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Know your Mascot

     Believe it or not, not every visitor to my web page is a Mario fan. Many of my visitors are people who hate Mario, and want to send me angry e-mail. Others are bored college kids who aren't really interested in Mario, but just have nothing better to do. Larger than both of these groups combined, however, is the group of people who visit my site looking for information on other mascots. Take the following e-mail as an example:

     Dr. Mr. Land
Hi. I was searching the web recently and typed in "Video Game Mascot" into Yahoo!, looking for information on everyone's favorite video game mascot, Aero the Acrobat! I came across your site in my searching. Could you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaze send me some pictures and sounds of Aero? Thanks!
-Wit E. Name


As I've been forced to tell Mr. Name and countless others who write me, this is strictly a Super Mario Bros. site. I do not have pictures of Aero or any other mascots. You'd think that seeing the pictures of Mario on the front page would set something off in these people brains, but obviously they can not tell one mascot from another. As a service to these people I post these mascot bios, so the more easily confused of you can tell them apart from Mario. This is the first and last you will here of any of these mascots on this site. Hopefully it is also the last I will hear of them from my readers.

Sonic the Hedgehog
Company: Sega
Looks Like: A pin cushion gone bad
Stars in: Sonic Cooking Challenge, Sonic's Bad Fur Day, Sonic Rips Off Mario Yet Again (tm)
Similarities to Mario: Big nose, white gloves, huge eyes
How to tell them apart: If you're traveling fast, it's probably a Sonic game. If you're actually challenged, it's a Mario game.

Crash Bandicoot
Company: Sony/Naughty Dog
Looks Like: A mutant orange traffic cone. With shorts!
Stars in: Crash Landing, Crash Of Rhinos, Crash Into Me*
Similarities to Mario: Uh, they both jump? Oh, and they both wear goofy blue pants.
How to tell them apart: If it's orange, it's Crash. Or it could be fiery Mario. Or it could be an traffic cone. But it's probably just Crash

Bonk
Company: NEC (Turbo-Grafx 16)
Looks Like: A Mount Rushmore head placed on a normal sized body. In a tunic!
Stars in: Bonk on the Head, Bonk the Rappa, Air Zonk (I'm not making up that last one)
Similarities to Mario: Looks a lot like Baby Mario, but without Yoshi
How to tell them apart: Look at the sysem you're playing the game on. If it's a crappy system, chance are you're playing as Bonk.

Pac-Man
Company: Namco
Looks Like: A yummy cheese pizza. Mmmm, pizza.
Stars in: Pac-mantis, Pac to the Future, 2-Pac Shakur (
Similarities to Mario: Um, both of them have heads?
How to tell them apart: Does Mario look like a big yellow disc? Then he's not Mario! He's Pac-man!

Kirby
Company: HAL
Looks Like: A marshmallow spray painted pink.
Stars in: Kirby's Magical Mystery Tour, Kirby Teaches Typing, Kirby in 2D... Again!
Similarities to Mario: They both have eyes
How to tell them apart: If your character is swallowing enemies, then it's Kirby, not Mario. Either that or you need to get some sleep.

*-Later covered by Dave Matthews Band

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