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Ask Dr. Donez!

Ask Dr. Donez!



Question 901: How come Jared is not banned yet?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He has a anti-banning device.

Question 902: Why is this topic growing fast?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because everyone loves Dr. Donez!

Question 903: Am I gonna stop asking questions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No.

Question 904: Am I asking questions too fast?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Woo hoO! I'm right again!

Question 905: I'm confused. Everytime I turn my TV on, my cat frantically runs around. Can you set her straight?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Obviously your cat is possessed by the King Lemming. There is no hope.

Question 906: How much bluebanana meringue pie could you eat in a day?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Fifty. An hour.

Question 907: Why did I Post?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it beats mowing the lawn.

Question 908: Why do I miss Somari?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because he rules.

Question 909: Did you notice Rayman FREAK posted but he "left"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It was his ghost.

Question 910: Why did LVK Come back raelly fast?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He heard the Dr. Donez returned. Or maybe I'm just egotistical.

Question 911: How come I can't think of more questions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because I used my patented "Anti-question-commer-upper" on you! Hahaha!

Question 912: Is my brain fryed?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dang, I guess I missed.

Question 913: Are my questions being ignored?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes.

Question 914: How come the lemmings put themselves in dangerous situations? How do they do it for that matter?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because the King Lemming forces them to do so. Plus, the don't eat enough Bananna Bread.

Question 915: How do Video Game characters go so long without eating?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Grapefruit Extract (Gatta love the classics).

Question 916: Does Link ever take a shower?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only when he gets wet.

Question 917: (Points at a button on a control panel.) What does this button do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No! That's the...! (BOOM!) Self-destruct...

Question 918: What about this big red one?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No! That's...! (Explode) The back-up Self-destruct...

Question 919: Can you say hi to my cat for me?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hi to my cat for me.

Question 920: Will Tonberry2k's wonderful, wonderful cursors that he sent to Jay a looooong time ago ever be put up on the NC site? (assuming it is ever up again...)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes Tonberry, have no fear. I spoke with Jay, and yes, he has not forgotten about your cursors and yes, he does plan to put them up on NC. That is, if it ever returns.

Question 921: Yo Dr. D, I asked WHY King Lemming possessed me, not HOW. Can I get an answer to the question I asked?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. Haha, just kidding. But seriously, no. Haha, just kidding again. (Someone pushes the big red button again)...(Boom!) OK, I'll answer it! King Lemming possesed you...um...becase he is going to use you to infiltrate the NC Forum and turn it into the "Lemming Land". Actually, I just made that up. What do I look like? King Lemming? Go ask him!

Question 922: Why dose jay keep closeing my smithys raveng story i don't get it
Dr. Donez's Answer: Please ask your question in the form of a question. But seriously, you have been told why.

Question 923: How long have you been a member of the Communist Party?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, I've been a member for...wait...I'm kidding! I havn't been a member of the Communist Party...heh...heh.

Question 924: If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He gets paid 10 bucks a corn.

Question 925: Better yet, why did they make a song out of it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: They got paid 100 bucks for the song.

Question 926: War! What is it good for?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Killing thousands. That, and making crazy weapons of mass destruction.

Question 927: Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya? Punk?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes, I do, actually.

Question 928: Why, oh dear GOD WHY has the Backstreet Boys and other bands pressed out of oversized Barbie and Ken factories become so popular?!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because the world is sadly not fair. That, and it praises idiocy.

Question 929: Why am I not a mod?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, um...(runs).

Question 930: How did Dr. Donez become so darn smart? What is his secret?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, I did go to school for 44 years, afterall. You'd learn something too if you were a student for that long.

Question 931: And how is the problem with SMBHQ's server coming along?
Dr. Donez's Answer: SMBHQ? Oh, you mean that site that hosts NC. Heck if I know, I'm a video game character. But from Jay's curses from his office, I'd say it's still a problem.

Question 932: And what motivates some people to want to cause so much harm on boards like this? (I fear I probably know this already, but my IQ...its just no match for yours.)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, these people, lets call them "Supa-Trouble-Doers-And-All-Around-No-Fun-People" live off of choas. By creating choas in a nice peaceful place like NC, they thrive, live and become larger.

Question 933: Why do most people here think NC means,"not Mario"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because Jay brainwashed them with his Neglected messages.

Question 934: When will people ever realize that Luigi is not neglected?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I belive believe Jay once used the quote, "From where the sun now stands, Luigi will be neglected, forever." Or maybe he was just talking about bacon or something.

