FOR THE DATE OF April 29, 2006 Well, here are the real answers to the questions used the "Neglected Mailbag." Enjoy.

I don't have my instruction book anymore. Can anyone tell me which multiplayer option SMB3 requires? Can you download it from one player to another or do you each have to have a GamePak? - Doug Breon I'm presuming you are talking about the GBA version, which I have no experience with. The original NES version just uses 2 controllers. I'm assuming you're talking about the Game Boy Advance version of SMB3: Super Mario Advance 4. According to this list on Emuparadise.org, SMA4 requires only one cart for linked up multiplayer. And if you can't trust Emuparadise.org, who an you trust? Man, it's hard to come up with funny answers for these questions... I already used up all of my creativity answering these questions as NC Characters. Anything I say now will just be boring. Anyway, I can't answer your question, since I've never played SMB3 multiplayer, since I don't have any friends, since I smell like feet.-jay The multiplayer option SMB3 requires is 3 GB Micros, 2.5 DSs (Just break one into halves), and a Sega Saturn. Also, you'll need a mallard. It can't be any old duck; it must be a mallard. For the Mario Bros multiplayer you each need a game. The SMB3 multiplayer is done on one game -- you have to switch. SMB3 uses the GBA link cable, which requires you have each person to have a GamePak. Yup. That's all about it. I'm thinking you've both got to have a GamePak, although I'm not sure. I just bought a NES with some games off ebay. I have an older big screen tv and that is hooked up to a Direct TV box that is linked via a S-video cable and I also have a dvd player hooked up to the tv. The only thing I can get the NES to do is blink on and off with a blue screen. I am trying to use the standard rca patch cord to no avail. - Doc Smiff The problem is with the NES NOT the TV. Make sure the game is in correctly (my NES always requires some figiting to get the connection just right). This probably has nothing to do with the TV or the connection cables and everything to do with the pins that attach to the cartridge in the system. Classicgaming.com has agreat tutorial on how to try and remedy this problem. Editor's Note: Since the above tutorial involves taking apart the NES and may result in permanently damaging the system, please do it at your own risk. Wait until the Revolution comes out. Then you can play all of the NES games. Or just download a ROM. Those are nice and illigal.-jay A flashing blue screen means that your Nintendo was manufactured by Microsoft. This means you must mail it directly to Bill Gates, who will gladly service it for you, but not before you cram it full of dead squirrels. Crazy, I know, but that's how he does it. Since you're getting the blinking screen the problem is most likely the 72 pin connector. It or the games may require cleaning, or it may need to be replaced. Replacement parts can be bought for about $5 and are easy to install. That is a well known problem with side-loader NES things. They have pins in the slot which get stuck and stop working. The only way to fix this is to move those pins around so that they work again. My suggestion: Unplug the NES, get out a long, pointy object (a coat hanger, say) and poke, one by one, each of the pins. Also, make sure the NES carts have clean connectors. If all else fails, look for a reliable repair service, like what Nintendo can possibly do. I don't think it's a problem with the RCA cords, it sounds like what a NES does when it's old. One thing that I've done to try and bring it back to life is to tap the top of the NES (as long as it's not a top loading one) until it starts working. You might have to tap a little harder if it doesn't work, and one time I thumped a NES pretty hard and it started working, but I don't suggest you do that, since you did just get the NES and I doubt you'd be fond of thumping it. But just tapping it might get it to work. Good luck! My name is Bill Vallely, and I wrote several of the Super Mario Brother's comics you've reviewed. I have to admit, I'm amazed that people are still reading them. Thank you so much for the kind words. - Bill Vallely Well, thanks. Holy cow! That's amazing... an SMB comics author reading our site! We're glad you enjoy it, and thanks for your work. I hope the person who wrote the Super Mario World cartoons doesn't read my reviews for them...-jay I'm not quite sure which ones you mean, but if you mean the official ones that came out several years ago, kudos. If it was something else that is not Jay's or Shmorky's, go take a long ride on the Short Line. That's cool. I wonder which ones? You're welcome. Thanks for sending email to our site--we don't get too much in the way of correspondence from the authors of the content we describe, so it's a real treat to see you appreciate our work. Dear Bill, You are one of my heros. Thank you for writing those Super Mario Brother comics! -Peachfan Is Super Mario available as a PC game? - Stacey Sharpelletti Other than a few educational games, there are no, official, PC Mario games. Not legally. Google "emulator" Godspeed. Yeah, it's called ROMS.-jay Sorry. Too easy. NEXT! Not from Nintendo. You can emulate console games on your computer, or play fan games. Nope. Not at all. Some of the other correspondents might note a certain way to run it on a computer, but that's a bit... shady. Well, the original Super Mario isn't available as a PC game, but if you really can't live without Mario on your PC, there's always Mario Teaches Typing... Just bought a nintendo. Am trying to remember the name of the mario game that you moved him from world to world on the background of a big sand dune. Can you help? Christy SMB3? Sounds like Super Mario Bros. 3 to me... world 2 to be exact. It has been re-released for the Game Boy Advance as Super Mario Advance 4, if you don't have an NES any longer. No, I can't help. It's against my religion.