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GoombaBio

Goomba


Goomba Bio


Vital Stats:
Race: Mushroom (aka Fungus, aka Toadstool, aka Things That Go ďSquishĒ When Yoshi Steps On It)
Job: Koopa Troop Grunt
Gender: Asexual
Height: Smaller then our pal Toad
Weight: Who cares
Age: I donít know
Status: Some alive, and hiding, some being digested by Yoshi as we speak

Some 43 billion years before Mario made his first appearance on the Mushroom World, a good 13 billion years before dinosaurs like Yoshi and Rex showed up, and 10 million years after the first Fire Flower sprouted, there was fungus on the Mushroom World. Such simple creatures they were back then. They ate, reproduced, and breathed. Exciting life, so Iíll skip ahead. 42.9999 billion years later, the theories of a man named Darwin kicked into place (Catholics, donít send me nasty e-mails. Iím also Catholic). A group of Fungii call mushrooms started to evolve at great speeds. They grew legs, arms, mouths, and started to use their advantage to better the species. So due to Natural Selection, the other Fungii started to die off. WHAT A BORING BIO!!! ACK!!! THIS IS WORSE THEN MY BIOLOGY CLASS!!! So, for the rest of this bio, Iím only doing exciting stuff.
The Mushrooms shunned the Fungii for being dumber, and exiled them from their advanced cities. Bowser, who was also exiled (as I stated in his much more interesting bio), pitied them and used them for his first troops for his Super Happy Koopa Troop Fun Army of Death, Destruction, and Partying. When it got to America, it was changed to just the Koopa Troop. He led them to attack the Mushroom Kingdom in what was known as the Attack of Green Weird Things. This was before Luigi was around, so the mushrooms didnít stand a chance. Sure, some of then got lucky and fried some Goombas in their Microwave oven. And those lawnmowers came in handy, but it wasnít enough to handle the swarm of the Goombas, lead by Bowser. They only mushroom to fight back was Toad, who managed to pick off a few Goombas with his M-60, but the Goombas were hardly hurt by the bullets. They still came with parts of their body missing. He was captured with the princess, the only royalty to be around at the time of the attack. They put Bowser on the thrown, and were beaten later that week by Luigi and Mario. Now they are concidered wussy enemies by Nintendo Freaks of the World, and in a Poll of which was more fearful-an egg or a goomba, the goomba didnít stand a chance. Now, let us never speak of this biography again. Donít worry, next weeks I promice to be good. Iíll do Mushroom Kings or Smithy. This proves the fact that bios are difficult to accomplish on generic characters, at least on simple ones like goombas. I may try one on shy-guys or something like that later on.