Ask Dr. Donez!
Ask Dr. Donez!
Question 601: Who would win in a fight; you or Dexter?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dexter Day Lewis, the boxer? Can I use my Ice Pick or Deathzooka? If I can, then Dexter would probably still win.
Question 602: What are you afraid of? Pick your answer:
B. Prof. Executrain
C. Man-eating monkeys
D. Alcoholic clowns that eat mayonnaise on a stick
E. Falling cows
F. All of the above
Dr. Donez's Answer: A,B,C,D,E,F,G. H,I,J,K, L,M,N,O,P. Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z. Now I know my A,B,C's, next time... Er...sorry about that. My mind slipped for a second. I've been eating too much yellow corn. Anyway, I'm not afraid of Mario, since he's an idiot. I'm not afraid of Prof. Executrain, because I can beat him up on ANY day. Why would I be scared of man-eating monkeys? I'm not a man! I'm a bird! Although I'm kinda scared of Alcoholic clowns that eat mayonnaise on a stick. Who wouldn't? And falling cows are no laughing matter. SO STOP LAUGHING. So my answer would be F.
Question 603: There's this smart, friendly, hot girl a year older than me that I have a crush on, but I don't have a driver's license yet; what do I do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Show her that you like her by giving her mayonnaise on a stick. If that doesn't work, approach her, mumble a few things, and then run away really fast.
Question 604: In NC/SSS Mach 2 part 5, why did Lord Reid send Agent Diet Dr. Thunder? Agent Franken Berry would have been better!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Obviously you underestimate the true power of the Diet Dr. Thunder.
Question 605: How many spelling/grammar/punctuation errors have I made so far?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Beats me. Go to school, you bum.
Question 606: Does Jimmy get paid to crack corn?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He gets paid per corn he cracks. I wish I had that kind of sweet job... I get paid by the decade here.
Question 607: Does all our base belong to you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: ... We really need a secretary in here to screen out the lame questions. I wonder if Mario has any free time. That's the kind of mindless job he could handle.
Question 608: Why does the sign in NC Land say "No Marios"? Why do you guys hate Mario?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You're new here, aren't you?
Question 609: How come on the NC homepage, Jay put the Darth Vader theme song? It has nothing to do with NC.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Darth Vader has everything to do with NC. For you see...Darth Vader...IS MY FATHER.
Question 610: Ha HA! Dr. Donez, at long last we meet! I have been watching your every move on MY sectret camera, hidden away somewhere in your BOX of a home, and you think that you are such a big hot shot, because your swelling, bum-shaped brain is jam packed with soooooooo much stuff that not even Kings or Queens care about...Not that they care about anything much at all...They just rule things because people feel sorry for them...BUT, I will be ruler of the world, because I AM SMARTER THEN YOU! I KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS! CAPITAL LETTER ATTACK! CRUSH HIM! NO ONE HIGHER! NOTHING BETTER THEN PERFECTION! MY EVIL LAUGH TOPS YOURS, BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE!!! AH HA, HA, HA, HA, HA---*choke choke choke*...!!!!! HA!!!!................Now, if only I could remember my question...
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hello there! Well, I have a few ideas for how you can remember your question. I use this method all of the time when I forget something. First, go buy a hundred gallons of Hawaiian Punch. Second, play Mario Crash on the Virtual Boy for three straight days. And presto! You've remembered everything about everything. It's useful to use this method before tests, instead of studying.
Question 611: Alright, I'm gonna try not to do a mental question. You can do it Jimmy. Dr. Donez, can you-
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes.
Question 612: "Who am I?" I asked the stupid bird.
Dr. Donez's Answer: I don't give a cob of corn who you are.
Question 613: Is it-a Luigi time?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. It's never Luigi time. He never even registered his Gameboy.
Question 614: Why doesn't Jay get a life and stop making you answer all these horrible and stupid questions? Do you guys have anything going on beyond NC?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I've been asking myself the same thing for years... I have plenty of stuff to do besides NC. It's Jay who's keeping us here every day. FREE US, BOB! YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE! Er...your name is Bob, right?
Question 615: How come Crocker can make 2+2 equal fish?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because Crocker can do anything, as long as he believed in his heart.
Question 616: Can I submit a fan comic?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Never. Ever. No. Not a chance. Never in a billion million trillion infinite number of years plus one. OK, maybe.
Question 617: Why did you just recently answer a question that I sent several years ago?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because I'm just that cool.
Question 618: Hey dr donez i have my own rpg site, wanna c it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, I don't want to "c" it.
Question 619: Captain Churro sends his greetings with puppies!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um.......good for Captain Churro.
