Question Set #2
Dah King's Bag O' Nice Tries 16-30
Somehow I just don't want to believe that you guys have all this time to waste on me? Day after day (four in total), and even hour after hour, the constant bombardment of messages accumulated in my inbox is unimaginable! But I guess that what I asked for right? Yeah, but with the questions getting tougher and rougher every damn five hours; keeping up on them isn't the biggest of my priorities, it's racking across my brain for the answers that's the hard part! Easy was what I was expecting for say... maybe the first couple of months, but obviously everyone of you out there has more to prove than I could have ever thought of! Nevertheless, forget my cranky blabbering, I'll just have to deal with it, keep the questions flying, and to the same respects, I'll keep on putting up with em' long enough to care!
Speaking of caring, I have two emails; both from Martins, particularly of the Brett and Jeremy varieties, send me failure deliveries. I can only assume, since I haven't really met your guy's acquaintance, that these were Mario questions for me to answer. If they were of any importance to you, would ya mind resending them back to me for starters? Hey, sorry for the shout out, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging if the questions were exceptionally good! Thank you!
-Mushie-Mush
Now once again, on with the mail...
Email 16
“In Donkey Kong 3, who replaced Mario as the hero?”
-Andrevan
Cracking his knuckles in fear: Mario (AKA Jumpman) took his absence of leave in DK3 (intentional rhyme) due to the quirky, yet effective, exterminator “Stanley the Bugman”. The game was horribly disproportionate to the rest of the seris, and its existence is the biggest debacle since the whole space-time continuum showed up! Cameo's are the only Mario related stats here, but to be brutally honest, Mario doesn't deserve a quick spot in a game like this; his reputation fairs him far better!
Email 17
(Another longer than long, multiple-question write-in!)
“What is the first Mario game featuring zero as a playable life?”
“What is the maximum number of lives that can be obtained in SMB3?”
“How many castle secret stars are there in SM64”
“Which Mario Kart driver was replaced by Wario in MK64?”
“What, exactly is a “Goomba”?
-Edward Kolis
Gearing up for the long haul: Ironically the answer to the first question can be found at the end of the second question, strange? Didn't get it yet? It's SMB3, and the max lives you can get out of it are ninety in all. Switching subjects, fifteen secret stars are randomly and not so randomly scattered throughout Peach's Castle in Mario 64. Bum-rushing Koopa Troopa with his Bull Hat, Wario held down his role as eighth driver in MK64. More subject changes permeate, Goomba's are most commonly referred to as Mushroom-like creatures that work for Bowser, no one has the slightest (factual) basis as to what a goomba could possibly be, call up NOA!
Email 18
“What is Mario's middle name?”
“If you know that, then what school did he go to?”
-Erik Simpson
Devious grin from the king: Seeing as Mario's “not” real by the most average person's standards, it's virtually impossible for him to carry an “in between” name without somebody having made it up! Preferably from the likes of Shigeru Miaymoto, and his crack team of eager Big N veteran designers, which if Mario had a middle name, they'd be the one's responsible for it! Get where I'm going here, Erik? Mario has no laid-down middle name for the time being; if you want to change that, hark up Nintendo's good little angels. The exact same can be said in account for his education, come on, how gullible do you think I am? (Can't say anything bad about the father of Mario right?)
Email 19
(More freaking notes: Alert! Alert! Evacuate the Q&A section you're reading now! Horribly exhausting, eighteen question mail coming straight ahead! Follow drill instructions, watch for flames... they burn... ah!)
1. “What kind of Koopa is Bowser, his species anyway?”
2. “What kinds of relationship do Wario and Waluigi share?”
3. “How many species of Koopa's are there (you have to name them)?”
4. “How many times has Mario beat Wario?”
5. “Is Mario really in Mike Tyson's Punch Out?”
6. “Name every species of chomp, and the game they're from. If they're only found in one level, name it?”
7. “Could Mario really beat Bowser on an open playing field, without allies, magic, items, or power up's?”
8. “How did Mario first hear of the Mushroom Kingdom?”
9. “ Why was Wario leaving a city in Wario Land 4, when he had a castle in Wario Land 2?”
10. “What happened to Captain Syrup from Wario Land 2?”
