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Ask Dr. Donez!

Ask Dr. Donez!



Question 701: Why am I a Metroid?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because your parents were Metroids?

Question 702: Is 2 plus 2 really 4?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, if you are in base 3, 2 plus 2 is equal to 11.

Question 703: Is the moon made out of cheese?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Just the parts I have eaten.

Question 704: Is the Metroid forum dead?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I wouldn't know, really.

Question 705: Is the color purple really red?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Fool! How did you find out!!! I will crush you if you reveal this secret! I mean. Um. No.

Question 706: What is the storyline for Metroid Prime?
Dr. Donez's Answer: There was a guy, who did this thing. Then he died.

Question 707: What Mario games has Jay never played?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Many, Do I have to list them here?

Question 708: What is the square root of my left sock?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Grapefruit extract. (Dr. D looks at the rest of Da Metroid's questions, has a heart attack). Next!

Question 709: It seams that people are growing to hate me. Is this true?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Have you been egging a lot cars? That would explain it.

Question 710: I like chicken. I like it a lot. I would like some roasted Donez under glass. Delicious Donez wings and thighs. And a juicy Donez breast. Mmmmmm. Would you hop into this pot, Doctor???
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...you scare me.

Question 711: what is that thing over threr?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A threr is over there.

Question 712: answer this in qeistion form:rayman
Dr. Donez's Answer: Who was the King of the World from 1997 to 1999?

Question 713: Wait... how can Respo and Resup be related if they have different last names?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Psyco-biogenetics. Either that or Jay is an idiot. But don't tell him I said that.

Question 714: Does Tingle from the Zelda games give me nightmares?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I know he gives ME nightmares. (Shutter).

Question 715: Why is Tingle so creepy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Grapefuit extract.

Question 716: Can I borrow some money? How about $387,128,374,182,738,947,873,821.01?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'll give you this 1 cent now, and the rest (runs).

Question 717: Why does Jay despise the Mario Party series?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mario Party killed his father.

Question 718: In Dr. Donez 6000, I can't get past the dumb Mario! I even have the strongest weapon, the Laser 500,(which is made of 20000 gigawatts) can't even hurt him!! I do have Luigi, but he can't do it either. What can I do???
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um, have you tried to use the Ultra Lazer Thing-a-ma-jig 450?

Question 719: Why am I stupid?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Obviously because you visit NC. Your name isn't Mario, is it?

Question 720: Is this topic getting stale?
Dr. Donez's Answer: God, I hope not. If I lose this job I lose my house.

Question 721: Mario broke into my house and at all the food while we were sleeping. He's currently stuck in our kitchen door. How do we get him out?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Bananna bread.

Question 722: Where did Fred the spanyard come from?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Span.

Question 723: Why do you wear a mask??
Dr. Donez's Answer: It's superglued on.

Question 724: Why is mario fat???
Dr. Donez's Answer: Bananna bread and Grapefruit Extract.

Question 725: Why is mario the famous one????
Dr. Donez's Answer: Stupid people are always the famous ones.

Question 726: Why doesn't nintendo make Luigi advance!!!?????
Dr. Donez's Answer: They're stupid.

Question 727: Why are you a doctor??????
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because I spent 10 years in a crazy medical school.

Question 728: Want some banana bread?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No! No bananna bread! Ie!

Question 729: Can you tell me how to get Mario out of my house again? He came in and ate all the food again, and tried to leave through the sliding door downstairs, and got stuck.(and the sliding door is open all the way too, he takes up the whole space.) HOW DO I GET HIM OUT?!?!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Try poking him with a very large stick. If he still doens't move, hit him with a 2 by 4.

Question 730: Can I have your autograph?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure, have a pen?

Question 731: No?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um, I said yes. Fine, I won't.

Question 732: I'm all out of banana bread, so could you spare an extra slice?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sorry, Wart ate all my bananna bread.

Question 733: Ever had banana bread pizza, Dr. Donez?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mmm...bananna bread pizza. Actually, no.

Question 734: What does D.O.N.E.Z. stand for(I know your name is an acronym!!!)?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Donez stands for Do Only Narf Every Zit. Stupid, eh?

Question 735: Dr. Donez, I heard you are wanting to rule the world. Well, I will let you have North America and South America if I can be a trusted servent of you. How about that?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hm...how do you propose that you will be able to sucsessfully deliver to me North AND South America?

Question 736: What's your favourite movie?
Dr. Donez's Answer: "Dr. Jykle and Mr. Hyde"

Question 737: What do you do with Reeesop's shoe?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Its sitting in my lab.

Question 738: When you say you want to rule the world, do you mean the real world, or The NC World?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Like I'm going to tell.

Question 739: Mario and Luigi look cooler when they wear black overrals and shoes that match their shirts...why don't they do it more often?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Bananna...oh forget it.