Question 935: Can I borrow some equipment, so I can make a pair of Radioactive Hotpants?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The Radioactive Hotpants is currently in Beta-testing mode, so sure, stop on by someday and bring your will.

Question 936: If Mamma's in the sky with Elvis, where's Uncle Buzzy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...Well... Actually...Uncle Buzzy...is...over there! Say hello Uncle Buzzy!

Question 937: Okay, Luigi's pulling a neglected characters party in my house. Wanna come?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah, my mom won't let me go to parties. Screw it. (Runs to party).

Question 938: How can I stop Bill from eating all the sugar cube sandwiches?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Tell him that Al Gore is also at your party. Hey, can you pass the pickles?

Question 939: When does cheese smell like bar-b-q patater chips?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Gag) What a disgusting image.

Question 940: When do bar-b-q patater chips smell like cheese?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Stop that!

Question 941: Codie said jareds a prune.Why?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Obviously because Jared is nothing more then a giant grape.

Question 942: Why is ry**'s bro haunting us?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Who knows, maybe for those "bar-b-q patater chips."

Question 943: Will we ever see Kamek in another game?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, maybe if Nintendo is still making these goofy "remakes", he'll be back in Yoshi's Island Cubed.

Question 944: Is that the truth? I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, I lied! Lied I tell you! LIED! HAHAHAHA! Excuse me...

Question 945: Why did a two headed pig send me to an alternate dimension?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dang, I guess that means that Frizzy the Pig has escaped...

Question 946: How come,in super mario bros 2, I can take things out of pipes,but not back in them?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Shoddy programming on Nintendo's part. Come on, this game has a final boss whos a frog for crying out loud.

Question 947: Why don't koopa shells bounce off the wall in super mario bros 2, but in super mario advance they do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Again, Shoddy programming. But don't tell them I said so.

Question 948: If you, fred the spanyard, and prof. Executrain went to the same university,why are you a docter,executrain a professor,and fred a...uh...what is Fred exactly?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, you see, I didn't get all of my PhDs at the same school. I met Fred in Law School and I met that loser Executrain in Med School. Execu-bum is only a Professor because he bribed the school.

Question 949: How come, on tv shows, fake made up products are used instead of real name brand products?(example*-Dinaco instead of texico, Fizzy cola instead of pepsi cola, and Super pretendo instead of super nintendo- these names were all used on some show)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because they don't like to be sued. Whereas ANDROSS loves to be sued.

Question 950: Why do my shoes smell like baloney?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Besides the obvious answer?

Question 951: Can I borrow $3,547,876,543,356,788.25?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only for a second. There, your done. Give it back. All of it.

Question 952: Were did I hide the toast?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Munch) I donno... Pass the butter.

Question 953: Has my brain been fried?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only if you've tried to understand Jared's posts.

Question 954: Why is Brak so dumb?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because he's Brak.

Question 955: Can I have a cookie?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, but you can watch me eat mine.

Question 956: Can I have a cookie of ultimate death and evil.... err... evilness?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure. (Gives him a cookie that was soaked in the S.L.A.V.E.S. potion.)

Question 957: Um, Luigi is belly dancing on the donuts and Bill spiked the punch. Suggestions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Call 991. Ask for the NC Patrol. They'll know what to do.

Question 958: Why were you gone SOOO long?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I was on vacation in the Bahamas. Don't ask what I was doing.

Question 959: Are you [Dr.Donez]eVIl?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What? I don't get it.

Question 960: If I ate Jay, then who would be the NC master?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, if you ate Jay, then I would guess that would make you the NC Master, and my new boss.

Question 961: Why does Jay keep breaking up all the answers into several posts? Is he mad at the fact I passed him in post counts?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Who do I look like? Jay Resop? Sigh, I'll go ask him. (Comes back 10 minutes later) Jay was mad that I stabbed him with the Ice Pick before and beat me up. And he says that he can spams whenever he wants! I think he was high on Gummi Worms at the time.

Question 962: Why has Jay been double posting so much recently? is he possessed? (Glares at Codiekitty's brother)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...see the previous answer. But if you want to know a more accurate reason, Jay double posted in this topic because he was having problems when posting my answers and had to do them in parts.

Question 963: Am I Shy Guy 99?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well...Unless you're CodieKitty's brother...I would have to say that yes, you are SG99...

Question 964: You bidded for my soul! I want it back!
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, sorry. It's my soul now. It's very useful.

Question 965: Why is the smilie neglected?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Its because of a world wide smilie war that has lasted eons. Only the stronger smilies have survived.

