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Ask Dr. Donez!

Ask Dr. Donez!



Question 1301: Will you ever get rid of that evil prof. spooky!?!?!?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...who?

Question 1302: If I am a genius, and my cat is smarter than me, what does that make my cat?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Friggen smart.

Question 1303: What does that make Alfador?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A name?

Question 1304: What does that make you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dr. Donez!

Question 1305: Why do people it the Peanuts show talk like this: Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It's an ancient language called "Stupidism." Few can speak it.

Question 1306: What am I under this Shy-Guy disguise?
Dr. Donez's Answer: 'Cause you left your wallet in the car?

Question 1307: If a pie is rolling down a hill at 60mph behind my house on Sunday with a barometric pressure of 30%, what color will my poop be?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That's disgusting.

Question 1308: Have you seen "Monkey bone" and if yes what do you think about it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, I havn't and Yes, I loved it.

Question 1309: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Dr. Donez's Answer: HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT MY SECRET LAIR!?!?!?!?!? I mean...um...well...next question...

Question 1310: Is cheese evil?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Boy, is it.

Question 1311: Can Bill microwave some pizza for us all to eat?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure thing. Bill, snap to it!

Question 1312: Are you only Dr.Donez on days that end with 'y'?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes, along with days that end in an "e".

Question 1313: Why did Fred steal $20 from me the other day?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He said he needed a new snow board.

Question 1314: Why?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Indeed.

Question 1315: Why not?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Exactly.

Question 1316: Are the pants ready now? I have my will. I left you my belt sander.
Dr. Donez's Answer: What pants?

Question 1317: Why do people keep asking "How do you get a sig?" It's getting annoying!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Maybe they just want a sig. Either that or some Mac an' Cheese.

Question 1318: With my powerful Elec Pick, and your amazing Ice Pick, we could run this world better than anyone coyld! What do you say?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hm...tempting.

Question 1319: (zaps Dr Donez with the Elec Pick again) Now talk! Please?
Dr. Donez's Answer: OW!!!!! Forget it! No deal!

Question 1320: Please state the following in the form of an answer.
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. Wait. This is an answer! Darn! I know, I will use a statement to condradict the fact that this sentence in an answer. This answer is not an answer. Excellent.

Question 1321: Will I tie your shoe?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You better not dare.

Question 1322: Will I die your shoe?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...ok.

Question 1323: Where does Michael Schumacher live?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Behind you.

Question 1324: King Lemming: How dare you say Papa Smurf would beat me in battle! I'm gonna injure you in some way. How would you like to be injured?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Oh, I'd like to see you try, KL. You are no match for the great, Dr. Donez!

Question 1325: When will you answer these?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Never.

Question 1326: By "Unprofessional help", do you mean hiring Fred as a pshychiatrist?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That's a good place to start. Try Bill next.

Question 1327: Is it true Agile and Jay had a chat on MIRC before NC went down?'
Dr. Donez's Answer: I guess so. Who do I look like? Jay Resop? Ask him!

Question 1328: Electric boogalo?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure...um...yeah. Stop smoking the drugs, son.

Question 1329: Do you find my sister attractive? If so, that's disgusting!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, only if your sister is that nice Tweeter that just moved in next door...

Question 1330: Does Jay hate me?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Probably not.

Question 1331: Does Jay hate you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Probably.

Question 1332: Do you hate me?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure. You are John Quincy Adams, right?

Question 1333: When I say I am someone with a head, do you take offense?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...yes.

Question 1334: What about when I say 7 is not a lucky number?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Good for the number 7.

Question 1335: Would you buy a bike if I took a bite from a pizza slice?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nope.

Question 1336: Do you like my signature?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I think John Hancock's is cooler.

Question 1337: Now that there has been ove 1,000 questions, are you tired of answering questions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What do you think? (Passes out).

Question 1338: Do you like green eggs and spam?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No I do not like them, Spam I Am.