11. “Whatever happened to Captain Johnny, Belome, Croco, Mallow, and Geno from Super Mario RPG?”
12. “Whatever happened to Tatanga after his defeat in the Space Zone of SML2: Legend of the six coins?”
13. “Whatever happened to Mario's land (the land he owns, not an amusement park)?”
14. “What kind of Koopa is Giga Bowser? (Don't use the same answer from #1)”
15. “Why doesn't Bowser just combine his greatest plans together?”
16. “Whatever happened to the Koopalings (they're not dead after SMW, because they're in Yoshi's Safari)?”
17. “What will ultimately happen to Wario, Mario, and Bowser?”
18. “What does Wario do with his treasure from his games?”
-Ivie Slocomb (AKA B.W.M)
They're Done, thank you Lord! Go praise to the highest mountain of carpal tunnel syndrome!
Page full of explaining: Looks like this one far too long for my standard paragraph, so I have no choice but to answer number by number! Why?! Because I like you; that's who!
1. Bowser is a genetic cross between a turtle and a dragon, making him (just as with the others) a Koopa! But we already knew that, and sorrowfully that's all we know to this point! The cross thing is all I can inform you upon, because quite honestly no one has ever found out from that infinitely magical place, NOA! Check with them, it's uncertain right about now!
2. In the NP comics it claims that Wario is a big bully in his relationship to Mario, so vice-versa, Waluigi works the same way towards Luigi. Now, for Wario and Waluigi, you'd imagine them being friends or altered twins? Seriously though, I can't loyally answer a question without any confirmed answer, but it's my best guess! Prove me wrong?
3. Koopa Troopa, Para Troopa, Giant Koopa Troopa, Chubby Koopa Troopa, Super Troopa (not to be confused with the lame-o movie), Troopa, Giant Para Troopa , Chubby Para Troopa, and Magikoopa, (count in the Koopa Kids and Bowser if you want) for a grand total of 9 without bosses added, and 17 with all the kids and Bowser thrown in!
4. As many times as you've beaten SML2, Mario vs. Wario (unlikely), possibly MK64, Mario Golf, Tennis, the three MP games... I could go on! Just remember, his success depends on you!
5. Yes, yes, yes! Mario is the for the last god darn, rear spanking, punch a flying retard in the face time, referee in Iron Mike's classic NES smash fest! It's been notified countless times since the early 90's, how many more lessons must I discipline you people upon!
6. Chain Chomp, Giant Chomp, Fire Chomp, and Chomp-Chomp. Chain Chomp comes in all generic positions and locations, spotted first in SMB3 on course 5 in World 2: Desert Hill. Giant Chomp comes from M64, appearing in the beginning stage, Bomb omb's Battlefield. Fire Chomp too comes from SMB3, but spreads out more rare in levels such as 5-2, 5-9, and 6-3. Finally Chomp-Chomp is the screen sized behemoth chomp villain who chases after Yoshi in SMW2, and crushes the ground he pounds through, leaving an open pit.
7. Less than likely, if Mario is going at it in sere mortal form! Maybe with a Mushroom in his corner to even the size gap, but all alone Bowser's stature would cause far too much havoc for the diminutive wipper snapper to handle (sorry Mario)!
8. According to the SMB Super Show, Mario and Luigi were just going about their business as plumbers, fixing up leaking or clogged drainpipes, when suddenly they were sucked through a bathtub drain into the Mushroom Kingdom! Prior notice wasn't necessarily needed!
9. Did he now? Refer back to answer #4, would he have a castle if you didn't collect enough coins or booty to buy it off the genie? Hmmm... answering the question would go somewhat like this: he's greedy, bottom line! No matter how prosperous he becomes, too much is never enough in Wario's eyes, robbing city!
10. She lost her castle and stolen possessions (cough a statue of the princess) due to Wario! That's exactly how it went, and goes!
11. Super Mario RPG single handedly revived the sport of neglected character research (giving props to Jay), but they ain't called neglected characters for nothing you know? I can safely say Johnny went back to his humble abode, snug down tight in S.S. Barnacle with his fellow pirate sharks. Belome's too edgy; going back to the Kero Sewers might be the surest bet, or his Temple at best? Mallow... oh yeah... duh? He went on to rule as the prince of Nimbus land, eventually prime and able to take the throne during King Nimbus' death. Croco, having gone happy on the party, toting around items in Bowser's Keep, logically would begin his own business in Monstro Town or dare I even say the Mushroom Kingdom! Geno vanquished above the heavens again, keeping Star Road in order, so look around in SMW enough, who knows you might find him hiding?
