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Viewer Bio. Poochy


By Stanley the Bugman

Luigi, Bowser, and Wario are great and all... but little respect has been acredited to one of the most powerful influences in Mario's universe—Poochy the dog.

STATUS: Hyperactive puppy
WEIGHT: A little heavy... too many Poochy treats
HEIGHT: About half of Mario's
LIKES: Yoshi, barking, snifing
DISLIKES: Shyguys, sock puppets (don't ask)
THINKS: He's a Yoshi
DOESN'T: Have a nose

A long time ago, before a certain plumber saved a certain princess...

A quiet day in the Mushroom Kingdom turned to terror when Kamek, the young King Bowser's foster parent, cook, guard, personal trainer, and overall doormat, came flying into the castle. An army of flying Koopa Troopas stormed the room of young Princess Toadstool. The miniature monarch, displaying her wits even at a young age, dove into the closet. The Koopas, however, spotted a bundle asleep in the royal bed, grabbbed it, and headed for the sky.

With the Mushroom Kingdom far behind, the Koopas opened their bundle in the air to find not Peach but Poochy, the princess's dog that was missing a nose. Outraged, Kamek ordered the pup dropped. The Koopa Troop headed back for the keep, but Poocey hurtled towards the ground where he crashed through the roof of everyone's favorite Yoshi, Yoshi. (It's a little-known fact that Yoshi is the only Yoshi actually named "Yoshi". All the other Yoshis have other names. I believe the yellow Yoshi's name is Bob.) The Yoshis accepted Poochey immediately as one of their own. Considering he didn't have a nose, Poochy got along quite well with (except with the pink Yoshis.... they're just stuck up). The pooch helped the Yoshis on two adventures—helping a baby find his way to his brother and retrieveing the Super Happy Tree from Bowser.

All was well for years until Poochy, following the scent of a particularly ripe Goomba into Wario's castle. Wario was about to give the mutt the usual intruder treatment (read: machine guns) when he noticed Poochy's tags. One glance at a locket holding Princess Peach's photo won Wario's heart. Wario decided at that moment to stop at nothing to win the princess's heart, thus beginning his psychotic obsession with Peach.

From Wario's castle, Poochy hitched a ride on Captain Syrup's S.S. Teacup. Leaning to far over the rail, however, sent Poochy into the water, where a kindly school of Cheep-Cheeps carried him to the shore. Asleep in the sand, Booster, looking for a good anniversary gift for Valentina, picked up Poochy, wrapped him, and presented him to his better half. Sick from the saltwater, Poochy threw up on the brides cocktail dress. Valentina, true to character, dropped kicked Poochy out of Booster's Tower and into the house of a certain lesser-known Mario brother. As Luigi looked at the wiggly canine package, he couldn't help but think he had seen the dog before. Poochy simply threw up again, and history was made.

Thoughts From Jay

Wow, lots of cross-overs. Poochy’s so cool. He was in Yoshi’s Story? I need to play that game. A Yoshi named Bob? I won’t get into any argument. Good bio.