Question 1339: Did Bill microwave that pizza yet?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah, I think he went to bed, that bum.

Question 1340: George Bush or Al Gore?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Al Bore.

Question 1341: What about that camera? The one that says..."Government Spy Cam". Is that supposed to be there?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...don't pay attencion to that.

Question 1342: I like those LEGO Bionicle toys, do you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...next.

Question 1343: Does Dodongo don't like smoke?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That's almost a question.

Question 1344: Are those GAP commercials getting on your nerves?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I plan on destroying GAP soon enough...then those painful ads will end...

Question 1345: What does Fred's parents look like?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Like Fred, but older.

Question 1346: X-box or Gamecube?
Dr. Donez's Answer: X^3.

Question 1347: KL: OK, I'll prove I can hurt you! ::casts Bolt 3, Ice 3, Fire 3, Meteor, and Ultima on Dr. Donez, then swats him over the horizon with his rod:: How did that feel?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hahaha, I've faced worse from Jay Respo on his day off!

Question 1348: To the real Dr. Donez, Fred, and Bill: Do you guys use stunt doubles in the dangerous shots of the NC comix?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Me and Bill don't. But Fred has one.

Question 1349: If Jay has no time to open an online store, why not get someone else to open it for him?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...well, I donno.

Question 1350: What the heck did you just say?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You heard me!

Question 1351: Why is everything big in Texas?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because everything is small in Vermont.

Question 1352: When will I finish my spinoff pokemon flash animation?
Dr. Donez's Answer: 2045?

Question 1353: What's your favorite animutation?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes.

Question 1354: How can a gardener plant 10 trees in 5 rows, having 4 trees in each row?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Magic beans.

Question 1355: Spam or Spam?(junk e-mail or the food?)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Super Spam.

Question 1356: Got Milk?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. I'm lactose intolerant.

Question 1357: Why is there a toy in my cereal box?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, it beats having a bear in your cereal box.

Question 1358: I have powers unlike you ever seen, would you like to see it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah.

Question 1359: Will the $100,000 pyramid ever show on tv again?
Dr. Donez's Answer: If God is willing, no.

Question 1360: What will become of Prof. Executrain?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hopefully he'll end up in a dumpster...

Question 1361: What does jay look like (makes ya think dont it?)
Dr. Donez's Answer: You don't want to know...

Question 1362: Are you absolutely, positively SURE you're really the REAL Dr. Donez, for REAL?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, if I'm not, I sure hope the real Dr. Donez didn't mind me eating his breakfast this morning.

Question 1363: Where's my sandwich?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, if it was an egg sandwich, I'm sorry, I had it for breakfast, Dr. Donez. If not, then how should know? Try under your bed.

Question 1364: Whatever happened to the Giant Dr. Donez in the Forest of Illusions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It's currently in the large warehouse where we keep old NC props, like the Giant Goomba from Evil-Luigi and Jay Reesop from Bill and Fred.

Question 1365: Can I have Phone's phone number?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yeah, it's 1-555-HOT-LOVN. Wait, that's my number. Nevermind.

Question 1366: If Miss Issippi took Miss Ouri's new jersey, why would Dela care?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Your poor state puns do not amuse or confuse me, State Pun Man!

Question 1367: Huh?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I asked the same thing about the last question.

Question 1368: Have you had your daily dose of stupid today?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, but I did have some Vitamin Stoopid, now with Extra Duh.

Question 1369: Who is uglier without a mask, you or Black Mage?
Dr. Donez's Answer: In a pathetic attempt to make me look better, the Black Mage.

Question 1370: Is Jay ever going to make a movie of Spencer eating a light bulb?
Dr. Donez's Answer: We'd have to take him out of his cell long enough to make the movie. But we'd have to be careful - he's a biter.

Question 1371: How about a movie of a lightbulb eating Spencer?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Would we really want to put a lightbulb through so much pain?

Question 1372: Could you explain to the newer members why nobody here likes Spencer?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Spencer sold poison to school children.