12. Tatanga, wow, and outside of Wart he has to be the single most neglected character on the Mario block! Good question though, because not too many people really care about him enough to ask, you're one kind-hearted fellow! Ever seen space truckers before, Ivie? You definitely should, coming to me with this inquiry! I could have been dead swearing that the intergalactic Venus dweller in his own private space buggy was indeed Tatanga! So... I guess you just need alittle R & R, and a big bag of Frito lays to map out this one!
13. What in the hell do you mean? THERE'S ACTUALLY A MARIO THEME PARK! Screw the SML question, how soon can I get there? Any hotels near by accepting open tickets? You can come to, as long as you give me directions! (Constipated grin) What about Cheep-cheep Island, it is really there? No you say? Oh, I see, this is the whole Magic Kingdom-Mushroom Kingdom conversion thing here, metric by any chance? Whew, Mr. Mushie-Mush needs a break, big time on a wet water ride (hold the Jelectro's please)!
14. Why can't I use the same answer twice, when they both are the darn tootin' same thing? Giga Bowser really is nothing more than Bowser magnified to say... the quadruple degree, so the only original response here would have to be made up!
15. We talking Tony the Tiger great, kid? Hope to hell were not, none of his plans were close to being great from the start! Derrr... Kidnap an innocent woman, and expect a motley crew of bumbling freaks to protect his evil ways, by hindering the path of America's favorite hero, Mario! My god, combining them into some far out twisted batch of goofiness would be worse than what he has right now! Crazy, crazy notion that scrambles the egg you call a brain!
16. Sticker books, baby, that's where it's at! Don't tell me you've never seen a frail, meager, newborn baby suffering from a pre life crisis, drool all over a nicely purty picture of Larry Koopa! Somehow kids just love this kind of stuff? Punch out a sticker, and wham it over a dotted line shaped exactly identical, fun in a sense, but where's the challenge? I've been at this hobby for more than a decade, and it gets easier every time! In fact, to this very day (March 11), my two-month-old nephew and me have a collection of over two “stickie” books based on all or one of the Koopalings! Think about how many sit-ups Roy Jr. had to do to get his ugly stomach in shape for a photo shoot? Buy one, while they're still not in demand!
17. Miss Cleo, Miss Cleo; come out come out where ever you are? Damn, no sign, guess I'm at it alone once again! Help me find her? She's about the only one who can pin this foreshadowed anomaly down! (Grumble... fine I'll just pull it out of the hat; she'll never know... ha) Mario will go on to be like Boy George with an accent, breaking in to the film biz with the starring role in the greatest cross-dressing film since Tootsie! Wario will take over Mario spot, handling all the nuptial agreements passed down due to Mario and Peach's divorce settlement. Bowser fits in as the director of the film, the position all angry heathens end up with sooner or later! (Take a look a Rob Reiner, what a Meathead!) And so the story begins!
18. Treasure can be bartered around for money, and in turn money is usually used to buy something! Wario needs this cycle to survive independently without psychotic ramifications! Generally we call these people kleptomaniacs, but in his case it's more polite to point it out as sweet! He really doesn't need a reason to steal, because it's in his blood, he needs to thieve as part of his complex addiction! If he's not stashing it for “never”, then he's stealing for no cause at all! Diagnosis=Sweet to the extent of shoplifting gummy bears in front of a cop!
And finally, we're finished... hopefully... for a long time!
Email 20
“Why does Mario wear a hat?”
“Why does he sport a mustache?”
-Godspeedflash
Cigarette after the real bed brawl: Spending some time with M64 (if you know what that is), anyone who calls themselves a follower of Mario knows what happens when you loose your hat! Mario's defense rapidly declines, putting him in a much greater role of vulnerability against all foes. Without his hat he'd surely croak, sounds like a good enough reason to wear a cap right? The mustache thing spans heredity issues, rather good ol' self-defense. As you should know, Mario's Italian, and all bambinos yonder there wear their face pubes long n' proud! So the jist of the matter is that Mario carries the caterpillar under his nose wide and heavy to give “mad propz” to his cultural basis! Yeah, after 9/11, the world needs a few more people like him (don't take offense since he's not American, I had no intentions of insulting your patriotism... yet).