Question 966: If I'm souless, How I can I ask you questions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, I already answered three of them, so I guess so.

Question 967: If Mario is a plumber.......Wouldn't he get fired for missing so much work becuase of saving Peach?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mario's a terrible plumber. He only stays in buisness because his Dad's rich.

Question 968: When will jay put metaknight in his comics?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Thats a good question. And this is a good answer. Soon.

Question 969: I am the emperor! What are you going to do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Overthrow you with my patented "Emperor-Overthrowing-Device-of-Doom." I should warn you, it's not legal in 48 states. I would just step down now while you can... It's very painful...

Question 970: Will Jay ever do a Deathmatch of you and Dr.Excutetrain(sp?)?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I hope so...I've been meaning to get that Execu-punk for some time now... By the way, the loser's name is spelt Prof. Executrain.

Question 971: Do you hate Mega Man?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only on weekends. But I've been trying to be nice to him. When I say I hate him, he comes over to my house and Mega-busters me. It hurts.

Question 972: Is the Sun going to become a Supernova in a billion years?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only if I plan things right.

Question 973: Can I borrow a lawn gnome?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure, but you can only use it to scare little kids.

Question 974: Which smilie is more neglected?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That one.

Question 975: How does Jay know about "Ursula"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He's a sad, sad, man.

Question 976: Why didn't this piece of tape start? I pressed the Fred button, so why isn't it working?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What? What tape? Am I in the right topic?

Question 977: Do I hate too barf on vomit?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...colorful.

Question 978: Was that question too sick?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Indeed.

Question 979: If so should I take you too the hospital?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That would be nice, thanks.

Question 980: Um....runs?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Now that was just stupid.

Question 981: Why is my brain fryed?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Didn't you already ask that?

Question 982: If you have 5 or so PhD's then how come you spell banana with an extra "n" and chaos with the "a" and the "o" switched?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because I'm not an Englitch major.

Question 983: Why did LVK put unsettling images of Luigi belly dancing in my head? AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hey, don't blame him. Luigi was the one belly dancing.

Question 984: Will you explain to me again, exactly, why the earth is banana-shaped?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Being an expert on Bananas, I would have to say that the Earth is Banana-shaped because of the Law of Stuff.

Question 985: And how can a five-ounce bird carry a one-pound coconut?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It could grip it by the husk.

Question 986: Can I have a piece of that toast?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No! It's mine! I havn't had breakfast yet!

Question 987: Why is Bigfoot in my garage, using the belt sander?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...people with Big Feet love to sand. It's part of mother nature, like why pigs love to dance to Irish Jigs.

Question 988: Is this my house?
Dr. Donez's Answer: If your typeing from it, then probably not. I'd get out of there if I were you.

Question 989: What would happen if I,well,... cut the orange wire on the oven?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The Orange Wire is the thing "they" put in your oven in order to monitor your every move and action in your house. If you cut the wire, "they" will found out. And "they" don't like when people cut the wire.

Question 990: Ummm, why is executrain drunkdley swinging from the chandelier holding a pepperoni stick?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That loser is probably just drunk off his rocker.

Question 991: Are you the real Dr. Donez? Or is Jay just using an Magic 8ball?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Of course I'm the real Dr. Donez! That's what it says in my underwear.

Question 992: WHY is my brain fried?I said is.Why?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...beacuse...what, I know you've already asked this.

Question 993: 2=6364534+yhfy7956-65786437266=574375656+57645645=?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...Hey, look over there. (Changes problem to 2+2=). 4.

Question 994: Why does SG99 and Me like the neglected smile so much?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because, I donno, what do I look like, a smilie expert?

Question 995: Why did Homer say my name so many times?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Maybe his keyboard is stunk on "SG99".

Question 996: The lawn gnome I borrowed blew up my house. How do I prevent that from happening again?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You have to set the setting on the bottom of the gnome from "Blow Up Your House" to "Blow Up Al Gore's House".

Question 997: Who would win in a fight? 100 Marios,The Sims or The Lemmings?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, the Lemmings would just walk off a cliff. The Sims are just drones. And the Marios are just stupid. So the winner would be me!

Question 998: Hey,this isn't the bathroom!WHERES THE BATHROOM!?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...third door on your left. No, not that door! That's the door to my secret files!!! Aw dang.

Question 999: Why don't you use your ice pick to take off your mask?I'm sure your Ice pick can cut trough super glue.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Cause that would hurt.

Question 1000: Hey, I met you on the NC Chatroom once,but how can you type without fingers?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Oh, I have my ways. Question 1000! Woo hoo!

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