constructed a new Koopa Castle this time underwater on a hidden island (the island is hidden because it is submerged due to flood). a passing ship, unaware of the underwater isle, crashed into it (the top of the isle was near the surface) and sank. his only mistake was making his koopa castle near yo'ster isle. the yo'sters attacked the koopas, but bowser managed to trap them in egges. but mario and luigi were on vacation in yo'ster isle where they found the egges and released one of the yo'sters from the egges. bowser knew that the yo'sters teamed up with mario and luigi would be unstoppable! so he built castles for his kids on dinosaur land (the continent that yo'ster isle is part of) and asked them to guard the egges. they agreed. but they were all eventually defeated and mario, luigi and the yo'sters saved the yo'ster egges. bowser himself was finally defeated, and he told his men to retreat. the koopa race had been through this before. again, they faced extintion. they needed a new plan. Bowser decided to enter the mushroom go-kart race tournament. the people of the Mushroom kingdom questioned him being there, but he told them he was not there to wage war. the made a temporary cease-fire and Bowser won a few times and returned home with 500 gold coins of prize money. he also found 3 frog coins on the way home and with that money he was able to rebuild his forces. he found out about mario's home dimension and so he invaded it. he did'nt kill anyone there, he just stole a few things and kept at least one Koopa in each town. when Mario went to save his home planet, Bowser managed to capture Mario! the koopas rejoiced. if Mario himself could be captured, perhaps the koopas could survive! but Luigi saved Earth (mario and luigi's homeworld) and went into Koopa Castle (yet another one) and defeated Bowser and saved mario. the koopas tried a few other attempts to win the war with the mushroom people but they failed. finally, Bowser found out about a mountain which had secretly been carved by the koopas into bowser's face. Bowser Knew he could not give up, so he built another Koopa Castle on top of it. he built up his forces in that castle. Kamek went to another part of the world to build another force of koopas for a surprise attack on the mushroom people. Kamek built an underground hidout for them.

Thoughts From Jay
Blah, blah, blah. Sorry about that. And now the next bio.

Snifit Bio By, SD Yoshi Blue

name: Snifit
age: unknown
gender: it's hard to tell, since they all wear some kind of mask. Note that they all wear skirts as well...or maybe they're supposed to be robes? Maybe I just think too much....-_-;
first appearance: Super Mario Bros. 2 (a.k.a: Super Mario USA)
known relatives: There may be a connection between the Snifits and the many different types of Shy-guys. Perhaps the Snifits are more evolved, or heavily armed versions of the standard Shyguy. Not sure though.....
occupation: Soldiers of Wart in SMB2, servants of Booster in and minor enemies in SMRPG and serving Baby Bowser in YI.
habitat: unknown: they seem to appear in almost any kind of environment in SMB2, but were more or less confined to castles and indoors areas in later games.
blood type: unknown
height: varies. They were pretty small in SMB2, but looked a lot larger in later games.
likes & dislikes: it's a safe bet that they don't like Mario and co. very much. They probably get along well with other types of Shy-guys.
game career: They first showed up in SMB2, where they usually stayed in place and jumped up and down a bit. Snifits that actually walked around were also present, but were quite rare. Their primary form of attack has always been a black, round bullet fired from the lower hole in their masks, though their firing patterns vary. Note that they wear black masks, with raise white borders around the mouth-and-eyeholes, unlike standard shy-guys who wear plain white masks. After SMB2 things went a bit quiet for the Snifits. They did get to appear in a few episodes of the SMB cartoons, and even in the SMB movie (although that can be considered as a career low point ^_^). Those who have seen the movie may remember strange figures in overalls wearing masks that resemble gas masks and who seem to communicate by making disturbing gurgle-gurle-gurgle noises (you see a lot of them in the scene where Mario and Luigi hijack a dump truck). Well, that's the movie version of the Snifits. Mario RPG saw the first proper comeback for them. They infested the Booster tower, chased Mario on the Booster hill sub-game, and seemed to be exclusive servants to Booster.They were now able to use magic spells and were a lot tougher to kill. Yoshi's Island aslo featured some Snifits, mainly in the castle levels, but they weren't as fearsome as in SMRPG (a quick lick of Yoshi's tongue would soon see the off). They were a lot bigger in these two games, and wore only grey outfits in SMRPG, and salmon-coloured ones in YI.. Strangely, YI replaced the Snifit's round bullets for pointy ones. And that's it so far.
Future prospects: Considering that SM64 featured flying Shy-guys that occasionally fired bullets from their mouths like the Snifits used to do, one might think that the Snifits are now forever but a fond memory, and that these helicopte-shy-guy imposters have now takne over Shame, that....
Mysteries: Some questions worth asking here: were do they get the endless supply of bullets from? And where do they keep those bullets until they come out of their mouths? And how can they breathe properly? We'll probably be left guessing forever....

That's about it. Thanks for reading all of this.


Thoughts From Jay
Zzzz...need more sleep. Great bio. Now for another one.

Mezzo Bomb By, musashi_xiii@hotmail.com

Name: Mezzo Bomb
Age: 35 MK(Mushroom Kingdom) years (Practically New!)
Height: 27' 1"
Weight: Don't ask me!!!
Likes: Major explosives, hot-headed people, blowing up.
Dislikes: Mario Bros., The NY City Bomb Squad, Other stuff, "for no good reason."
Gender: Bomb (What'd ya expect?)
When Punchinello based himself in the Moleville Mine, he knew he needed something big to make some fame for himself. Thus came Mezzo Bomb. Using a blueprint he "borrowed" from Bowser, he multiplied all values(materials, amount of explosive powder, etc.) by 13. But he included something different in this one. He gave it a personality, a life. A living bomb with living emotions. But something went wrong. Instead of preserving itself, it wanted to explode and blow stuff up. He immediately switched it off, for fear that it might go off right then and there. He wrote down all his notes on the new bomb, as well as a list of components needed for the emotional system, which was later found by a resident of Moleville. Was last seen in a battle against Mario, Mallow, and Geno.


Thoughts From Jay
You know, i wouldn't be in this predicament if i'd just update more.

Metroid By, jones5@blazenetme.net

Vital stats:
Race: Metroid
Job: Living in the caves of PopStar
Gender: Male
Height: ???
Weight: ???
Age: 5
Status: Alive, waiting for next attack on PopStar.
Number of times he invaded PopStar: 1

Metroid first lived in a place called SR388. He and his race were happy to be on the planet, until Samus came. He blasted every Metroid in sight while the other Metroids found a warp to PopStar. They went in and crashed into Mt. Dedede and were transformed into soldiers by King Dedede. Sorry for this small bio., I just said the Metroids made a great home on PopStar.


Thoughts From Jay
Hm...Metroids and Popstar. Odd conbination.