:
Email 21
“Name one mini game from MP (Mario Party) that was rehashed on through to MP2, but with a different name?”
“Have much HP does Smelter have at the end of MaRPGio?”
“What are the names of the heads Smithy alternates around in his second form, and how many does that total in all?”
-KirbytheKirby
Did you think this was good enough: MP2, regardless of how much improvement abounds, cantankerously left behind some loose ends from the ill-bitten days of it's prequel. Off the top of my head, the best example of this would be the mini game Bobsled Run. Why did it have to be so boring? Smithy's molten metal spewing helpie-helper weighs in at a far-fetched 1,600 hit points. Taking out him and Smithy's external forms would bring you to the final battle itself, the mechanical side of the once breaded freak! Rotating back and forth in short intervals, Smithy transforms between four heads: A Tank, Wizard (common name= bird), mailbox, and a blue hexagon. Better luck never!
Email 22
“What is the new name for Mario Sunshine?”
-GiovBrn
Please, I hope your not trying to act smart: Creditable sites high n' low have been announcing for the past few days that NOA has stamped a much awaited, and quite frankly drooled over, release date pertaining to “Super” Mario Sunshine! With that said, your answer is August 26 being the SUPER Mario Sunshine release date. Pray that cleared the mess up, padre (whaaaa haaa haaa haa ha ha)!
Email 23
“What year did Mario appear in times 1000, minus 2, divided by three? Then subtract the year Luigi's first game appeared; multiplied by the first year Bowser appeared. And lastly divide that by two (Please do this without a calculator).”
-WolfenGUY91
Getting his geek on: Pen-check, paper-check, brain-on delivery? Time to get down to the nitty-gritty! 1982 times 1000 is 1982000, slice off a mere 2 in the ones spot, 1981998 watcha end up with. (Ripping another page out) Cut 1981998 into three equally thick chucks leaves me with 660666. Solved last update, Luigi's first center part was in Mario is Missing, which hit the stores 9 years ago in 1993, subtract that. Bowser landed his premiere act in SMB along side the NES' 1985 debut, (giving in to the Code Red's temptation, DJ Funk master Fungi swigs himself a break). Snap the kitten caboodle by half, and (drum roll please)... the grand sum amounts to 653732952.5! Damn my oversized fingers, now the equal button's all stiffed up! Oh, he he he... I sketched a calculator on the paper to pretend that it helped me (shut up big mouth)!
Email 24
“Where on the internet can I find high quality Donkey Kong Country sprites?”
-Aaron Macdonald (AKA Darkstar)
Rubbing down his crown with scented furniture polish (among other things): Game Sprites dot.com rings a crater size bell, as does the obscurely resourceful Shyguy Kingdom (http:// supershyguy.tripod.com/snes/sprites.htm). Swing over their way, and expect nothing but the flat bottom best! Both contain some of the largest libraries of Super Nintendo sprites and midi's known to the looniest of men! By the dickens I think I've defended my gold nearly a fourth of a hundred times (Now there's a stereotypical British accent amateur)!
Email 25
(Paragraphs times two; answers too intelligent... Crackup a'nt I?)
1. “According to Douglas Adams, what is the answer to the secrets of the Universe?”
2. “Do you have any idea whatsoever of whom Mario's parents are?”
-Flameboy0009
Wonder where I've heard this one before: 1. Discussed alas my previous update, Douglas Adams had an eighteen-wheeler load of neurotically insightful quips and views pertaining to the vastly imaginative Universe most of his books called home. Now, I don't really follow the lead presented here; what's the beef you'd like? 42 maybe? Well, if that's not what you're searching for, go join the séance awareness society at werebraindeaderthanthosewecareabout.com, and take a crack at resurrecting the U.K. funnyman himself! Then ask Mr. Hitchhiker whatever it takes to kill him off again!
