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Know Your Enemies

    Most enemies are nothing more than a minor hindrance in Mario games. Yet some players have problems getting around even the most insignifigant baddies. Take this chilling example. Dear Nintendo,
    I think your game Super Mario Bros. sucks. There are way too many of those little radioactive brown guys. I try to jump over all of them, and I hit them with fireballs when I can, but sometimes I just run into them and there's nothing I can do. Is there any other way to get rid of these annoying pests?
-Stu Pid Idiot


    Of course those of you that are sane and have the intelligence of brocolli are asking why he didn't just JUMP on the "little grown things". Alas, many do not know that it's that simple. Here's some help on basic enemies for those ignorant fools.

Goomba
Also Known As: "Shoe stain", "Brown lump with eyes", "The goomb-man"
Looks like: A weird brown trapezoid (or circle) with eyes and feet
Associated with: His cousins, which wave wings, are very small, are trapped in bubbles, etc.
Kill it by: Just looking at a goomba is known to kill it. Otherwise, jump, fireball, tail, cape, hit from under, punch, kick, ground pound, watermelon seed, etc.
Avoid it by: Uhhh, jump.
Secret attacks: Goomba's lull you into a false sense of security so that you will forget to do anything and just stupidly run into them. Don't fall for it! Take them very seriously! Pay attention!

Koopa Troopa Also Known As: "Turtle", "Troopa", "The Koopster"
Looks Like: Your pet snapping turle... when you're on an acidtrip (Note: SMBHQ does not promote drug use)
Associated with: His crimson, amethyst, and sierra colored cousins. Also found with wings, giant, etc.
Kill it by: Fire and ice will outright kill it. Otherwise it'll just hide in it's nigh indestructible shell, or pop out of it. Run away before he comes back out! Oh no! AIEEEEE!
Avoid it by: Uhhh, jump
Secret Attacks: Never, EVER jump on an empty shell. Chance are it will ricochet back towards you at sub-light speed and kill you.

Hammer Brothers
Also Known As: "Hammer Bros.", "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", "Da Bruddahs"
Looks Like: You're Uncle Stan after one too many undercooked shrimp (Very green and hunched over slightly)
Associated with: His fatter, reder, and Australian alter egos
Kill it by: Jump on it's head (carefully), fireball, knock it from under, tell him he's ugly (Hammer Bros. are sensitive.)
Avoid it by: Uhhhh, jump. OR run under it!
Secret attacks: Hammer Bros. can fall on you! They actually move through solid brick and jump down on your heads! It isn't fun, is it?

Bullet Bill
Also Known As: "Billy Bullet", "The Bill-ster", "Pop a cap in your @$$"
Looks like: A big black bowlthat someone drew a white face one.
Associated with: His angry, homnig missle cousin.
Kill it by: Jumping on it's head (is that it's head?) or duck, causing it to fly by and into oblivion.
Avoid it by: Uhhhh, hjump. OR duck.
Secret Attacks: Bullet Bills can travel vertically if they want to. Look out!

Cheep Cheep
Also Known As: "Fish", "Stupid Fish", "Damn Fish"
Looks Like: A fish
Associated with: The other fish
Kill it by: use a fishin po- OK, enough of the fish stuff. Use a fireball of a cape.
Avoid it by: Uhhhh, swim (you thought I'd say jump, didn't ya?)
Secret Attacks: Cheep Cheeps can jump onto the shore and FLOP AROUND ON THE GROUND! AIEEEEEEE!

Hope this helps.

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