-jay That would be "Super Mario 2 And A Half: The Great Big Sand Dune Map Adventure". I think it even has a Waluigi cameo. Sounds like World 2 of Super Mario Brothers 3. It's a NES game all right, though you'd probably have a hard time finding it. Make sure to read my answer to the second question if you have any trouble playing it, though. Super Mario Bros. 3. Sounds like Super Mario Bros. 3 to me! More specifically, the second land. SMBhq Staff, I was wondering where I can find that page that had the best Mario memory about the girl losing her virginity due to a bet she made over a Mario game. There was a direct link to it on the home page a couple of weeks ago, but I haven't been able to find it again since. I also haven't been able to spot it in the Memory archive. So could please tell me exactly where to find it or send me a copy of it because I really liked it. Thanks. By the way, if it isn't too much trouble, could you please respond to my e-mail directly as well as post the response on the site? Thanks again. Signed, DC ...no comment This page is hidden on the super-secret section of the page that is impossible to find unless you click on the logo. But because you asked for it specifically, here is a link Editor's Note: You don't have to be a genious to figure out that you have to be over 18 to click that link. If you're that desperate to read it, then find it on your own.-jay Um, awk-warrrrrrrrrrrd. That would be the Best Mario Memory Ever. You can find it on the not-so-secret page. It's not quite as hidden as you think. Click a certain picture on the main page and you'll see what I think. That's all I'll tell you, electrical... ice... rink? I know where it is! But it's a secret! :P You guys really need to update your merchandise page. There are so may Mario collectibles out there and you only have a small percentage of them. Your website is really good, but it could really use more merchandise. Also, you need more updates on new Mario collectibles. I need to know what's out there! -Kaptain Koopa It will be updated.....as soon as I move it to a subdirectory (#234 on the SMBHQ to-do list) Man, I used to love updating the merchandise page. Trollnig eBay for wacky stuff was always a blast (if time consuming). As for new Mario collectibles, they are mainly uninteresting shirts and plush figures, as far as I know. For more on this, check out a story I recently did on video game shirts for the Escapist. Make us, punk! That's right, you heard me! Bring it!-jay You know why there never seems to be any Mario collectables for sale? Kyle buys all the Mario stuff for his shrine, Jay buys all the Luigi stuff for HIS shrine, and Sean buys everything else because it gives meaning to his sad, sad existance. I'll write about any Mario collectibles you send me. Alas. We have but few slaves... err... people to update pages like that these days. As a result, many pages go outdated. They were often dealt with by Kyle Orland, too; but he doesn't have the time to update them anymore. But if you know so much, why don't you help us update it instead? Well, we are busy people here, so we can't always keep up on everything all the time, but we can try. Also, to try and find more new Mario collectibles... you could always check Ebay. (Ah, crap, I thought I'd be able to go through at least one mailbag without mentioning Ebay.) why don't mario and peach just get married? they're lovesick enough alone? AARON M. LANGLAIS Because then there would be no more games. The Mushroom Kingdom doesn't allow Princesses to marry plumbers, no matter how heroic. I think Mario is just after Peach for her money. He wants a sugar-momma.-jay That is one of the great mysteries of our time. I have often pondered this same query until I get distacted by something shiny. 42? Because, whenever they have time to so much as see one another, some maniac kidnaps Princess Peach! ...Or, on rare occasions, Mario/Luigi. So, yeah. It's like they've never been able to actually meet one another for more than 10 seconds. So.... marriage = no, at least as long as people are willing to steal entire castles to keep them apart. Yeah, I'd be happy if Peach and Mario got married. I mean, they came close in Mario RPG (if you got all her lost goodies in time in the Marrymore Chapel when she was supposed to marry Booster)... darn teasers. Hey, Jay/Sean? When are you going to finish up the Lord of the Wings? Just because the movie trilogy ended whenever ago and nobody cares about it anymore isn't any reason to stop. - Robert E Ryan Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's the story. Jay, being a person who has little time for NC these days, never got around to continuing the series. Me, on the other hand, slowly lost interested (and the laptop crash from last Fall killed all my sprites and backgrounds). Though, never threat, I have decided to continue the story, though in a reimagined sense. It will no longer be strict parody and, as a result, I will have more freedom for the plot. Look for part 5 within the next month or two. They'll finish it when water falls. Make us, punk! That's right, you heard me! Bring it!-jay I am not named Jay or Sean. Therefore, I am giving you a clueless answer: In 189373693 minutes or whenever Jay beats Chrono Trigger AND Final Fantasy 6 at the exact same time, whichever comes first. Five weeks, three days, four hours, two minutes, eight seconds from now. Give or take five years. Well, at this rate, I'm closer to finishing it for them then they are, methinks. They've got so much to do, that people like me with too much time feel tempted to help finish it for them. Too bad my humor's not the same... I am the captain of the carpet ship! Please tell me where the truly secret page is...please do it for all the confused mushroom kids out there! - Harold Asher I'd tell you.....but then I'd have to kill you. I'll never tell, unless I inadvertently tell in an earlier post in this very mailbag. Oops! Editor's Note: Kyle never revealed the location of the truly secret page (just the regular one). Yeah, it's called ROMS.-jay Woops, I copyed/pasted the wrong answer. Let me try that again... If you're that desperate to read it, then find it on your own.-jay There we go.-jay Mushroom kids? Are they anything like potheads? DON'T DO DRUGS KIDS. THEY ONLY LEAD TO HORRIBLE THINGS LIKE PLAYING MARIO IS MISSING OR FITTY CENT GAMES. Sure, here it is: The TRULY SECRET PAGE. Editor's Note: No it's not Being the privileged owner of knowledge of where that page is, I'm going to pull a page out of the Mushroom King's book. Yo yo! I'm never telling ya, confused mushroom dude! This information is mine, you heah? Go find yourself some homogeneous exploding x-rays to keep to yourself! Hahahah, this is the second secret page reference in this mailbag! I'm not telling anyone anything.

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