2. Parents are genetic matters aren't they? And genetic hodge-podge is usually received as a Geneticist's field of expertise, correct? So straddle out of the chair you've functioned in your whole life, overwhelm metabolism by stacking full a none-to-deserving suitcase, and waddle on down (or up) to the nearest telephone with this number handy: 1-800-02IQ-ABSOLUTELY-NO-ONE-HAS-ANY-CLUE! Return voice message: Sorry, your number is inconceivable as dialed!
Email 26
“What are Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad's shoe size? Times five, divided by a piece of pie?”
-Videogamehead1
The pie is hardly the only fruity tart half-baked, next to you: Zoom in, 500x magnification, I'll examine the specimens, you record the data Lurch: Mario- sketchy, but closer to 3.5 pixels. Hmm... Luigi, chiefly homogenous (science talk'll wind him in a knot), and Peach clocks at 1.75 pixies herself. Toad has 1.5 cubic... you writing this down mongrel? Good, have Cousin It crunch the #'s, and Fester salvage a slice of Dutch apple surprise, got it? 0! How the... who ate all the surprise? Pugsly, you pudgy Drew Carey rip-off! That desert was scientifically donated for Mario research! You're fired sloppy seconds!
Email 27
“How much HP does Culex have?'
-Hertz134donit
Oh, you can bet it's gonna hurt: Whooo, hyaaaaaa, hyzaaaaaa, BAM, the answer's (kudos to Tom K.) 4096! Here comes your hurtin' bro: (Balling his lethal fist, Chang-something-or-other levitates the trembling knuckles five inches from Hertz's fragile mug. He mumbles the sacred hymn of the lore, and strikes the wrist towards his nose... but halts in mid air followed by a deep, gestured breath. “I'll put your lights out!” Chang thundered, Herty-boy drags himself to the chilled, merciless pavement seemly cold-blooded. Chang snatches all honors in victory! Chin hi ho, step forward Karate Kid, he was no thought of a match!) Tried tellin' ya earlier fool, nobody pushes Mush”ster” Chang Something-or-other's buttons! Got what ya deserved rookie!
Email 28
“Well, well, if you're so smart; why do Mario & Luigi have brown hair, but BLACK mustaches?”
-Perfectcell746
Miracles do exist, but... not in your case: It's a European abnormality! We ship them their first sip of Coke, and then a hundred years later they're still tippin' the can, soaking drop after drop into the upper lip, or the frequently used slang term “flavor saver”. Mario n' Luigi need only a simple lick of the fuzz, and presto, the black be gone!
Email 29
1. “Um, where do Lakitu's get their clouds?”
2. “Where do Koopa's get their shells?”
3. “Where do Buzzy Beetles get their shells?”
4. “Where do Paratroopa's get their shells?”
-Evil “Mario 120” Ryu
Shellin' the yellin': Who calls this worthy of a numerical explanation? Every redundantly smiling Q corresponds to a similarly (not ta mention righteously) aloof A! Lakitu's, Koopa's, Buzzy Beetles, Paratroopa's... Sonic, they came directly from the NOA's loins, distinctively the chap responsible for my existence, Mr. Miaymoto! Why do the environmental rejects have protective layers? NOA played artsy fartsy with tortoise n' creepy crawly depiction, and drew thee pod-like creatures out that way! Whoever could have been macking Lakitu's puff supply? Yank Miaymoto, he's the guy! Blarney, what's it gonna take for you glazed donuts to wake up n' smell the coffee your dunked into? Hell, you probably took the Sonic schlock truthfully didn't you? I'll file your case under... the better stack, UNDER as in BELOW! Whaaaaa, haaaaaaa, I'm the Mushroom King, and I'ma gonna win!
Email 30
“If I told you I took an enemy from SMB2, and nicknamed it Samurai, what would you believe the enemy was?”
-Andsean, “master” ful baron of BS.
Fondle my meat-cheese! The refrigerator kicked out two yrs. ago: Samurai the NINJA, NINJA, NINJA! (Come on kids sing along) Samurai the NINJA cleaved the Pokenerdster in the ass! Hi kiddos, thanks for the song! I'm your special guest today, Captain Obvious; let's have some fun with the alphabet, okay? (Scrunched rows of unruly preschoolers subject his question) Sure Mr. Obvious, we love letters! What a spirit these youngin's possess Sean, they don't hate you, but they loathe you with an ungodly passion! Shove that Barney, this' real wave of the future!
|