Question 740: What is your blood type?
Dr. Donez's Answer: ABO+-

Question 740: Favorite ice cream?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Vanella.

Question 741: On an episode of super mario bros. super show,a thing called a tweeter bat appeared.do you know anything about the tweeter bats?
Dr. Donez's Answer: In order to create the perfect female Tweeter for myself, I accidentally created the Tweeter Bat. Ok, so maybe I made that up. So sue me.

Question 742: If you are a Tweeter, then what is Bill?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The Extra Guy Bill? He's a Pidget.

Question 743: How do you post pics up on your replies?
Dr. Donez's Answer: First you pay Me, Dr. Donez, one hundred dollars. Then you just press the "Image" button at the bottom of your post screen and enter the URL of the image.

Question 744: Will Jay please post My SiteUp on NC?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Send him an e-mail. What do I look like? His butler???

Question 745: Why don't I post a lot anymore?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You finally found yourself a life?

Question 746: Can you do the Wario?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yeah, he even has his own song, like this.

Do, do, do, do do do, Do the Wario!
Steal some money, from store to store
Hey Look! Heres the cops! Do the Wario!
Take one step, then run like Hell
Lets do the Wario, all together now!

Question 747: How about the Wart?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah, Wart's a terrible dancer.

Question 748: Favorite song?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Do the Wart.

Question 749: Hey Dr. D! Just curious. Are you friends with Dr. Jekyll? What about Dr. Light? Dr. Wily? Dr. Doppler? Dr. Viper? Dr. Zhivago?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure, I'm buds with all of them. We meet up once a month at the Internation Convention of Doctors And Other People Who Are Smarter and More Intellegent Then You Are So Nah Nah We Rule And You Stink And So Go Run And Cry To Your Mommy Because We Have More Important Things To Do Like Controling The Universe And Ending World Hunger Although We'd Personally Rather Control The Universe Then End World Hunger Because Well We Rule Like That Plus Zogtar The Corrupt (All Hail Zogtar the Corrupt) Who Currently Rules The Universe Is Really Really Mean.

Question 750: How come on the SNES SMB2 the tweeters are pinkish white and red colored, but in super mario advanced, they are now white and orange(erm...at least i think thats orange...)? (which means you are colored right in this game :P)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Becaues Nintendo is stupid. Although don't tell them I said that or I'd lose my job.

Question 751: I'm using Luigi for the game right now, and i'm right by where you are, Dr.D. Now, should i hit you with a vegtible, throw you at a shyguy, throw you at a big shyguy, or just ride on your head? or would you rather i killed that first tweeter, since it had gotten the part of the first tweeter instead of you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes! Kill Tweeter Number 1! He is evil! Truely evil!!! And spare me. Please?

Question 752: Why are some of the shyguys so big in that game? Did they go to eat pasta with mario? or did they eat mario?
Dr. Donez's Answer: They ate Mario flavored Pasta.

Question 753: If i get some grapefruit extract, would i be able to rule the world?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only if you somehow killed me first.

Question 754: Would Citrus Man be mad if I took some grapefruit extract?
Dr. Donez's Answer: As long as you do so in the name of Justice and Vitamin C, he doesn't care.

Question 755: Where is the bannananananannananannanananananannanan tree?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Right over there, next to the stupastupastupastupid bush.

Question 756: What if I have the power to read women's minds?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Then I suguest that you write your own "Book of Love". Or at least help me out, man.

Question 757: Answer the following questions in the form of a question.
1.Mario Mario
2.Dr. Stewert
3.Mr. Dark
4.Tony Hawk
5.Hugh Baldwin
6.Honda Civic
Dr. Donez's Answer: 1. What is an idiot? 2. Who is someone who owes me 5 bucks? 3. Who is someone who owes me 10 bucks. 4. What is a game that I have never played? and 5. Whats the name of a person that I don't know who he is.

Question 758: What was your first feeling of 3D?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What? 3-D? I am unfamiliar with your term.

Question 759: Do you have a Game Boy Advance? If so, could I battle you in Super Mario Advance? F-Zero: Maximum Velovity? GT Advance Championship Racing?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sadly, Nintendo doesn't allow their characters to own their own Video Game systems. Them bums.

Question 760: Where is my atomico nuclearo super physics adjustion machine-a-ma-thing?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I didn't take it...I know that...Excellent! I now control the Atomico Nuclearo Super Physics Adjustion Machine-a-ma-thing! I will now be able to use this devise to talk to rats! World domination is imminant! Hahahaha! I mean, I don't know.

Question 761: Is my roommate (A Dunce) as stupid as he thinks he is?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Worse, he's stupider.

Question 762: Do you have a double A battery? A beezo ate mine, and I need to finish my world domination car.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Like hell you will. The world is mine I tell you! Mine! Wait, here's a Double A battery, you can have it.