Question 620: Are you a Red Sox fan?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Never! People who wear red socks are not human, I tell you! They're monsters!
Question 621: Can you ride on your great-grandfather's motorcycle and scream WWWWEEEEEEE 3 times fast and 2 times slow in that order without eating your ice pick? Yes I know I have issues to deal with.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Do you have the early issues of Nintendo Power? The ones with those claymation pictures of Super Mario Bros. 2 on the cover? Those rock.
Question 622: Was everybody kong fu fightin or was it just you????
Dr. Donez's Answer: I would kong fu fight, but I'm not a donkey. I'm a bird.
Question 623: Can you ask me ten questions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: How about we do this instead. Simply go back to the old questions here, and pick out ten at random. Or just pick the last ten questions that were asked. I don't care. But then answer those. Knock yourself out.
Question 624: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck had one tooth?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dear Lord, we can't possibly have any more stupid wood chuck questions. Leave that poor wood chuck alone! What has he ever done to you, you monsters! You horrible red sock wearing freaks of nature!
Question 625: WHAT WOULD U DO IF U GOT CANCELLED
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hawaii.
Question 626: Tell me do like polly pocket and Mario marred?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um..........next!
Question 627: Yo dr. D Ben went out with larry who went out with casey who went out with Donna who went out with micky mouse who went out with you who went out with Stacy's mom who went out with Micheal jackson is this true ? Ps I am sorry it is long Ps answer my Question Or I will give you a Pikachu doll HAHAPs you hate pokemon I Know.
Dr. Donez's Answer: You are getting sleepy...verrrrrry sleepy. Stare at my pocket watch.......... Sleepy........ Drift away into sleep... Let your heavy, saggy, eyes close...... Rest your head.......... Good boy.... Sleep.....
Question 628: Is it true that if a boy kisses his elbow he turns into a girl and vice versa cause one time, I knew a female Dr. donez and I saw her kiss her elbow. Is this true?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Woah...
Question 629: To Dr. Donez
If you were mentally insane and starving, would you Dance like an Irish man and use the Ice Pick to destroy your glasses to make yourself look like a nerd for a French fry?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes....I guess I would do that. Good work. Here's a C.
Question 630: DR. DONEZ WILL U MARRY ME?- CAPTAIN CHURRO
Dr. Donez's Answer: Churro, go away. I already told you ten times. No!
Question 631: Captain Churro sends his greetings with puppies!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Where do you keep getting these puppies? Doesn't the humane society know about this???
Question 632: Is Dr. J better than Dr. D?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Maybe, but is Dr. J better than Jr. D?
Question 633: CAN SOMEONE ELSE ANSWER QUESTIONS I WANNA ASK BILL SOME QUESTIONS NOW
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. Only I, the great DR. DONEZ, may answer your questions. So tough.
Question 634: Hatamimasho?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A helloamunga to you too.
Question 635: Is it A,B,C, or D?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The answer to this question is quite complex. To start, I will begin by offering three points, and three counter points. First, it is highly unlikely that the cause of the Industrial Revolution was started by the beginnings of an alien invasion of Canadian cows. Second, who are you to judge the brave men who fought for their country during the great Taco Rebellion of 1874? And finally, yes, I do accept the nomination of Vice-Secretary of the Plant Food and Car Wash Alliance League.
Question 636: Everybody loves Raymond. Do YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Never. He's one of those red sock wearerers!
Question 637: Do u like captin churro (p.s. hes a boy)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Why, do you work for him?
Question 638: Fred's Deathly Deathray of Deathly Deathness is, without a doubt, very powerfull. Possibley the most powerfull attack at NC. So why doesn't he use it more often?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Beats me. Maybe he's forgetful. Or maybe just lazy. Or maybe he wants the challenge. Since it would be a pathetically easy fight if he just used the Deathly Deathray of Deathly Deathness all of the time. I mean, come on. What would be the point?
Question 639: Hey Dr. Donez! Did you master the Absoluteley Nothing move yet? What does it do? Is it powerfull? And what does Bill's The Extra Skill move do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes. I'm doing Absolutely Nothing right now. I am indeed a master of that move. It is very powerful. It inables me to do Absolutely Nothing whenever I want. You only wish you could behold such power.
Go back to NC
About the site
. All Rights Reserved. All content contained herein is property of SMBhq. SMBhq is in no way affiliated with
Nintendo Company Limited
Nintendo of America
, or any other mentioned companies. Super Mario Bros. and all character names are copyrights of Nintendo Co. Ltd.
More legal info
SMBhq is best viewed at 1024 x 768 resolution or higher.
Subscribe to feeds
About the Staff