Question 1373: Who would win in a fight: Spiderman, or the Hulk?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um. I donno. I'll say Hulkman. He's the one that can shoot thunder out of his eyes, right?

Question 1374: Do you watch adult swim?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes, but only in the states were it's legal.

Question 1375: What?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I was going to ask you the same thing.

Question 1376: Who?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It is I...Dr. Donez!

Question 1377: Where?
Dr. Donez's Answer: To bed, where I'm going to go after answering these stupid questions.

Question 1378: If you could marry a Greek Goddess, which one would it be?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'd say Thor. What do you mean Thor isn't a Greek God? What do you mean Thor isn't a woman??? You lied to me, Thor! You lied to me!!!

Question 1379: If someone payed you 20 dollars in macaroni and cheese to yell out "FIRE!!" in a crowded theater, would you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only if I could use the mac and cheese to pay my bail after the cops arrested me.

Question 1380: Speaking of crowded theaters, did you ever see that movie "The Goonies"? Where the fat kid was talking about how he threw up in a cup, and went to the balcony of the theater and pretended to puke of the balcony, pouring the cup of barf all over everyone, and everyone started spewing all over each other? If someone paid you to wretch off a balcony like that, would you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Heck, I already did that after seeing the new Star Wars.

Question 1380: Why was Chrono Cross's plot retarded?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It was probably dropped to many times on its head as a kid.

Question 1381: Did you realize that you are a lifeline in the SMBHQ Chatroom version of Who wants to be a millionare (unofficially)?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I am? Really? I wonder why I havn't gotten any calls...

Question 1382: Where is my lemon pie?!
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Munch) I don't know.

Question 1383: Did Richard Simmons REALLY take over Disneyland?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sadly, yes. There's nothing you can do about it. Go to Disney World instead.

Question 1384: Would you dance the macarina in front of 80 rich people to get a plate of corn?
Dr. Donez's Answer: If it was yellow corn, sure. None of that white corn. That stuff sucks.

Question 1385: If I'm smart, and my best friend is an idiot, what does that make you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Over here.

Question 1386: Have you heard about the new ice picks with built-in laser pointers? (Stabby-Stabby!)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hm...I should really look into one of those the next time I face Executrain.

Question 1387: If Johnny is driving 35 miles and hour southbound to deliver a pizza to my house, and Jenny is driving 45 hours northbound to deliver my homework northbound to my house, who cares, where's my freaking pizza, and WHY ISNT MY HOMEWORK HERE YET?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mmm...yellow corn. Sorry. The answers are false, true and fresh pine smell.

Question 1388: How many socks?
Dr. Donez's Answer: CMLXXXII minus BAADED

Question 1389: Would you rather be burned alive on hot coals? Or be force-fed tofu until you burst?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'd rather be force-fed tofu until I burned alive.

Question 1390: Would you rather have a million dollars in sponges? Or conch shells?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Who are you, Regis?

Question 1391: Would you rather be burned to death? Or frozen to death?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Can I have them both happen to me at the same time, so they cancel out?

Question 1392: How many bricks does it take to frighten a camel?
Dr. Donez's Answer: ACC plus XVIII

Question 1393: If Zadok is a Colonel, and Magruder is a General, why exactly is Executrain a Professor?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Beats me. They're all a bunch of losers anyway. Executrain became a Professor just to spite me.

Question 1394: If you could have a piece of toast, RIGHT NOW, what would you put on it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yellow corn. Mmm...

Question 1395: Have you ever eaten an apple whole?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure. I am a bird. I eat a lot of crap whole.

Question 1396: Would you like to take a survey?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Silence, knave.

Question 1397: Where's my extra cheese pizza with pepperoni and meatballs?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Over there. (Runs) Sucker!

Question 1398: What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yellow corn.

Question 1399: What's your favorite Video game?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dr. Donez's Mathe Qwiz

Question 1400: Where is my house?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Gone. I sold it.

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