Question 763: Why does my friend's friend have a stupid looking mowhawk (I know you don't know but what the heck)?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You're right, I don't know.

Question 764: Would you mind if my friend/enemy asked you a question?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes.

Question 765: Do you need help conquering the world?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, if you want to donate money to the Dr. Donez World Dominatioon fund, please, by all means.

Question 766: Are you really a Tweater?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What? A Sweater? Are you insane?

Question 767: Is Bill the Extra Guy really Bill the Pidget?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only off camera.

Question 768: Truth or Dare?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dare.

Question 769: How bad is it that Mario and freinds are throwing your cousins?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Its preatty bad. Although I don't care much for my Tweeter relitives, they all make fun of me anyway.

Question 770: Do you mind that I referred to you as Doctor Kevokinez in my "Mario 2 - 'Cause we weren't 'core enough" post? (I did say "with all due respect to Jay Resop", if it helps)
Dr. Donez's Answer: What?

Question 771: How come hot dogs come in packages of 10 when buns come in packages of 8?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Becuase hot dogs can't count.

Question 772: Oh yeah, and I forgot Dr. Cain, Dr. Jenifer and Dr. Murrow.
Dr. Donez's Answer: No you didn't. Ok, I lied. You did. Wait, that wasn't really a question, was it?

Question 773: It seams to me NC is getting down in the lives stock, is this true?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. Absolutely false.

Question 774: There has been lots of talk about NC slowly being killed off by the people its made for, is that true?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What?

Question 775: Iam I a cone head?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure. Knock yourself out.

Question 776: And next questions are Who farted?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You're scaring me.

Question 777: Who's I?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yous you.

Question 778: Do you work for Wart?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Not anymore.

Question 779: D'ya think Citrus man would be mad that o0fireball0o wrote 'Rapefruit'?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hahahah...Rapefruit...

Question 780: Why do cats constantly run into the room, run around the room, then dart out for no reason?
Dr. Donez's Answer: They like to run after invisable mice.

Question 781: Why does AOHell suck so much?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it was invented by Mario.

Question 782: Liver or Tuna?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What? To eat or to throw onto your neighbor's lawn in order to piss them off? Well, the answer to both would be Tuna.

Question 783: Do you need conclusive evidence o' your demise?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What's with the o'? I don't understand. You're confusing me!

Question 784: Why does "Bill and Fred's Mediocre Adventure" take place in Mario's stomach?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...Golem...you should lay off the drugs.

Question 785: Why doesn't Yoshi just eat Mario?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Probably because Yoshi likes to only eat healthy food, and nothing is worse to eat then a High-In-Fat-Mario.

Question 786: Will Gamecube 2 appear?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes. No. Exactly.

Question 787: Does Jay want his role in NC fame?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What does that question even mean?

Question 788: Do you have Lightning picks or Fire Picks?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nonono, just the Ice Pick. I don't use any of that fancy stuff.

Question 789: And do you pick your nose?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, but I bet you do.

Question 790: Why does Cranky call Mario Jumpman?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um, beacuse Mario used to be Jumpman in the good ol' days.

Question 791: I deafeted that evil, number 1, tweeter and spared you. I belive his name is Dr.Cortez and he said something about getting revenge on you...erm....he's gone for now. So does that mean you can now take over part of world since he's out of the way? or what?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No you didn't kill Tweeter Number 1, you only stunned him. That bum will never die...

Question 792: How will you rule the world? Does it envolve a banana, banana bread, and grapefruit extract?
Dr. Donez's Answer: WHO TOLD YOU!?!?!?! I mean...no.

Question 793: Who are you?Where are you?How are you?Why are you?What are you?When are you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The answer to all of your questions is the question to the previous answer.

Question 794: Are you on fire?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Why no, i don't think so. But I do smell smoke and...BURNT TWEETER! AHHH!!! I'M ON FIRE!!! Wait...no I'm not.

Question 795: CAN I PUT SOME WATER ON YOU SO THAT FIRE GOES OUT, DOC?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, that won't be needed.

Question 796: *picks up a bucket of gasoline by mistake and dumps on Dr. Donez* Ooops, ya hurt?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No...but I am wet...

Question 797: Punch or Kick?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, I like Hawaiian Punch, so sure.

Question 798: What would happen if Jay wrote a comix while he was drunk?
Dr. Donez's Answer: We'd have the Second Evil-Luigi Story.

Question 799: Some great news, we haven't moved yet, and I still have internet, I'm still here! Guess who I am, I won't tell you I am Bass, so guess?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, you can't be Bass, so I'll say Bass.

Question 800: Is this topic of Ask Dr. Dorknez dying? Or is it dead already?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No! It's not dead! And don't call me Dorknez!!!

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