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Know Your Friends

     Where would we be without our friends? Personally, I know I'd be lying half naked and starving in a ditch if not for my friends. I also know that Mario owes a lot to his friends. Unfortunately, most people down know Mario's helpers from their own behinds, as shown by this e-mail I received recently

     Dear Mr. O. R. Land
Hi, I love your site. I came across it when looking for a Mario Lemiux statistics web page. Anyway, I was wondering who this princess person you keep mentioning is. I played through every single Mario game 95% of the way, and I've never seen any princess. Please tell me who you are talking about, or I will go quite mad.
- Mr. E. Man

P.S. You should put a link to some Mario Lemiux sites on your links page.

As you can see, many people can be very well-versed in Mario playing, but still not recognize the princess (I guess Mr. E. Man missed her at the beginning of SMRPG). Anyway, here's a refresher course on the (few) characters that DON'T try to kill Mario.

Da Gals

Name: Pauline
Game(s): DK, DK94
Her Role: Helpless captive of a big King Kong look-alike
Unique features: The only girl in the Mario universe with a ripped red dress.
Quote: "Help!"
Where are they now: Pauline now lives in a trailer park and recently spent the night dead-drunk in a ditch

Name: Princess Peach Toadstool
Game(s): A whole lot of 'em
Her Role: Helpless captive of a big evil turtle, and cool floaty jumper in SMB2
Unique features: The only Mario character that tastes Peachy (ask Belome from SMRPG)
Quotes: "Help!" "Come on, let's bake a big cake... for Mario!"
Where are they now: Peach currently resides in the castle of the Mushroom Kingdom where she... wait... what's that outside... it's Bowser! Not again!

Name: Daisy
Game(s): SML
Her Role: Helpless captive of a big alien thingy.
Unique features: The only character to ever turn into a spider. Wait a minute... that wasn't Daisy at all, was it?! That crafty Tatanga!
Quote: "Thank you, Mario"
Where are they now: After being rescued, Daisy pushed Mario out the door of the sky pop and flew to Tijuana to avoid legal problems in Sarasaland.

Da guys

Name: Luigi
Game(s): Not much recently. Also the putrid Mario is Missing
His Role: The eternal understudy
Unique features: Most people don't know that Luigi actually has green blood.
Quote: "I'm-a-Luigi.... #1"
Where are they now: Luigi has parted ways with Mario to start a solo career. He now headlines at the Las Vegas Ceaser's Palace 6 times a week. The brothers only reunite for the occasional board game or charity tennis tournament

Name: Toad
Game(s): Everywhere, although you hardly notice him, do ya.
His Role: Gives you worthless items, and occasionally an encouraging word or two.
Unique features: The only Mario character with exactly 12,749 identical twins
Quote: "Wa Ha!"
Where are they now: Toad is currently seeking a SW&RM (Single White & Red Mushroom) who enjoys romantic strolls on the beach, reading poetry by candlelight, and snuggling till dawn.

Name: Yoshi
Game(s): SMW, YI, SM64, 10 tons of cameos
His Role: Hauls around Mario's heavy butt on his back... whatta nice guy.
Unique features: Really has a very advanced vocabulary; Says "Yoshi!" all the time because he "doesn't want to seem like a nerd"
Quote: "Yoshi!"
Where are they now: Yoshi whiles away his autumn years on Y'oster Isle, where he sits on the edge of the pool by the shuffleboard courts with a lemonade in his hand. He enjoys watching the world go by. (You see, dinosaurs are old... it's a joke. Ha?!)

The ever-popular POP QUIZ

1)Where would you be without your friends?
2)What's the URL of a good Mario Lemiux site?
3)What can you do to not end up like Pauline? (Hint: Get a job)
4)Have you seen Luigi's Las Vegas show?
5)Why do old dinosaurs like shuffleboard so much anyway?
Answers next week
For more on characters, got to NC About the site. All Rights Reserved. All content contained herein is property of SMBhq. SMBhq is in no way affiliated with Nintendo Company Limited, Nintendo of America, or any other mentioned companies. Super Mario Bros. and all character names are copyrights of Nintendo Co. Ltd. More legal info. Privacy Statement.
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